


So you are a siphoner right?

by wootwoot2001



Category: Legacies (TV 2018), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Endgame Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman, F/F, Feels, Fights, Fingering, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay Panic, Hope Mikaelson & Penelope Park Friendship, Lesbian Sex, Oral, Past Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman, Penelope is crazy for Josie, Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Teasing, Useless Lesbians, quick burn sex, slow burn dating, soft penelope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:40:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 123,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21639742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wootwoot2001/pseuds/wootwoot2001
Summary: Penelope has a thing for Josie, especially when she is wearing skirts. When Raf breaks up with Josie for being pansexual, Penelope sees her chance. Finally, at a party they have alone time. Will Penelope make a move?Pretty much Josie is the star of Penelope's wet dreams, and Penelope tries to make her dreams reality.Used to be a one-shot but now is a whole story. It will center around the development of Penelope letting her walls down for Josie and becoming a complete softie.
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson & Lizzie Saltzman, Hope Mikaelson/Lizzie Saltzman, Penelope Park & Josie Saltzman, Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 653
Kudos: 1930





	1. The Party

The best news I ever heard. Like ever.  
The Josie Saltzman not only came out as pansexual, but her dumbass boyfriend broke up with her because of it. I know I must sound horrible cheering for the heartbreak of someone as sweet and innocent and Josie, but God, it is the best day of my life.

Josie has been the girl of my dreams ever since I laid eyes on her pouty lips, long legs and perfect ass. And by the girl of my dreams, I mean that literally. I am not proud to say that my dreams are often filled with the innocent Josie doing not so innocent things, or mostly me doing not so innocent things to her. The worst part is when I am awake, it’s not any better. I find myself drifting off constantly in class, wondering what she would sound and taste like. I know its horrible, I am a sex-craved perv, but I can’t help it. No matter how many girls or guys I sleep with, I always think of her.

Today is particularly worse than others. Now instead of pinning after this girl who would never like me back, I am now chasing someone I have an actual chance with. Now that my chances with Josie have skyrocketed, my head becomes even more clouded with her. It’s not that I am in love with her, it’s that I am so physically attracted to her it hurts. Like actually hurts.

So sitting next to Josie, while she is wearing those damned school uniform skirts, and is available is perhaps one of the most painful moments of my life. I may be freaking out on the inside, but years of being the stone-cold head bitch really are paying off because I don’t even look bothered.

Whatever movie is playing on the SmartBoard finishes, snapping me out of my thoughts. I look down at my blank sheet. Fuck. I was supposed to answer these questions, wasn’t I? I glance over at Josie’s sheet, and of course, every answered is written neatly, taking up every line given.

“Josie, can I see your sheet? I forgot I had to answer these.” I lean into her space and whisper. I intently watch her reaction, seeing if she will be annoyed with someone bumming off her hard work, but of course, in the only way Josie can, she offers a sweet smile and slides over her paper.

“Of course. Oh, and I wasn’t really sure about question 10, so don’t trust my answer.” She explains with a furrowed eyebrow, determined to make sure I get the best out of her answer.

Today, she has been quiet, and of course, it's justified with her recent breakup. I am surprised though to see that her pouty lip isn’t jutting out more than usual, which would have been expected. Instead, she seems more focused, and I don’t know if it’s because of the work in front of her, or because she is thinking about the breakup. Either way, Josie not being her cheery self is bothering me, and for some reason, I feel like it’s my duty to fix that.

I stop copying her notes look up to see her zoning out, “I am sure it’s fine, I don’t think I have ever seen you get a question wrong.”

She smiles but that’s it, and goes back to whatever she was thinking about. Josie and I have never been close, mostly due to the fact that her twin hates my guts and that I never wanted to get close to her, especially when I couldn’t get her. But that has changed now, well not the Lizzie part.

“Hey, Josie.” I stop writing once again and turn my full attention to her.

At first, she looks bothered by the fact I have interrupted her thoughts once again, but she quickly recovers with a kind, “Yeah.”

I know right now it’s probably not the best time to make my move. She just got out of a 6-month relationship, which is very long by high school standards. It’s just that I can’t help it. I have always been known to go after what I want, and I want Josie. I have been waiting in the background long enough.

“I heard what happened with Raf…” I can see her expression sadden, which makes me want to kick myself for bringing it up, “I just wanted to say that what he did is super fucked up. To break up with you for you being Pan is beyond stupid. I think you coming out was really brave, and I know how hard it can be. I want you to know I am here for you if you want to talk, and that he’s really fucking stupid for letting you go.” I try my best to not get super passionate, but it’s hard and I know I come across sincere when Josie reaches across the desk to give my hand a squeeze.

“Thanks, Penelope, that means a lot coming from you.” Instantly Josie’s face reddens, either from my words, or the ones that slipped out of her. I don’t think she meant to say that.

I am sure I would look like a puppy that just got praise from its owner because I can feel my eyes light up and I can’t help the smile that grows across my face. I now find myself more stable and confident as I gain more control over the conversation. I love the fact that I made her blush, and I know for the rest of the class, my goal is to see her blush again.

“Hmmm, coming from me? What’s that supposed to mean.” I tease her with my signature smirk. And God damn, I love seeing Josie squirm under my gaze after I finish my sentences.

I can tell she is flustered. And do I feel bad for pointing out something she obviously didn’t mean to say? Of course not.

“I- Its..” She stutters before taking a deep breath in, composing herself, “You’re Penelope Park, it just means a lot coming from someone so well-liked.” She can’t even make eye contact with me, and I think it may be the cutest thing I have ever seen.  
I scoff, “Well known and well-liked are two very different things.” I think of mentioning Lizzie’s hate towards me, but I don’t feel like bringing her up. I want to focus on Josie.

“Anyway,” I speak before she has the chance to respond, “Are you going to Jed’s party tonight?” I know the answer is most likely no. Josie doesn’t seem like that much of a partier. Honestly, I don’t think I remember her ever at a party, or at least not a time where she is either hiding behind her sister or holding her sister's hair back as she vomits.

Josie’s face scrunches at the idea of a party, “I don’t think so. Not really my scene.”

“Oh come on! It’s rare we ever get to party outside of this school, and there will be free booze.” I grinned at her, seeing if my convincing is working.

“I don’t know...” she trails off. I can’t tell if she is being polite or is actually on the fence.

I guess it is time to pull out the big guns. “Well, I would be really happy if you were to come. I don’t think I have gotten the honour to party with Josie Saltzman.” I say in a much softer voice.

“Not many people have.” She responds quietly.

“What a shame. Bet you would be a really fun drunk.”

Before she can respond the bell rings, interrupting our conversation. Before Josie can leave the classroom, I make sure I can get a definite answer out of her.

“Josie, please come.” I beg, “Look, you even got the Penelope Park to beg. That never happens.” I do my best to mock her pouty face, failing to look as adorable.

“If Lizzie is going I will.” She finally caves, and I can’t help the shit-eating grin from spreading across my face. I know Lizzie will for sure be there because she never misses a party. Especially one where she can make out with boys.

And with that, Josie turns on heels and walked out of the classroom. Reminding me again why Josie looks so damn good in a skirt. God, I hope she wears one to the party.

\-------------------------------------------------

Well, I can say that Josie did not disappoint. She showed up with her hair down and wavy, in a cropped top paired with of course a skirt. I know that tonight I am going to have trouble controlling myself around her, especially when alcohol is involved.

I watch her arrive once again behind Lizzie, hiding in her shadow like usual. She looks out of her element for sure, eyes darting around the party. I know I can’t approach her when she is beside Lizzie, but I don’t have to wait long until Lizzie is shoving her tongue down some poor boy's throat. I make a move towards Josie, but before I can get to her, she is already heading towards the stairs.

Now I know I have been watching her like a creep, but she doesn’t need to know that. I have to wait a bit before following her, and I need an excuse too. I go over to one of my followers and ask for a joint, which she gives me without question. With the lighter and joint now in my hand, I trek up the stairs, hoping to find Josie.

It takes me finding a bathroom and a couple about to fuck on a bed before I find her. Well, I don’t really find her, but rather an open window in a room. I walk into the room and stick my head out the window to find Josie sitting on the roof with a red solo cup in her hand. She looks deep in thought, which allows me to climb through the window without her noticing.

“Hey, Jojo.” I try my best not to scare her, and remain half successful as her cup still remains in her hand but she quickly jerks her head to see the intruder.

“Jeez, you scared me.” She puts her hand over her heart

I move to sit right beside her, probably closer than necessary, “Want some?” I stick out my lit joint and she instantly shakes her head.

“Figures.” I shrug, hoping she asks to me elaborate and continue the conversation. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” She asks pretending to be offended, with her arms crossed over her chest.

“You don’t seem like the girl to smoke.” I point out.

And to that, she grins and is quick to reply, “Well you don’t seem like the girl who would ever leave a party to smoke by herself.” Touche.

“Well, I guess there is a lot you don’t know about me then.” I shrug, hoping that my mysterious aura is something she would like.

In response, she just hums and takes another sip of her drink.

“So Josie Saltzman, tell me about yourself.” I turn towards her, giving her my best charming smile.

“Not much to tell.” She's short, and I don’t know if it's because of me or the question.

“You know what I think. I think at first glance Josie is a rule follower. Always gets good marks, never dabbles in black magic, says her pleases and thank yous. But I think she's just used to staying behind her sister, so she tries to make everyone’s life easier by following the rules. But deep down I think she should start doing things that she wants, rather than what everyone else wants.” Honestly, I was not planning to say all of that. Blame it on the alcohol, on my pent up anger towards Josie being disregarded as the ‘other’ twin, or that fact that whenever I am near Josie my head gets blurry. Either way, it's been said and I don’t know if she will hug me or hit me for saying it.

With skeptical eyes, I look over for her reaction. She seems to be really trying to internalize what I just said, and that’s a good thing right? After a few seconds, she finally, responds. “Cheers to that.” as she holds up her cup, that I lightly bump with my joint.

I take my first hit of the joint, and I do my best to impress Josie, which is really stupid. I doubt Josie would be impressed with how long I can inhale for and how long I can hold it, I doubt she even knows that it is impressive.

Of course, I am not feeling the effects yet, but I use it as an excuse to act more brazen, “What about me then? What do you think of me?” I try my best to not sound desperate, looking for Josie validation, but who am I kidding.

Josie takes another long sip of her drink, perhaps to give her more courage to say what she really wants to say.

“Well, I think you portray yourself as someone who never gets bothered by anything. Someone who has everyone wrapped around your finger. You act like you don’t have emotions and nothing hurts you. I don’t know what under this facade, but there is for sure something else.”

Well fuck. She got it. I wouldn’t say I am fake, or I am putting on a mask, but I for sure have my walls up. Only a few people ever get to see the true me, feelings and all. They are pretty much all family plus Hope and MG. Everyone else just sees what I want them to see. It is easier that way.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do have something underneath.” I whisper, not comfortable confirming her suspicion.

“Well, maybe one day I could see what's under that facade.” She offers. The idea of Josie seeing me as really me scares but also exhilarates me. Being able to not have to think about every word that comes out of my mouth, and how others will react. How it will change their perspective of me. It gets tiring, but the thought of being able to show Josie my true side wakes me up. That would be nice, but of course, I couldn’t do that. Open myself up like that to someone. It’s different with MG and Hope because I don’t think about what they would taste like every second of every day. They don’t haunt my dreams. I don’t know if I could handle the idea of tearing down my walls for Josie for her to just reject me. Don’t get me wrong though, I think Josie is hot and I would love to fuck her, but I am not the dating type, not even for Josie.

“Maybe.” I take another long drag.

We sit there in silence for a while, and I know it's now or never. It’s rare I ever get alone time with Josie, and I know any minute Lizzie will come looking for her, either crying about some boy or wanting to take some boy back home. Either way, she will ruin this, so I have to make my move quick.

Well, no matter how many times I practiced this in my head, this path is the best option. It gives me a perfect way to read if she is into me or not, and also gives me an excuse if things backfire.

I take a deep breath. Here we go. “So you are a siphoner right?”

“Yep, both me and Lizzie.” She nods. Funny she brings up Lizzie when I was just asking about her, must be a reflex.

“I have never been siphoned from before. Does it hurt?” Of course, I know it doesn’t hurt. I learned all about them in my magic history class, but I don’t mind playing dumb if this plan works.

“No, I can show you if you want?” Bingo.

“Sure.” I crush out my joint and Josie puts her cup down, turning so she is fully facing me, urging me to do the same.

She extends her hands, asking for mine. I slowly put my hands in hers, and I can’t help but feel the spark from this small touch. I also can’t help that my thumbs are lightly rubbing the back of her hand. She doesn’t seem to notice or care, which gives me a tinge of disappointment. I know if she did that to me, I would be losing my mind. My thoughts are broken by this weird tingling feeling in my hands that is too strong to just be an attraction. Both our hands glow a dull red for a couple of seconds before she stops.

I note that are hands are still together, even though she has stopped siphoning. I give her a lazy smirk, “That feels cool.”

She responds with an adorable giggle, and I can’t help but laugh too.

Stay on track. You are almost there.

“So does it only work for touching hands?” I already know the answer is no. I am not dumb, I actually get good marks in school, and am probably the most powerful witch at school.

“No, it can work from other stuff too.” She informs me, oblivious to where I am attempting to bring the conversation.

“So like if we touched elbows?” I joke, sticking out my elbow to her.

She nods before rolling up her sleeves and doing the same to mine. I can’t help the goosebumps her fingers leave behind and she grazes my arm.

She brings her elbow to mine and starts siphoning. She stops as we break into a fit of giggles. I think Josie might be the only person to ever hear me giggle.

“Knee to knee?” I offer, leaning on my side. Thank god I decided to wear shorts today.

She leans over too, before siphoning once again.

Now to change the tempo. “Nose to nose?” I asked with a raised eyebrow, and Josie’s playful demeanour vanishes. Even with minimal light, I see her cheeks turn pink.

Before she leans in, she reaches towards my face and pokes my nose with her finger.

“What?” I question her.

“Just checking if its cold. You have a really cute nose.” She adds in a daze.

Before I can say thanks, she is gently grabbing my face and leaning in. We are so close I can smell her shampoo and even her lip gloss, and it's absolutely killing me right now. I have to clench my fist to physically stop myself from kissing her right now.

When our noses finally touch, our lips are centimetres away, and I can hear both of our breath hitches. We both are breathing heavily right now, and I forgot about the whole siphoning thing until I see a red glow between our noses. Neither of us moves.

Time to go in for the kill.

“What about lip to lip?” I whisper, and I feel her gasp and take a sharp intake of air.

“Like a kiss?” She questions with a shaking voice.

“For science,” I say to try to justify myself, but I think we are beyond that now.

“For science” she repeats before closing the distance.

Holy shit. I can’t believe I am kissing Josie Saltzman.

At first, it's a light brush of the lips, but as soon as I deepen it a little bit, Josie takes it further, taking my bottom lip into her puffy ones. I can help by groan at the feeling. I move my hands to her jaw, licking her bottom lip, asking for entrance. She opens her mouth for me, and our tongues collide, and I almost cry when she whimpers at the contact. She actually whimpers. And it is by far the hottest thing I have ever experienced, and it shoots heat straight to my core.

I can’t help myself any longer, as a gently push her back to lay down, as I move half on top of her. She buries her hands in my raven hair, pulling lightly, making me moan and kiss her even harder.

It’s ironic how sinfully good Josie is good at kissing. Her lips are soft, but her movements are rough and I love it. Every second of it. I don’t think I have ever been so turned on before in my life, and nothing has really happened. Yet.

I move fully on to her, using my elbows to hold me up, and instantly I remember that we are on a roof, which probably isn’t the best place to continue this. I know my elbows will be fucked if I stay in this position for a long time.

I reluctantly pull away from the kiss, to ask her if she wants to move this inside, but before I can even think of getting the words out, her lips attach to my neck, and instantly I forget everything I was about to say.

I can’t help but rock my hips forward into Josie, which causes her to bite down on my neck, earning another moan from me. It takes me way longer than I would like to admit to finally form the sentence, “Wanna take this into the room.”

Josie detaches her lips from my neck and nods her head, looking too out of breath to talk, and I can’t help but feel proud. I bet Raf never made her this breathless from just kissing.

I roll of Josie and offer her my hand to get up. After we shuffle towards the window, she gestures for me to go first.

“Well I guess chivalry isn’t dead,” I smirk before going on my stomach to slink back through the window.

When I get safely to my feet, I am welcome with the site of Josie going through the window, and all I can see are her crazy long legs and her perfect ass in the goddamn skirt. I walk forward and lightly grab her hips, helping her to get down. Did she need my help? Absolutely not. Was in an excuse to touch Josie? Absolutely.  
“See I can be a gentlewoman t-” But I am cut off by Josie lips attacking mine. The kiss is urgent and so wanting it makes my knees go weak. It gets significantly worse when Josie plays with the hem of my shirt, asking shying for permission to take it off.

I nod my head without breaking the kiss, and instantly Josie grips the shirt, pulling it over my head. Then she just stares at me, appreciating my black lacy bra. She licks her lips before connecting ours again, running her hands down my now exposed back and torso.

I slip my hands underneath her shirt, “Can I?” I ask, making sure this is really what she wants.

Before I can answer she is pulling her own shirt off, eager to continue down this path. God, her being so into this is the best thing to ever happen to me. Just the thought of her being attracted to me is enough to walk her back towards the bed, letting her fall against it.

Her bralette is so... Josie. Cute and lacy and Red. I crawl on top of her briefly kissing her before bringing my lips to her neck and gently sucking. She moans and tangles her hands in my hair once again.

I find her pulse point and gently bite her before soothing over it with my tongue, making sure to leave a mark. I want Raf to know that I did this to Josie. His Josie.

I move kisses down further, biting her collarbone before moving to the swells of her tits. She arches into my mouth and whimpers again. I will do anything to hear that noise again. I suck harder, but before I can attempt to remove her bra, she flips us over.

The only thing I can process is that Josie is now straddling me as her skirt bunches up at her creamy thighs. On of my hands move up high on her thigh while the other grips her hip, encouraging her to start grinding.

Josie takes an exploratory rock of her hips and throws her head back at the sensation. The sight goes straight to my core, and I already know my underwear is ruined. She starts rocking harder, becoming more confident with her movements. She leans forward to connect our lips. The kiss is dirty with a lot of panting and tongue. It is incredibly hot. I can tell she is getting frustrated with the lack of friction. It’s not like I am a guy that has something she can rub up against. The thought of not giving her the pleasure she is used to from Raf absolutely makes me want to take her hard and fast right now and show her how much better I am than him. I don’t know if she wants that, so I instead grab the waistband of her skirt and pull it up.

I pull away from the kiss and instantly I moan at the site. Josie is wearing these perfect red cotton panties that have a visible wet spot on them. Just the contradiction between her girly little panties and that sinful wet spot is enough to make the words, “God, you’re such a good girl” slip out of my mouth before I can stop them. Before I even have the time to regret those words, she whimpers again, bringing my hand the side of her panties.

“Fuck.” I groan, lighting brushing my thumb against the side. I tease slowly, making very soft and slow movements, closer towards her clothed core.

“Please Penelope.” She moans as she rocks harder against my lap.

I bring my thumb to the soaked material, earning I moan from Josie and a jerk of her hips. I apply more pressure as I rub my thumb up and down, feeling her excitement coat my fingers, even though the cotton. God, I wonder how wet she really is. I wonder if she could cum just from this.

I circle my thumb around where her clit would be, and she throws her head back with a pornographic moan, which causes my hips to buck up into her, adding to her pleasure.

She continues to rock her hips, and I attempt to meet hers with every movement. My thumb continues to make tight little circles, and every so often, dip back towards her entrance to gather more wetness. I can tell by her movements and her noises that she is close, and god, I would love to see her cum.

“Come on baby.” I encourage her, causing her to rock even faster. I use my free hand to grab her covered tit, giving it a squeeze. I am about to ask if I can take my bra off before there is a loud knocking on the door. Causing Josie to jump off my lap.

Before the person can walk in, I cast a locking spell. The door handle jingles with more knocking. “Josie, are you there?” Of course its Lizzie. Has to ruin everything, like her sister's upcoming orgasm.

Josie looks at me guilty before shouting, “Yeah I’m here.”

I look up at her, giving her my best puppy dog eyes before whispering, “5 more minutes?” I really really really want to get her off. I think it will hurt me more for Josie not to cum than Josie herself.

She looks like she is thinking for a second before she shouts, “Give me 5 more minutes.” And with that I jump on Josie, giving her the biggest smile before I crash our lips together.

I snake one of my thighs between hers, and thank all the gay gods I am wearing shorts because I can feel her against me. Well not her but the cotton that has become so wet, it sticks to her in every place.

I quickly rock my hips into her, giving us both the friction we needed. We both moan into the kiss.

“More.” She begs, and I can’t deny her anything. If I had all the time in the world, I would do everything and anything to Josie. But right now we don’t have that time. I would tease her until she would beg me to fuck her senseless.

“What do you want.” I rasp in her ear before biting her ear lobe.

“Please touch me.” She whines as she rocks her hips into me.

Knowing we don’t have a lot of time, I pull her underwear to the side, finally able to really touch her.

“God, you are so fucking wet.” I groan. I can’t believe this is all for me. I am the one making her so wet. I am the one making her whimper.

I enter her with one finger and she instantly pulses around me. I slip in another finger, she's so wet that it's easy to slide in.

“Fuck Penelope.” She bucks into my hand.

I curl my fingers to find that spongy spot in her front wall, and when she moans and wraps her legs around my waist I know I found it. I bring my thumb to her throbbing clit, knowing it will make her come faster. I can tell she seconds away from the edge as he velvety walls clench around my finger.

I use my hips to add extra power to my fast thrusts while whispering in her ear, “Come, JoJo, come for me, baby.” And with that, her body stiffens and she lets out a choked moan before she gushes onto my hand and wrist.

“Holy fuck.” I pant. I just got to see Josie come, and be the one to make her come.

Her eyes are closed in bliss as her body fully relaxes and I pull my fingers from out of her. She opens her eyes and groans as she sees me take my fingers in my mouth, tasting every last drop of her.

“You taste so good,” I say after I pop out my fingers out of my mouth.

She grabs my neck and pulls me down for a sloppy kiss, and she moans at the taste of her on my tongue. We break apart panting.

“Can I take you home?” I ask, sounding more vulnerable than I would have liked to.

“Of course.” She grins before lightly pecking my cheek innocently as if she wasn’t begging for me to fuck her. God, how can she be so fucking hot and so adorable at the same time?  
Right before I go to kiss her again, The sound of gagging can be heard through the door and then a splash.

“I threw up.” Lizzie declares, causing me and Josie to quickly throw on our shirts and make our way to the door.

With one last kiss, we open the door to survey the mess Lizzie made.


	2. Drunk Lizzie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope goes back to school is Josie to take care of Lizzie, but we know that's not the real reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lot more fluffy. Made part 2!

When Josie and I eventually open the door, we are met with Lizzie slumped against the opposite wall with puke on the ground beside her. Her head hung low, and I can’t tell if she passed out or not. Either way I am glad because she doesn’t see me or Josie come out of the room together. I can tell that Lizzie finding out about whatever this is will just cause problems.

I still stay at Josie’s side as she sighs and nudges the limp Lizzie with her foot. Lizzie slowly comes back to reality, raising her head up and showing the mess that is her face. I can’t help but grin at the makeup running, and cluelessness in her eyes.

“Lizzie, what did you drink.” Josie says in the sweetest voice. I still don’t know how she does it. How she is so patient with Lizzie, as if always taking care of your sister every night is normal. I honestly can’t remember a time that Lizzie took care of Josie. It is really an unfair balance of give and take.

“Josie, I’m fine.” She slurs, causing Josie to roll her eyes. Josie grabs Lizzie hand and attempts to pull her up, but the deadweight that Lizzie is, is too much for little Josie to pull. She then looks up to me with pleading eyes, and it shocks me that I reach for Lizzie without even thinking about it. It’s like Josie put a spell on me. I can’t say no to her or her adorable face.

Together we pull her up and wrap Lizzie’s arms around each of our shoulders. We then drag her down the stairs, getting tons of looks for the other drunk teenagers. Funny thing is, they aren’t looking at Lizzie, because they have all seen her like this countless times. They are looking at me, helping a drunk girl, and more importantly Lizzie Satlzman. 

MG comes trotting up towards us, “Shit, she okay?” He questions Josie with actual concern in his voice. I know MG has a huge crush on Lizzie, he is not very subtle about it, which surprises me that Lizzie hasn’t noticed. Most likely too self centred to ever think about someone else, or too busy chasing some guy that just wants her for a fuck. MG is a great guy, and I am somewhat happy that Lizzie hasn’t noticed how whipped he is, because she doesn’t deserve him.

“Yeah, you know how she can be at parties. Can you call an Uber?” Before the words even leaves Josie’s mouth his phone is out and the app is open. 

I turn to Josie, making the conversation more private, and with MG taking care of Lizzie, we are somewhat alone again, “You’re going to go home and take care of her?” 

“Of course.” 

“I could help if you want?” Obviously, I don’t want to help a drunk Lizzie Saltzman, she is annoying enough when she is sober, but it gives me more time with Josie. And being able to finally taste Josie made me realize that this isn’t a one and done thing like I usually do. Now that I know what it’s like to kiss, touch and fuck Josie, I can’t go back. I can tell by how quiet she got taking care of Lizzie that she probably thinks that what she is to me. Another one of my fucks. By going home and ‘helping’ take care of Lizzie, it shows I want this to continue, well shows it without me actually having to say it. Not that I am not brave enough to say it. I always speak my mind, but again I am somewhat a little scared that she will reject me. I can’t handle not touching Josie ever again.

“What?” Her eyebrows raise in shock and I can’t help the little chuckle from falling out of my lips. I am known to be selfish, and I may be loyal when I really get close to someone, but you will never see me holding back my friends hair when they are puking, or cuddling them when they are sad. It’s just not by style.

“Yeah. I mean I’m not going to clean her puke or change her, but I thought I could keep you company.” I explain, and good that sounds so desperate and lame. 

I see the confused look, maybe even panic in her eyes. And then I realise what she thought I meant. I lean is super close to her, my lips brushing against her ears, “Don’t worry. I’m not going to try to fuck you infront of your drunk sister. No matter how much I want to feel you.” She shivers and I hear her gasp. God, I love the effect I have on her. I then pull back and with a rare shy Penelope smile, I say, “I was just thinking we could talk or watch Netflix or something.”

The cutest smile spreads across Josie’s face and I notice her eyes lingering on my lips. It is really going to be hard to not be able to touch her tonight.

“I would like that.” And with those soft words, my insides melt a little and I know I am in trouble.

“Uber’s here!” MG yellings, wrapping his arm around Lizzie and directing her outside. Josie and I are slowly trailing behind. It seems that we weren’t the only ones heading back as the car fills with people, leaving only one spot for Josie and I.

“Looks like you’re going to have to be on my lap again Jojo.” I whisper will giving her waist a teasing squeeze.

Instantly her face goes pink. I love that she can be riding my fingers, and the next second, even an indirect joke about it, and she turns into a blushing mess. 

I take the seat and Josie slowly sits on my lap and suddenly it's not so funny anymore. Just thinking about how her panties are still ruined just underneath her skirt. Or how she tasted and felt like. It’s driving me nuts and she just sat on my lap 5 seconds ago, I don't know if I can handle a whole car ride.

I place my hand closest to the door and away from the sight of anyone else on the outside of her thigh because I can’t really help myself. I move my thumb, making small patterns on her soft skin. Josie pressing harder into me or her slightly spreading her legs doesn’t go unnoticed by me. I slowly slide my hand up further on her thigh. Josie starts shifting on my lap, and I can’t help but raise my hips up to meet hers tightly. I couldn’t help the quiet groan that left my lips. Josie, more encouraged now, grinds down harder, gripping my hand on her thigh, and dragging it further up her leg.

“We are going to have to stop now, because I'm one more second away from taking you right here.” I practically growl in her ear. She stops her movements, but not before she lets out a dirty little whimper. This woman will be the death of me.

Before we know it, the Uber comes to a stop outside the school. We wave off the Uber driver before slowly walking towards the main doors. Josie stays close to my side, and slightly brushes her hand with her and it’s maybe the cutest thing I have ever seen. 

MG is now full on carrying the drunk Saltzman, heading up the stairs. MG enters their room, gently placing Lizzie on the bead. “You guys good from here?” He questions. Josie nods, walking MG out but not before thanking him, as if it is her fault. 

I watch silently on the bed while like a routine Josie gathers her sisters pajamas, brushes her sisters teeth, and takes off her makeup. I turn when she tells Lizzie to change.

I don’t turn around until I feel a weight on the bed. I turn to find Josie with a lazy smile on her face. Seeing her more relaxed around me is comforting, but I honestly just want to get her flustered again.

“What movie do you want to watch.” She asks as she turns to pick up her laptop. 

“Horror?” She reacts with a roll of her eyes and a huff 

“Of course you would pick a horror movie.” She scoffs playfully

“And let me guess Miss Josette Saltzman, you just love rom coms?” I mock, and she gives a small smile. She doesn’t deny it, as she sets up her laptop. She then goes to her closet, picking up Pajama shorts and a t-shirt. While she holds it out for me, I give her a questioning look, “So you don’t need to wear that this whole time.” She gestures to my tight clothes.

Without thinking, I left my shirt over my head, show Josie my bra once again. When my head is out of my shirt, I see Josie’s deer eyes look even bigger than usual. Her eyes instantly falls to my chest and they are dark with desire. It makes me what to see what happens if I get absolutely naked. I am quick to remember that drunk Lizzie is half awake in the next bed over. She really does ruin everything. Seeing how far I could push it while still playing the innocence card, I take my bra off through the shirt and toss it towards Josie.

Her eyes again are glued to my chest, and I can’t help but feel proud and incredibly turned on. The shirt is big enough where is goes to mid thigh, so I pull of my tight shorts, tossing them on the group next to the bra. 

“Josie, I think I am going to need some underwear too.”I say, kind of embarrassed but mostly turned on when I explain, “mine are pretty much ruined thanks to this really hot girl I hooked up with tonight.” I bloom in pride when her eyes flutter closed, obviously just as affected as I am.

She then shuffles back to her closet, and she stands, just looking at her drawers for a few seconds too long. Probably flustered and unsure of what to pick. Before I have the chance to tease, she comes back with Calvin Klien boyshorts. I don’t know if this is exactly what I expected or I was surprised she didn’t bring me a lacy thong.

I take it out of her hands, making sure that that are fingers gaze. While maintaining eye contact, I slide off my underwear before pulling the new ones on. Josie stands mesmerized in the room with her jaw clenched. I quickly slip on the shorts as well.

“You going to sleep in that?” I gester to her skirt. She looked shocked for a second before a smile graces her face. 

“No.” She grabs her clothes and turns towards to bathroom, before shutting the door, reminds me to “Watch Lizzie.” then closes the door. Her modesty is so cute, and once again contrast the Josie who was whimpering below me just a handful of minutes ago.

“Satan.” Lizzie attempts to whisper, but it comes out loud and messy.

“Yes?” I lazy roll my head towards her.

“You better not try anything.” She waves her finger lazily in my general direction.

I really want to say too late, but I’m worried it will get Josie in trouble. Instead I lift my arms in surrender, which I am not even sure Lizzie can see with her blurred vision. 

She then mumbles something into her pillow along the lies of “Grade 6 Josie would be dying that you…” then it turns into words that I can’t understand.

Of course I push her to repeat herself, and she just giggles, “No, Josie would kill me if I told you she’s been crushing on you since grade 6.” And then she slaps her hand over her mouth, with her eyes wide. She jolts her head towards me before putting finger over her lips, and I respond by zipping my lips.

I can’t help but feel giddy that Jojo has been thinking about me like that too. Well probably have been thinking about me more innocently, but still. I didn’t even know she cared who I was in grade 6, let alone had a crush on me.

When Josie comes out of the bathroom looking cuter than ever with her big t-shirt and sleeping shorts on, her makeup is wiped off and she has never looked more adorable.

I snap out of my heart eyes as she offers my a makeup wipe. I take it but I hesitate. Very few people have seen me without makeup. Without the eyeshadow and lipstick. It’s not like I don’t know I’m pretty, its just I look a lot softer. I then wipe off my makeup, and either my face or my hestiance is telling because Josie leans forward and gently kisses my lips, and I instantly feel better. It like she reassured me.

“So, Horror movie then?” I am surprised she didn’t even fight it, just allowing me to win. She just probably is used to letting Lizzie pick whatever she wants.

“No, I want to watch whatever you do.” And I don’t miss the way Josie’s eyes light up as I give her permission to do what she wants. She scrolls through her list on Netflix and it's filled with unwatched shows and movies. She settles on the Age of Adaline, and lies back in her bed, giving space for me.

I flop backwards, lying closer than necessary. The laptop rest between our laps, and I almost lose my mind when Josie struggles closer to me. Wrapping her mostly bare leg around mine, essentially hanging off of me. I am not a touchy or affectionate person at all, so if this was anyone other than Josie, I would have told them to move. But this was Josie and I could never say no to her, but also cuddling with her wasn’t horrible. She was warm, and her core pressed into the side of my hip was forsure a bonus.

Halfway through the movie filled with me joking about it and Josie giggling into my neck and shoulder I realize I can’t help but feel comfortable with her, but the throbbing between my legs has continued to persist. I can tell Josie is getting a little flustered to because her hips keep pressing harder into me. She has shifted, and I am unsure if its because she wants fiction or if she is just trying to get comfortable. 

I pause the movie before turning towards her, planting a soft kiss on her lips, hoping it expresses what I am feeling. Josie smiles into the kiss before deepening it. Feeling her plump lips again makes me weak again. 

We only kiss for a few moments more before Lizzie complains, “I can hear you two! Control your hormones.” 

Josie instantly pulls away and buries her head into my neck out of embarrassment, and I can’t stop myself from running soothing patterns in her back.

“Fucking Lizzie.” I mumble, before moving the laptop from our laps onto the ground. When I lie back down, Josie is farther away, closing her eyes for sleep. I’m assuming she doesn’t like to cuddle in her sleep, but I will not pass up a chance to get closer to her. 

“Do you want to spoon?” I quietly asked, sounding nothing like myself.

“Josie opens her eyes, a grin breaking across her face, “And who is the big and small spoon?” She teases, turning her head towards me.

I scoff, “I think it’s pretty obvious.” And with that Josie faces her back towards me and I can’t help but laugh.

I move up to her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pressing my front tightly to her back. My nose is buried in her hair and the smell of her shampoo fills my lungs. I contently sigh before squeezing her tight and slowly drifting off to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't know about continuing this. I would really appreciate your feedback if you want this to continue! ALSO! Give me any suggestions you have for potentially upcoming chapters. What would you like to see?


	3. Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the party and the hookup. A lot more perspective into Penelope and her feelings. Lot more fluff and a lot more smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really bored so did this today and last night. Updates usually won't be this quick.

I wake up with warmness pressed up against me, or I am pressed up against something warm. Josie. I naturally pull her closer, pushing my hips into her butt, which earns a sleepy groan from Josie. I gently move the hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. She looks so cute when she is sleeping with her mouth slightly open and her lips pouty. I lift my head up to see Lizzie isn’t in her bed. I listen for a moment and don’t hear anything in the bathroom. We are alone again, and I don’t really want to waste my time.

“Jojo,” I whisper in her ear before placing light kisses on her neck. She grumbles in her sleep, pushing her ass further into me. I keep peppering her neck with kisses, and I start sucking harder, biting lightly on marks from last night. I can tell she is awake now because her body tenses, and I freeze for a moment, worried she regrets everything last night. She breaks this perspective when she rocks back into me and stretches her neck for me. I can’t help the rush between my legs I feel at her ability to just melt into me. Just letting go of everything she feels and is just there with me in the moment.

I attack her neck while I slip a thigh between hers, giving her the friction she needs. She groans as the pressure, squeezing her legs together, keeping my thigh in place. I take a torturously slow rock into her, gently moving my thigh against her. I tease her with this slow pace for a while until she huffed with annoyance and sets the pace herself, rocking hard on my thigh. I almost faint at the sight and I watch in complete awe, listening to the small whining noises coming from her mouth.

I can't help but attempt to relieve my own burn by starting up a pace again, positioning myself so I have more movements with my thighs. Josie seems to like me doing most of the work as she slows her grinding, just focusing on the movements of my hips and my thigh against her core.

I start panting into her ear, whispering her name and countless swear words in a raspy voice. She moans louder every time I swear. Josie is just so responsive to me.

Suddenly, Josie flips around, and pushing me on my back, before she crawls over me, trapping her body on top of mine.

“I owe you a mind-blowing orgasm.” She rasps before leaning in and kisses me.

“You don’t owe me anything Jojo, we will only do what you're comfortable with.” I softly speak. Jesus why do I feel so gentle when I talk to her. She is legitimately ruining me.

She sports a smile before she leans down and sweetly peck my lips. She then pulls back and that innocent Josie falls as her eyes darken, “I really want to taste you.” She essentially begs, running her nails down my shirt, lightly scratching my skin.

“Jesus, Josie. I’m not going to last long.” I know it's not going to be long at all. Firstly, with past partners and with myself, it doesn’t take long for me to come, always under 15 minutes. Now add in the fact that there was hot as hell foreplay, and the fact that Josie Saltzman said she wants to taste me. Yeah, I am fucked.

This statement brings confidence to Josie, and I can’t help but internally high five myself at being a part of her gaining more confidence in herself. She just moans and kisses me harder. Her kisses trail down to my neck. Her puffy lips suck on my pulse point, making sure it's going to leave a bruise. She nibbles on the skin before soothing it with her tongue. She is surprisingly good at everything, seemingly very experienced. It makes me wonder if I am not the only girl she has been with.

She kisses further down before she is stopped by my shirt. She looks up, and slips just her fingers into my shirt, “Can I?” She refers to taking my shirt off. So overwhelmed by the fact that Josie is seconds away from eating me out, I just dumbly nod my head.

She lifts up my shift slowly and tenderly, and honestly, the tension is far too romantic for me. It’s too meaningful.

As soon as my shirt is off, Josie pulls back and stares with awe, eyeing in on my chest. The looks become too longing and caring, so I grab the back of her neck and smash our lips together. I set the pace rough and desperate. Whatever the feeling that was set before was overcome with lust. Perfect.

Her lips quickly trail down kisses towards my freed chest. She sucks on the swells, making sure to leave marks. When she finally takes one of my already hardened nipples into her mouth, I can’t help the needy moan that escapes from my lips. I arched my back further into her, and I lace my fingers into her soft brown hair.

God, she is crazy good with her tongue. She twirls her tongue around the nub, then gently tugging it with her teeth. It causes me to rock my hips up to her, desperate for pressure on my already soaked core.

She switches to my other breast, while still rolling the other nipple between her fingers. She is going so agonizingly slow that I am close to begging, and Penelope Park never begs.

Her lips eventually move south, mixing sweet kisses and rough grazing of teeth on my stomach. She reaches the hem of the sleep shorts. She kisses my cloth-covered mound while still holding eye contact with me and I instantly know this will be the quickest orgasm I ever will have. It is going to be embarrassingly quick.

Her fingers hook around the shorts, looking up at me for consent. “Please,” I whine. Like actually whine. That noise has never left my lips before and I can’t tell if I love or hate this effect she has on me.

She quickly slips off my shorts, revealing my ruined panties. Josie groans at the sight and experimentally touches the wet spot with her finger. God, she is such a tease.

My hips bucked and I can tell by Josie’s face she loves having this control over me. Having the head bitch at school squirming under her. So wet and ready for her. As much as I like being dominant in past hookups, I can’t help but like Josie in control too. She just looks so confident, and it warms my heart a little.

Josie starts placing kisses to my inner thighs, causing me to spread my legs further, and I don’t miss the smile that is pressed into my thigh. Josie then does the hottest and dirtiest thing I have ever seen. While looking up at me through her eyelashes in the most innocent and yet wicked way, she takes a slow broad lick of my underwear covered slit. I almost die. My toes curl and I let out a mixture between a moan and a growl. My hand that was laced into her hair can’t help but tug lightly on her roots, causing Josie to let out a needy little whimper.

Okay, now she hasn’t even touched my skin to skin and I am very close to the edge.

“Jojo, you are so fucking hot.” I groan, knowing that my words will only encourage her.

She then swiftly tugs down the underwear, leaving me bare. Her eyes lock on to my dripping slit, and the predatory look and the lick of her lips is the last thing I see before she dives in.

With small kitten licks, she starts out slow and exploratory. It is torture in the best way possible. When the tip of her tongue brushes against my clit, my hips bucked into her mouth. She wraps her arm around my waist and hips, forcing me to the mattress. She then repeats the action, adding more pressure. Finding what I like, she focuses more on my bundle of nerves. Circling with her tongue as she lets her fingers sloppy gather the wetness in my folds. I am a panting mess, and my eyes are closed. Trying my hardest to prolong this orgasm, and I know seeing Josie between my legs will send me over.

She switches up her fingers and mouth, rubbing tight circles into my clit with the pad of her fingers, and when her tongue is pushing past my entrance, I make the naive decision to open my eyes and look down. With that, it takes me about 10 more seconds to come. My walls clench around her tongue before my legs tighten around her head. I let out the loudest and dirtiest moan to ever leave my mouth. I can feel my wetness flood out of me, covering Josie’s chin.

It takes me much longer than usual to gain my composure, and it most definitely is because Josie is still slowly pumping her tongue in and out of me, making sure I prolong the orgasm. Just when I think she is done, she cleans me up, licking everywhere to taste my last drop. Most people I have been with treat oral like a chore, but Josie seems excited and pleased to be doing it. Enjoying it almost as much as I am.

When she finally stops and comes up, I pull her by her neck to kiss her, licking her lips, tasting myself on her. God, it is so hot that she tastes like me.

We reluctantly pull away, both needing to breathe. Resting our foreheads against each other, Josie whispers, “You might want to put on clothes. Lizzie is probably going to be back soon.”

I groan, nuzzling my face into Josie’s neck. Not really wanting this moment to end because I know everything will be different as soon as I leave this room. The bubble will burst and I am not really sure where to go from here.

She giggles at my reaction, before moving off me to collect my discarded clothes. She gently puts the clothes back on me. Somehow her dressing me is way more intimate than her undressing me. She’s too sweet. She is way too kind and caring. She is just too soft. It’s too much for me to handle. Too much in every worst way. I can feel the anxious buzzing in my head, and just with the clothes being put back on, my walls are up.

She is far too good for someone like me. I don’t deserve the sweet kisses or the gentle touches. It is not that I dislike them, it’s that I know what those touches mean, and the weight they carry. I don’t know if I am ready for it. It has nothing to do with Josie, it’s just how I am. But at the same time, it has everything to do with Josie. I have seen these looks before, felt these soft touches but I can ignore them. I can not care about what comes next. Not have sleepless nights about who I let down or led on. This, what I have with Josie is different. I know I am soft for her, and I am sure she knows that. I was too busy worrying about how much I let her in that I was clueless of her feelings. Especially with Lizzie telling me about Josie’s crush, I think this must mean something to Josie. And it’s not that it doesn’t mean a lot to me, because it does. I want this to continue, and the sexual pull I feel towards her is not something I plan on ignoring. I just don’t know how to explain to Josie what I want. It’s hard to explain something that has moved this quickly to slow down. Of course, I don’t mean sexually, but emotionally. It’s not that I don’t like this warm feeling I get, it just scares me. It scares me that I can’t give Josie what she wants, and it scares me even more that I care about that.

What do I say to her? ‘Hey, let's keep fucking, but like let’s take it slow.’ No matter what words are used, this conversation is bound to happen and can’t end well. The more I prolong it, the worse it’s going to get.

All that is certain is that I haven’t felt this way before. Trusting and connected almost instantly. To be able to have this attraction, and this need to be close to her is new to me. I thought the attraction would dull when I fucked her, but it has done the exact opposite. The already strong magnetic pull towards her has tripled, and the connection is no longer only sexual. Or maybe it never was only sexual. Maybe I was avoiding it.  
I don’t know what to do. I slept in her bed. I am wearing her clothes, and she still has my excitement on her chin. It’s just a lot. It’s just overwhelming.

I watched her intently as she leans in, pressing another sweet and passionate kiss to my lips. And just like that, all my thoughts, all my doubts, just vanish. I kiss her back, savouring as much as I can. I don’t know if this will be the last time. I sure as hell don’t want it to be, but it’s all up to Josie.

I know I am assuming she wants this, her gestures, her touches and her gentleness are leading me to believe so. But, I can’t really picture Josie doing anything without sweetness. Was she this sweet with Raf? Is she just missing being this intimate with someone? Was I a rebound or just something that made her feel better?

I know a conversation would clear this all up, but there is no way I am going to start it. I am not someone who expresses their emotions, let alone talk about it.

We pull away from the kiss and Josie rolls off of me. I stretch out my limbs before leaving the comfortable bed, stepping on the cold hardwood floor. While I am gathering my clothes from last night, Josie just watches me from her bed.

“Thanks for helping me last night.” She says quietly, sounding very small.

“I didn’t really help,” I mumble, still focusing on my finding my clothes, not giving her my full attention.

“Anyways, thanks.” Her voice sounds sad, and I finally turned to her. She is sitting crossed-legged on her bed, and her mouth is shaped in a pouty frown.

She looks hurt maybe. Am I being a dick? Maybe I am just being a little cold. I don’t even realize it and it makes me further my perspective that she really is too good for me. She is probably looking for some reassurance that last night isn’t just a one-night thing, or that I am just trying to get into her pants.

Most hookups I am out right after it happens, I never sleep there and I for sure never cuddle. But this is Josie.

I slowly walked over to her bed, leaning towards her and placing a soft kiss on her pouty lips. I then move to kiss her cute little button nose, which scrunches up after. I can’t help but place three more kisses on her face, one on each cheek and the last on her forehead. Holy fuck I am so soft for her.

“You are welcome,” I say way to gently. I really need to save myself. I turn towards to more comfortable position of lust. “And I am pretty sure you already showed your gratitude this morning.” I wink at her, finding immense joy in the pink the spreads across her cheeks.

Now, gaining my confidence back, I attempt to control the situation. I know I should be leaving soon to avoid Lizzie and her wrath, but I feel like leaving without talking is really going to give off the wrong message.

“So Jojo, did I convince you to come to more parties here on?” I continue to tease her.

She picks an invisible lint ball on her comforter, not keeping eye contact. She is so cute when she is shy.

“If every party will end like that one, then probably.” I see a small smile on her lips, but she is trying to hide it.

“Doesn’t need to be a party to have that type of end.” I try to keep my tone light, but I hope she understands I am really being serious. This isn’t just some drunken hook up.

I can tell that she is giddy by my response but once again she tries to hide it. The thought of her getting all excited that this will continue just encourages me to push at it. I am starting to doubt the whole rebound thing.

“Good to know.” She grins at the floor

“Yeah.” I stand there in awkward tension-filled silence. Both of us not wanting today to end, and unsure how we should say goodbye.

“I should, you know, get going.” I sway from side to side.

“Uhhh, yeah.” Josie fumbles before getting off the bed, walking me towards to door.

I don’t know why it feels like we just had our first date, and she is walking me to the door. I feel that the exact awkward pull of your first kiss, even though we are far from it. I look to her lips and notice her chin is still shiny from when she ate me out moments ago. I grab the collar of her shirt, gently wiping it off.

“You know, I have never come that quickly before. God, the things you can do with the pouty lips of yours.” I say as I rub the pad of my thumb against her bottom lip. I feel her sharp intake of breath and I really can’t get enough of her. Her eyes are so dark and wanting, and I know she has probably been pent up all morning.

I move my thumb just to replace it with my lips, and she quickly complies, slipping her tongue in my mouth and gripping my hips, pulling them flush against her. I push her against the door, making a soft grunt leave her lips, but it is quickly swallowed by my own.

The grip on my hips tighten, encouraging me to rock into her. I slip one of my thighs between hers, and I can instantly feel the heat coming off her. Both of us moan at the contact. I let Josie set the pace, following the movement of her hands on my hips.

I slide one of my hands up her shirt, cupping her breast in one of my hands. I can feel her hardened nipple against my palm. I give it a light squeeze, causing Josie to buck into me.

I quicken the strength and spends of my thrusts while starting to play with one of her nipples between my fingers. She breaks the kiss to breathe, she is panting heavily and her hair is dishevelled from sleep and our morning activities. She has never looked more gorgeous.

I bury my face into her neck, just breathing in her scent. I start places soft kisses on her hickies while continuing my pace and my fingers working on her nipples.

“Penelope... Fuck… please stop teasing.” She groans in between her panting.

I move my head from her neck. Making sure she can see me when I say “Do you need me to touch you, baby?”

Her eyes flutter closed as she moans out a yes. “Mouth or fingers?” I rasp. I love it when she tells me exactly what she wants.

“Mouth. Please.” She begs.

I keep eye contact as a lower to my knees, raking my hands down her body. Just as I reached for her shorts, Josie is jolted forward by the door. I save her from falling by grabbing her hips.

I look up at her to see the most hate I have ever seen present in Josie’s face. She looks like she is two seconds away from lighting everything on fire.

“For fuck sake.” She groans. Wow, she must be really pissed if she is swearing.

In the only way Lizzie fucking Saltzman can, she doesn’t apologize for interrupting, but instead demands from the other side of the door that “you guys better have your clothes on because I am coming in now.” She barely gives Josie time to move out of the way or time for me to get off my knees.

Lizzie bursts open the door looking disgusted in our directions. “I am far too hungover to even think about what was going to happen here before I saved you, Josie.” She spits, completely ignoring me.

It warrants an eye roll from both of us, and Lizzie plops down on her bed while glaring at me, forcing me to leave the room with her eyes.

I head towards Josie, not giving a shit if Lizzie approves or not, I lean in to kiss Josie, and I hear a gag from Lizzie, leading me to flip her off during the kiss. I whisper in Josie’s ear, making sure the blonde Barbie can’t hear “Sorry that I couldn’t get you off.”

“It’s fine.” She breathlessly whispers back, still obviously feeling the effects of me about to eat her out.

“Next time.” I wink before heading towards the door.

“Bye Jojo.” I wave, completely ignoring Lizzie and the whatever snarky comment she made when I left.

Once the door clothes, I can’t help but grin. I feel giddy inside, just like a little school girl with a crush. Well, I guess that exactly what I am. I rush off towards Hope’s room, and I can’t wait to tell her how absolutely fucked I am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Josie for sure needs a cold shower after that.
> 
> LOVE YOUR FEEDBACK! What did you think? Is Penelope too soft or falling to fast? 
> 
> Would you like to see a Josie POV?


	4. The Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope talks to Hope, while Josie has to listen to Lizzie's rant.
> 
> Both Penelope and Josie POV. 
> 
> Mostly Fluff

I can’t help but knock rapidly on Hope’s door. I am excited to tell her about my night with Josie because she knows how much I wanted this. Well, more the sexual part, rather than the feelings. To be fair to myself though, these feelings really didn’t surface until today. 

Usually, I wouldn’t share something so intimate with someone, especially something that involves feelings, but this is Hope. Hope as seen me at my worst, and has seen me without the mask. I trust her with my life, and I would like to think that she thinks the same.

When the door finally opens, I am welcomed with a half-awake Hope with a grumpy frown on her face. She grumbles something incoherent before fully opening the door for me, lazily motioning me to enter.

I rush to her bed, feeling giddy that I can actually tell someone about how I feel.   
“Guess what happened last night.” I grin, looking like the Cheshire cat. 

I can see Hope slowly waking up, her squinty eyes widening slighting. “Obviously something good, because I don’t think I have ever seen you so bubbly.” She mumbled, not amused by me interrupting her sleep.

“I fucked someone.” I continue, which earns an eye roll from Hope.

“And that’s news because?” She questions. Well, she isn’t wrong. It is not odd that I hook up with someone at a party. It’s not that I am dependant on it, it’s just I have a need, and a lot of people are willing to fulfill it. I guess I kept sleeping with people because it felt like something was missing, and sleeping with people didn’t fill that, but it felt like it was close to filling it. A temporary fix I suppose. Well, now I found that missing something in Josie, and I can’t wait to tell Hope about it.

“You will never guess who it was.” I watch for Hope's reaction. Her face goes from annoyance to confusion and then to realization.

Her eyes comically widen and her mouth opens to let out an exaggerated gasp. 

“You fucked Josie!” She yells, shocked by the news. I immediately shush her, knowing that Josie probably doesn’t want the whole school to find out.

“No way.” She exclaimed in a whisper. I can’t help but smile at the situation. Firstly, Hope's 180 degree turn from grumpy and annoyed to excited and shocked is ridiculously entertaining. Secondly and most importantly, being able to share my excitement about Josie with someone just fills me up inside. It makes me happy. Content.

I nod my head slowly, sporting my famous smirk. Hope slaps my arm, and I wouldn’t admit this to anyone but it actually hurt.  
“I honestly don’t even believe you.” She shakes her head in disbelief. She knows that I am crazy attracted to Jojo, and I wasn’t too pleased to find out she had a crush on Josie when she was younger. Obviously I trust Hope enough to not do anything with Josie, she knows I have dibs on her.

“Man, she is the hottest person to ever exist. Everything she did just made me crazy. She made me come in like five minutes. Five Hope. Five.” I hold up five fingers, making sure she understands how responsive my body is to Josie.

“Jesus. I need more details. How did you get from essentially never talking to her making you come in 5 minutes?” She cocks her head to the side, impatient for my answer.

God, where to start. “Well, I convinced her to come to the party and pretty much told her Raf was an asshole for letting her go. Then w-” Hope goes to interrupt, causing me to raise my eyebrow at her, giving her the ‘do you really want to do that’ look, and instantly the big and mighty tribrid shuts her mouth.

I continue, “Anyways, then I went to smoke a J on the roof and found Josie. Then you know, we started talking and I asked about her siphoning abilities. We were seeing like what parts of our bodies could touch and she could siphon from.” 

“Oh god, you didn’t make her grab your tit or something.” Hope gasps horrified that I would taint someone as innocent as Josie. It is somewhat insulting.

“Of course not Hope. I am way smoother than that.” How dare she insult my flirting skills. “I had first asked if nose to nose would work. Then I said lip to lip.” I brag with a smug grin of my face.

“Okay, I don’t know if that is the dumbest or smartest thing I have ever heard.” She laughs, amused by my antics. 

“Well, it was smart because it worked. Next second Josie is straddling me on the bed in a fucking skirt. You know how crazy those make me.” I know I am probably making heart eyes, reliving my time with Josie. “Then, Lizzie being the fucking worst once again tries to cock block, and I beg Josie for five more minutes. Oh, and did I mention that Josie practically dragged my hand to her underwear. God, it was the hottest thing.” I can feel myself getting worked up just talking about it. What I wouldn’t give to taste her right now.

“Jesus! I never thought Josie would be like that.” I can’t help but notice in Hope’s eyes that her mind wanders. For sure thinking about Josie in bed, and for the first time in my life, I feel this possessiveness overcome me.

“Yeah, well don’t think about it.” I practically growled at her. Instantly her eyebrows shoot up and she gives me this smirk.  
“God, she must really do it for you, because you already get all protective and jealous. You got it really bad Pen.” She chuckles, not intimidated at all. Hope is probably the only person in this entire school that won’t back down to me, well minus Lizzie.

I groan and throw myself face down on her bed. “Hope, I am so fucked.” Like I am super fucked. Josie has me under her spell and all we did was sleep together once. I am already so whipped for her it actually worries me. I like being in control, and when I am around Josie, she fully controls me. If Josie asked me to jump off a bridge, I think I just might. 

I could hear the shock in Hope’s voice, “I cannot believe the Penelope Park is a lovesick puppy for the ultimate good girl Josie Saltzman.” 

My ears perked up at the term good girl, instantly thinking of when I called Josie that, and her reaction. That part I feel like is too intimate to share with Hope. I would rather it just be something between Josie and me.

“Man, I am so soft for her. I slept the night in her room, watched her take care of the evil twin. Fuck Hope! I even cuddled with her. You know how much I hate pretty much any human contact.” I whine into the pillow. 

“Expect for Josie’s!” Hope sings gleefully.

When she sees I am facing down and still wallowing in my pain, she speaks up again, “This is a good thing though Park. Josie obviously likes you, and you like her.” Her reassurance is laced with confusion. She is probably wondering why I am acting this way.

I flip myself over, finally facing Hope. “You know how I am with my feelings. Plus, these are all new. I just can’t let my walls down just like that.” I furrow my brows, attempting to explain my confusing feelings.

Hope looks at me with understanding, but with a hint of pity and I don’t like it. “You gotta let other people in Pen. You can’t just not let anyone in. It’s not healthy.” Her voice is soft and soothing, and it is not a good fit for Hope. 

“First of all, you are not one to talk. Second, I opened up for you and MG.” When I say it out loud, it seems weak that I only have two real friends.

“You know it’s different with Josie,” Hope explains. “Look, would you rather attempt to open up to her and actually get something out of this, or just completely shut her out and make Josie think that you only want her for a fuck.”

I can feel my resolve slowly cracking. Becoming harder to hide in my real fears. I know I am not enough for Josie, and I am worried I will never be. If I can’t open up right away, she will get annoyed and leave. They always do. Josie may be the most patient person I have ever met, but I don’t know if she is patient enough for me. I just can’t deal with deciding to go for Josie, and taking it down this path with Josie rejecting me later down the road. I can already envision it inside my head.

“Well I already told her there will be a next time,” I inform Hope, and I see the proud grin spread across her face.

“Good.” She looks so smug. 

“Okay, I gotta get back to my room and prep myself for the rest of the day.” I groan as I get up from the bed. By prep, I mean the full makeup and clothes, but more importantly, prep for maybe seeing Josie again. It’s more of a mental prep than anything.

Hope and I say our lazy goodbyes as I head for the door. I guess Hope was kind of helpful. Kind of.

I wonder if Josie is having this exact conversation with Lizzie. All I know for sure is that it will be much worse and not nearly as helpful.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josie’s POV

I have never felt so good about myself than I do now. God, Penelope just makes me feel so wanted. Something that Raf could never do.

Penelope Park was my sexual awakening. Her perfect hair and cocky personality were what made me realize I was attracted to women, and ever since this realization in grade 6, she has been my secret crush.

Well not really secret because Lizzie knew right away. She surprising took it well, reassuring me that she was perfectly comfortable with me liking girls. She took that part well, just not the whole Penelope crush thing. She essentially banned me from going for her, not that I would have anyway. I never thought she was into me. She always seemed to be avoiding me. Seeming to hit on everything that moved as long as they were not named Josie Saltzman.

The whole talk with my crush on Penelope died down over the years, and I eventually think that Lizzie forgot about it or assumed it was never going to happen. So I am sure she was not pleasantly surprised when she walked into Penelope two seconds away from going down on me. Well, I was not pleased either that she interrupted that moment. Honestly, I don’t think I have hated her more than I did at the moment. If it was anyone other than Lizzie I probably would have burned their hair off.  
I am ripped out of my thoughts as I tune back into Lizzie’s rant about why I can’t go for Penelope. The word player, slut and bitch are being thrown around, and I can’t help but get angry at it. 

From what I have seen from being with Penelope alone is this gentleness and softness that I didn’t even know existed inside her. I know her reputation of the heart breaker and how she is strictly a hit it and quit it, but I can’t help but feel special at her mention of doing this again. I hope she just doesn’t say that to everyone she sleeps with. Maybe that is why she is called the heartbreaker, she gives people this false hope.

This insecurities come rushing back, and Lizzie’s words are not helping what so ever. Lizzie is acting like it meant nothing to Penelope and I am just another one of her playthings. At this point, I honestly don’t know what to believe. My self-consciousness is telling me that she just wanted a fuck. Just another notch on her belt, and a special one at that as she fucked the stuck up headmasters daughter. 

Another part of me is telling me to look at the signs. Look at how Penelope treated you, and how she stayed the night. I have never heard of Penelope staying the night with a hookup. Also, I don’t deem Penelope as the cuddly type, so I feel like what we did was special to her.

Eventually, I grow tired of hearing Lizzie rant, “Listen Liz, I really like Penelope, and from what I have seen, she likes me too. And even if she doesn't, it's my decision on who I want to pursue or not. It’s my choice to get hurt or not.” God, it feels good to stand up to her. It only happens every once in a while. Usually, I am very patient, especially with Lizzie, but my patience can only last so long.

“Okay, well don’t come crying to me when she throws you aside like you are nothing.” She spits. My anger boils. I am always there for her, even though she keeps making the same mistakes with boys. I gently warn her, but I never force her to not see them. And every time she comes home and cries on my shoulder about some guy that ghosted her.

“Well, when you want to start acting like a real sister again, I would love to tell you about how Penelope was.” How soft she was. How hot she was. How in control she was. How cute she was. And just how more open she was.

“I do not want to hear about how Penelope is good in bed.” She complains, dramatically cupping her hands over her ears. 

“God, I did not mean that.” I throw my hands in exhaustion, knowing there is no way to get to her now. She is running purely on emotion, and I just have to wait it out until she thinks more logically. God knows how long that will take.

She just grunts before storming off to the bathroom. She can be such a child.  
I lay on my bed thinking about Penelope. I can’t believe someone as hot as her would want me. It seems unfathomable to me honestly. It makes me a little skeptical of her intentions. I guess I will just have to be careful around her. Make sure she isn’t in it just to get laid. 

I can’t help it when my mind drifts to moments before Lizzie walked in. I still feel the tight coil in my lower stomach, begging for the tension to be released. I have never been this sexually frustrated in my whole life, and I know I am probably going to have to wait at least a day or two before I see her again, and even longer until we can do something. It is going to drive me mad. 

I have never felt so good in my life than I did last night. With all those months dating Raf, he was never able to get me over the edge, or maybe he just never really tried. In his defence, we really didn’t do anything until a few months in. We both agreed to wait. It wasn’t urgent and needy like it is with Penelope. I don’t understand that with all that time spent with Raf he couldn’t even get me there while Penelope did with ease. She really knows what she is doing. God her fingers are like magic. I wonder what her tongue would be like. God, I can’t believe Lizzie really had to ruin it, because I was seconds from finding out.

I think the second-best moment of my life was this morning when I made Penelope come. Firstly, making her come was a huge accomplishment for me, and I guess I can thank my curious phase of detailed research. Secondly, I made her come super quick. Probably around five minutes, which I think is really short. It did make me feel super proud that I made someone so composed as Penelope fall apart.

Also, eating a girl out is like 100 times better than giving a blow job. It’s less of a chore and I actually really enjoyed it. It was super hot seeing her bliss out and moan my name. I never really thought of myself as a sexual person, but God, it’s like Penelope turned on a switch inside me.

Drifting further in thoughts of Penelope, I am now thinking of what outfit to wear to class, for sure a skirt. I can tell how much she likes me in a skirt. Penelope Park may be a lot of things, but one thing she is not is subtle with her glances. I can’t complain though. 

God, I think I might just jump her bones next time I see her. I don’t know if I can wait days until next time with her. She is just so addicting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS! I really LOVE your feedback and it encourages me to write so keep to comments coming!!  
> Did you guys enjoy this chapter and did you like the Josie POV?
> 
> Would you like to see more Josie pov?
> 
> The next chapter will be pretty much pure smut and teasing.


	5. Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope decides to tease Josie in class.

Josie is the definition of a tease.

Of course, she decides to wear her shortest skirt today. I am sure that she has an idea what skirts do to me as she walks in sporting an unusual cocky smirk. Well, she didn’t start with it, but after seeing my reaction, I could see her expression change. I could actually feel my mouth fall slightly, and I am sure my eyes went dark with lust. I have just been so tired of attempting to hide my attraction towards her, but now that I don’t need to, I am not ashamed to be open about it.

My eyes rake over her legs, having absolutely no remorse for my blatancy. It makes it 10 times more difficult to hide my attraction as we haven't seen each other since the morning after the party. Two whole days of daydreaming about Josie and being restless at night, too flustered to sleep. I can only assume Josie is in the same boat, or perhaps worse off as our last interaction ended with me not being able to finish her off. Plus, I am my own room, giving me the privacy to release myself, and poor Jojo is living with her evil twin who I am sure never leaves the room. 

Well, I may or may not use this to my advantage. If Josie wants to tease, she better be prepared for some teasing back.

When Josie finally sits in her usual spot next to me, I give her a rare genuine smile. “Hey, Jojo.”

“Hi.” She cutely says, seeming a little flustered. Oh, she should just wait.

“So, how was your weekend? Enjoyed yourself at the party?” I tease, arching my eyebrow knowing that people around us can hear. 

She blushes instantly and breaks our eye contact. Very cute. She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear shyly before softly speaking, “It was pretty good.”

I can tell she is teasing because, by her moaning, I can tell she thought it was a lot better than pretty good. Penelope Park is not pretty good in bed, she is great in bed. “Huh, pretty good?” I question, and fake disappointment, “Well, if I remember correctly you seemed to be really enjoying yourself.” I smirk, knowing I will have her beat.

Before she can respond, the teacher speaks up, saying we are going to watch another documentary or movie or something, but I honestly tune out when I realize this gives me perfect cover to tease Josie. No one will be paying attention and the lights will be off. Perfect.

The movie starts, and of course, the class goes up in hushed whispers, no one paying attention except the star student Josie Saltzman, who doe eyes are focused on the screen in front of her. Well, they won’t be for long.

First, I make sure that no one can see us, and that no one is paying attention. I know Josie would kill me if we would get caught. Next, I watch her reaction as I slowly leaned my knee against hers. Either she doesn’t notice or she is just unbothered by it. 

I step it up, still intensely watching her reaction as I bring my hand to her knee. This causes her gaze to falter and a blush to creep up her cheeks. I want to make sure she is okay with this, so I lean over, brushing my lips against her ear and whispered, “Is this okay?”

Her only reaction is a swallow and a nod of her head. She closes her eyes to almost bracing herself or perhaps calm herself down. God, I love her reaction to my touches.

I move slowly and cautiously, gently rubbing my thumb against the top of her knee. I take a torturous pace, slowly sliding my hand up her smooth as silk thighs. I am halfway up her thigh when Josie obediently spreads her thighs for me, causing me to whisper, “good girl.” in her ear. Her intense lip bite doesn’t go unnoticed by me, and I can tell she is trying not to moan.

God, I am soaked and she isn’t even touching me. This is so hot. Seeing her trying to be quiet is ridiculously arousing, especially after I called her a good girl. Guess I found her kink. Praise.

I move my hand to the inside of her thigh, rubbing patterns and giving it a light squeeze. She now grips her desk, even in the darkness, I see her knuckles turning white. She is really flustered and it’s because of me. I can’t help but feel proud of it.

She attempts to seem like she is watching the movie, but I can tell she is not paying attention whatsoever. I, on the other hand, am not hiding it at all, just staring at Josie, watching her reactions.

She takes out a shaky breath as I move up even farther, going underneath her skirt. God, this is even better than my dreams. I can’t believe it’s really happening, it doesn’t even seem real. Too good to be true for sure.

I continue up her leg, fingers dancing across her skin and its intoxicating. Touching her drives me crazy. I eventually reach the sides of her underwear, and I can feel the heat radiating off from her. God, she must be crazy wet right now. I quiet groan leaves my throat, and I honestly have no idea how she is managing right now.

I know I can’t continue more because there is no way she can be quiet. In all honesty, I know that there is no way I can be quiet either. I reluctantly pull my hand away, and Josie gives me a look with a mix of confusion, frustration and disappointment. Her face is essentially begging me to continue. God, I love it when she begs.

I pretend to be engrossed by the movie, not even giving any attention to the adorably pouty Josie beside me. I can hear her shift restlessly beside me, obviously flustered and frustrated that I teased her this much.

I can see her pressing her thighs tightly together, attempting to get some sort of friction. When she is not rewarded it, she doesn’t hide her huff of anger. 

I know I am mean, but I just want to see what she will do. Plus, even though she may be pouting right now, I know she loves being teased. It’s all about the foreplay and lead up, which guys tend to never understand.

I see Josie's hand raise beside me, and I can’t help but smile. I really worked her up, didn’t I?

“Can I go to the bathroom.” She rasps, her voice shaky. Good.

The teacher allows her, so she slowly walking out of the door, her hips swaying. Oh, she for sure is teasing me now. Honestly, all my pride when I am around Josie seems to be non-existent anyway, so as soon as she leaves I get up to follow her, mumbling something about water or bathroom on my way out.

I stalk closely behind Josie, following her path towards the bathroom but she doesn’t seem to notice. When she finally gets to the bathroom, I wait a bit before going in after her.

When I walked in, I am greeted by Josie’s back, leaning over the sink. She looks like she is trying to calm herself down, it even looks like she splashed water on her face. God, she is so hot.

I Josie finally sees me in the mirror, but before I give her the chance to turn around, I press her into the sink. My front pressed flush against her back. Her ass feels so good against me that I can't help but push my hips further into her, bracketing her in with my hands.

Josie presses hard against me staring at me through the mirror. I press my lips to her neck, seeing the bruises left from days prior either covered or gone. I feel this animalistic need to make more. To claim her. To show everyone at this school exactly what we were doing in this bathroom. Especially Raf.

I start sucking hard, nipping slightly before soothing it with my tongue, all while maintaining eye contact with Josie in the mirror.

“You like to be teased baby?” I rasp in her ear, slightly pushing my hips into her.

“No.” She tried to lie, but her body is saying other things. 

“Really? I guess if you don’t want to tell the truth, I have to find out another way.” I say as I snake my hand up her thigh, going much faster than I was in the classroom. Now, anyone can walk in any minute, I have to be quick.

I rub my fingers against Josie’s panties, and I find them soaking wet, like soaking. I groan at the contact and Josie whimpers, bucking her hips for more contact.

“Feels like you loved being teased to me,” I whisper in her ear before moving my hand away from her core for the second time today. It’s a sweet torture for both of us. 

She whines, swiftly turning around and locking her lips with mine. The kiss is needy, demanding for more. Our tongues collide and our breaths become short. I slide by hands underneath her skirt, grabbing her perfect ass to pull her more flush against me. 

I walk her back into a stall, knowing I can’t do much to her unless we have a bit of privacy. I quickly shut the door, and push her against it. Josie wraps one of her legs around my waist, looking for more contact. I hold her leg to my hip, slowly rocking myself into her as we make out.

Her breathing becomes shorter and quicker, and her grip on me tightens. As fun as it would be to see if she could come from this little contact, we don’t have the time and I am dying to taste her. 

I kiss down her neck, pulling the collar of her shirt down so I can reach her collarbone. I place little kisses there, it is very gentle, something that I am not used to.

I move back up to her mouth, giving a sweet kiss before descending downward, putting my knees on the dirty floor. Well, it’s worth it. Josie is worth it.

“Can I taste you, Jojo?” I ask as I look up at her with hooded eyelids. Her eyes are hooded as well, and dark. God, she wants this almost as much as I do.

She just frantically nods her head, and usually I would ask her to say it. I want to hear her beg but when she tangles her fingers in my hair, slightly directing me where she wants me to go, its enough for me. More than enough actually.

I feel like poor Jojo has been teased enough, so I just go right for it, taking off her underwear.

This is my first time fully seeing Josie and my mouth waters at the sight. Her wetness coats her thighs, so ready for me. “You are so beautiful.” I slip out, not really wanting to say it out loud because it is way too soft. Way too intimate.

Forgetting what I said, I drive in, giving a broad stroke to her center, tasting her truly for the first time. We both moan because god she tastes so sweet and because I am great with my tongue. I want to enjoy this, but Josie has been so patient with all the teasing, I know it is only fair to get her off quick. I raise one of her legs onto my shoulders so I can reach her better. 

My tongue easily finds her clit, rotating between circling it and sucking on it. Josie is a little too loud with her moans causing me to warn her to “be quiet baby.” 

She just bites her lip harder, attempting to stop the noises. Her body reactions are equally as loud as she rocks into my face, bucking in pleasure.

I tease my tongue around her entrance before pushing it in, wanting to feel what Josie feels like on the inside. So soft and wet. I pump my tongue in and out of her, allowing her to essentially ride my face. God, that would be so hot, her riding my face. Next time.

I replace my tongue with my fingers, curling them and finding that perfect spot. I start a fast pace but I keep my movements soft, not rough. My mouth sucks on her clit, giving her the perfect simulation. She tugs tightly on my hair and her legs tense. She is close. I double my efforts and Josie no longer can be quiet so she puts her hand over her own mouth, and it sends heat straight to my core. 

Seconds later she is coming, and I make sure I watch her when she does. I feel her contract against my fingers, and her face when she comes in beautiful. Her soft features are twisted in pleasure and her eyes are tightly closed, she looks gorgeous. I find it unsettling that when she comes, not only do I find it extremely hot, but also beautiful and cute. The feelings are just too romantic. I let her ride out her orgasm, slowing pumping my fingers. 

The whole time I clean her up, I am just thinking, I shouldn't feel this way. It has become obvious to me that it isn’t just sex. These feelings I am not used to. They make me uncomfortable and feel out of control. I am not surprised when I use my defence mechanism of pure lust as I quickly stand and turn her around. Once again pressing my front to her back. I know that I will feel less of these mushy feelings if I can’t see her cute little face.

I quickly pull her skirt up her to her waist, giving me more access. Now I can see her perfect ass in all of its glory. God, she is so perfect. I use my legs to spread her wider. I don't give her much warning before I slide my fingers into her. I am going to fuck her senseless. 

I set a rough and fast pace, breathing heavily into her ear. I find that spot once again and hit it every time with each thrust. I start using my hips for more power, and my mind instantly goes to fucking Josie with a strap on. My mind almost completely short circuits at the idea. There are so many things I want to do to her. I don’t think I will ever get bored.

My other hand grabs her hip, pulling her harder back into me. Josie is much louder than she was before, forcing me to remove my hand from her hip to cover her mouth, which is ridiculously hot to me and Josie must feel the same as she whimpers into my hand. 

I can tell she is close again as her moans get even louder against my hand. I attack her neck with soft little pecks to encourage her to go over the edge. Once again, it is too sweet. 

Josie comes again, her whole body tensing up against me. I left her lean her weight against me, knowing she probably can’t hold herself up. 

Once her breathing gets back to normal, I move away, allowing her to face me again. Her lips meet mine in a bruising kiss, and I am perplexed that I am the one to slow it down. Making it way more soft and gentle. By the end of the kiss, I am pouring so much care and affection into the kiss, that I have to pull away. Josie gives me one last peck on the lips before she walks out of the stall and towards the sink. She washes her hands and adjusts her clothes in the mirror, leaving herself commando and the thought of her going around bare like that for the rest of the day makes me want to fuck her against the stall again. 

And just like nothing has happened, Josie turns and gives me her most innocent smile before walking out of the bathroom, leaving me breathless and slightly disappointed. I don’t know why I am disappointed. I guess I wanted her to stay longer, kiss more and maybe talk. God, I am so needy for her attention it is crazy. 

Josie Saltzman is going to be the reason I am put in a madhouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Did you like it? I really depend on your comments! Please comment what you think,


	6. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope faces an obstacle when it comes to keeping Josie. Will she open up?
> 
> TONSSSSSS OF FLUFF!!

The rest of the day is long and frustrating, mostly because I don’t see Josie much but I can’t stop thinking about her. Although it was my plan to tease her, it looks like I lost because she got to come twice and I got to see perhaps the hottest and sexiest thing without relieving the building tension inside of me.

Josie 1. Penelope 0.

When classes are finally over, I lay in my room, and I guess Josie makes me have no self-control because I am touching myself in a matter of seconds. I come with Josie's name on my lips, and I don’t even feel ashamed. 

I am sitting in my bed bored, debating on going to see MG or Hope when I realize something. I don’t have Josie’s number. We have had our tongues inside each other and yet, we do not have each other's phone numbers. 

Before I can even think straight, I speed walking to Josie’s room. I quickly knock on the door and sadly I am met with the wrong twin’s annoyed face. I don’t even give her a second to speak before I look around her shoulder attempting to find Josie. Funny that Lizzie answers the door, assuming that it is for her.

I find Josie sitting on her bed reading a book that I can’t quite make out. A warm smile graces my face, and I just can’t help but feel warmness inside of me. Josie is just too cute.

Lizzie looks like she is going to say some snarky remark but before I even let her get the chance, I push past her and walk towards Josie.

“Hey Jojo,” I say and I am not amused that I sound kind of breathless. Really Penelope?

Lizzie mumbles something that has the words Satan and rude in it but I pay no attention. I am too focused on my Josie. Well, she really isn’t mine, but you know what I mean.

Josie looks up from her book, she looks pleased to see me but more confused than anything.

She gives me a shy hi and all I want to do is kiss her forehead. She really is killing me.

I look back at Lizzie, giving her daggers to leave the room but she just stares back at me, challenging me, and honestly, I just don’t want to ruin my mood with a Lizzie fight. Not worth it anymore.

I huff in annoyance before reaching my hand out for Josie asking her to give me her phone. She reluctantly hands over her phone, and I quickly go into iMessage. Typing in my number is like second nature to me because I have given it out so many times, but the contact I put is different. 

I change it to Pen, which I really don’t allow anyone to call me but Josie is an exception. I go to include a heart but I feel like that is too much too soon. Or maybe it is just too honest and telling, which I may or may not be too afraid to share just yet. Or ever. I settle with the safer option of the fire emoji and the smirking face.

I type a text message, Want to come back to my room?

To be honest, I am too big of a coward to ask out loud. Fear of rejection. But also, I know if I asked Josie when Lizzie was around, Lizzie would come up with some excuse as to why Josie was busy or something.

With an uncharacteristic nervous smile, I hand the phone back to Josie. When she reads the message she fashions an adorable smile. God, I really need her alone. 

She then looks back at her phone, thinking for a second before typing a response. I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, and I am too eager to check it. I whip it out to see her response.

First, of course, you would use those emojis next to your name. Second, sure and you could have just asked, not text.

I smirk at the message and slide my phone back into my pocket. I stick out my hand to Josie, offering her to get up.

She glances over at Lizzie, before grabbing my hand, and I can’t help the feeling of comfortableness of Josie’s hand in mine. 

‘Lizzie, I am going with Penelope for a bit.” She softly says like she is walking on eggshells, just waiting for Lizzie to snap. 

“Whatever,” Lizzie grumbles, surprising me and Josie that she didn’t make a bigger deal.

With Josie’s hand still in mine, we head for the door, only to be interrupted by another knock. Josie and I drop our hands as she reaches for the door. 

The intruder reveals himself as Landon, Hope’s ex. I have met him multiple times when he was dating Hope. He treated her well, but he was just incredibly boring. It’s not that I don’t like him, it’s that I feel indifferent towards him.

He looks nervous and confused that I am here with Josie. He broke out of his trance when Lizzie groans in disgust. “Is there a portal behind that door to the underworld or something.”

I just roll my eyes, but Landon looks somewhat rattled by Lizzie. If I thought he looked nervous before, now he must be sweating buckets. What is wrong with the kid.  
“Uhhhh, I was wondering if I could talk to Josie. Alone.” 

No. No way in hell. Fucking nope. 

I am instantly reminded of Hope telling me something about Landon liking Josie. At first, I thought nothing of it because Josie was with Raf, and I thought she was straight. But now I feel a little threatened and Penelope Park does not like sharing.

I am sure that my death glare is not helping Landons with her nerves, but I really don’t give a shit. It crosses my mind to cast a spell on him that will make him piss his pants. Ruin his chances with her. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Josie looking confused, obviously oblivious to the fact that a lot of people are pining over her. I want to tell her no, but who am I to say that? Are we dating? No. Are we exclusive? No. Are we even serious? Well, I am but she doesn’t know that.

God, I am trying my best of opening up as quickly as I can but it’s not quick enough. Landon can offer her more than I can. A relationship. Someone who doesn’t have commitment issues. The safe choice.

I like to think I know Josie, and she always goes with the safe choice. I am not that. Landon is.

She looks over at me, looking for my permission. I can’t control her. I won’t do that no matter how much I want her to tell Landon to fuck off. Josie can do what she wants, and by her look, it is to go talk to him. 

I just give her a subtle nod of my head. She squeezes my shoulder, “I will come to your room after.” She reassured me, making sure I don’t think she is ditching me.

Well, she has no idea what that conversation is going to be about, so I am sure she is thinking it’s going to be something about monsters. Little does she know stupid Landon is going to try to get with her. God, if he tries to kiss her I might just kill him.

“Okay, just text me,” I reply, trying to control my need to show Landon that I am the alpha. God, I feel like one of the brainless werewolves. I want to kiss Josie, show Landon to back the hell off, but I know Josie would not like that. She is not my possession so I won’t treat her as such.

I quickly leave the room, heading straight to Hope's room. This is maybe the closest I have been to losing control. I feel angry, sad and nervous. All things that I don’t like to feel and are not used to feeling, well openly. 

I don’t even knock on the tribrids door, I just swing it open. Hope, being her heroic self, jumps to action, looking ready to rip the head off anything. Usually, I would laugh and tease her but I am not in the mood to find anything funny. 

I pace around her room, and she gives me a questioning look.

“Okay, so I was in Josie’s room going to get her number. I asked her to come back to my room and she said yes, but before we could leave your shithead ex showed up.” I rant, speaking a mile a minute.

“Landon?” She questions.

I am already pissed, so I am not ready to deal with stupid questions. 

“Yes, of course fucking Landon,” I growl, causing her to put her hands up in defence. She knows better than trying to fight with me when I am mad.

“And I know that bastard is going to tell Josie he likes her.” I stop walking, staring at Hope. God, why did they have to break up? 

“Well, you don’t know that for sure.” She says, trying to make me feel better.

“Yes, I do! I have never seen someone so nervous. It was so obvious he may as well have written ‘I am going to ask you out’ with Sharpie on his forehead.” I spit, waving my hands around.

“Okay, well that doesn’t mean Josie likes him back. From what you told me, she seems pretty interested in you.” She tries to calm me down, and in all honesty, it is working. Only a little bit though.

“That’s what I thought. We even fucked in the school bathroom today.” My voice is calmer now.

Hope raises an eyebrow at that, shocked by the public sex. I don’t miss the way Hope’s face reddens a bit when I tell her.

“Okay, I-.” She fumbles before continuing, “Then you guys are not just a one-time thing then. Josie probably knows that.” She explains, regaining back her confidence.

“Well, I have never done anything or said anything to make her believe that it isn’t just sex.” God, why am I so stupid. Saying little things that may mean a lot to me will easily get passed Josie. She didn’t even have an idea that Landon was two seconds away from asking her out.

“Then talk to her,” Hope says as if it is the easiest thing.  
I huff in annoyance. Mostly at myself for not being comfortable with communicating or relationships. I don’t know what I really want. All I know is I don’t want Josie near Landon romantically, or near anyone in that sense.

“She’s going to pick Landon,” I mumble to myself, but Hope hears. Damned tribrid hearing. 

Hope just raises a questioning brow at me, looking at me like I lost my mind.

“He is a safe option. She is used to dating guys, and he can be open about his feelings, I can’t. He can offer her a real relationship, I can’t” My voice is vulnerable, and I really hate it.

“Bullshit.” Hope scoffs, looking annoyed by me. “Penelope, you are choosing to not give her a real relationship. You are choosing to not be open. Believe me, I know it’s hard but it’s not impossible. If you really feel something for Josie, she should be worth the effort.” 

Of course, I know she is right. And of course, Josie is worth the effort. It’s just, I am not used to putting myself out there. Being vulnerable. 

I just stay silent and plop myself on her bed, lying down and staring at the ceiling. I start to lose my patience when it has been 5 minutes since I have been here, not that I have been counting or checking my phone every 2 seconds.

Hope senses my anger again and just like a perfect friend, puts on soothing music and doesn’t talk. She knows that sometimes I need to just chill, and talking doesn’t usually help. God, I could really use a joint right now. 

It feels like hours but I know it’s just another 5 minutes until my phone finally buzzes. I almost launch myself 10 feet in the air when I hear that sound. I frantically grab my phone and type in my passcode.

All Josie’s message says is What is your room number.

Before even responding, I tell Hope she texted and bolt out of her room. I don’t want Josie thinking I have to crawl to Hope’s room for help. 

I open the room to my door and make sure everything looks clean. It has to look good for Josie. 

I quickly texted Josie my room number and patiently wait. I try to make myself look as natural as possible, trying to calm myself down.

When I hear a knocking on my door, I have to stop myself from essentially sprinting to the door. I walk over and open it to find Josie’s flushed face and I have no idea if that is a good sign or a bad sign.  
Is it flushed because she just had a really awkward conversation, or can Landon make her blush as I do? I really hope it’s not the ladder. 

I gesture her to come in. I probably look like a nervous wreck. I don’t seem to be able to hide my emotions when I am around Josie. 

I decided to cut to the chase, not wanting to pretend as nothing happened. “What did Landon want?” It takes everything out of me to not call him some horrible name, and I know that I couldn’t help that jealous undertone in my voice.

Josie doesn’t make eye contact with me, and right then and there I know I am in trouble. She looks guilty. “Umm, he kinda asked me out on a date.” She fiddles with her fingers, looking for a distraction.

I am glad she is not looking at my face because there is no way I am hiding the hurt, disappointment and anger on my face. “And what did you say?” I ask, trying my best to not sound whiny and hurt, but who am I kidding.

She finally looks up at my face, and I try my best to hide my emotions but I can tell it doesn’t work by Josie’s reaction. She looks even more guilty and her eyes soften. God, this moment is just making me really uncomfortable. I am just really out of my element. 

“I said I would think about it.” She pauses for a bit, working up the courage to say the next part, “I wanted to ask you.” 

I don’t know how to take that. Either she feels obligated to tell me and wants to go, or she is using it as a way for her to find out if we are exclusive or not. Well, I am not telling Josie what she can and can’t go for. I am not going to force Josie to be with me. She will be with me if she wants to. Josie doesn’t get to make her own choices enough based on what she wants, and she should start. Maybe this will help her.

“Well, I am not going to tell you what to do or who you can or can’t go out with. It is ultimately your choice. Do what you want.” I say in a serious tone. I know if I say it cooly and nonchalantly she will think I don’t care about us. I want to tell her I do but I can’t. In a perfect world, I would tell her that I wouldn’t want her to go, but it is her choice. 

She just nods her head, “Thank you for being so understanding.” She softly says, and I can’t tell if I see the disappointment in her face or not.

Okay. Now, this is too much. Change the subject, please. 

“Want to watch a movie?” I raise my eyebrow at her, trying to give her my signature smirk but it falls short. Just the thought of Josie going on a date with someone else makes me sick to my stomach. 

Either Josie doesn’t notice or just is too kind to say anything as she just nods her head and lays on my bed.

I grab my laptop and again let Josie pick a movie. We lie close together but we aren’t touching. It’s like we have this weird tension in the room, and not the kind I am used to with her. I really don’t like it at all. In fact, I hate it.

We are 10 minutes through the movie, but I am paying no attention to it. My mind is just running with thoughts of Josie and me, and also Josie and Landon. I decide at this point that I want to say something to Josie, and how I don’t want her to go on that stupid date. I am very ashamed to say it takes 40 more minutes for me to actually work up the courage to make any type of move. 

I am sure Josie can tell I am nervous, my eyes are wide and I am constantly running my hands through my hair. I am beyond stressed. I don’t think I have ever done something so scary in my life and I have been in multiple near-death experiences helping Hope fight supernatural shit. 

Fuck it. It is now or never.

I pause the movie, earning a very cute confused look from Josie, her bottom lip sticking out more than usual. 

I pull her into a gentle kiss, probably the most gentle kiss we have shared or I have ever given out. I attempt to pour my feelings into the kiss, putting in as much passion as I can.

I can’t help but sigh into Josie’s mouth when she follows with the same intensity. I push the laptop off our laps, and crawl on top of Josie, never breaking the kiss. Now our tongues softly touch each other, and I put most of my body weight on to Josie. Not in a sexual way but in a more intimate way.

I know that I am trying to avoid saying the words because God I hate talking about feelings. I know that even if I am trying to say everything I want to in this kiss, I know it will not be better than words. Words will create black and white, and maybe that is why I am so scared of them. There will be no different ways to interpret my words. She will know exactly how I feel. 

I nuzzle my head into her warm neck, knowing this will be so much easier if I don’t need to see her face, it always just makes this so much more difficult. Yes, I Penelope Park am intimidated by Josie Saltzman’s beautiful, gorgeous and adorable face.

I take a few nerve-wracking breaths, trying to get myself to be brave. I can totally do this right? What is the worst that can happen? I don’t let myself start the list because I know if I do, I will never work up the courage.

I am sure Josie can feel my heart rate at a million miles a minute because she rubs gentle patterns into my back. Yep, I totally can’t give this feeling up. These feelings of safety, being content and just being held in Josie’s arms. As stupid and cliche as it sounds, it feels like home.

“I don’t want you to go on that date with him. Or anyone.” I mumble into Josie’s neck. My voice sounds nothing like me. It sounds like a vulnerable weak little girl.

Josie’s movements on my back stop for a second, causing me to internally panic. Fuck, I messed this up. Well, this is why I can’t have nice things and should never open up to people because no one wants me like that. God, I feel so stu-

My thoughts are cut off my Josie gripping on to be tightly, moving one of her hands to play with my hair. God, it feels so good, almost as good as sex with her. I have never really been held like this before, and now I know why people love it. I can’t help but let out a content sigh into her neck, loving all this affection and tenderness she is giving me.

“Then I won’t,” Josie whispers to me. 

I smile against her skin, and place a soft kiss on her pulse point, making sure to linger to feel that her heart rate is just as erratic as mine, which it is. I am a little proud of that.

Eventually, I turn in Josie’s arms and pull that laptop back on her lap. I cling off of Josie’s side, putting my head in her chest as I press play to continue the movie. She continues to play with my hair, running her fingers through it and lightly scratching at my scalp. This is the legit definition of soft, but for once I don’t feel like it is too much. It is just enough, it is perfect. 

I don’t know how long into the movie I last, but I soon fall asleep on Josie’s chest. It does not shock me that my dream is filled with Josie, but instead of it being sexual, it is only intimate. Soft kisses, cuddles and movie nights. I could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Excited for your comments. This chapter is super super fluffy! Is it too much fluff? Tell me what you think!
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! give suggestions too!


	7. Naps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly smut and a bit of jealous Penelope

I slowly wake up from probably my most comfortable nap ever. I am surrounded by warmth and once I come to my senses, I realize that the warmth is Josie. We are in almost the exact same position we fell asleep in. My head is still on her chest, but instead of her hands being in my hair, they are wrapped around my body, holding me close to her. Our legs are intertwined and the laptop is laying open beside us. Josie must have fallen asleep during the movie too.

I lazily lift my head to find Josie sleeping peacefully and it’s a very cute sight. I let myself drift back into sleep because this is all just too comfortable and I don’t want it to end.

The next time I wake up is because of Josie. She shifts underneath me and I can tell her breathing is hard and sporadic. Her face is no longer calm but instead strained. 

Do I wake her? Is she having a bad dream? Maybe she is having a really good one.

Either way, I know Josie will probably be embarrassed so I decide on waking her up. When I slowly lift myself off of her, she tightens her grip on my leaving me locked in place. She lets out a soft whimper and it does not help at all in deciphering what type of dream it is. 

It’s getting worse and I know I should really try to get her up before it escalates. 

“Jojo,” I say softly, not wanting to startle her.

She slowly shifts out of her dream, her eyes flutter open and they are a darker shade of brown. Instantly her face is painted with the familiar pink and that’s all the evidence I need to decide that it for sure is a sex dream.

“Have a nice dream?” I ask, my voice raspy from sleep.

She shifts underneath me, just like she did in her dream. Her eyes avoid mine but I see a small smile creeping up on her lips. 

She eventually just nods her head, and I smirk at how well I can read her.

“So,” I raise off her chest to fully put my body on top of hers, trapping her. “What was the dream about.” I raise a teasing eyebrow.

Josie, looking a lot more confident finally makes eye contact and she doesn’t miss a beat when she says “You.” 

My heart feels like it misses a beat when that word leaves her lips. My heart just can’t take the tenderness and the potential of sex.

“Hmmm. And what was I doing in this dream.” I continue to push, hoping she will tell be all about her sex dream. I want to know what she fantasizes about. What she wants. 

Josie looks like she is on the fence of telling me or not, so I push her over by sliding one of my thighs between her legs, putting slight pressure on her core. 

Her eyes flutter closed at the contact, but she quickly regains her composure, trying to look unbothered. 

“Does waking up always get you horny.” She says, referring to the morning after the party as well.

“Only for you.” Yeah, that is too soft and I can tell Josie is taken back by my response. “But don’t try to change the subject,” I respond, but honestly I am a hypocrite myself because now what I am trying to do is change the subject off of my sweet words.

She takes a deep breath before starting, “Well...We were in an empty classroom.” 

I raise my eyebrows suggestively and I have this huge grin on my face, very excited to hear Josie talk dirty. I love it when I talk and she merely blushes, I can’t imagine her doing to talking. She already has me soaking wet and all she said was a classroom. 

“And we were making out. And then you bent me over the desk.” She draws it out, and I can’t help but let out an appreciative groan at her description of her dream. 

I subconsciously rock lightly and slowly into Josie, and I don’t notice until she lets out a small gasp.

“Then what.” My voice is lust-filled and raspy. I don’t even recognize it.

Josie looks dishevelled, she finds herself after a few moments and a few slow rocks of my hips.

“You pulled my underwear down and pulled up my skirt.” She closes her eyes as I add more power to my thrusts. I just watch intently above her, groaning at times where her thigh adds delicious pressure to my core.

She gulps before continuing, “Then you slide into me.” Her sentence is broken up by moans as I can’t help but buck my hips harder into her. It is like a reflex.

Her hands find purchase on my ass, encouraging me to continue thrusting. 

Both of our breaths are laboured, making it harder for her to continue with the story. “And you started out slow. Then it got fast.”   
Fuck this.

I slip one of my hands down her waistband, and when I find no underwear from when she took it off earlier today, I let out a loud groan. 

She is soaking wet and I know I am matching her. I circle the bundle of nerves, getting breathy little whimpers and moans from Josie in return. 

She reciprocates by putting her hand down my pants, mimicking my movements on her. I almost fall completely on top of her when she does this. 

Both of our movements are sloppy and rushed, distracted by the pleasure the other is giving us. We both don’t care about being quiet and for one of the first times, we can be as loud as we want. 

Let me tell you, Josie is loud, which is super super hot. However, I am not proud to say I am louder than she is, even though I never used to be. 

We never enter each other, just collect wetness from our entrances and continue to make lazy circles around our clits. 

It surprises me when I come first because Josie is the one who had a wet dream. When I come I let all my weight fall on to Josie, stopping my own movements. I buck into her hand and bury my face into her neck. Everything twitches and I swear I lose my vision for a millisecond. 

I say the only thing I can think of. 

“Fuck”. I breathly say in Josie’s ear when I finally come down from the high. This earns a chuckle from Josie as she removes her hand out of my ruined underwear. 

Oh yeah, my hand is still down her skirt and she hasn’t gotten off yet. Before moving my hand, I press my lips to the shell of Josie’s ear and whisper “Do you want to ride my face?” 

Josie tenses underneath me and lets out her signature whimper. “Please?” She begs. She fucking begs without me asking. God, no one on earth is hotter than Josie Saltzman. 

I quickly slide my hand out her skirt, only to pull it completely off. I take her shirt and bra off in record time, eager to taste her.

I flip us over, now with a completely naked Josie on top of me. I was worried when I asked she would be self-conscious because it really is an up-close and personal position, but when I look into her eyes, all I see is lust and confidence. I am glad she can feel confident around me because Jojo doesn’t strike me as a confident person.  
I guide her to walk up to my face, I make sure that her knees are on either side of my face. My view is amazing. I get to see her soaking wet for me and all pink and pretty. I don’t waste time as I wrap my arms around her thighs, pulling her down slightly so I can reach her.

I go straight for her clit, using my tongue to make tight circles around the already enlarged bundle of nerves. 

Her moans become louder, and her hips grind into my face. When she nears her orgasm, she essentially is fucking herself against my face and it is the hottest thing. When I know she is close, I make sure to enter her entrance, so I can taste as much of her as possible. She clenches around my tongue and comes with my name on her lips. I love it when she says my name.

I think Josie riding my face is my favourite thing. I clean her up, but I tease her, seeing is she would be able to go for round two. When her hips buck into me when my nose brushes her clit I know she can handle it. 

It is only after her fourth orgasm when Josie decides she is too sensitive and rolls off of me. We both are breathing heavily just staring at the ceiling. 

We lay in comfortable silence for a while, just listening to each other’s breath.

Josie is the first to speak up, “Is sex with girls always this good.”

I can’t help but feel disappointed at the comment. Does she want to have sex with other women? Does she want to explore her sexuality more? Am I holding her back?

Me, being used to coming up with witty comebacks don’t have to think hard to respond, “Nah, it’s just me.” I wink and Josie gives me a toothy smile and a little giggle. 

Josie then puts her clothes back on, and I just watch from my bed, amazed by her body. She is so lean, but that’s something that you would never guess. Other than playing football, Josie doesn’t really work out. At least I thought she didn’t.

Once she is fully dressed she looks at me expectantly, wondering what’s next. I pull my laptop back on my lap and tap the spot next to me.

Josie crawls back on the bed, settling right beside me. She cuddles into my side and again I am amazed how someone can be so adorable and incredibly sexy at the same time.

I feel so content that I can’t help but place a soft kiss on her forehead. 

We settle on The Office, and only get through 10 minutes before there a knock on my door. Too lazy to get up, I just shout, “Who is it?”

“Hope.” She yells back in return.

I turn to Josie and whisper, “Want me to let her in?” 

She nods her head, “I can leave if you guys want to talk.” For once with Josie, I can’t read her expression.

“No, you can stay.” I sweetly whisper back, making Josie smile. 

I know Josie and Hope kind of grew up together. They get along fine, it’s just for some reason Lizzie hates Hope. It’s probably because she is jealous of Alaric and Hope’s relationship. I know I want Josie in my life, and Hope is a big part of mine, so I would be very happy if they got closer.

“Come in,” I yell back.

“Okay, I was just checking in on how things with..” Hope stops mid-sentence when she spots Josie lying next to me in bed.

She gives me an apologetic look for probably intruding and essentially telling Josie that I talk about her to Hope.

“Hey, Josie.” Hope gives an awkward nod, standing in the middle of the room, unsure what to do.

“Hey, Hope.” Josie offers a way less awkward greeting. 

“Want to come watch The Office?” Josie asks. Does she not like to be alone with me? Is she just being polite? Or does she want to get closer to my friends? 

I really don’t know and it freaks me out a little. I dislike being unsure.

Hope looks at me, waiting for my permission and when I give a subtle nod, she heads over to the bed with a goofy smile. It’s almost charming. 

Josie pats the spot next to her, and again I don’t know to feel insulted or glad. I know that Hope had a crush on Josie, but did Josie ever have a crush on her?

Hope, probably seeing my confusion, sits next to Josie at a respectful distance. Good. 

I bet Hope will be horrified to find out that she is probably sitting right where we had sex. 

Once the tv show starts we fall into light conversation. It’s easy and smooth. Josie and Hope seemed to have lost all the awkwardness and I feel relieved but a little nervous with how well they are hitting it off.

I feel completely reassured when Josie’s eyes start shutting. She rests her head on my shoulder, and I can tell by her deep breathing she is knocked out.

Hope offers me a warm smile when she sees Josie’s position. 

“She’s really passed out.” Hope points out, looking at Josie’s cute sleeping face. I wonder if Hope thinks it cute. I can tell by her little smile that she does. Well, time to mark my territory once again. 

“Well, 4 consecutive orgasms will do that to you.” I nonchalantly say as I pretend to keep my focus on the tv. 

From the corner of my eye, I see Hope’s mouth drop. She chuckles before quietly saying “Jesus Christ.”

“Jesus Christ is right,” I say proudly.

I want the whole world to know that I, Penelope Park make Josie Saltzman come. Multiple times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK! 
> 
> I ABSOLUTELY LIVE FOR YOUR COMMENTS SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING.
> 
> Any suggestions for future chapters?


	8. The Calm before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Possessive Penelope with a mix of smut and fluff.
> 
> Does Josie see a future?

Josie’s POV

Penelope is just… amazing. I feel like I truly never had sex before her. She changed everything. Sex was not often on my mind, but ever since Penelope, it is all I can think about. 

When I see her, my whole body reacts, almost preparing itself for what is to come, or what I hope is to come. There is no doubt that I am extremely attracted to her, but do I have some intimate and romantic connection with her? Honestly, I don't know.

I know how Penelope usually is, so I try my best not to feel that type of connection but she is making it very difficult. Her uncharacteristic softness with me drives me to believe that maybe she wants this connection too. 

Today, when she confessed to me that she didn’t want me to go on a date with Landon I couldn’t help but feel hope. Hope that this meant as much to her as it does to me. Even though what she said made me believe that she wants something exclusive, we never agreed that she had to be. Penelope does not seem like a one-person kind of girl, so I honestly wasn’t shocked when we didn’t discuss her half of the deal.

I am not saying that she will hook up with other people, but it’s not like we officially said it’s not allowed. Maybe I should have said something, like that I didn’t want her to go on dates either, but I don’t want to scare her off. I really like what is happening right now, and I wouldn’t be happy if it ended. 

I don’t know how this will continue forward because Penelope Park doesn’t date. If she doesn’t date then essentially this is going nowhere, and honestly, that scares me a bit. I like what is happening at the moment, but is there a real future? Probably not.

Sure, maybe her asking me to not see other people can be her way of wanting a future but doubt it. I deem Penelope as someone who doesn’t like sharing so I am assuming that what that is about, not about wanting more. Wanting more intimacy or closeness. I think both of us don’t want this to end, so she is prolonging it by not allowing me to see other people. Well, I wouldn’t say not allowing me because I choose not to, and honestly, I don’t want to.

I really wish I could talk to Lizzie about it, but when it is anything involving Penelope, it just gets her mad. I do really need someone to talk to, and although I talk to MG about it at times, he’s not much of a help. My other option is Hope, but we just started talking again, and she is closer to Pen anyways, so I feel like anything I would say to her would just relay straight back to Penelope. 

I just feel a little lost. How Penelope acts around me is shocking, and I don’t know which is the real her. I trust that it is the slide I see because it’s so much kinder, caring and vulnerable. Even when I was holding her, I couldn’t believe it. Penelope Park being held was something that never crossed my mind, let alone by me. Holding her and taking care of her was one of the best feelings I have felt in a while. I do really enjoy taking care of people, so when it’s someone who doesn’t seem to allow anyone else to be this intimate with them, I can’t help but feel special. I think Penelope tries desperately to hide this need for physical touch and intimacy, but hopefully, I can make her more comfortable to express this need.

Today, when I woke up after falling asleep while watching The Office with Hope and Penelope, Hope was passed out with her head resting on my shoulder. It was cute to see her so cuddly. On my other side, Penelope looked to be lost in thought, her eyebrows furrowed. When she seemed to notice I was awake, she gave me a toothy smile that made her look like a turtle. It’s weird to think that I would see Penelope looking so adorable. 

When she sees that Hope is resting on me, her smile turns into a scowl and I want to roll my eyes in response. This is just more evidence that Penelope Park does not like sharing. 

“Are you really jealous of your friend sleeping on my shoulder?” I tease, wanting to see if Penelope will actually admit it.

“No.” She pouts, giving my signature pouty puppy look a run from its money. 

“Really? So you wouldn’t mind if Hope and I cuddled right now?” I raise my eyebrow at her, challenging her.

“Not at all.” She counters, trying her best to look unbothered by failing miserably. 

“Oh? So you wouldn’t care to that I had a huge crush on Hope when I was younger?” That one isn’t a lie. I really did a huge crush on Hope but who can blame me. It was shortly after Penelope Park made me realize I liked women. The crush was brief of course and was nothing more than a little school girl crush. Nothing serious, and I don’t feel anything now. Sure Hope is hot, but I am not interested. I seem to be only interested in Penelope.

I notice when I say the crush thing, Penelope absolutely tenses up. She doesn’t try to look unfazed as her face scrunches and her mouth opens to say something but quickly closes. She for sure is bothered by it and I can’t help but count it as a win. I made her jealous.

“Really?” Her usual confident voice sounds a little self-conscious and I can’t help but feel bad afterwards. She obviously feels intimidated by the fact that I had a crush on her best friend, but it wasn’t mutual and of course, nothing would or will ever happen. 

“Yes, but I was a kid.” I try to reassure her, but it doesn’t look like it works. Why is she so worked up over a simple little crush?

She just nods her head, looking distant. Looking like the old Penelope. I really don’t like it and I want to do anything to see the goofy and open Penelope again.

I lean forward, not caring that it will probably jostle Hope and place a soft peck to Penelope's lips. When I pull back, I notice that she seems a little better but not fully. 

This time, I gently move Hope off my shoulder to rest her head on the pillow. She grumbles at the movement but I pay no attention. Instead, I fully turn towards Penelope and crawl on top of her. I know it’s risky with Hope right next to us but I don’t plan on taking it further than just kissing.

I look down at Penelope who is looking so deep in my eyes that I can’t help but gently caress her cheek. I bring my thumb to her perfect lip, gently rubbing my thumb along it. It is a very intimate gesture and honestly, I am scared that she will reject it. When she continues to look at me with such intensity, I go for the kiss. I press our lips together and we move in sync. 

This kiss is one of our best yet, not because it is lust-filled or passionate, but because it just feels comfortable. It’s kissing for just the need to kiss. It’s not some foreplay for more. It’s just a kiss and it’s one of the best ones I have ever had. 

Our lips move slowly, and her tongue runs along mine, asking for entrance, which I instantly grant. Our tongues massage each other, exploring in ways it never has before.

When Hope lets another sleep-filled groan, I know it’s probably best to stop. I sadly pull away and is met with a lazy smile from Penelope. My favourite Penelope smile.

“You have nothing to feel jealous about,” I reassure her, placing another soft kiss on her lips. This time she looks like she actually believes it. 

She goes to kiss me again, and I allow myself to get lost in it for a few moments, but I pull away once again. When she gives me a questioning look, I explain “As much as I would love to do this all day, I should go turn down Landon.” I go to move off her, but she just pulls my body tighter against hers. 

“Hmmm, just a few more minutes.” She murmurs into my ear. I can't help but let out a sigh at the feeling of being held tightly by her. 

“Fine. Only for a bit.” I grumble as I nuzzle into her neck, allowing my full body weight to cover Penelope. 

She gives me an appreciative squeeze before seeming to further relax. I don’t know how long we both pass out for, but when I wake, Hope is no longer in the room. 

I know that I really should talk to Landon because it’s not kind to keep him hanging. He really is a nice guy, and if I wasn’t ‘with’ Penelope I might have said yes. 

I try my best to move without waking up Penelope because I know if she wakes up she will convince me to stay again. 

I manage to slip out of a tight grip. When I finally check my phone, I see that I have been here for 5 hours. Jesus, did I sleep for that long?

I am also shocked that I didn’t notice how hungry I was. I guess I was too distracted with Penelope. 

I quietly leave the room and sent a quick text to Pen, just telling her that I went to go talk to Landon. I then bring up Landon’s text and ask if he can meet.

He is quick to respond, and we decided to meet in his room. 

I can’t help but feel anxious. I have never rejected someone before and I can’t help the immense guilt I feel. 

When I knock on his door, and he answers with a hopeful smile, my heart breaks a bit.

With my reaction, I see his face fall slightly, probably already able to assume my answer. 

I walk into his room and take a seat on his bed. He sits a respectful distance, knowing that it isn’t good news.

“I take it by your face that it’s a no.” He tries to joke but it falls flat. 

I offer him a weak smile, “I am sorry Landon, I just have feelings for someone else.” 

He nods in understanding, trying his best to hide his hurt.

“If these other feelings weren’t in the way, I would say yes.” Well, actually I wouldn’t say they are in the way. My feelings for Penelope aren’t some sort of roadblock from me and Landon dating, my feelings for her are my main feelings. I don’t know how else to explain it other than those are my main feelings, my feelings for her make everything else look small and insignificant. 

“Wrong timing I guess.”

“Yeah,” I respond

We sit in comfortable silence for a while before we start talking about trivial things. I am glad it isn’t awkward and we can move past this. Landon is really a nice guy and I would like to get to know him better. As friends as of course.

Once I leave his room, my stomach is growling so I head for the kitchen and quickly make some KD. Once I finish eating, I head back up into my room.

Lizzie isn’t in the room so assume she is with some new guy. If she was actually talking to me, I am sure I would have gotten the boys full story. I would have known how kissable his lips were, or how sexy his voice was. 

It’s not fair that she can talk all she wants about her multiple boys and I can’t mention a word about Penelope, who isn’t just some quick fuck.

I check my phone to find no texts from Pen, I feel a little disappointed, but my logical side tells me that she is just still asleep. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The rest of the week is slow. The one class I have with Penelope is filled with working on projects on preassigned groups, so I don’t really see her much. We text and talk whenever we see each other but it is not often.

We don’t meet after class all week until Thursday night. Although it was only 2 days without really seeing her, I feel like it is much longer. I wonder if she feels the same. Probably not.

Right after school Thursday, Penelope texts me like usual. We text about dumb stuff like what happened in class or just joke around. It really isn’t anything of substance but it still makes my heart race when her name pops up on my phone.

I don’t know how it turns to this, but Penelope texts: I keep thinking about you.

My heart does a backflip at that. I guess she is missing me too. 

I respond with: Me too. What are you thinking about?

I don’t know where my question will lead the conversation, but I am kind of hoping sexual because not being able to touch Penelope or be touched by her is driving me nuts a little. 

In classic Penelope fashion, she doesn’t disappoint when she responds: How pretty you looked when you were riding my face.

I pretty much choke on my own saliva at her response. Lizzie from the other beds gives me a questioning look, and all I can offer her in reply is a weak thumbs up. I am too worried that my voice will be shaky. 

I just stare at the message for a couple of minutes. God, with just a few words she can really affect me. 

Not fully knowing how to respond and not confident in my sexting abilities, I just send her: Are you in your room right now?

God, I sound thirsty as hell but the truth is I am. So badly so that I really don’t care how desperate I am coming across.

I don’t have to wait long for a response: Yes. Come.

I don’t even respond before I get up from my bed, telling Lizzie I am going to see Penelope.

She rolls her eyes are says something along the lines of “are you really not done with that?” But I am much too distracted to care.

I speed walk to Penelope’s room and quickly knock.

I feel like it takes her forever to answer the door, but it really wasn’t that long at all.

Before she can ever greet me, I push past the door and press my lips hard against hers.

She is taken aback by my swiftness because it takes her a second to kiss back, and I don’t miss the surprised gasp that leaves her lips.

Desperate and needy for more, I walk her backwards until her back pressed against the door. I move my attack from her lips to her neck, making sure to leave bruises. 

Her hands quickly grip my hips, pushing them tightly into her. She groans at the contact, and it encourages me to take out a page in Penelope’s book and slide my thigh between hers. 

Her hands encourage me to rock into her, which of course I listen to. Her being the one who is letting out needy whimpers feels so good. Being in control is something I am not used to, but at the moment I really am enjoying it. 

I slide my hand up her shirt, cupping her covered breasts. My lips leave her neck just to find her lips again. I lead the kiss, dominating my tongue with her. I tug on the hem of her shirt, asking for permission. She raises her hands up, granting it to me. I slip the shirt over her head and throw it carelessly to the ground.   
I tease her for a little longer, wanting her to be desperate. Her hips start meeting mine, looking for more friction. When she doesn’t find what she is looking for, she grabs my hand from that is playing with her now freed nipples and leads it lower.

I pull back from the kiss to find her eyes pleading. It’s a look that I haven’t really seen on Penelope and I absolutely love it. 

I slide my fingers in the waistband of her skirt but keep outside her underwear. Even though the material, I can feel she is soaking.

When I first cup her, she lets out this soft moan. I start rubbing her, leaning what exact spots make her react a little more. 

She wraps her leg around my hip, just like mine did in the stall days prior. I speed up my movements, and I totally plan to really touch her, but when she is moaning so much that our kisses just turn to her breathing into my mouth I know she is close. I cannot explain to you how satisfying it feels to make Penelope come without even really touching her.

She comes apart, leaning her forehead against mine while her hips erratically buck as wetness gushes into her panties. It takes her longer than normal to finally regain her breath. 

When she finally focuses back onto my face, she rolls her eyes at my cocky smirk, knowing she will not live this down. 

“I didn’t even really touch you.” I brag, feeling really good about myself. Being with Penelope always seems to do that. 

“Yeah, well you are super hot, and I haven’t seen you in a while.” She justifies herself with a light squeeze of my butt to emphasis her point. 

“Hmmm, well why don’t you show me how much you missed me?” I rasp, not recognizing my own voice. It is laced with sex.

She pushes herself off the wall, speedily walking us back towards the bed. She grips my hips to throw me on the bed, which I land on with a soft grunt.

Quick as lightning, she is already on top of me, giving me a predatory look and God it’s so hot. Thinking that I was the one dominating her moments ago seems odd now. She looks so in control.

She kisses me like she has been starving for days and I am a full course meal. She leaves me lips to pull back and look at me, her lips are puffy and bruised, I am sure mine are matching. Her hand goes to my neck, she uses her thumb to tilt my chin up, essentially making me unable to move and I love it.

She attacks my neck, biting and gently nipping before soothing it with her tongue. Penelope has never been this dominant before and I find it incredibly hot. And I thought me being dominant was hot.

I place my hands on her bareback, scratching it slightly with each kiss on my pulse point. She takes me by surprise when she reaches back, grabbing my hands and pinning them above me. I buck my hips into her, pleased by her dominance.

Now, only using one hand to hold my wrists together, she rocks back into me. She doesn’t start slow like she usually does but instead starts rough. 

Naturally, my hands want to go back onto her back, or grab something. When I forget for a moment that my wrists are behind held, I try to move them which earns a growl from Penelope.

“Be a good girl and don’t move.” She whispers into my ear before continuing with her hard thrusts.

I only whine in response with my eyes rolling to the back of my head. God, it just feels so good, but unlike Pen, I will need actual skin to skin contact to get off.

I do my best to ask for what I want without using words, just pleading eyes and movements with my hips, and either Penelope doesn’t notice or she just wants to torture me. I believe it is the ladder.

My thoughts are confirmed when she stops biting on my neck to once again whisper in my ear, “Use your words baby.” 

She knows exactly what I want, but she is too stubborn to give me what I want unless I give her what she wants. Well, I guess it’s good I am not stubborn at all, because I don’t even hesitate before begging her, “I need you inside of me.”

God, my voice sounds so needy and whiny, but it seems it always does with Penelope. 

She doesn’t wait for a second longer before she slips into my underwear to find me soaking. I don’t think it is a shock to either of us anymore to find either one of us in this state. We just have this crazy effect on each other. 

She teases my entrance for a bit, and I am so close to losing my mind. I debate touching myself instead, but I know nothing will compare to Penelope touches so I try my best to be patient. 

When she finally slips one finger into me, I sigh in relief. She groans at the feeling of my walls clenching around her finger, looking for more.

“So needy. Only for me.” She pants into my ear before connecting our mouths in a rough kiss to match the pace of her finger.

The second one she adds enters easily because of how wet I am. She pumps her fingers hard and fast, and with each thrust, I moan, progressively getting louder. 

It feels great but still not enough. I want more. I want more stretch, I want to be filled. 

“More Pen,” I groan into her mouth, wanting her to add another finger.

She pulls away with surprise on her face, but her face is covered in lust. She must like that I am asking for more, she's probably just surprised that I can take it.

“Another finger?” She asks, making sure. I find it very endearing that she always makes sure I am comfortable with what we are doing, even if she is already knuckles deep in me. 

“Yes. Please.” Again, my voice is whiny, and just like she said, so needy.

She grants my wish as she slowly enters with another finger. It’s a tight fit and she finds more resistance than she did for the other fingers. She gives me time to get accustomed to the fit, but once she knows I am fine, her rough pace starts up again.

I can feel the bed shaking, and the headboard knocks a few times with her more powerful thrusts.

My hands are still above my head, but she no longer holds them there. I keep them there because I know it’s what she wants and I want to be good for her. 

The pleasure becomes too much, and when she uses her thumb to circle my clit, it sends me over the edge in a matter of seconds. I tense beneath her, and my back arches, begging to get closer to her. 

My hand's grip at the pillow above me, needing to release the tension. My moan sounds pornographic, and I can tell Penelope likes my reaction because her hips lazily jerk into mine. 

Pen lets me ride out my orgasm, slowly pumping out her fingers. Once I gain my breath back, I grab her wrist and pull her away from my soaking center. I pull her hand towards my mouth. I make a show of cleaning off her fingers, moaning when I can taste my sweetness.

She stares down in awe, her mouth wide open. I let her fingers go in a pop, and she lets a gasps leave her lips.

I don’t think I have ever seen Penelope so speechless. It makes me feel powerful. 

It takes a few seconds to finally talk, and her voice is shaky when she says, “Well, I won’t be able to sleep ever again.” 

When a smirk at her response, she leans down and plants a kiss on my lips, “That was the hottest thing ever.” She smiles, looking proud she got to witness it. 

I just kiss her back, and for a few minutes we just make out. Again, I know off the bat it’s not leading into something. It’s just kissing and I am not disappointed at all. 

When we finally break from the kiss, Penelope asks, “Are you going to the party tomorrow.”

I am quick to respond, and honestly, I think it just slipped out, “If you are.”

She responds with a sweet smile, “Good.” She says as she lies back down next to me, snuggling into my side.

We fall asleep together and I stay the night, falling asleep in my normal clothes. It was worth it though.

If I could go back in time, I would beg myself to not go to that party, because that’s when everything starts going downhill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS!
> 
> I really enjoy your comments and I am constantly checking them so keep them coming!!!
> 
> So the next couple of parts will be not so happy and fluffy. Let's just say the party will be a shit storm.


	9. Fucking Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where shit hits the fan.
> 
> And a bit of Hizzie
> 
> Sorry for the longer than usual wait. School just started up again and I haven't really had time

Josie’s POV

This is not how I planned the party to go. I first entered the mill thinking that this would just be part 2 of the other party off-campus, but boy was I wrong.

I have yet to see Penelope at all. I know she is here somewhere because she texted me wondering where I was. I told her I was coming, and before I even had the chance to look around for her, I was stolen away by Raf. A very drunk Raf.

Now, I am currently sitting on a log by a fire listening to my drunk ex about to go off on a tangent. I take a finish my drink in my hand, unsure what the mixed drink really is. I think it’s just some fruity cooler Lizzie gave me, but either way, I need more of it.

Before I can let Raf talk, I quickly pick up my bag of booze, pulling out another cooler. When I finally settled on the log next to him, Raf gives me an unnerving look. He looks sad but the most unnerving part is how he is looking at me with such care. Just like how he used to when we dated.

God, I really wish I could be with Pen right now but I know how rude it would be to excuse myself or even check my phone. I can tell that Raf wants a serious talk, and in all honesty, it should probably happen anyways. 

Before he can go off, I give one last look around, hoping to see Penelope but I don’t. Just Lizzie talking to a new guy.

Rafael takes a breath in, composing himself before starting, “I should not have broken up with you.” His eyes are already watering, and even though he was drunk moments ago, he has seemed to sober up.

I am not ready for this, and I was not expecting this whatsoever. Raf hasn’t really crossed my mind all that much since Pen has been around. The only time I have really thought about him is when I am comparing him to Penelope, and it is mostly for sex things anyways.

Again, I feel too sober for this conversation. I know that this is a conversation that I can’t just run away from. We both need closure and we both need to talk it out.

“Raf.” I warn, but it ends in more a voice crack. I sound defeated and broken already. Fuck.

“I know, I know.” He sweetly says, his voice matching mine. I said this talk should happen, but I never said it should be easy. I really liked Raf but he broke my heart. He made me believe something was wrong with me. That being pansexual was something that would make me unfit for a relationship. Penelope has never once made me feel that way. Mind you, she is Bi and it’s not like we are dating or anything.  
He takes another shaky breath in, “I have wanted to talk to you so bad since, but God, it’s so hard.” He is really trying not to break down right now, I can see it in his eyes. His pain triggers mine, and I know our expressions are matching each other right now. 

“I knew I had to get drunk to talk to you because I needed courage.” He explains, his eyes are still glassy with unshed tears.

He just waits for a response and when he doesn’t get one, he just continues, “Jo, I am such a fucking idiot. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. I was such an asshole for breaking up with you. I was scared and ignorant when you came out. I was worried that it meant you wanted to explore and I was holding you back. I had a little panic because everything hit me at once. I overthought every relationship you had, knowing that you could fall for anyone, and I was nervous about pretty much every friendship you had. I thought that maybe they were more than a friendship and I know now how dumb that was. I should have trusted you more and I should have been more open-minded, but I have changed. I even watched videos about it so I could understand it better. I am really trying Josie. I really am. I want to be better for you.”

His rant is exactly what I wanted to hear. All the words I wish he would say. I remember right after the breakup crying in my bed, being held by Lizzie and hoping he would burst through the door and say these words. Although my feelings for him have dissipated significantly since then, with the help of Penelope, I can’t help but feel… moved. I don’t know how to explain it other than it feels really good. I know he is trying and I really appreciate it, but I don’t know if I can go back. Maybe if I didn’t have the Penelope thing going on I would give him another chance but I like where am I too much right now.

“Raf.” I breathe out, taking his shaking hand in mine, giving it a light squeeze. 

I care for him, of course, I do. 

A tear falls from his face, and instantly I wipe it with my thumb. It’s a gentle gesture and intimate. I wonder if Penelope and I could ever get to that intimate level. Crying in front of each other and comforting each other. It is hard to picture. Almost impossible.

He grabs my hand in his, keeping it pressed to his face, “I still love you, Josie.” And with those final words, he leans in, pressing a sweet and innocent peck to my lips. I don’t stop him but the kiss is so quick that he doesn’t even give me the chance to kiss back. Not that I would have kissed him back. Well, I am pretty sure I wouldn’t.

This kiss is respectful, and I can’t help but feel warm from it. Not from the kiss itself but how short it was, it wasn’t like he really kissed me because he probably knew I wouldn’t have wanted too. I don’t know, it just was sweet I guess.

“Raf, I care for you so much and I don’t regret a second with you.” I eventually talk after the peck, my voice is kind and sweet, trying to soften the blow of the rejection.

“I am sensing a but.” He sadly says, and I can tell he is doing everything to keep himself together. It really hurts me hurting him like this. I hate hurting people.

“I am kinda seeing someone, and I just don’t think it would be a good idea if we get back together.” At the mention of me seeing someone, he perks up. Most likely interested to see who I have moved on so quickly with. He looks like he is racking his brain to figure out who it is.

He seems to give up or not want to ask who I am seeing, sensing that it is no longer his place. 

“Well is what you have with this person serious?” He pries, attempting to get as much information without crossing any lines.

The question leaves me puzzled. Am I serious with Penelope? Well, no, but she did say she didn’t want me dating other people. I guess it’s not the definition of serious. It isn’t a forever thing.

“Not really.” My voice sounds small, and if Raf listened enough, he might have heard my slight disappointment.

“I know I have no right to ask or even talk to you about this anymore, but do you see it going somewhere? Can it be something like we had? Something safe and, I don’t know, real?” He questions and I know he is trying to help me, but it angers me a bit thinking that he is just trying to convince me to get back together with him.

Before acting on my emotions, I internalize his question. Can what I and Penelope have be real? Can it be a relationship where we meet each other's parents, and make plans of going to college together? Those aren’t my expectations for the relationship because I know Penelope would never want that. But I am young, and it is fine hooking up with someone without the expectation you are going to get married or last. That’s just what teenagers do.

“I don’t know what it really is, but it doesn’t matter. I want what is happening right now. I want whatever non-serious relationship we have.” I say with a little bit of sternness to my voice, not budging.

He only nods in response, looking lost in thought.

I extend my hand out to him, which he quickly takes in his own for a handshake, “Friends?” I question with my eyebrow raised. I do care for Raf and I still want him in my life, just not like that. 

He lets out a small smile but I can see the pain behind it, “Friends.” He confirms and shakes my hand, making it an official deal.

I shift in my seat, feeling uncomfortable, “Well, I am going to find…” I almost say, Penelope. It almost slips out but I stop myself. It’s not that I am embarrassed about hooking up with Pen, but I don’t really know if I want Raf to know. It seems like unnecessary drama. “My friends.” I generalize it, not totally lying. I guess Penelope is my friend. I guess we are more friends with benefits that lean more towards the benefits parts. We don’t really talk about anything that significant or have that connection that friends do.

I stand from the log before walking off, hopefully, to find Penelope. Where the hell is she? She told me she was already here.

I am about to give up when I spot Hope. Her hair and her discomfort of being at a party are hard to miss. She stands out like a sore thumb and I am sure I do the same. It’s just not our scene. 

I go to walk towards her but before I can start, Penelope comes rushing on to Hope. I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face on finally seeing the raven hair beauty. The smile instantly drops when I see Penelope crash her lips desperately onto Hopes. I stand in shock.

I thought they were friends? Since when do they make out with each other? If I am not allowed to go on dates with other people, what gives her the right to make out with whoever she wants. Also, how could Hope do that? She knew what was happening between Pen and me. 

I am seconds away from casting a fire spell when Hope after a few seconds of kissing back violently pushes Penelope off her, looking angry but mostly confused. 

Penelope isn’t turned to me, so I only can see Hope’s reaction. I see Hope’s face change for anger to softness when she asks Penelope and question and I am assuming it is Penelope's response for the change of attitude. 

Then Hope seems to get angry again, grabbing Penelope by her arm and dragging her away from the party. Penelope fights it for a bit, but she is no match for Hope’s strength. Hope quickly shoots a look over her shoulder and we make direct eye contact. 

I am sure she can see my reaction. The hurt, confusion and anger in my face. Her eyes go wide, and she looks at me as if to say I am sorry. My face remains the same. 

She says something to Penelope and then they are off, just like that. 

What the fuck do I do now?

Drink.  
\----------------------------------------------------------  
Hope’s Pov

I shouldn’t be here. I don’t know why I let Pen drag me out to these things. I am at a party, and of course, Penelope tries to stand by me for as long as she can, which only lasts a few minutes before she is pulled away to play a game with her many friends. I stand there awkwardly, just by myself.

Throughout the night a few people come up to me and have small chats with me. Landon, MG and someone else’s name I didn’t quite get. The conversations weren’t horrible, but they were in no way better than me being at home right now in bed.

I am alone again, but only for a short while before I see an uncharacteristically dishevelled Penelope come barreling towards me. She is on a mission. She looks like she is about to tear up, which is super rare. What the fuck happened. Instantly my body goes on alert, ready for another monster.

When she finally reaches me, she offered no explanation other than a hard kiss to my lips. It takes me a second to realize what is happening, but when I do I kiss back for a short bit. I and Pen have kissed before, we have even had long make-out sessions but it’s always when we are drunk and it means nothing. I freeze at the moment when I realize something.

Josie. Pen is with Josie.

I shove her off, pissed off that she would try to kiss me when she is with Josie. Are they even still together? Why the fuck is she kissing me then?

She stumbles back, looking just as rattled and her eyes are glossy. She looks desperate. So un-Penelope like it scares me honestly.

“What the fuck was that about,” I growl. Not pleased at all with how she is acting.

“Josie.” She whimpers. God, she looks so sad that I can feel my anger dissipate. What the hell did Josie do?

“What happened?” My voice is softer, but it is still a little sharp.

“She kissed Raf.” She looks so lost. Her voice is shaky. I didn’t know she would get this worked up over Josie.

Firstly, I have no idea why Josie would kiss Raf, but Josie doesn't seem like a cheater. Would it even really be cheating though? Second, why the hell did Penelope react by kissing me? Why would she not talk to Josie? Or I don’t know, not do exactly what Josie did to make her so distraught. 

Maybe she wanted to kiss me to forget, or maybe make Josie jealous. All I know is that she could have kissed anyone here, so why me? Maybe because she knows it would mean nothing, or maybe because she knows I am going to give her wicked shit.

“So you fucking kiss me? What is wrong with you.” I harshly whispered, not wanting to create a scene.

She just doesn’t respond. I can’t tell if she is even listening at this point.

“You are going back to your room before you fuck the one good thing you had even more.” I grip her arm. 

She tries to fight it, tries to break loose but I won’t let her. She would do so much damage. Well, so much more damage to Josie’s and her relationship. 

She finally gives and we walk out of the party. Before we can safely make it back to Penelope’s room, we run into Lizzie.

Great. Penelope really needed to person who she hates most to be right in her way, giving her bitchy and I would never tell a soul, but attractive smirk. 

“Well, isn’t it dumb and dumber.” She stands in the middle of the hallway, not allowing us to cross. God, the amount of confidence she has is crazy. 

Penelope just growls in response, not in the mood for banter.

Honestly, I am not in the mood either. I just need to get Pen to her room. 

“Woah, calm down Penelope. I thought Hope was supposed to be the werewolf. Stop baring your teeth at me.” I look between both girls. Fuck, this is not going to end well.

“Fuck off Lizzie.” Penelope rasps, rage filling her voice. I am impressed when Lizzie doesn’t even flinch. Most people would shit their pants if Penelope ever talked to them like that. Not Lizzie though. Nothing scares her. 

I try my best to defuse the situation, but before I can even start to try, Lizzie is quick with a response, “Just because you are fucking my sister, doesn’t mean you can talk to me like that.” At this point I know there is no return. Penelope’s vein in her neck in becoming prominent and I know Lizzie took it too far. Especially bringing up Josie. Lizzie didn’t know though, so it’s not really her fault.  
I just as I expected, Penelope is quick to whisper a spell, sending Lizzie hard into the wall. I can hear the air leaving Lizzie’s lungs and she hits the wall, and the drywall breaks. They are shitty material anyways, but she hits the wall pretty hard. Before I can even scold her, she storms into her room. 

I make sure to set a locking spell, making sure she won’t go out and create more chaos and problems for herself. 

I quickly turn to Lizzie who looks hurt sitting on the floor. I fall to my knees, facing her, “Fuck Lizzie, I am sorry. Are you okay?” I ask, looking around for injuries.

She groans in pain as she pulls her back partially out of the wall. I offer her a hand to help her stand, and I am surprised when she takes it. I guess she really doesn’t hate me that much. 

“Keep your dog on a tighter leash.” She growls. Okay, that’s the Lizzie I know. Snarky.

“I thought I was the dog?” I try to crack a joke. It seems foreign coming out of my mouth. 

I don’t miss the way that Lizzie’s lips turn into a small smile before she turns back to her resting bitch face. She looks really pretty when she smiles.

I spot something on that back of her shirt. Blood?

“Turn around,” I demand at her, not giving her an explanation as I grip her hips, spinning her to face the other way.

“Jesus Hope, buy me dinner first.” She jokes. Her voice comes out breathy. Probably from getting the wind knocked out of her. 

“You’re bleeding.” I softly say as I let my fingers trace the blood dying her shirt. 

She attempts to look for herself, but of course, she can’t see it.

“I’ll go look at it,” I say, as I make her follow me to my room. 

I could probably heal her or something but it’s too intimate to ask. Too kind of something to offer to someone who hates me.

When we finally reach my room, I guide her to sit on the bed. 

“Take your shirt off.” I try my best to sound casual as I gather some band-aids and other medical items.

I wait for a witty comeback but no sounds come from Lizzie’s direction other than the thump of her shirt hitting the ground.

When I finally turn around, I almost drop everything in my hands. Lizzie Saltzman is sitting in my bed with only a bra on. She looks incredibly hot. 

I must give myself away from my reaction because Lizzie raises an eyebrow at me, almost teasing me. 

I steadily walk to the bed, asking her to turn so I can see her back.

The cut isn’t bad, and it won’t need stitches. 

“It’s not bad, don’t worry,” I reassure her. 

I wipe down the cut, which really isn’t needed but maybe it is just an excuse to see her half-naked a little longer. When I have the band-aid on, I wait for a second, just admiring the view. How can a back be so sexy?

I clear my throat, as suddenly my mouth is crazy dry, “Done.”

I quickly get up from the bed, giving Lizzie distance.

She puts her shirt back on, and I can’t but feel offended by that stupid shirt. It looks great on her though.

She gives me a genuine smile, which I really haven’t seen from Lizzie before. It’s cute.

“Thanks, Hope. Maybe I have to get shoved in a wall more often.” She says. Is she flirting with me?

I just chuckle in response, not trusting my voice to work when I realize she is actually flirting with me.

And of course, before she leaves, she just has to say, “And if you wanted to see me shirtless, all you had to do was ask.” And she ends it with a wink.

I stand there a blushing mess for a second before remembering I have a job to do. Clean up Penelope’s fucking mess.

I head back out to the part on the hunt for Josie. I find her rather quickly and she is alone by the fire, drinking from her red solo cup.

She doesn’t notice me until I take a seat next to her.

“Hey.” I softly say, and when she turns to look at me, all I see is anger in those eyes. Did the twins switch bodies or something? 

When she doesn’t respond, I know I have to lead this.

“Penelope was upset because she saw you and Raf kiss,” I explain.

Josie just looks at me in disgust and shock, “First, that wasn’t even a kiss. It was a peck. It meant nothing. I was telling him I didn’t want to get back together with him. Second, who the fuck reacts like that. She gets mad so she just makes out with you? To what? Prove that I don’t mean anything to her? To prove that she could have anyone?” She rants, controlled by her emotions. Josie isn’t wrong.

“I know Penelope is a huge idiot. But she reacted like that because she cares. I haven’t seen her like that with anyone.” I know Penelope probably doesn’t want me saying that, but Josie needs to hear it. I wait for Josie’s expression to soften, but her face remains in a deep scowl. 

“I don’t fucking care. If you care for someone you don’t react like that. You communicate. I don’t want to be with someone who acts like that any second they feel threatened. I knew this was a bad idea.” She scolds herself. 

God, Penelope really fucked this up. And just wait until she realizes that Penelope harmed her sister. This is only going to get worse. 

Before I can defend Penelope, Josie storms off. 

Fuck.

I guess there is no point in me being here now. I walk back to res, going to check up on Penelope.

When I open her door and undo the spell, I find a trashed room and Penelope passed out on the bed. It doesn’t take a genius to connect the dots and realize that Penelope trashed her room in a rage.

“You are such a fucking idiot,” I say to my sleeping friend before crawling in next to her.

The next morning is going to be hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT.
> 
> What did you think?
> 
> How will they patch this over?
> 
> I really live for your comments so please keep them coming.


	10. The Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Penelope of the morning after and her dealing with being a dumb ass.
> 
> Kinda sad hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Sorry about the slow updates. I am sick as fuck and school is picking up. I'll try to get them weekly or bi-weekly to you guys.

Penelope’s POV

Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck.

First off, I feel like absolute shit. My whole body is sore, my knuckles are raw to the touch and my head is pounding. Waking up like that is not what I would consider a good time, so that was horrible.

Way worse was when my brain started actually functioning. Memories of last night came flooding into my head. Memories of Josie kissing Raf. Memories of me kissing Hope. Memories of a lot of blankness. 

Josie.

I really fucked up that didn’t I? Perhaps to the point of no return. To be fair, she did kiss her ex, so it’s not like I am the only bad guy. I guess we both fucked up. Don’t are fuck ups just cancel each other out?

Now, with my eyes still squeezed shut, I just think of how today is going to be shit. I am going to have to talk to Josie and try to fix this. 

When I finally open my eyes, I am welcomed with fiery auburn hair. Hope. God, I hope I didn’t sleep with her last night. 

I doubt we did because Hope was pretty pissed off I kissed her. Plus I was really drunk and Hope wouldn’t do that if I was that drunk. It is likely however that I came on to her. 

I groan in an attempt to express everything I am feeling right now. It seems as if a 100-hour long scream would have been more sufficient. 

Hope, looking fully awake now turns to me. Her face is tentative, waiting for my reaction. 

“Fuck,” I say to her. She just sighs, looking disappointed in me. I for sure have seen that look before, especially from her.

“You really are dumb Penelope.” Her voice has no malice in it, she acts as if she is just stating a fact. I guess it kind of is a fact. I am dumb. A big dumb ass.

I fucked up the one thing that I really liked. Destroyed it when I was actually feeling something. Josie is obviously special, and I fucked that up. I don’t know if I can go back to what we were before. Barely any communication, no touching, just longing glances. I don’t think I can survive without kissing her for the rest of my life. Or touching her. Or tasting her. Or cuddling with her. Or just fucking talking to her. I feel like now, I just need her in my life. She can’t just not be a part of my life. 

“I know,” I respond, rubbing my face with my hands. Fuck this headache. I am never drinking again.

“Do you remember everything from last night?” She questions, wanting to make sure I am fully aware of how much I fucked up and how much Josie fucked up. 

You don’t go around kissing your ex. Especially in front of the girl you are fucking. Kind of a dick move on Josie’s part. 

Me kissing Hope was just retaliation. An eye for an eye. You kiss your ex, I kiss your childhood crush. That makes sense right?

It’s not like Josie and I are dating or anything, but I did tell her I didn’t want her going on a date. I think that is pretty clear it means I don’t want you kissing your ex either.

“I remember the important parts.” By important, I mean fucked up.

She looks at me with a little bit of anger laced in her eyes. “So you remember Raf kissing Josie, then you storming up to me trying to make out with me, then throwing Lizzie into a wall and then trashing your room?” Fuck. I lift my head to see my room completely trashed. That will only take a clean up spell.

Me hurting Lizzie will take more than just a spell to fix. Well, now I am super fucked. Josie is loyal like a dog to Lizzie, and I know Josie hates it when people pick on Lizzie. Once Josie filled up someone locker with tons of frogs because they said something rude about Lizzie being bipolar. If you want Josie to hate you, shoving Lizzie into a wall is a good start.

Shit. She is going to hate me. We may be able to recover from the kissing thing, but this. I don’t know. 

I already know that Lizzie hates me and Josie together, but this will just add fuel to the fire. I really set myself up for failure. I really am never drinking again. 

Hope starts again because I don’t respond, “You really fucked up man.” Now it looks like there is a bit of pity on her face. Gross.

“I know. But to be fair, so did Josie.” I defend myself. I know it is a weak defence but still.

Hope scoffs and she looks repulsed by my answer. “You know, I talked to Josie and she said that it was only a peck goodbye and she was telling him she wasn’t interested because she is seeing someone else.”

The realization hits me like a truck. I really really really fucked up. I read that so wrong. God damn it. Why did I have to retaliate? That was so fucking dumb. If I didn’t do anything or maybe talked to her we would have been good. Shit.

“And that someone is you.” She seems as if she has to explain herself further. Of course, I knew it was me, I am not that fucking stupid. Scratch that, I actually am that dumb. Just look at what I did to poor Josie.

‘You talked to her?” I question with my eyebrows furrowed. When did she do that? What the hell did she say to Josie? What the hell did Josie say to her?

Hope lets out a look of disbelief. “That’s what you have to say? I tell you all of that and that’s what you ask?” Her voice has undertones of anger. She really is trying to be patient I can tell. Hope is not really a patient person, she is nothing like Josie.

I shrug my shoulders. What is there to say? ‘Oops’, or something? Maybe I am too disappointed to say something or maybe I knew this is exactly what I would do. Ruin everything that is good. Act on emotions and not logic. Usually, I would think I am a very well thought out person. Everything I do has a deeper intent, but with Josie it is different. She makes me irrational. She makes me act on emotions without thinking. Just before last night, all the emotions were mostly goods ones. 

Hope just huffs before answering my question, her voice is still raised when she says, “Yeah, I had to try and clean up your mess. I tried to defend you but she wanted none of it. She said something about knowing it was a bad idea. Then I had to go take care of Lizzie because her back was bleeding from you shoving her into a wall. And this mess…” Hope gestures to the room that looks like just had a tornado run through it, “This one you are going to have to clean up, I’m not doing it.” 

Hope is a good friend. I want to tell her thanks but I don’t. I am a dick remember? Obviously emotions and I weren’t meant to be together because it only seems to cause problems. Everything was so much easier when I was a stone-cold bitch all the time. It was easier before Josie. Was I happy or content? No, but I never felt like this. Worthless, a fuck up, a dumb ass and more importantly guilty. Guilty for hurting the nicest, most carrying and sweetest person in the world. Guilty for not being appreciative of Hope. 

“I should try and fix the thing with Josie too.” My voice is raw, and I know I would only sound that way around Hope. And maybe Josie. Before the incident happened.  
Hope face softens, “I would give her time to cool off. Plus, she was pissed and she didn’t even know about the Lizzie part.” 

True. Although Josie is a sweetheart, I could see her having a bad temper if you push too far, and I definitely pushed. The thought of giving her space scares me a bit. How long do I have to stay away? What if it is indefinitely? What if she doesn’t even want to be around me anymore. What if she is going to hate me. Oh God, she is going to hate me.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

3 Weeks later…

Josie hates me. Like hates me hates me. I tried to give her space, but that could only last so long because we sat next to each other in class.

I was nervous the first time seeing her, but offered a shy smile and a quiet “Hey, Jojo,” and she didn’t even look at me. All she did was sit down and stare forward. At first, I was naive and thought she didn’t hear me. I was wrong. 

I said something to her again, and she turned to me with a blank expression on her face and essentially told me to shove it. She said she didn’t want to see me anymore, and it would be for the best if we went back to how we used to be. So we somewhat went back to how we used to be before the night of the house party. 

Josie did a good job of ignoring me, seemingly looking unbothered by the deterioration of our relationship. It hurt me so much that she showed more emotion for Raf that she did for me. To be fair they actually dated, but I thought Josie and I really had something. She obviously did not see it that way because she could care less. She still laughs with her friends, whispers about me to Lizzie as I walk by, and she will even add a snarky comment. At times it is like having two Lizzies and it can be hell. 

I have been doing a worse job looking unaffected. I got cold again and somehow managed to get colder. I didn’t socialize as much as I used to. Sure, I still went out and talked to people but it somehow managed to feel more hollow than before. Sometimes I would wish I never had a thing with Josie because it’s horrible knowing what I lost.

Before it was a dream of mine, but it wasn’t realistic. I could pretend like I knew what it was like to touch and taste her, but now that I know what she is like, the loss is immense. I feel like I am grieving. I know it is ridiculous and sad. 

The worst part is that I missed the intimate things more. Of course, I miss the sex. A day doesn’t go by where I don’t think about it. But I miss just being close to her. At night I get this feeling I never used to. It is like this intense need for human contact. And not just any humans but Josie’s. Josie’s soft hands, kind words and caring smile. Since that horrible night, I sleep holding a pillow close to my chest. It’s the closest I will get to that comfort I used to feel, and I think it’s the closest I deserve. 

I tried to shut out Hope, but her being a great friend didn’t let me. We talked and I told her some things about my feelings but not everything. Not the things that made me look like a depressed loser, so actually I didn’t tell her much.

Since that night, Hope and Josie got closer. They text and hang out from time to time. It does piss me off, and I told Hope it does. She essentially told me to fuck off, and that it didn’t mean anything. I know Hope, and I know she would never do anything to hurt me.

I guess it just hurts knowing that Josie would rather be with her than me. That’s what I have mostly been feeling. Hurt. 

Hurt that she doesn’t want me. Hurt that I want someone so bad who wants nothing to do with me. Hurt that I ruined it. Hurt that she isn’t hurt at all. Hurt that I am a fuck up. 

It sucks, and I thought with time it would get better, but it hasn’t. Josie and I exchange words, but it’s mostly small things. Words about the school, borrowing a pencil or only from her side, words of hate.

I like it when she talks to me, even when it’s laced with dislike. It is way better than when she ignores me or gives me that blank stare. I can’t read her like I used to. Even if she is giving me hate, at least she is giving me attention and at least I am still apart of her life. Wow, that sounds sad and needy. 

I never really got the chance to talk to Josie, she didn’t give me one. Hope keeps telling me to be patient and wait, and I know she is right. With her new closeness to Josie, I know Josie is telling her these things, or at least Hope is reading into what she is saying and knows she isn’t ready for the talk.

I don’t even know what I would say. I don’t know if I could be honest and tell her how shitty it is without her and how I do deeply care about her and that maybe I could see this leading to more. I am too scared she is going to reject me. I was scared beforehand when we were in a good place that she would reject me, so now that we are not even talking really, my chances at rejection just skyrocketed. 

I thought telling her I didn’t want her to see other people was me being vulnerable, but boy was I wrong. That is about 5% of what I would have to do to win her back. I know there must be another way. A way where it's slower and she eventually warms up to me again, and we take it really slow. I could do slow for Josie.  
So now, three weeks later the semester ended. This means new classes and no longer sitting beside Josie. That was the only time I would really see her. The only excuse I had to talk to her. 

Now, I can only pray I have another class with her. I need to keep seeing her. 

For the first time in school history, we are finally taught defence skills thanks to Josie’s campaigning. We have a defence magic class now, and a combat class.

Combat class now is mixed in with our Phys-ed and I don’t know if I am happy about it or not. I am not someone you will find bolting around the track covered in sweat, but I cannot deny the importance of learning these skills. Especially because Josie has been trying so hard for the change, I feel obligated to try to like it.

My whole opinion on the course changed when I walked into the same change room and saw a familiar figure. Josie. 

I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. Good. I have more time with her. The only thing is I don’t know if I can deal with seeing her change every day. That is going to be torture. 

I hesitate for a second, should I go up and talk to her. Let her know I am in the class with her? Or do I let her just figure it out herself?

I decide to talk to her, or at least try to. New semester new leaf right?

Before she can take off any of her clothes, I walk up to her. Her back is turned to me, so I say her name to get her attention.

It breaks me a little when I see her face drop once she realizes I am in her class. I remember a time when she would be excited to see me, not disappointed. Oh, the good old days.

“Sorry Jojo looks like you are stuck with me,” I say when she doesn’t respond to my greeting.

She takes a large sigh, seemingly already exhausted with dealing with me. “Guess so.”

We stand there looking at each other for a second or two and she looks at me expectantly, “Did you want something?” Again, her voice is laced with the usual malice she has for me now.

Oh shit. I probably should have figured out what I wanted to say to her before I walked over here. See, Josie just makes me do illogical things. 

“Uhhh, yeah. I just wanted to say congrats on getting defence classes finally in the curriculum, I know how hard you have been fighting for this.” My voice is so soft compared to hers.

“Yeah, I think the large volume monsters convinced my dad, plus Hope can’t be the only one to defend our school.” She explains, already getting passionate about it. If we were still a thing, I probably would have told her she is cute when she gets passionate about something, but of course, I don’t.

It feels a little awkward her bringing up Hope. Hope is the person that connects yet we no longer connect. It’s a weird feeling that I can’t really explain. 

“Yeah, true.” I don’t know how to continue the conversation but I desperately want to. This is the best conversation Josie and I have had, and she really only said one sentence that wasn’t rude.

“So,” I start while I peel off my shirt. “What are your classes like this semester?” I know it’s unfair and a little evil for me to change right in front of Josie. I honestly just need a little hope that she is still affected by me. I need to see her crack, even just a little. 

I don’t miss the way her eyes grow larger, and the quick glance she shoots at my bra covered chest. I bet she doesn’t even notice her tongue quickly wetting her lips. Good, I still have an effect on her. She might hate me but at least she is attracted to me. 

“Uh, I-” She stutters before regaining her composure, staring directly into my eyes, doing her best to only look at my face. “It’s okay, easier than last semester.”

I think Josie is not being hateful towards me because she is too distracted by me changing. She is doing her best to focus on my face and not let her eyes trail, so I don’t think she has time to think about being a dick to me.

“Oh, mine is harder for sure.” I go on, also too distracted to really care about what I am saying. I reach to unclip my bra and I know its a bad idea, but I can’t help it. Knowing Josie is still attracted to me speeds up my heart rate and gives me butterflies. 

But before I can undo my bra, one of my many minions comes squealing in my ear, excited that we have a class together. 

I try my best to not look annoyed by the disruption but I can’t help it. She still though talks to me, and before I know it, Josie has left.

The rest of the class is uneventful, mostly just going over-rules and what we can expect throughout the next semester. It isn’t eventful until I hear people talking about a certain rumour going around that causes my head spin, stomach drop and my heart to hurt a little bit if I am being honest.

“Did you hear that Josie and Landon are going on a date tonight?”

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS PLEASE COMMENT. I read all of them and they make my week.
> 
> Tell me what you want to see. Do you think they have a chance?
> 
> How do you think they will get back together?


	11. Dull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie goes on a date with Landon

Josie’s Pov

God damn Penelope Park. 

Just when I am attempting to move on from her, she really just has to bring me back in. She knows that even though I am mad at her, I will always be attracted to her, and she is using that against me.

She isn’t very subtle, so pretending to not understand the weight of her actions when she is seductively changing right in front of me is bullshit.

Her skin looked so smooth, begging me to run my fingers down it, scratch it so that it leaves marks, press my lips against it and leave bruises. She really wants to kill me, doesn’t she?

I know I didn’t do a great job looking unbothered. It was almost like the tables have turned. Instead of me being the unshakable one, Penelope stood with her classic cocky smirk that honestly, I haven’t seen in a while.

Ever since the end of whatever Penelope and I had, she doesn’t seem like herself. Her stone-cold demeanour was replaced with someone who was more like, well me. Someone who had a hard time hiding their emotions. I could tell she is hurt by me ignoring her but she deserves it. And its what best for either of us. 

Her kissing Hope and throwing Lizzie in a wall just shows how we could have never been. How we are incompatible. It is obvious that Penelope just wanted a plaything, and I don’t think I could just be that. Now, she is pouting because someone took her toy away.

I am surprised she would be this affected for this long. What has it been now? Three weeks? I know it is only most likely one more week until she finds someone else to play with. So no, I was not going to sit around and wait for her to find a new fuck buddy. I wanted to show her how unbothered I am and move on. Plus, I think three weeks is good enough time to jump from one kinda relationship to another.

So that’s why I went to Landon and told him that I would go on a date with him if he still wanted me. With a cute and excited smile, he told me that he was still interested. We figured out a day that would work and he said he would plan the rest. 

I am looking forward to the date, but I would never admit to anyone that I don’t feel the butterflies that I did with Penelope. Not even close to the butterflies from when I would see her walk into a room. The little things she would do, which would have huge effects on me was a little ridiculous. It was like everything was turned up in intensity. But the important word is was. She was all these things. She was someone who I would send shivers down my spine with a mere glance.   
But not anymore. When she walks in a room, all that replays in my mind is her kissing Hope. Or Lizzie telling me in the morning what happened, showing me a cut on her back and later, a Lizzie size hole in the wall.

Sure, the first week, I would still feel these feelings, but that was just because my body was used to feeling that way. It’s like when a chicken gets it head cut off and it still runs around. Although my brain was saying one thing, my body was just naturally reacting.

Eventually, my body and brain were on the same page, and I would no longer feel those giddy feelings. It was more like an annoyance. Especially because I had Lizzie in my ear constantly, discussing her hate towards the one and only Penelope Park, it was just easier to hate her. 

I thought I was all over it until today. When she decided to give me a strip show. That sent the old shock waves through me, and they were just as powerful as they used to be. But, even with the new but old feeling, it changes nothing. It doesn’t change who she is, or what she did. It doesn’t change what she wants, or more like what she doesn’t want from me; a real committed relationship. 

Plus, I have a date tonight. A date with a kind, caring and cute boy, who is actually taking us seriously. Who can actually communicate instead of acting out.

So, I am a little pissed off that when I am trying to get ready for this date, Penelope is still running through my mind. I shake my head to get the thoughts out of my head. 

Lizzie and Hope are camped out in my room, helping me to choose what I am going to wear. Actually, it more Lizzie and Hope is just observing from the bed, giving a thumbs up or thumbs down based on what Lizzie holds up. Lizzie tends to go with the opposite of what Hope likes, but she doesn’t seem to mind. She seems content with just hanging with the twins.

Ever since the party, Hope and I have gotten closer. She is someone that I can talk to most of my feelings about. I try to leave out details of how I am feeling about Penelope, but I still talk about it. I talk about how my feelings have changed, and how I knew she wasn’t someone that I could last with. Sometimes, Hope defends Penelope, saying she isn’t used to being serious with someone, and she doesn’t know how to act when she has feelings. She also explains that Penelope has never been so vulnerable or intimate with anyone.

Although that did break a small crack in my hatred towards Penelope, it didn’t dismantle it. Probably because it was Penelope saying it or acting like it. We are not in elementary school anymore, where you would get your friend to ask your crush out for you. I need someone more mature than that.

I know that some of what I say gets relayed back to Penelope, but I trust Hope enough that it is not everything. Just general ideas about my feelings. At times, I feel bad putting Hope in the middle of this, and whenever I try to apologize to her she just tells me to shut up.

I know Hope is close to many people, so I can tell she enjoys having me as a friend. Plus, her being closer to me means that she is somewhat closer to Lizzie. Although they bicker often, there isn’t that malice behind it that there used to be. It is more like teasing. They don’t talk often, and they never hang one on one, but it is a huge improvement to what they were. 

And of course, I talked to Hope about Landon and I. I asked if she would be okay if we went on a date before I asked him if he was still interested. She said yes, and then went on this long rant about when you break up with someone, you have zero say in who they date. She went on about how this school is too small to not date someone and piss their ex or some friend off. I guess the moral of her rant was ‘get over it.’. 

I couldn’t help myself and think about Penelope. I know that we didn’t date, but I related it to Hope’s rant. If Penelope dated someone else, I would be hurt, but I know I have no control over who she dated. I was trying to think of someone who I would actually be mad at if they hooked up with Penelope, and all I could think of was Lizzie and Hope. One for sure would never happen in a million years or a million different universes. And for Hope, I trust should wouldn’t do that to either of Penelope or me. Plus, the wound is still somewhat fresh. I am sure in a month or two, I would give a shit who Penelope fucks.

“Josie, are you even listening?” Lizzie asks, annoyed that I don’t care as much about what vibe colour pallets give off.

“Uhhh, sorry. I am just nervous about the date.” I respond. Lie. 

Lizzie goes back to ruffling through both of our clothes when Hope speaks up, “You have nothing to be nervous about. Landon can be a bit awkward at first but he is really down to earth and easy to talk to.” She explains from her experience.

“Yeah, I just hope it goes well.” I twiddle my thumbs, showing signs of my anxiety but not for what I am sure they think. I am nervous that it won’t be as good as Penelope. That what I will feel will not be able to compare to her. 

“Trust me it will. Landon is super sweet and he knows how the make a date great.” Hope says with a bit of a lazy smile on her face, looking happy to reminisce.

Lizzie groans from the pile of clothes before grumbling, “Then why did you break up with him if hobbit boy is soooooo perfect.” I can feel Lizzie roll her eyes from here even though I can’t see her.

Hope raises an eyebrow at that, now turning her full attention to Lizzie. “Why do you care?” He tone is teasing, but there is some seriousness to it. She wants a real answer. 

See this is what I mean by teasing. It’s a bit of a weird vibe that makes me learn towards maybe flirting, but I am not sure.

Lizzie stays with her back to us, “Well, I just don’t want you to be all hurt when Josie dates him if you still think he is so great. Or maybe he has this flaw that you aren’t telling us that made you break up with him.” I can just tell by the stiffing of her back that she is frustrated, but I am sure that Hope can’t tell.

Hope just chuckles in response, before saying, “Landon was a great boyfriend on paper. Everything was perfect but we just didn’t have that chemistry. I just didn’t have that pull towards him. We both knew we were better as friends.” 

Then her eyes dart to me, worried she said something wrong, “But I am not saying that is what will happen with you, Josie. It’s different for everyone. But Landon really is great, and if you can feel that pull towards him, I really think you guys would be perfect together.”

It does take a genius to understand what Hope is trying to say. If I can feel that pull towards him like I felt for Penelope. If he can make my stomach do summersaults like Penelope. If he can make me fall apart with a touch like Penelope. I try my best to be optimistic, but something deep inside is screaming that there is no chance in hell he will. And I think that Hope knows that.

I think that Hope although is saying all these things, feels as it is something I just need to go through. Something that will make me see the truth. That I should want Penelope, or at least, I don’t want anyone the way I wanted her. What freaks me out the most is I think she may be right. 

I think Hope is for me and Penelope getting back together, but she is trying her best to be unbiased, but from knowing Hope at a young age, I would like to think I read her somewhat well.

“We will see how I feel,” I say, sounding like the best statement. Not too hopeful or pessimistic. 

Hope just nods her head, her eyes boring into mine so intensely that I look away and distract myself with Lizzie.

“Have you found anything?” I ask, knowing that Lizzie probably has 100 different outfits I could wear already picked out, ranked, and organized by colour. 

“Yeah, so we have 12 options…” I tune out of Lizzie detailed description of each, and when she is done, I pick my favourite. Well actually its not my favourite, but its the safest choice. It is the best one that has pants. I don’t know why but I feel like I shouldn’t wear a skirt. That seems to remind me too much of Penelope and all the dirty things she did to me in a skirt. 

There goes my mind again, wandering to the infamous Penelope Park.

When I get changed, I do my makeup with Lizzie leaning over my shoulder, giving me tips and critiques. It is usually me helping her get ready for a date, so it does feel nice that the roles have reversed and she is putting just as much care as I do in it. It makes me feel noticed.

I was surprised that Lizzie was fine with me going on a date with Landon, and she has expressed her destain for him often, especially when he and Hope were dating. But, I think that in her eyes, anyone is better than Penelope. Plus, I do think she trusts Hope and therefore, trusts that Landon really is a good guy. Even if she thinks he is needy and nerdy. I can be those things too. Maybe we will be good together. 

When I am finally done getting ready, Lizzie gives me a full look over, making sure that there are no mistakes in her work. She straightens my blouse before telling me “You look perfect.”

Her smile is genuine and it causes a smile to spread across mine. Hope too, is standing behind Lizzie, looking at me, also giving me a once over, but hers is more intimidating and sends tingles down my spine. Blame it on my old crush.

“You look hot,” Hope says, and then her face goes red. Almost like she didn’t mean to say it. I don’t miss the way Lizzie’s smile goes into a frown. I don’t know if I am reading into things, but I kind of get the feeling that maybe there is tension between these two.

I don’t want to make the situation worse or make Hope feel more embarrassed so I say “Thank you, Hope.” 

I can tell that relieved the tension a bit.

And with that, it is my time to head to Landon’s room. We decided it was best I meet at his room because Lizzie can be intimating towards Landon. I find it cute, but I can’t help but think that Penelope and her confidence would not have a problem picking me up in front of Lizzie. Hell, she kissed me in front of Lizzie after the first night together. 

I blow out an exhale of air before knocking on his door. When he answers with a dopey smile, and it is cute. I return the smile, and he opens the door fully, letting me enter his room.

We stand in a moment of silence, and it is a little awkward. Just as most first dates are.

He ends the silence, “So I was thinking we could grab a bite to eat. How does the Mystic Grill sound?”   
I can tell her is a little bit nervous, and once again I think it is really cute. It’s nice to know I can make people nervous. Usually, it is the other way around. Like with Penelope

“That sounds great.” I smile.

“Okay, I just have to grab my jacket.” He slips on his jacket, and it looks good on him. He really does look handsome. 

“You look beautiful by the way.” He shyly says as he readjusts his jacket. 

“I was just thinking about how handsome you look.” My voice is a little more confident than his, but not by much.

And with that, we leave his room, and head down the hallway. We walk through the main lobby, and I almost stop in my tracks when I see her. There is Penelope, sitting on the steps with a couple of her followers.

Luckily, Landon doesn’t notice my hesitance as we continue to walk. I know I keep throwing glances her way as we walk by, but I can’t help it. She hasn’t seen me yet and I know it’s cruel but I want her to. I want her to see me with someone else. I want to show her I am moving on.

And then, our eyes meet and my world stops. It’s like in slow motion, and I can feel my heart skip a beat. Her eyes dart between Landon and I and even from here, I can see that she just let out a deep breath.

Her eyes are soft. God, they are so soft. They look lighter than they ever have. They look sadder than they ever have. Her face seems to be frozen in this surprised, sad and disappointed look that makes me feel like I just kicked a puppy.

I am the one to break the stare down because I know its rude to Landon when he is giving me his full attention to give him mine. Even though I stopped looking, I can still feel her stare at me, but I don’t dare to look back. 

Once we finally make it to the Mystic Grill, we fall into easy conversation. Hope was right, he really is easy to talk to. We talk about school, Hope, monsters and music. It’s nice to talk to someone who is similar to me and understands me. Both Landon and I feel unnoticed. He feels useless in a world full of supernaturals. Even though he is a phoenix, none of us really know what that means. I feel useless because I am invisible. No one can see me in Lizzie’s shadow. But Landon can. So did Penelope. Penelope always noticed me.

Stop thinking about Penelope. You are out on a date with Landon.

He asks me about Raf, and I ask him about Hope. We joke about talking about Ex’s on our first date but it feels right. He is really close to Raf and I am close to Hope, so it is interesting hearing the other side.

“Raf was fine that we were going out on a date?” I question, making sure I am not causing any unneeded drama.

He seems to stiffen at the question, “At first he wasn’t okay with it. But I talked to him for a while and he understood. He always said that you closed to book on your relationship, so he got the hint that it wasn’t happening again.” He pauses for a moment, “And Hope was okay with it?”

“Yeah, I think she was happy I was going on a date with someone as great as you.” I compliment. Well, it is the truth. He is a great guy, and being on this date with him just reassured and further my opinion. 

He smiles and looks down at the compliment. It is adorable. We order our food and our nice conversation continues.

It’s a nice conversation and I feel like we really understand each other. Maybe parts that we don’t expose to other people. We share our insecurities and I can’t help but think that maybe he would be the perfect person to tell Penelope about, but that for sure is not a first date conversation. 

We finish eating and head back to school. We hold hands on the way back. It’s nice to be able to be this intimate and romantic with someone. It is something that I doubt I would have with Penelope. Is it something I want with Penelope, yes. But is it something I will never have, so what's the point in pinning after it. 

Again, my mind is clouded with Penelope, and I would never admit this out loud but a large majority of the date, I was comparing him to her, which isn’t fair. It isn’t fair because Landon is really trying. It isn’t fair because he can’t compare to her, and how she made me feel. I am starting to think no one will and that just wants me to hate her more.

When we reach his room, he looks at me expectedly. It’s an awkward first date goodbye. Do you kiss or hug? We stand for a moment, and I see the anxiousness in his eyes, and I know mine are matching. 

Instead of going for anything, he opens his door, inviting me in. With most people, you go on a date with, that tends to be a sign that they want to take things further. You don’t ask someone you went on a date within your room unless you want to get it on with them. But looking at Landon and knowing how he is and how our connection is, I can tell that there is no meaning behind his words. I trust him.

When I get into his room, he ruffles around his room, looking for something. 

“I know you play the ukulele, so I was thinking I could teach you guitar because it’s pretty similar. And maybe one time you can teach me how to play the ukulele.” God, he really is a great guy. He’s so sweet. For sure the boy you would want to bring home to your parents. 

“I would like that.” I look at him through my lashes.

So that’s how we spend the next hour, him teaching my chords to songs he knows. Sometimes he sings the song quietly, and I will join in if I know the song. He tells me it’s hard to play and sing at the same time, and I know from playing the ukulele that’s true. So I learn an easy song, then we get me to sing it. He sings it with me so I don’t feel so self-conscious.

Our voices sound good together, and my music is really something I don’t usually share with people. It makes me feel really close to him. We for sure are connecting, I just don’t know if it is the way we should be. It feels a little more friendly than anything, and I am starting to think he is feeling the same way. 

Well, I was thinking that, but then he pressed his lips against mine. It was soft and didn’t escalate because the guitar was sitting on my lap. His mouth wasn’t as soft as Penelopes and didn’t taste as good as her. It was for sure different. I don’t think it is a good different.

The kiss goes without tongue, and it is sweet and gentle, just like Landon. There is no real spark there. Nothing like there was with Penelope.

When we pull away, his face looks in deep thought. Mine most likely matches his, thinking that about how nothing seems to compare to her. 

I hope he didn’t feel the spark. I hope he knows that it felt a little wrong. Like kissing your friend. 

We look at each other, waiting for the other to speak. He rubs his face before pretending like nothing happening, instructing me on the next chords.

The next 15 minutes are filled with tension and not the good kind. Not the kind that Penelope and I had. It’s awkward, and our eye contact is minimal. We focus on the logistics of playing the guitar. It reaches a point where I can’t handle it anymore.

“Landon, I think I am going to go.” My voice is soft.

“Uhhh, yeah sure.” He gets up rather quickly.

He strides across the room and opens the door for me. Once I finally reach the door, we stand in that awkward limbo once again. Both unsure of what to do or what the other is feeling, we both go into a hug. Again its friendly, and I know its not only me giving off the vibe.

We leave and with that I shuffle back into my room, hoping that Lizzie is asleep and Hope is gone so I don’t need to give them a play by play on the date. It was a good date but I didn’t feel anything romantic towards him. I didn’t feel that pull.

I release a breath when I walk into my room and Lizzie is asleep and Hope is nowhere to be found. I quietly change before falling onto my bed.

Right before I am about to close me eyes, my phone screen lights up. I reach over to see its a text from Landon. I quickly open the text, nervous for what it is going to say.

It read: I had a really fun time, but I could tell that what we had was more friendly than anything. I can tell you think the same too. I do really enjoy spending time with you, and you for sure are going to come over for more guitar lessons. :)

I smile at the text, happy he feels the same way. Happy that I didn’t have to deny him again. Glad that my feelings came across. 

My smile continues as I type out my response: Glad we felt the same way. And I would love to further our friendship. Thanks for understanding me.

And then my smile turns into a frown. God damn Penelope Park. She is the reason why I couldn’t get romantic with him. I was thinking about her the whole time. I can’t get her out of my head. I can’t help but compare her to him.

Fucking Penelope Park ruined me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE WAIT. 
> 
> please comment thoughts


	12. Relapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope's thoughts towards the date.
> 
> Can Penelope win Josie back?

Penelope’s POV

With me waiting alone in my room, biting my nails and aimlessly passing, you would think I am the one on the date. To an outsider viewer it may look like that, but trust me this is not excited nerves. This is not the good butterflies. It’s more being on the verge of puke.

Why am I so nervous? Easy. Josie Saltzman is going on her date with Landon today. Well actually in the next couple of minutes. Don’t worry I am not some creep watching her every move, I just know through Hope. Hope is helping her get ready.

Which is weird, right? Helping your old crush get ready to go on a date with your ex-boyfriend. Or, helping your friend go on a date while your other best friend is moping around over the loss of that said friend. It’s just weird okay?

I wouldn’t say I am mad a Hope though. She is a loyal friend, and because she and Josie have gotten closer, that means she is loyal to Josie too now. Plus, Hope promised me to give me some details about before the date and after. But if the date goes well, I don’t think I will want to know anyways.

So right now, Hope and Lizzie are probably doing Josie’s hair, preparing her for a date she is looking forward to. They probably giggle about the giddy feeling that Josie is feeling right now. Gushing over Landon, saying how great the date is going to be. I kinda wish him and Hope ended badly because I know she is only saying good things about it. Sadly, those things are true and give something to Josie that I could not.

Jesus, I really need to be high. I debate on smoking right now, but Hope asked me to wait for her. Plus, I have a feeling that being high and alone might just make it worse.

I know that Josie will likely have a good time. I could see Josie and Landon together, but I wouldn’t tell anyone that. Landon will probably plan this big thing to impress her. This big romantic gesture. Something I would never do because I am a coward. Putting yourself out there like that, it’s just not something I do anymore. Yeah, I know I sound like a pathetic little kid. It’s rather embarrassing that Landon is currently braver than I am.

If they start dating or not, I think it would be good for me to talk to Josie. In all honesty, if I was not a loser, I would tell her how I feel. Like really feel. Not that I miss fucking her, but that I miss every part of her. I miss her caring smile, her pouty lips, her big eyes, her soft hands, her soothing voice, her gentle touch. I just miss everything. Just being in her presence. I miss being someone that she liked. Someone that she wanted to spend time with. Now I am the last person she wants to see, and that dramatic change is a little too much for my heart to handle.

Fuck. I need to get out of this room.

I slink out of my room, throwing a text to one of my minions to see if they want to hang. They say they are just chilling in the main area of the school so I meet them. I really not in the mood to talk, but at least they won’t talk about Josie like Hope or MG would. I just need to get my mind off it.

I sit with them on the stairs, talking about useless crap. Talking about who slept with who, and who is mad at who. It’s hard to keep listening to this gossip, but I put a tiny false interest in it. I don’t want to be distant enough where they start asking questions. I am not in the mood for that.

I eventually fully tune out of the conversation, letting my eyes wander around the open area, and boy was that a mistake.

I make direct eye contact with Josie, who is walking far too close to Landon. I can tell that my face is doing a horrible job of hiding my emotions but I don’t care. I don’t care that I look pathetic. I really don’t.

The worst part is Josie once again is unbothered. Her face is straight, hiding emotions. Her stare is intense though like she is lost in some sort of trance. I chalk that up as a win because I could use a few more of those recently.

It feels like hours that we are just starring at each other, but in reality, it’s mere seconds. Josie finally snaps out of it and looks back to Landon with her sweet smile and that sends pain right to my chest. She used to look at me like that. Now she looks at him like that. I truly have been replaced.

I wait until they leave the room, and I stand to my wobbly legs. I mumble some excuse as to why I am leaving, and I head up to my room. Hope said that she would come to see me when it’s done, and I know she won’t be too long because she is alone with Lizzie. And honestly, who wants to be alone with Lizzie.

I plop myself down on the bed, doing my best to control my breathing. I can feel emotions threatening to bubble over, or maybe the more accurate description is explode.

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

Deep breaths.

It’s fine. I am fine. It’s just a date. It’s just Josie going on a date with Landon. Not a big deal. Just the one girl you ever really liked is going on a date with a guy she will for sure hit it off with. No problem. Just the repercussions of you fucking up again.

Now I feel my eyes water, and it makes me feel worse. Penelope Park does not cry. I tighten my jaw and rub my heads through my hair. My breathing is slowing, but not before a few tears leave my face.

Once I am fully calm, I walk over to the mirror. Fixing the small mistakes in my makeup from the tears. I don’t want Hope thinking I have been trying.

I not so patiently wait for Hope to come, and eventually, I hear her knock. I just shout to her, letting her know I am in here, and she enters.

God, that face. She looks guilty and empathetic.

“Judging by your face, it looks like bad news for me,” I grumble, and I am shocked by how horse my throat is. Probably from the crying and heavy breathing. I hope she doesn’t notice.

“I wouldn’t say that. It wasn’t like she was jumping up for joy. She seemed neutral.” Hope shrugs, still intensely looking at me, reading my face.

The pout that has been on my lips for the last couple of hours remains the same, “Let’s just hope it goes terrible.” I grumble.

Hope just signs before responding, “By book sure, they make sense. But you never know if they will have that chemistry. I don’t think she will be able to feel that pull she felt towards you honestly. You managed to turn to innocent Josie Saltzman into a sex-crazed fiend. I’m sure he won’t be able to do that for her.” Hope smiles at the connection Josie and I have. Well had.

The amount of emotions I feel from hearing that sentence is rather overwhelming. I feel a little proud firstly, that others can see how much Josie was needy for me. I feel a little nostalgic thinking back to that time. I feel relieved that Hope things that Landon can’t do it for Josie, I mean his ex would know right? But most importantly, I still feel stressed, upset, nervous and like a fucking idiot.

These feelings are a lot to handle, so instead of figuring them out or talking about them with Hope, I decide to do what I usually do. Keep it all pent up inside and smoke some weed.

“I hope so. Okay. Weed time.” I stand to get the box snuck underneath my bed. I roll the joint even though Hope always says she is better at it, claiming she has better accuracy being a werewolf and all. I usually shrug her off and tell her that experience matters most. And sometimes I’ll include that I am really good with my fingers and add a wink in there. But today, I am not in the mood for any joking banter. Luckily Hope understands that and allows me to roll the joint without complaining.

We share the j, passing it around every couple of hits. When it finally starts burning out, I smash it against the floor and put it in the garbage.

Oh, this weed is good. I for sure am high and I can tell my Hopes squinting and reddening eyes she is feeling it do.

When it comes to being high, there are a few versions. There is the giggly high that rarely comes out, and is only for Hope and MG to see. Then I have the quiet high where I just focus on the feelings of my body and my head. It’s somewhat boring for others around me. Then I have the lovey high, which is even rarer than the giggly high. It has happened a couple of times with Hope, and we just end up cuddling and falling asleep. I 100% know that would be the type of high I would be with Jojo. She already brings it out of sober me. Then you have just the chill and vibing Penelope. That’s the most common.

Right now I feel like that Penelope. But then my mind starts racing. I start thinking about Josie. What is she doing right now? Is she enjoying the date? Is she thinking about me? Is she kissing him? Does she want him as she wants me?

My mind feels like there are 100 voices shouting at it, and being high does not help at all. It just makes it worse. I grow anxious and I start playing with my hands, avoiding all eye contact from Hope.

“Are you okay Pen?” Hope lazily says, but her face has some genuine concern to it.

I huff and rub my hands over my face. Breathe.  
“I really like her Hope. I don’t think I can watch her be with someone else again.” My voice is quiet and it sounds tentative. Weak.

“I know, but she just needs time. You really hurt her and the wounds need to heal.” She explains, proud of how wise she is sounding.

“What if she never forgives me though. And I just have to watch her move on and forget all the feelings she had. She essentially is already doing that.” I complain, my voice sounding whiny at the end.

“You don’t know that. I honestly think Josie is putting up a front. She wants to seem like she doesn’t care but she really does.” She hypothesizes. I hope she is right, but I don’t think she has enough proof. Just a loose theory.

I don’t feel like responding anymore. I don’t feel like talking anymore for that matter. I just sit back and close my eyes, leaning my head against the side of my bed. I don’t know how long I stay like that, but it feels like a long time.

When I finally open my eyes, Hope is typing away on her phone, smiling at the phone. Looking giddy.

“Is that Josie?” I ask. Sounding super obvious, not caring that I am anything but subtle right now.

“No.” She says, not even looking up from her phone.

I move to stand up and quickly change into my pyjamas. I crawl into my bed and under the sheets before Hope has noticed any movement.

“I think I am going to sleep. You can stay if you want.” I mumble, already losing to my tired state. Being freak out and almost having anxiety awake really wears you out.

“Yeah, I’ll stay.” She gets up and finds some clothes that will fit her.

So that is how my night ends. Me, high laying in bed next to Hope who is still glued to her phone. My night ends with wondering how the hell Josie’s night is going. Hopefully horrible.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Waking up was hard. I didn’t really want to face the day. I am too worried to see Josie and Landon holding hands in the halls or kissing. Hope is gone, which isn’t a surprise. She probably went to go train.

When I finally do roll out of bed, I add some extra effort to my look. I want her to see what she is missing. I wear my white crop top that I know she likes. Josie wasn’t subtle with her staring. And to finish off the look, black pants and a bow choker.

Now it’s time to face my impending doom.

Most of the day has gone by, and I have seen neither Landon or Josie, which I don’t know is a good sign of not. Hope also texted me that she didn’t know how the date went because Josie woke up before Lizzie and they haven’t seen each other all day. So, the mystery and my misery continue.

Now I know that this is the moment I find out. My defence class with Josie. I am sure I’ll hear her talking about her perfect date with people in the locker room. I can already picture the girls giddily screaming over it now. Puke.

When I enter the locker room, it's quiet. More than it usually is. My eyes immediately go to Josie, who is facing away from me. I know better than to walk right up to her and ask. That would just encourage her to exaggerate how the date went.

I get dressed cautiously on the other side of the room, glancing at Josie every so often. When Josie finally turns around, allowing me to see her face, it shocks me. She looks pissed. Like livid.

I have no idea how to take that. Good sign?

Her eyes lock with mine, and her lips press in a straight line, her eyes burn into mine so intensely that I choose to break the eye contact. Yes, Josie just outpowered me.

She doesn’t look at me for the rest of the class until the teacher makes an announcement, “Okay, so now I want guys to practice hand to hand combat, but with no powers. You never know what can happen.” He nodded at the students, holding this list in his hands. “Of course, I am going to pair you up with by species and weight class. This will be your partner whenever we do one on one fighting.”

He begins reading of the pairs, and I tune out, not really caring who is going to beat the hell out of who. I do perk up at my name and what comes after it is either a gift from the gods or karma for me being a bitch.

“Penelope and Josie.”

Josie’s eyes falter from her anger, but they turn back to rage as we both stand up to sit next to each other.

Holy fuck, Josie Saltzman is going to beat the shit out of me.

I tune out all of the rules that the instructor is saying, too focused on what will happen in a few moments. I have to fight Josie. I have to touch her and pin her down. Oh god.

We first start with punches, and Josie and I exchange no words until I am the one holding up the pads and she is punching.

Her punches are hard and sloppy. She for sure is angry. I am not surprised when her punch misses and it lands on my unprotected forearm. It does sting a little but nothing I can’t handle.

“Don’t punch so sloppy. Relax your hands and don’t follow through as much.” I teach her.

I realize that was the wrong move as her frown somehow turns even more downward and her eyebrows pinch together in annoyance.  
“How about you don’t tell me what to do.” She says in between punches, which just so happens to be cleaner, with less of a follow-through.

I can’t stop myself. I am a dick and I am used to these one-line comebacks. Can you blame me? “You used to like it before.” I tease.

Her face goes red, but this time not with anger, but with embarrassment, just like it used to. I made her blush and I can’t help but smile.

She regains her composure rather quickly before responding, “Yeah, but that was before you fucked up.” Her voice is laced with venom.

Well, way to kill the mood, Saltzman. Way to kick me when I am down. It kinda feels like a shot to the chest, and when those words leave her mouth, my stomach twists. It just makes me realize that this chase is useless. SHe is done, Landon or not. I fucked up to a point of no return so I just accept that.

The worst part is when we get to the floor. It is essentially one of us straddling and pinning down the other. This position is familiar, i want to say but I know it will just make things worse.

Josie chooses to be the first to be on top. God, there are so many sexual thoughts going in my head I think it might explode. I sit on the floor, preparing myself to lie on the mat, but she doesn’t give me the chance. She pushes me somewhat roughly by the shoulder, pinning me to the group and swinging her leg over. It fries my brain. Actually destroys it. I stare up at her with wide eyes and an open mouth, and I can tell by her smirk she did it on purpose. She maintains eye contact and she grabs my wrists and pins them above my head, causing our faces to be rather close. Both of our breathing is laboured, and we both know it’s not from the workout.

When I make no movement to try to get out, she gently squeezes my wrist. “We can stand lie here all day Pen.” And I freeze once again and she does too. That nickname sounds too intimate. Her voice was too soft like how it used to be.

We stared at each other for too long, so I decided to make the move. I plant my feet against the ground and snap my hips up, causing Josie to lose balance and fall forward. Her grip on my wrists loosens, allowing me to grab her arms quickly, and flip her over.

Oh, this may be worse. Now my hips are between Josie’s legs, putting pressure on her center, and just like she did, I am holding both of her wrists. Our bodies are flush together and we both our panting.

I can see Josie’s eyes which recently have been unreadable. I can see them darken and the lust within them, and I know mine matches. I really want to kiss her. Her lips look so inviting in their signature resting pout. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, and I know she sees me staring but I couldn’t give a fuck.

I put a little more weight on her, more specifically in the hip area. Is it rude? Yes. Is it cruel? Probably. Is it turning me on like crazy? Absolutely.

I can hear the quiet gasp that leaves her mouth and I groan internally at that. Holy shit I need to touch her.

Her hips shift a tiny bit underneath me, and the small amount of friction is enough to drive me wild. I close my eyes to compose myself. I would be rather embarrassed if she heard a whimper escape my lips.

I guess Josie saw me closing my eyes as a weakness as she freed her wrists and attempts to regain power. We wrestle on the floor for a short amount of time. We are pretty even, Josie being a little taller with longer limbs, but me being broader. I don’t know how we ended up like this, but my legs are wrapped around her thighs in a lock, with my arms doing the same thing, pinning her arms to herself.

She is lying on top of me, with her back to my front. My cheek is pressed to the back of her head, and although she is on top I am winning. She cannot move at all, and I give a little squeeze of my legs to show her that she is stuck.

Now we are both panting loudly, but now the physical exhaustion is also playing a role. Josie fights to get out of the grip I have on her, but eventually, her efforts slows and she gives up, allowing me to hold her.

“You ruined me, Penelope.” Her voice is a whisper and its shaky. It honestly tears me up inside because this is the first time she is even showing this emotion. She sounds so broken, and it hurts me so much to know I am the cause of her pain. Do I feel a little good knowing that she isn’t as unaffected as she acts? sure. But mostly I feel like shit. For ruining the sweet, innocent, loving Josie Saltzman.

My grip on her tightens on her as I attempt to comfort her. Her body is tense against me. She no longer melts into me how she used to. No longer lets herself relax around me. Her guard now is always up.

She struggles again to get out of my grip. I really should just unwrap her from my limbs, but for some reason, I don’t. I still hold her in place, and with each movement, she gets more frustrated. The angry facade quickly covers the hurt one I saw moments ago. She thrashes in my arms, moving her whole body side to side.

Then, I feel like I have been hit in the face with a bowling ball. I was half expecting to hear a loud crack of my nose, but I am relieved when nothing comes. In the middle of Josie's trying to get loose, she threw her head back. Right on my nose.

Fuck. It hurts like a bitch, and a grunt leaves my lips at the contact. My nose is still pressed to the back of Josie’s head, and I already know I have a bloody nose. My nose is weaved into her hair so I am totally bleeding all in her hair. Oops.

It takes her a moment to realize what happened, and now that I am no longer gripping her, she bolts to stand.

With her doe eyes, she manages to look even more like a deer caught in headlights. With her eyes wide and her mouth slightly agape, she speaks in a high pitched voice, “Shit. Penelope are you okay?”

It is so fucking stupid that my heart swells at that. Of course, she is asking you if you are okay. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t hate you. It just means she’s a nice human being that checks if someone is okay after given them a bloody nose.

Still, on the ground, I move my hand to my nose to check for the blood. I already know its there because I can feel it against my lips. It really is bleeding bad.

“It’s fine,” I mumble as I sit up, holding my nose to try and stop Niagara falls from coming out my nose.

Josie worryingly looks over towards the teacher, calling him over. When he is walking over, Josie kneels next to me, gently gripping my chin, “Move your hand. Let me see.” Her touch is gentle but her voice isn’t.

I remove my hand and I see her visibly wince. She moves my face around, getting views on all different angles. She gently touches it with her fingers, running her smooth fingertips along the bridge of my nose. I just stare dumbly into her eyes, lost in them.

Josie’s eyebrows are pinched together in focus and her tongue peeks out of her lips. God, she is so beautiful. Her features are just so soft and smooth.

“I don’t think it’s broken.” She claims, removing her hands from my face, and I almost want to whimper at the loss of contact.

Mr. Terry comes over to check my damage. He looks at my nose, doing a few tests which are a lot less pleasant than Josie’s. After making sure that it’s not broken, he sends me and Josie into the change room. He tells Josie to make sure I am okay, and that we are done for today.

We silently walk to the change room. Once we reach the room, we awkwardly stand there, unsure of what to do.

Josie without a word is rushing off and returns with toilet paper. I kinda hoped she would clean me up, but she just hands me the toilet paper instead, making me do it myself. If we were still together I would tell her that she should take care of me because she hurt me, and I would probably add a pout just to accentuate the point.

With the toilet paper shoved in my nose, I mumble to her, “I think I got some blood in your hair. You might want to shower.”

She stands for a second. Looking like she is weighing her options. She runs her finger through the back of the hair on her head to only return with red painting her fingertips.

I give her a sheepish smile, “Sorry.”

Her response is immediate, “You shouldn’t be the one saying sorry. I am the one who did this.”

I guess I’ll take that as an apology, I think it’s the best I am going to get.

She shifts her weight to her other foot, “Well, I am going to shower.”

I just nod my head as she walks in the other direction, disappearing being the wall towards the showers.

So Josie is naked in the same room as me. The thought kind of drives me wild so I do my best to distract myself with my nose situation.

I guess I do a good job because Josie’s shower seems incredibly fast. I hear her water turn off, and what I see next floors me.

Josie in just a towel.

I don’t hide the way my eyes travel to the exposed skin. Her legs, God those legs. So long and smooth. My eyes trail up to her top half, and they laser in on the tiny amount of cleavage I can see. I feel like a pervy teenage boy, but I can't help it. She is the hottest person ever.

Josie just stands there, staring at me.

I don’t know what drives me to do it, but I start undressing. I have to anyways to get back into my everyday clothes, might as well do it now.

I lift the shirt over my head, and just like last time, Josie’s eyes fall to my chest. This time, I am wearing a sports bra. It might not be as attractive as my lacy bras, but doing sports in a bra is a big no no for me.

Her eyes once again darken, and I know I have hooked her. I smirk at my win as I slowly pull down my shorts, making sure to make a show out of it.

Her eyes fall to the lower half. I don’t know if there is a damp spot on my underwear but with how Josie's staring at it with such hunger makes me believe I have one.

I want to tease her. Say a line like ‘my eyes are up here.’ or ‘See something you like?’ but I am too worried it will scare her off. I get Josie’s eyes to flicker back to my chest as I push down one strap, followed by the other.

I reach around my back to undo the snap. And just as it comes off, Josie snaps.

“Fuck this.” She mostly huffs to herself and she barrels towards me. Maybe I would be scared if I wasn’t so turned on.

When she finally reaches me, she grabs me by my hips, causing me to gasp. She looks at me for a second before diving towards my neck.

As soon as her lips my contact with my neck I let out a loud groan, “Fuck, Josie.”

My hands find purchase on her towel-covered back, and I know I can’t continue without touching her bare skin. With a skilled flick of my wrist, her towel falls to the floor, exposing her to me.

She is so fucking hot, it drives me insane. This is a sensory overload and she hasn’t even touched me. When I finally touch the bare skin of her back, I sigh in relief.

God, I missed this. It feels so fucking good to have her touch me. It’s like I have been in a desert for years and she is my water. It feels so good I am worried I am going to faint. And touching her drives me equally as wild. Feeling her soft skin underneath my hands. I missed her so much that I feel like I could cry.

“I missed this.” I gasp as she bites softly on my pulse point. I know it’s dangerous waters to say something that intimate but I can’t help myself. She makes me so soft. In all honesty, I want to say I missed you, but I feel like it’s too much too soon.

Her lips stop moving on my neck, and fear hits my stomach hard. Oh god, I fucked up again. Just when she was touching me, and we were getting along, I ruined it.

“Shut up and fuck me.” Josie basically growls, and the change in emotions gives me whiplash.

Well, of course, I cannot deny Josie, especially that request. I grab the back of her neck, bringing my lips close to hers, but she turns to the slide, making me miss her lips.

Oh. She doesn’t want to kiss me.

I won’t deny that fucking hurts. She just wants me to fuck her. No emotions, no care, no intimacy. It’s because that’s how she sees me. She is only sexually attracted to me, and will never want anything more. This makes it blatantly obvious to me. I feel stupid. But I am going to stop because she won’t kiss me. Fuck no. I have craved for this far too long and far too much to stop now.

So instead of sulking at our different wants, I go to attack her neck. I want to leave marks. I want her to remember this, and I want everyone to know what happened.

While kissing her neck, I walk her back towards the counter. We fall back into our perfect chemistry as I lift her on the counter as she gracefully jumps, never disconnecting my lips from her neck.

I step between her legs, grabbing the top of her ass to push her flush against me. God, I forgot how perfect her ass is.

She whimpers at the contact to her bare core, and I growl in response. I missed those little needy whimpers way too much.

I roll my hips slowly against her, not giving her what she truly wants. I debate on doing this the whole time until she begs, but I am worried she will just leave if I push it too far.

So being the smart person I am, I run one of my hands up her soft thighs, spreading her even wider for me. When I finally make contact with her, she is soaking. Like dripping wet.

It never ceases to amaze me how much her reactions turn me on. She moans loud at the first contact, throwing her head back, and therefore, pushing her chest towards me.

I take that as an invitation to take her rosy nipple into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it. I push my fingers inside her at the same time, and she rewards me with a whiny, “Penelope.”

I really missed her saying my name like that, rather than like she does now. Like it is some curse.

I know that we don’t have a lot of time, so I set a fast pace. I curl my fingers to find that spot that makes her eyes roll to the back of her head. When I finally detach from her nipple, I put my face close to hers, watching her reactions.  
Her face is twisted in pleasure but she keeps her eye contact with me, even though she is struggling to not close her eyes in bliss.

I inch my face closer, essentially begging her to kiss me. I just stare at her lips, and it lasts way too long. Just when I am about to pull away and give up on the kiss, she gips the back of m neck and crashes our lips together.

Would it be stupid to say that this feels better than sex? Probably.

The taste of her lips is something that I thought maybe I would never taste again. So getting to taste it, I realize that if I were to die now, I would die happy. The kiss throws me off so much that the rhythm finger falters. When Josie opens her mouth, allowing me to explore it with my tongue, my hands totally stop. And to my surprise, Josie doesn’t complain. She just kissing me with so much passion that it lights a hope inside me. Maybe she does want this as much as I do.

So I pull out my hand from inside of her, moving it to grab her jaw, allowing myself to be more invested in the kiss. Yes, I Penelope Park pulled my fingers out of Josie Saltzman just so I could kiss her more intimately.

Who the fuck does that?

The kiss turns into something very slow and gentle, and I can tell it’s too intimate for Josie. She pulls away, and I chase her lips for a few more kisses before I allow her to create a distance. We are both staring wildly at each other, panting like crazy.

She slowly grabs one of my hands, and trails back down to her dripping slit. I don’t hesitate to start again. Easily find her clit, and rubbing tight circles into it until her breathy whines turns into loud monas. Then I enter her again, setting a fast pace, loving that I can feel her warm velvety insides pulse around my fingers. She puts her hands on the counter, giving herself leverage so she can basically fuck herself on my hand.

I can’t stop myself from staring at her pussy greedily taking my fingers. God, she looks so delicious.

Without another thought about the dirtiness of the floors, I drop to my knees to be greeted by one of my favourite sights. Josie all ready for me. Pretty, pink and soaked.

I must stare for too long because Josie wraps her fingers into my hair and pushes me forward. I take a broad lick, trying to drink her up as much as I can.

I stick my tongue fully into her, wanting to taste her at the source. She is just as sweet as I remember, and I moan into her. The vibrations must hit her just right because she tugs on my hair, causing me to moan again and get somehow hornier.

I need to see her cum. I pull my tongue out of her, just to fill her with my fingers, allowing my lips to wrap around her bundle of nerves a suck gently.

“Fuck, Penelope.” She rubs against my face, and I know she is close. Her movements against my face become so erratic that I am worried my nose will bleed again. That worry doesn’t last too long as she tenses up seconds after, finally succumbing to the pleasure. She moans out an excessive amount of curse words. Which is extremely hot coming from Josie’s innocent mouth. I make sure to watch her as she comes, looking at her face twisted in pleasure as she calls out my name. 

I make sure I clean her up through the orgasm, making sure I can taste her as much as I can. I am too worried this will be the last time. I have to make the most of it. When she relaxes, I climb up her body and pull her in for a lazy kiss. I want her to taste herself on me. I want her to know she's a part of me.

She breaks the kiss, and just with another peck on my lips, she jumps off the counter and moves towards her clothes, putting them back on. I stand there, leaning against the counter not sure what to do.

I am a little amazed by what happened and a little confused. What does this mean for us? I want to ask but again I know that will just make her run.

The date with Landon must have been shit if she just let me fuck her like that. God, she was so needy. 

“I take it the date didn’t go well.” I cockily say. Still pretty proud I got to fuck her again.

Josie looks somewhat annoyed with my response, looking like she remembered that she isn’t supposed to like me. Remembered how I fucked up.

“Fuck off Penelope.” She groans as she storms out of the room.

She does sound mad, but I don’t miss the small smile that leaves her face when she leaves.

And just like that, I have hope again.

I am going to win you back Josie Saltzman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYYY GUYS!
> 
> This is a super long chapter and I hope you liked it.
> 
> I constantly check your comments, and it makes my day :)  
> Please keep commenting.
> 
> Tell me what you want to see next. I actually listen.
> 
> Follow up question: Would you forgive Penelope?


	13. Think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinda a slow chapter, just giving you insight on Josie's feelings.

Josie’s POV

Penelope Park is truly Satan. I feel like she charmed me again into going for her. She’s the forbidden apple and I am Eve.

It’s honestly like I have no control over it. My mind is saying one thing and my body just screams out for her. 

But, oh God did it feel good. It felt electrifying to be touched by her again. Somehow she was better in every way that I remembered. Her movements were precise, yet relaxed. Soft yet rough. It really was just everything I needed. 

I feel bad I didn’t get to touch her, not because I feel bad she didn’t get off, but because I wanted to feel her. I wanted to make her cum screaming my name. I wanted that control over her, that I seemly so easily just hand to her instead.

So, now heading back to my room after being thoroughly fucked my Penelope, my head is a little foggy. It’s a mixture of lust, relief, regret, and anger. And maybe, just maybe, a little bit of fondness.

Sure Penelope is an ass. She fucked up big and she just wants me to fuck, but I find it progressively harder to hate her. Even when we were practicing fighting, she was soft with me. She reacted to every movement I made, and when she held me in the lock, it felt nice. But she doesn’t need to know that. 

It’s hard to explain this mayhem occurring in my mind. The only way I am fathoming it is that maybe I like and want her, but I wish I didn’t. With Landon, it was the opposite. I really wished I liked him in that way because we would have been great together. He would have treated me right, communicated with me and just be caring. But, we didn’t have that pull and that I and she have.

Landon is like the vegetables that you don’t want to eat but you know you should because they are good for you. Then, Penelope is the dessert that you crave, but you know it isn’t healthy for you. How I see it right now is that dessert is fine in moderation. Maybe I shouldn’t eat it every day, but once or twice a week wouldn’t hurt.

I know that is might be dangerous to play in this grey area with her. Honestly, no matter what I or Penelope do or not do, this is not going to end well. It was doomed since day one. So, if the ending is always going to be the same, might as well have some fun with it. 

So, I think I am going to continue to fuck Penelope Park, but this time, no intimacy. No hope of things going further, no hope of her being a decent human being. I just had too high expectations going in last time, but now I know.   
Once I finally reach my room, I stand there lost for a moment. Now what. Everyone is in class and I feel like I really should talk to someone about this. My mind goes straight to Hope. Of course, I am not going to drag her out of class, but I shoot her a text asking if she is free after to talk.

I don’t get a reply back but instead is given a knocking on my door. At first, I am worried it’s Penelope wanting to talk. I honestly don’t want to talk. Talking makes things real and makes me have to let down my walls to her. I am not willing to do that. Not anymore.

I sigh of relief leaves my lips when I open the door and a frazzled looking Hope is on the other side. 

Wait did she run here? 

“What happened to do you? Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” I tilt my head in confusion, taking in her flustered state.

“I’m fine. Just…. Training.” She says as if it’s a question. I know she is probably hiding something so I don’t know if I should push or not. I decide against it when I realize if there was something going on that was important she would tell me. 

“Uhhh, okay. Do you want to come in.” I question as I open the door further.

She just nods and steps in, walking into the center of my room before swiftly turning around and looking at me expectantly, “So what did you need to tell me?”

I pace around the room a bit. Now that I am going to have to say it out loud, it starting to sound like a mistake. It probably shouldn’t have happened.

“So Penelope and I had sex. Like 10 minutes ago.” I mumble, not making eye contact with Hope. I feel awkward talking to her about sex, and I can tell by her face, so is she.

Her face then lets out a proud smile, “That’s good. So you are guys like back together.” She looks excited at the potential of Penelope and me.

“No. We didn’t talk. I don’t know. I kind of got lost in the moment. I don’t know what to do.” I grumble, running my hands through my hair.

Hope guides me to sit on my bed, and she lazily plops down next to me. 

“Look. It’s all about what you want and how you are feeling.” She turns to me, giving me her full attention.

“Well, I don’t know what I want. All I know is that I like having sex with her. I want that to continue but I don’t know if I want all the added drama.” I explain myself. 

“Do you think that’s fair to either of you though? If you guys just fuck buddies and not even friends?” She questions.

I groan. When did things become so confusing? I just need easy. 

“I don’t know Hope. I really don’t. I am sure she will be fine with that. And I know I can handle myself. It will end but at least we can have some fun with it.”

Hope tenses at that. She suddenly looked a little annoyed. 

“Don’t do that.” Her eyebrows furrow.

“Do what?” 

“Pretend like you think Penelope doesn’t care about you. Pretend that she just wants you for a fuck. You know that’s not true.” Hope the voice is unsteady. She is upset. Maybe talking to Penelope’s best friend about this wasn’t a great choice.

“Well, how am I supposed to assume that. That’s a big assumption when she hasn’t said anything to lead me to believe she wants more.” Which is true. I know she not good at communicating but still. 

“You really are blind,” She huffs before continuing, “When you guys were seeing each other she was so much happier. She was so touchy with you, and I don’t mean in a sexual way. Penelope never gets cuddly with anyone. She has cuddled me twice when she was high. That is Penelope showing that she cares for you. You shouldn’t need words. Actions speak louder.” She rants. Wow, she really has been thinking about this.

“So what? She wants to be around me so I should assume that means she wants to date me? What a leap. Penelope doesn’t know how to communicate, which is a problem.” I defend myself.

“Well, you don’t give her the chance to talk. You have been so cold to her for weeks. What do you expect her to do?” Her voice is rising and I can feel the tension int he room raise as well.

“I don’t know Hope. Maybe I am not ready to talk yet.” 

“Yes, and that’s 100 percent fine. But you can’t lead her on my going around and fucking her. It’s not fair.” Hope’s hands are moving frantically as she speaks. 

She starts again before I can speak, “Either you know you want her and you go for it. Sure it can take time and you’ll both have to be patient. Or, if you don’t know what you want, you stop. You stop chasing her and you tell her it’s for sure over. No more touching, no more longing looks. Just allowing you to both moves on.”

I sit there silent for a moment, truly taking in what Hope just said. I guess she is right. I shouldn’t lead her on if that is even what I am doing. I just can’t picture our relationship. Again, I know it will be messy, but I guess I am somewhat a patient person. The one thing I do know for sure is I don’t know if I can stop feeling this pull towards her. I am always going to want to touch her, kiss her and taste her. I don’t think that is going away. Now, I have to decide if I can live with having that feeling but not being able to ever act on it again. 

Hope seems to be watching me lost in thought, her voice is so soft its soothing when she speaks to me again, “Josie, go for what you want. Stop playing safe and take a risk.”

And Penelope is that risk. Penelope is everything I stayed away from. Penelope is like that toy in the store that I never asked for because I knew it was too expensive. She is what I wanted but couldn’t have. Or at least what I felt like I shouldn’t have.

But maybe I can have her. 

I feel like crying. I am so overwhelmed by all these feelings. 

“Fuck,” I whine out, feeling the tears glass over my eyes.

I throw myself to lie down on the bed. I throw my arms over to cover my face. I tell myself to breathe and calm down. I don’t want to cry in front of hope.

But more importantly, I don’t want to cry over Penelope.

I take a few more steady breaths before trusting my voice to not sound pathetic as I speak, “It’s just hard. It is so out of my comfort zone.” 

I feel the weight of the bed shift, and I know that means Hope has flopped to lie down next to me. 

“It’s out of her comfort zone too. But that is what starting a relationship is. It’s taking a chance.” Hope attempts to convince me. The worst part is I can’t tell if it is working or not. 

“But I just don’t think we would work together like long distance or anything serious. I just can’t see it.” I try to justify my confusion. I just can’t picture Penelope being anyone's girlfriend, let alone mine. And, I don’t even know if she really wants that. She might think she does but she could change her mind any second.   
“There’s a difference between not wanting a relationship and not being able to visualize it. If you don’t want a relationship with her, then you have to tell her and stop leading her on.” Hope voice has undertones of fierceness to it, but I know the driver behind it is loyalty so I can’t be mad.

“I just need time to think,” I mumble. This for sure will take a lot of thinking. Maybe even a pros and cons list? An organized brainstorm?

“She will wait.” Hope replies and it does warm my heart a little. Although it is not coming straight from Penelope, the thought of her waiting for me is sweet. Maybe that feeling I am feeling right now can go on the pro list. 

“Just don’t hook up with her before you decide.” Hope demands and she stands from the bed, heading to the door. 

“Okay, Mom.” I joke, my mood feeling much lighter.

“I’m serious.” Hope shouts from a distance as she leaves the room. 

And once again, all those good feelings come crashing down again. It is time to think.

Time to decide if Penelope is worth it. Time to decide if she can handle what I want, or hell, if she even wants what I want. 

It makes my mind go to overdrive, and I am not in the mood to deal with it. And just like most teenagers, I avoid the problem by taking a nap.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------  
I thank the lords that it is the start of the weekend, so I don’t have to start my day wrestling with Penelope. It gives me the perfect time to think. Especially since Lizzie has been out of my hair, which is out of character. I would probably look more into it if I didn’t have a problem myself. Plus, she seems happier.

So, this weekend, instead of doing my schoolwork, hanging with friends or going to a party, I am going to be planning a life decision. I guess if I even take a risk it will be calculated. But in my opinion, this shouldn’t be some impulse that I act on. Impulse is for pleasure, not for happiness.

Which brings me to the center of the argument. Was I feeling happiness with Pen, or was I just blinded by pleasure. Happiness is a long term, it is feeling content. It’s hard to look back and remember, especially remember it without her fucking it up and the end. 

I guess if I was comparing it to right now, I was happier back then. But there were a lot of factors in play. I was having secretive good sex with my gorgeous crush and I was over the worst part of a breakup. And if you compare it to how I am feeling now, of course, I feel worse. Penelope fucked up and hurt me. I miss the sex and intimacy that she gave. But do I miss her?

I guess Penelope is all the feeling I felt for her. Penelope is the sex, and that intimacy, and that warmth. I wanted to be around her all the time. But do I still do?

I must admit it’s like a magnet pull I have towards her, but is it only sexual now? Do I want to hold her hand, cuddle with her and share soft and tender kisses? I honestly don’t know.

I like being 100%, and right now, I am not even close. No matter how many situations and simulations I go through in my head, it doesn’t make me sure. I can assume I will feel a certain way, but I won’t know until I try it.

And that scares me. I have to bite a berry to see if it’s poisonous. There’s no test, trials or redos. It is making that commitment to whatever choice I make. And that scares the shit out of me.

I haven’t even thought about the conversation that has to go down. What the fuck do I say? What will she say?

My mind is swimming for the entire day, and it is probably the slowest day of all time. When I venture out of my room to go for a walk and clear my head, I am met with a group of girls I instantly recognize.

Shit. That means she can’t be far. 

I want to run. I feel like I am being asked to fight a lion with no training. I haven’t fully prepared to face this. 

I do my best to walk with my head down, avoiding them at all costs. I can hear the distant whispers as I shuffle by, but luckily I don’t hear her voice.

Just when I think that I am home free, I feel a gentle soft hand wrap around my wrist, and I can tell by the tingles it sends up my entire body that it’s Penelope.

“Jojo?” She asks, slowing me down to a halt.

Oh god. This is way too soon.

I slowly turn around and am greeted by a nervous and worried-looking Penelope, and it is one of the cutest things I have ever seen. I get lost looking at her for a moment too long, she lightly tugs on my wrist again to get my attention. Little does she know she always has all my attention.

“Hey.” God, why do I sound breathless.   
“Hi,” she smiles up at me. And just when I thought she couldn’t get cuter.

Focus Josie. You might have to have a real conversation with her, don’t get lost in her looks. If you are going to remember the pros, you have to remember the cons too.

We remain through a few beats of silence, neither wanting to choose the direction of the conversation. I know I don’t want to have a conversation because it's too soon, and Penelope is probably worried I will runoff. 

I can tell that is a fear of hers with how she touched me. It was hesitant at times, worried that one wrong touch would send me running for the hills. She should know very well by now that once I am in the grasp of Penelope Park I tend to not want to get out.

Penelope starting chewing on the inside of her mouth and running her hands through her hair. Oh, she really is nervous.

“I think we should talk.” Oh, I guess she was working up the courage to say that.

I almost say yes. I really do. I can feel it on the tip of my tongue but I stop it. I can’t have a real conversation now. I need time.

“Penelope, I’m not ready for the talk yet. I need time to think.” My voice is sweet, trying my best to not hurt her, or think that I am just making up excuses. 

Still, her face falls. I see the hope get squashed and it not only breaks me a little but causes me to panic a bit. She can’t think this is me saying no.

“This isn’t a no. I really do just need time.” Her face grows a little more hopeful.

“I can wait for as long as you need.” She casually says as if it isn’t the most romantic thing that has ever been said to me. Swoon.

I can’t help the smile that leaves my lips. I glance down at the ground, feeling too nervous to make eye contact. God, why do I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush.

I feel like kissing her right now, but I know that would be so wrong. I have to follow Hope’s advice. 

“Okay, I should get going then.” I stare down at my feet.

Penelope is still wrapped around my wrist, and she gives an affectionate squeeze before letting go. 

“Okay. I will see you around Jojo.”

And with that, I walk away from her. I really need this walk more than ever. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It has been a week. I have not talked to her in a week because I am still making up my mind. What if she can’t wait. What if she gets tired of waiting and starts fucking someone else.

I can’t help but worry. 

I have thought more about Pen and me, but the decision has yet to be made. It’s just a very serious choice, and I don’t want to make the wrong one.

This week has been hell for me. Trying to avoid her, but desperately wanting her to touch me again. After the locker room situation, I can’t stop thinking about her. She just turned the switch on so easily. 

I am not proud to admit that multiple times this week, I have gotten off with Penelope’s name on my lips. With the thought of her hands all over my body and her skillful tongue sending me over the edge. 

The sexual pull is still there, but to be fair, it always has been.

You can imagine the sexual pull I feel than at this moment.

Once again, I touch myself to the thought of her. I run my fingers through my center thinking of her. I set a face pace that I know is her signature. It feels good, but nothing can compare to her. I built myself up, bucking my hips into the heel of my palm.

My whimpers soon become moans, and those moans become broken swear words and Penelope’s name. 

I can feel my climax coming, the familiar tension is building in my gut. I screw my eyes shut, moments away from feeling a release that will not be satisfying. She is the only one that can do that.

“Fuck. Oh, Penelope.” I moan out, probably too loud, but I am too invested in this to particularly care. 

So, imagine my shock when I hear a door open to be only greeted by Penelope. You know, the girl's name who I was just screaming?

Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRRRRY for the long time to update. Super busy with school!
> 
> Please please please comment! Every single one makes my day and I am down to listen to suggestions. 
> 
> Love you!


	14. Holy Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope's POV to walking in on Josie touching herself

Penelope’s POV

Josie has been ignoring me all week. I know she needs time to think but it’s making me crazy. If she doesn’t want to be with me, I wish should we just put me out of my misery.

Hope has been no help either. Not telling me anything about Josie, just that she needs time to think. I feel anxious all the time, just waiting to feel a tap on my shoulder and find a guilty-looking Josie saying that she doesn’t want anything to do with me. It’s like every corner I turn, I flinch, waiting for her and her puppy dog eyes to be there with the bad news.

I gave her a week, and I know that’s not that long, but I legit am going crazy. I want to give her space, I really do, but it’s so hard. This anxiety pulls at my stomach 24/7, making me feel like I could throw up at any moment.

Of course, I am not going to make Jojo rush her decision, but I feel like if I talk to her, and maybe express how I am feeling, it will help her decide. I just can’t let her deny me if I had the chance to fight better. I want to fight for her, and maybe showing her my feelings is the best way to do that.

Throughout the week, I have been a coward and quickly deleted texts I planned to send to her or tried knocking at her door, but I become too scared and scamper off with my tail between my legs. 

I am such a pussy.

Well, I guess you are what you eat.

This time though, I am going to be brave. For Josie and for myself. She deserves this. 

I slowly walk down the hallway towards her room. I feel like I am walking to my execution. I feel like a dead man walking, and maybe I am. But I have to be strong. 

Once I reach her door, I hesitate like I always do. I wait a couple of beats of silence, working up the courage to knock. 

I hear faint mumbling in the room, and I immediately recognize it as Josie’s soft voice, rather than Lizzie’s shrill one. 

I can’t hear what is being said, but suddenly I perk up at my name. 

“Penelope.” I hear Josie groan. 

So she knows I am outside I guess. I have no idea how she knows. Maybe a spell that I have yet to learn?

For a moment I freak out and want to run away. Every bone in my body tells me to run, but I can’t do that to Josie. I got to show her I am dependable.

I take a deep breath to calm myself down before turning the doorknob and stepping into her room.

Holy.

Fuck.

I am greeted with the hottest sight ever. 

Josie is spread, essentially naked, across her bed with her fingers teasing herself. Her body is flush and her hair is dishevelled. Her face looks so shocked and mortified, all I can do is stare. But honestly, I don’t look at her face. I am too busy looking at her hand trapped between her thighs.

It probably only takes me a tiny second to shut the door behind me, but it feels like forever. I shut it with my foot, not wanting to turn away for a second and miss the sexiest sight in front of me. 

Wait. Why did she say my n-, oh! She was touching herself to me. God that is so hot. I don’t think I have been so horny my whole life and it really turned on like a switch. 0 to 100.

I feel like I should say something. Some snarky, sexy or funny remark, but I really can’t think of words right now. Actually, I can’t think of anything but Josie touching herself right in front of me.

Sadly, her thighs are closed together, blocking me from seeing her, but it is very obvious what she is doing. 

So for what feels like forever, I stand there, just staring at her with my mouth agape and my knees shakey. She just stares back at me, waiting for one of us to make a move.

I am way too turned on and shocked to do anything.

Eventually, she does something that almost makes me fall to my knees. 

She slowly spreads her legs for me, giving me a full view. 

Jesus Christ.

She is so wet, I can see the shine from here. I can see it painting her inner thighs and her swollen slit. She looks so God Damn delicious right now that I can feel my mouth water. 

I can’t help the groan that leaves my lips, and I put my hand on the wall for support, worried that I may faint at any second because come on, who wouldn’t.

Our breathing patterns match, both struggling to find air. Her hands continue, and her fingers start rubbing slow circles on her clit.

When her eyes flutter at the contact I just about lose my mind. I actually lose my mind when she whines out, “Please Pen.”

I don’t think I have ever been closer to cumming on the spot. I can already feel my panties are ruined but that is the least of my worries. 

With vampire-like speed, I am suddenly on top of Josie, with hands-on either side of her face. I just breathe her in. Her scent, which smells like her usual shampoo and I hint of arousal and it drives me mad. 

We just gaze into her eyes, and with her face twisted in pleasure, she attempts to keep her eyes focused on me. 

I can’t help myself, and I look downward to find her hand still working on herself, except this time, she is inside herself, slowly pumping her fingers inside and out. 

“Fuck.” I growl, not being able to control anything right now, “Are you close.” God, my voice sounds so deep and raspy right now.

Josie looks past the point of words, so instead, she just bites her lip and nods her head. How she does it is so obedient that it sends me into a spiral. It makes me lean on my side, taking my free hand and placing my thumb against her lips. Her lips part, allowing my thumb to enter which of course I gladly do. I slowly slide my thumb into her warm mouth, and she lightly bites it. I curl my other fingers around her jaw and chin, holding her in place.

She moans and whimpers around my thumb and her movements become erratic, her hips start to buck at an even and frantic pace. She is seconds away from cumming and I feel torn right now.

I want to be everywhere with her. I want to taste her, but I want to stay in the position I am in. I just want to be all over her all the time. Josie always has me wishing for more. She always has me crawling back.

I decided to stay up watching her. It’s not every day you can watch Josie Saltzman get herself off from this close. My eyes constantly shift from her face to her hand, not wanting to miss a moment of either one. 

“Come on Josie. Cum for me. That’s it, good girl.” I rasp into her ear, earning a needy whine from her. 

I can tell by her reaction that me talking to her is really turning her on, so of course, I continue, “I want to feel you so bad Jojo. I want to taste you again. God, you always taste so fucking good.” My voice breaks throughout the sentence. It becomes increasingly hard to form words right now. I somehow get even more turned on by the second. 

And with that, she gasps out a silent cry and her body tenses underneath me, I let her bite my thumb rather hard because I could care less. I am far too distracted by watching her fall apart on her own hand. 

I let her take a few shaky breaths before I lock my lips with hers. I somehow feel like the kiss is pushing boundaries, even though I was just on top of her getting herself off moments ago. This is more deliberate and more intimate. 

She kisses me back with so much fire, it makes me feel as if I am going to pass out again. I have this internal monologue of struggle. 

The question that plays on my mind is, do I want to fuck her or make love to her. Even the work making love makes me cringe. I feel like maybe if there was a better word for it, I wouldn’t be so scared about it.

I read into my feelings, bringing myself deeper than before. I want Josie, that is obvious. But the question at hand is how I want her. Right now, I don’t know if it’s the last time I will be with her. But it always feels like that.

It feels like I am a fisherman, putting bait on my hook, not knowing if the fish will bite or not. For all I know, I could be here forever waiting. Or, it could be a matter of seconds. No one can really tell.

This time though, it feels like decision time. It is for sure either the last time I get to touch the angel beneath me, or it marks the start of something new. The start of me being able to touch her whenever I want. The start of holding her hand in public. The start of kissing her in front of my friends. 

Right now is the decision point. I either fall down the mountain or continue to climb. And I hope to god, Josie lets me still climb.

Our kiss turns into messy connections of our tongue, and without even thinking about it, I slow it down.

Our movements become caring and soft. Our kisses don't have any intent behind it other than just living in the moment. There are no expectations of what is to come. I feel at peace. I feel comfortable. 

I am not shocked when I feel Josie tug on my shirt, wanting to even the playing field. To be fair, she is essentially naked, only graced with a bra, while I stand fully clothed in school apparel. 

I raise my body slightly off hers, just so I can take my shirt off. She doesn’t wait for a second to attempt to pull down both my skirt and my thong. She wants me to be bare and I am not going to complain.

Her face, god her face. The want she is displaying is driving me wild. It’s not even just desire. It’s pure want. Her eyes are screaming that she wants me in every which way, and my heart could not feel warmer. 

Once I am finally stripped to the same level she is, I allow myself to put my body on hers, connecting ourselves together. The skin on skin contact is something that will be burned in my brain forever. She is so soft in every way that it almost hurts. 

She grips the back of my neck, playing with the baby hairs, tugging gently as she pulls her lips to mine. Once again, I set a slow and sensual pace. I want her to know how I feel, and I know I am not good with words, so maybe this is the best way to express it.

We both sigh into the kiss, content with exactly where we are right now. I could die right now, and I would die happy. 

I pull away from the kiss to watch her face as I slip a thigh between her legs. Her eyes flutter close, affected by the new friction I am giving her. I don’t miss the sharp inhale of breath.

She raises her thigh to meet my already dripping centre. I can tell I will be quick. Just with this contact, it is a matter of mere minutes before I am sent over the edge. Seeing Josie fuck herself was enough to make me cum on the spot. Now add in actual touch. I am a goner. 

Once I feel that we are in the right position, I gently rock into her, making sure to tense my thigh so it feels solid against her.

I can feel her excitement against my leg, creating a wet trail. It makes my mind go blank for a second, and all I want to do is taste her. Of course, I am worried it isn’t close enough. I won’t be skin to skin. I won’t see her face. I won’t be able to kiss her.

Plus, this is getting me off too, and God knows how long I have been waiting to get off by Josie Saltzman. It has been far too long. I think over a month now.

I thrust against her, fueled by my own pleasure to pick up the pace. I find myself with my face buried in her neck, gasping and whispering in her ear when it hits just right.

I can hear her tiny whimpers too, and her needy sounds are my favourite things of all time. Hearing her say my name like a prayer only adds to how turned on I am.

I pull away from her neck so I can watch her. She is so beautiful. With her face twisted in pleasure, I have never seen someone look so effortlessly gorgeous. It is like watching a goddess or an angel from above.

Holy shit. I am in trouble, aren’t I?

I feel like spilling my guts out to her right now. Tell her how much I care for her. How much I missed her. How well I can try and treat her. How I don’t deserve it but I will try my hardest for her. How much I just fucking adore her. 

Of course, I can’t say all of that mid-sex, but I know I am going to have to let those secrets leave my lips soon. If I want her back, I have to fight. And fighting in this situation is taking off all my armour, laying my weapon at my feet and allowing Josie to do whatever she wishes with me. Break me or fix me. 

I try to express all of my feelings in my movements and in my looks. 

I press my forehead against her, continuing my pace, rocking us both back and forth. So with our foreheads pressed together, we stare into each other's eyes.

Suddenly the pleasure between my legs feels like background, and just looking into Josie’s eyes is the only thing I can focus on. 

The feeling is warm, swallowing me whole. It’s a feeling that is so intense, I have never felt anything like it. It almost causes me to panic because it’s so overwhelming, but I am stronger than that. 

I am not someone who will freak over intimacy and warm feelings. Not anymore.

I feel like I want to cry, that's how emotional I am right now. It is happy emotions though. Like when you see Shadow from Homeward Bound running down the hill. It’s like so much relief and happiness that your body kinda malfunctions. 

Especially rejecting and avoiding these feelings for so long, having them rush in all at once is making my body work at a capacity that it has never dreamed possible.

This is too much right now, but at the same time not enough.

I want Josie and I want all of her. I want the sad, mad, happy, excited, nervous, content, sexy, cute, funny, smart Josie. I want her every way and anyway she will let me have her. 

I want the late nights staying up watching movies with Josie. Early morning waking up with her body curled into mine. Dates that I plan for way too long so she sees just how much she means to me. Days where I can fuck her senseless wherever and whenever I want. Days where she can hold me when I feel sad. Days where she's clingy and won’t stop touching me. 

I want all of those days and more. I just want Josie Saltzman completely. 

I am completely already hers, I just want her to be mine.

I want to be Josie’s Saltzman girlfriend so bad. 

My thoughts rush and cloud my mind, but when I press my lips to her soft ones, my mind is sharp and clear. 

I want her, and at the moment, I have her. Maybe not fully but I have to enjoy the moment. It may be the last.

Her hips buck to meet with my movements. Her whines are like music to my ears and it encourages me to continue. 

I can tell we are both close so I do my best to hold off my upcoming orgasm to focus on Josie. Her fingers are wrapped in my hair, pulling tightly as she cums. 

Seeing her cum is enough to send me over the edge. Just seeing her so lost in bliss is so perfect. Plus, the tug on my hair really did something, not that I would admit it out loud.

Now, with me fully collapsed on her, we attempt to find our breaths. Our sweaty bodies sticking together and fitting perfectly. With my head buried in her brown locks, I finally catch my breath, trusting my voice enough to say,

“So I guess we should talk.”

Josie’s hands rub soothing patterns on my back and she responds breathlessly, “Yeah, we really should.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think??
> 
> I NEED FEEDBACK ON THIS BECAUSE I WAS NOT SO SURE ABOUT THIS!
> 
> Please comment on thoughts and suggestions. (What would you like to see in the future?)


	15. The Speeches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk.
> 
> Finally

Penelope’s POV

We lie there, waiting for the other to speak. I don’t want to move honestly. This could be the last time I get to feel her bare skin, or see her bare skin for that matter. 

She is the one to break the silence, “We should probably get dressed first.”

Right, because there is no way in hell I could have a deep long conversation with a naked Josie without jumping her.

I agree with her, nodding my head, before sadly detaching ourselves. I really am going to miss this. 

For a second, I almost ask if I can borrow her clothes, not wanting to put back on my dirty clothes. But then I think it's too forward. It’s acting as if I already know she will have me and want something out of this relationship.

What if I ask and she says no? That means she is ending this for sure. Also, if I ask, and knowing how kind Jojo is, she will give it to me anyway, then break my heart and I have to leave with her clothes on?

What if she asks for them back? Or the ones that I wore the first time I slept over. As creepy as this sounds, if she says no to whatever this is, I think I would at least like to keep her clothes. Have something to remember her by, and be reminded of what I could have had if I wasn’t a fuck up.

Wait, is it a bad sign if she isn’t asking if I want to burrow her clothes then? Does that mean she is just going to tell me that this was a mistake and we should stop seeing each other?

My head is in full panic mode, and once again my body is telling me to run. My mind is reeling for excuses to leave and avoid this conversation, but I know I have to stay.

I am not going to chicken out or be a coward. 

I am going to be strong, and brave. Josie deserves to know the truth and know how much I care about her. 

I take a deep breath to calm myself, putting my clothes back on in the corner. Josie does the same, and I make sure to sneak a few glances. This could be the last time I see those perfect long and smooth legs. Last time I see her perfect tits with those pink rosy nipples, just begging for attention. Or her surprising toned stomach. Or her tight, pretty, p-

Okay, stop getting horny again. Focus. There can’t be any distractions, no matter how deliciously distracting they are.  
When I finish dressing, I get this feeling of dread. Here it comes. The stake to my heart and the nail in my coffin.

I turn around to find Josie already sitting on her bed, looking expectantly at me. 

Did I really take that long to change? I guess I just wanted to delay the inevitable.

I decide to sit next to Josie, but keeping a respectful distance. And there we sit in silence for a few beats for I speak up.

“Would it be okay if I talked first?” I whisper, so quiet I am not sure she hears it until she makes eye contact with me and nods.

I really need Josie to know how I feel. I am not trying to sway her decision, but I want to show her I can communicate. I can share my feelings, and that I can do more than just lust.

I focus on my breathing, attempting to collect all my thoughts and form a well thought out speech. 

It’s not like I haven’t thought about it. I have run threw countless times all the things I wanted to say, all the things I should say, and I the thing I would say. Right now though, the practiced lines leave my memory. I know the bullet points of what I want to say, but the words just aren’t there. Now, I am worried I am going to say the wrong thing, or something will come out wrong.

Maybe I should have written it out and recited it. No. That wouldn’t have seemed genuine. 

“Jojo.” My voice is wavering that I clear my throat, trying to sound like myself again. 

I think for a moment. God. Where to start.

‘I like you.” Okay, goodish start. 

“Like, really like you.” Sure, that totally doesn’t sound like you are a grade 3.

“And it means more than just sex to me.” I turn to look at her, intensely staring at me, hanging on to every word I am saying. 

I gulp before continuing, “ I like spending time with you. I like touching you, cuddling with you, texting you, and just talking to you. And I am sure you know, this isn’t like me at all.” All of this is just so out of character, I don’t even know who I am anymore.

“I have never…” I want to say felt like this before but those words just hang in my tongue, its a bit too much, “been like this with anyone. Ever.” Okay, that’s better. At least I am still getting the point across. 

“And that scares me. It really does. And, I think that’s why I reacted the way I did at the party.”

My face falls when I see her reaction to me bringing it up. Her mouth falls into the pout, and her eyebrows pinch together. Her eyes though, God. Her eyes show hurt and it breaks me a little. I just want to kiss her to make her feel better but that would not be appropriate right now. 

“And I am so sorry about that. I think it’s one of my biggest regrets ever.” Actually it’s my biggest, but I don’t feel brave enough to say it. 

“When I saw you with him. I don’t know, I just kinda freaked out. I know now it didn’t mean anything, but I didn’t even give you the chance to explain which was wrong. I know that.” Yeah, there is no way I can continue looking at Josie and keep talking. I turn my head and focus my eyes on a spot on the group. It’s way easier to focus and not be scared when the angel is looking at me with her beautiful eyes, hanging on to every word. 

“Uhh, and I guess I was embarrassed and hurt that someone who I wanted didn’t want me back.”

Josie looks like she is about to object, but I beat her to it. I don’t want to interrupt her, but now I am on a roll, and I am worried that if I stop, I won’t be able to start again. I have to tell her how I feel. 

“Or at least didn’t want me in the way I wanted them. I thought you just saw me as a hookup. Like we were fucking and that was it.”

Oh, yeah. I probably shouldn’t say fucking when I am telling her that I care for her and want more. It’s not very romantic. Not that I would know where to even start to be romatic. 

“And the rejection I felt just sent me spiralling. I went for Hope because I know it wouldn’t mean anything, but that it would hurt you. I wanted to show that if you didn’t take us seriously, then I didn’t either. I didn’t want to be that one person in the relationship that thinks it more. I guess I didn’t want to look like a fool. But, we both know how fucking foolish I looked after all those things I did that night.” 

“And I am not asking you to forgive me because what I did was really screwed up. And I know I have to earn back your trust, and I can wait. I can.”

I pause for a moment. Holy shit, I have just been ranting haven’t I? Well, I guess its time to wrap it up and sent it home. God, I hope she listens to what I am saying and can see I am trying and being genuine. 

“And I know I am not ideal. Communication isn’t my strong suit, but I really am trying. I am trying for you. I have never done anything close to what I am doing right now, and I think it might be the scariest thing I have ever done. My point is, I want to be good for you. You make me want to be better. You make me want to open up, and be affectionate, and caring.” The word-loving almost slips but again. Way too much, way too soon.

“You bring out this soft side of me I never knew I had, and I like it. And I want you to know, I want to continue this. Well actually, I wouldn’t say continue, I would say further this.” That makes sense right?

“I want to be serious with you. I want to take you out on dates. I want to try… us.” Okay, now I have ran out of words, and I think I said everything I wanted.

Okay, good job Penelope. That didn’t go horrible. You were brave and said what you wanted. That wasn’t so bad, was it?

Actually, it was pretty horrible, but this part. The waiting. God this is the worst. 

I look up and Josie expectantly, honestly waiting for her to say no. That is what I have prepared for. That is what is most logical, and I don’t want to give myself false hope. Prepare for the worst, that way you can’t be let down.

I try my best to read her face. Her eyes can be so telling, and right now they are a little glossy. I don’t know if that's a good or bad thing. Either she is saying no and feels guilty. I have seen that look before, and I feel like it would be the exact look she gave Landon or Raf. Or, she is just emotional because I said all the things she wanted to hear. But honestly, I am a beginner at this whole talking thing, so the odds of that are little to none.

Well. When she says no, I just hope I don’t cry. That would make me look more pathetic than I already do. Actually, it would just show JoJo how pathetic I actually am. 

“Pen.” Her voice is unstable. I think she is trying not to cry. Shit.

“What you did was really bad.” I knew it. I fucking knew it. It makes sense though. I don’t deserve her. Never did and never well. Simple. 

“And, I won’t lie. It did change things.” 

Don’t cry. Don’t cry.  
“And it made me not want to like you. It made me want all these feelings to go away.”

She doesn’t want me. Who the fuck would. I am not good enough to date. Just hot enough to fuck.

“And I tried. I tried to not like you. I tried to think you were a bad person. I tried to think that you didn’t care. I tried to think it was all a game to you.” Her voice is stronger now. She sounds confident. 

I want to scream right now that I do. I do care about her. And it wasn’t all a game. I want to convince her it means so much more, and hopefully my speech was enough to do that. 

“But, every day you slowly changed my mind.” 

My head snaps up at that, I know my hope is plastered on my face. I know its dumb. I just said I wasn’t going to get my hopes up, but every thought is out of the window. Does this mean she wants me?

“And, I think hearing how you feel helped a lot. But,” 

Oh. But. Here it comes. The heartbreak. 

I can’t look at her right now. I find a spot on the floor and bite the inside of my cheek, again trying to focus on not crying. This is goddamn why you don’t get your hopes up you idiot. It makes you believe you are worth it.

I know she can hear my shaky breath when she says but. With the number of emotions I am feeling, that breath is just the tip of the iceberg.

“You broke my trust. And that’s not something that that flips back on. It takes time to get my trust back.”

I am a fuck up. My parents are right.

“But, I want this, and I will need to take it slow, and I think that-”

Josie never gets to finish her sentence because I crash my lips onto hers.

Holy fuck. She wants me. Just like I want her. Holy shit. Best day of my life. I have never been happier. 

The kiss is very short because I can’t stop smiling into it. I feel like a giddy school girl. I guess I am though.

I pull away, and I know I look like the Cheshire cat with my huge ass smile. 

My voice comes out squeaky, “Seriously?” 

I can’t even believe this. I feel like celebrating like I just scored the game-winning goal. 

She gives the cutest smile and nods, looking just as excited as I feel. I feel this immense amount of happiness, contentment and excitement that I feel I may say something stupid. Something too soon. 

So instead, I grab her beautiful face and press my lips to her again. It again is short-lived because this time, we both can’t stop smiling. It ends in small giggles leaving both of our lips with our foreheads pressed together. 

God. I adore her. So much.

I can’t believe I get to be with her. 

I move my head from hers to let out a cheer and a fist bump, doing it half out of excitement and also half out of wanting to see Josie smile and giggle. I can be a goof for her. 

Just like I thought she would, she lets out a laugh and pushes me over, making myself flop back on the bed. I make sure to pull her along with me, making her half on top of me now. 

“You are such a nerd.” She teases, looking down at me. 

“Hmmm, but you like it.” I raise my eyebrows at her, making sure to add my signature smirk. 

“You know, I thought Penelope Park was smooth.” Well, I am smoother than I thought if I could get Josie. 

“I’ll show you smooth.” I rasp, grabbing her hips and fully putting her on my lap. I sit myself up so she is fully straddling me. And of course, she is wearing a skirt. Just like old times. 

We meet half away, our lips crash, and unlike the first two previous ones, there is nothing sweet or innocent about it. The kiss deepens rather quickly, and I slide my hands up her thighs slowly, then I reach around to grab her perfect ass. I give her an encouraging squeeze to rock into me but she pulls away.

I give her a questioning look, not understanding why she would want to stop.

“You know, when I meant slow, and I mean sex too.” She informs me, stroking her thumb against my cheek.  
I don’t think me and Josie could do the whole, ‘let's wait’ thing. We both are too attracted to each other. 

I can tell she senses my doubt because she continues, “I want to get to know you better. No distractions.” 

Fair. Before this, it was mostly just fucking. She doesn’t really know anything about me, and although I would like to say I know all about Josie Saltzman, that might not be fully true.

A smirk finds my face. I just can’t pass up a time to tease her when I am allowed to now. 

“You really think you can last long.” I accentuate my point with a squeeze of her butt, where my hands still lay.

I can instantly see her reaction. See her lips part, hear the sharp intake of breath and the way her body minutely moves into mine. She quickly recovers and slides off me, and I mock her signature pout. 

“Yes. I am not some horny teenage boy.” We both know that I and she are just some horny teenage girls. Essentially it’s the same thing. 

“Really? Because if I remember, moments ago you were getting yourself off to me.” 

“Penelope!” She shrieks, throwing a pillow at me, which I easily catch. And she is blushing, and all I want to do is go over there and pinch her cheeks. She is the cutest. 

I just shrug. I hope she knows what she signed up for because it’s going to be a whole lot of this. 

Josie seems to be engrossed in something else, and my mind is busy with itself. I am beyond happy but I can still hear the voices that are telling me I am going to fuck this up, and that I don’t deserve this. 

For today, I will drown those out. Today is a day of celebration. I can think about that later. 

Today I got what I wanted, and maybe I don’t deserve it, but god, I needed it. I needed her. I still do. 

“I want to take you out on a date,” I shout, not letting my mind catch up to my mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG FINALLY RIGHT?
> 
> please please please comment your thoughts. This is probably the most important chapter and part of their relationship to please share what you thought about it. Good or bad.
> 
> Also, thinking I might have a one-shot of Hizzie after I am done this, focusing on their side relationship. I take suggestions so please help!
> 
> Anyways, did you like it? Also, tell me what you want to see out of Penelope and Josie's relationship. Any scenes you are hoping for?


	16. Josie is my new weed now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It starts with a little bit of Posie, then it consists of Penelope freaking out to Hope. Josie has a small talk with Lizzie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the rating to M. Just because I think this fanfic is more than just sex, and E might be too harsh of a rating.
> 
> Also, sorry for the wait. I had exams but I am all done now so expect more often updates. Hopefully at least once a week.

Penelope’s POV

Well. I guess I should plan a date now. 

Josie turns her head at my statement, which was just me essentially blurting out that I wanted to go on a date with her. 

Smooth.

Her smile is so cute that I just want to pinch her cheeks and kiss her. Well, I guess I can now so that’s exactly what I do. I stride across the room, place my hands on her puffy cheeks and give her a soft peck, followed by a light pinch of her cheeks. 

I don’t miss the way she blushes, and knowing I can make her go red from something not sexual at all makes me feel… good? Giddy? Proud?

I don’t really know if there is a word to explain.

Josie seems to be lost and to have forgotten the question I blurted out to her moments ago.

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” I whisper for some reason even though we are the only ones in the room. 

“Yeah.” She replies somewhat breathlessly 

My hands leave her face and I miss the warmness underneath them. God. Pull yourself together Park.

“When are you free?” I don’t really know her schedule anymore, which saddens me for a moment. Jojo could have taken up acrobatics for all I know. I guess I just wasn’t a part of her life. Now though, I am, and I don’t want to fuck that up. 

Soon I am going to know if she will be free. Know her classes by heart. Know when she has football practices and has the games marked off in my calendar so I can cheer her on in that cute little uniform she looks so hot in. 

I used to go to the games with my friends as much as I could without it raising questions. I obviously just went to see Josie all red-faced and sweaty. 

I remember this one time against Mystic Falls, the game got kind of physical. I think it started with Lizzie and that Dana girl or something. Either way, it got rougher and rougher and the refs weren’t doing much. 

You can expect my shock when I noticed Josie throwing a couple of elbows and instigating it as well. I was impressed. I was even more impressed when she very discreetly cast a spell underneath her breath that caused Dana to trip who was seconds away from decking the hell out of Lizzie. I guess the whole defending Lizzie thing wasn’t a surprise, but the desire it fueled inside me was. 

Especially after the game, when Josie was pouring water on herself, and then she lifted the bottom of her shirt to wipe it off her face, giving a full show of her toned stomach. I guess it was a little pervy of me, but can you blame me. Josie is like the hottest, cutest, and most gorgeous person alive. 

“I am free tomorrow.” 

Is that too soon? Does that give me time to prepare?

God, what should I even do? Do I have to plan this date for over one day? It has to be good enough that it shows Josie I am worth it. I really need to smoke right now. I feel anxious.

Josie must sense my stress as she grazes my hand with hers, and seconds later, she locks our fingers together. 

Oh. Hand holding. Not something I am really used to but it’s sweet. Funny how I thought it was pointless and lame but the second Josie does it my perspectives change. 

“Hey. It’s okay, we can do it later.” Her voice is so soothing. It’s like honey.

Okay. She cannot think I am backtracking at all on this. I know I am going to have to push myself out of my comfort zone for her. She needs to see how seriously I am taking it. And although it is a saying I never follow, I know how important it is to Josie and the healthiness of a relationship. Honestly is the best policy. 

“No, it’s fine. I just want it to be perfect.” Wow, I sound whipped. 

Josie gives me this smile that I am sure I give her all the time. It’s the ‘you’re so cute’ smile. It’s one that I haven’t gotten since I was probably 8 years old. I don’t like feeling small, or dainty so usually Penelope and cute don’t go together. Usually, I would take it as an insult and claim that I am hot, not cute.

But coming from Josie, it gives me a different feeling. I don’t feel small or patronized. I feel seen I guess. It’s a little weird she sees me as cute, especially because I am for sure the top, but it’s good weird. Just different. 

Her smile stays plaster on her face as she slowly leans in and places the softest kiss on the corner of my mouth. Well, I don’t need to smoke now. She calmed me enough. 

Josette Saltzman is my new weed now. 

She’s just a little more addictive and I am just a little more dependant on her.

“We can go on a date whenever you want. No pressure.” 

She is kind. I don’t deserve her. Well, I don’t think anyone does really. She’s too good for this world. 

“Okay, tomorrow is good. How about 7?” The Park charm comes on a bit at the end. I am feeling more comfortable and that translates to my confidence. 

“That’s perfect.” She squeezes my hand, making me remember we have been holding hands this whole time. 

I want to kiss her, so I do. Just a soft kiss because I am worried if it gets too heated, then I won’t be able to stop myself, and I want to respect Josie’s rule of slowing down. Even if it is one of the hardest things I have to do. It’s like fighting all my natural instincts. 

I pull away from the kiss, not missing the little pout forming on Jojo’s lips from the short kiss. I know it must be hard for her too. What’s the point of this again?

I untangle my hands from hers as I begin to make my exit, “Well, I should go and plan for the date.”

She hums in response before giving me a final kiss goodbye. We sure do kiss a lot. Zero complaints from me though.

I do my best to walk normally even though my legs feel like jello. Just knowing a have a date with Josie Saltzman tomorrow makes my whole body tingle. Just being able to get the thing I wanted most. It feels great. 

Once I make it out of her room, I run towards Hope’s room. Like I full-on sprint. And I never run.

I don’t even knock before going into Hope’s room, which you think I would after the last incident of not knocking. But that had a huge reward. Seeing Josie touching herself is something that will be engraved in my brain forever. But I don’t think I would count is as a reward if I walked in on Hope doing something like that. 

Luckily Hope is fully clothed just working at her desk. Her head snaps up as I burst through the door, I see her face drop when she sees it’s me. I guess she was expecting someone else. I don’t push her on it because I am too happy to care.

Still, with my running speed, I crash into Hope, sending her falling off the chain, and we tumble to the ground together. 

“What the fuck Penelope.” She growls, moving to a sitting position on the floor. Oh, she’s actually mad. Maybe I shouldn’t have tackled her. 

Again, my mood is too good to be dampened by a grumpy tribrid, so I don’t waste time apologizing. 

“I have a date with Josie!” I practically yell. 

Hope looks confused, surprised and then happy. She’s happy for me. She knows how much I wanted this. 

“How did that happen?” I understand her confusion, Josie hated me just a few days ago. Plus she is probably also confused that I have a date. I don’t think I have ever been on a date. 

Okay, now time to try to explain how all this happened. I don’t know if I should tell her the full details because well, the full details involve sex. A lot of detailed sex. 

Honestly, I think that I just need to tell someone though. I just need someone to know how lucky I am, and how good I have it. I need someone to brag to. 

“Okay, well first, I was going to talk to her. And I was outside her door and I hear her call my name. So obviously, I assume she somehow knows I am outside, so I go to open the door.”

Hope looks intrigued by my story but I can tell she is lost. Probably doesn’t understand why it’s so suspenseful. 

“And Josie is on her bed, like...Ummm, touching herself?” I say as if it is a question. It’s kinda hard to word it, and I feel kinda weird talking to Hope about it now that she is close with Josie and that I am dating her. 

Hope’s mouth falls. Like actually falls as if she is a part of a cartoon. 

“You are joking.” She whispers as if someone will hear.

I just shake my head with a huge grin of my face.

“How did she react?”

“She spread her legs and kept going,” I say in disbelief. 

“Fuck.” Hope breathes out. I know it’s the hottest thing to ever happen so I don’t blame Hope for being a bit affected. Who wouldn’t be? Have you seen Josie? 

“Yeah, I know. Then she called out my name again and said please. And I actually died right there. It was so hot.” I groan, remembering how perfect it all was. 

“So then, I like got on top of her, and watch her get herself off,” I say proudly. 

Hope looks shocked, amused, and a little turned on.

“Why is your life a porno.” 

True. A really really really good porno. 

“Yeah, then we fucked, but it was more intimate, I don’t know.” I hate the word making love, but maybe that’s the word to describe it. You’ll never hear me say that word out loud. 

“So then you talked?” Hope questions.

Well, it truly was me ranting like an idiot and then me interrupting Josie by kissing her. 

“Yeah, I talked first and told her how I feel. And then she said like I broke her trust and she is willing to try with us, and then we kissed some more.” I explain

Hope just grins again, “Let me guess, then you guys fucked.” She almost rolls her eyes at it. I guess that is a really good prediction. I thought we were going to fuck again until Josie told me about the whole slowing down thing. If that rule wasn’t in play, I would still be in their now fucking her senseless. Probably until night day and into the next day.

“No actually, Josie says she wants to go slow so she can get to know me better.” It feels weird to say it out loud. But I understand her decision, so I am going to respect it. I can handle myself.

In response, Hope just dies of laughter. She giggles herself onto the floor and she only stops after I nudge her hard with my foot, “Why are you laughing so damn hard?”

Hope wipes the tears that formed in her eyes from laughing so hard, “That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.” I growl and respond and jump to Josie’s defence, but before I can, she holds up a finger and continues talking, “Firstly, you guys fucked like 2 seconds before making that rule. Secondly, there is no way you guys can last. You guys hump like bunnies!”   
I can see how it would like stupid by someone else’s perspective, but I get why Josie did it. I use sex as a way to distract, or if I am feeling too out of my comfort zone, I always turn to sex because that is when I am confident. Without that, it forces me to open up to her and not run away as much. I just hope I can handle it. 

Obviously, I don’t need to defend myself to Hope, and I don’t really want to talk about something deep right now that might bring down my mood, so I stick to a lighter response. 

“I can handle myself if I want to. I don’t just want her for sex.” I defend myself.

“I know. I am not saying that you just want her for sex. It’s just you guys like eye fuck eachother all the time. And there always is this constant sexual tension between you two. I think you might be able to last, but I don’t think Josie can.” Is our sexual tension really that obvious? 

I raise my eyebrows at the last part. She doesn’t think Josie can last without sex? Josie didn’t start having good sex until me. Maybe me being her first real good time, awoke something in her. Like she realized sex can actually be heavenly. 

“You don’t think Josie can last?” My voice sounds a little vulnerable. Like I want to hear from someone else about how they think I affect Josie. I already know she drives me wild, and I know she's attracted to me, but thinking she's just as crazy about me as I am about her… I don't know. It makes me feel hopeful. 

Hope scoffs at my reaction, “Hell no. When you guys were not talking, she was so sexually frustrated. And now that you guys are, well whatever you are, there is no way it isn’t going to drive her insane.”

Wait a goddamn second.

“How do you know she was sexually frustrated?” I accuse Hope, and I am sure confusion and jealousy seep into my voice. 

Hope shakes her head in disbelief at my reaction before explaining herself, “Calm down Pen, no need to get jealous. I only knew because it was obvious. She became more grumpy, she would always jump at the chance of being alone in her room. She took like two showers a day.” 

Oh. That’s hot. I guess I really woke up the sexual side of Josie. 

“Okay.” 

Hope just nods at me, choosing not to respond.

Then I remember the real reason why I am here, “Hope, you have to help me plan a date for Josie tomorrow.” 

Hope eyebrows arch, “Penelope Park planning a date. Wow, they grow up so fast.” She pretend to wipe a tear from her eye.

“Fuck off,” I say as I playfully push her. “I actually really do need help though. I was thinking of dinner then a movie. And then we could walk back and, I don’t know, sit outside for a while?” God, I have no idea what I am doing.

Hope just kind of stares at me spaced out, and I know my idea was bad but I didn’t think it was that bad, “its stupid Hope I know, but I am not good at things like this, and I really don’t want to mes-”

Before I can continue I am interrupted by Hope, “No Penelope, it’s actually good. I was just thinking about this place that’s like a little park that would be nice to just sit and chat. Landon used to take me there, and it was pretty romantic.” 

“Yeah, sorry. No way I am taking Josie to a place that you and Landon used to make out at.” Gross. Plus what if he brought Josie there when they went on a date. 

“Yeah, true.” She nods. 

We both sit there, racking our brains to find a really nice place outside. God, I wish I knew more secret romantic places in Mystic Falls. 

“What about the Old Mill. Like what if I bring like blankets we can sit on and stuff.” Is that romantic? Sitting on old wood?

Hope eyes widen a bit, “Yes, that is perfect. Woah, who knew you had it in you.” 

Usually, I would deny that I could be romantic, or say something that would defend my reputation, but not anymore. Instead I just proudly smile back. I guess Josie just makes me romantic. 

“What are you going to do about Lizzie though?” Hope questions.

“What about her.” Lizzie is the least of my worries. She is so irrelevant to me currently. She is just the sister of the girl who I am seeing. 

“Well, she hates you. She is going to try and break you and Jo up.” 

Fucking Lizzie. She cannot let her sister have a moment of happiness. Now I wish I shoved her into the wall a whole lot harder. She better not try and break us up. I swear to God if she makes this harder I will hex her or something. 

“I would like to see her try. And last time I remember, she hates you just as much as she hates me.”

Hope breaks eye contact and stares at a spot on the floor, “Yeah, I am starting to think that’s true.” 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josie’s POV

Penelope is just… wow. She said all the perfect things. 

Seeing her confess her feelings towards me felt like a dream. It still doesn’t feel real. 

She is so sweet with me, it's like she becomes a whole different person. She looked so vulnerable and fragile when she was talking to me. I didn’t miss the way her eyes got glossy when she thought I was going to reject her.

As if anyone could reject Penelope. You don’t have a choice with her, you just have to like her. She just has this effect on people. I understand why so many people just follow her blindly like she is their queen. 

I am not saying what Penelope did was okay, because it wasn’t. But no matter how hard I tried to hate her for what she did, I couldn’t. No matter how many times I would try to agree with Lizzie’s hateful words towards her, I couldn’t. Every time I tried to forget about her, I couldn’t. 

I have feelings for Penelope, and I realized there was no way I could have avoided it. So I did what I truly wanted for maybe the first real-time in my life and went for it. I went to her. I went for what I wanted. What made me feel good. What made me feel alive, cared for and attractive. 

Penelope just makes me feel like no one else has before. Sure I had my crushes, but this is more than that. A lot more than that. 

And now Penelope wants to take me on a date. God, she looked so nervous when she asked. She is so cute. And hot. And sweet. And sexy. And hot. Did I mention hot. 

God, why did I make that slowing down rule? It’s like I am torturing myself. I know it must not be fun for Pen either, but I do think it’s for the best. To build on something that is more than sexual desire. 

Also deep down, I know I am still scared she is only using me for sex. Which I know is a dumb fear, because, after Penelope’s speech, it has become obvious it’s a lot more than that for her. But I am worried she will get bored with me. I am not nearly as adventurous, or interesting as her. 

I just want to make sure that it means more than sex, and that she can like me for me. Not for my body. I know it sounds stupid, but I am just scared I guess. Scared she will leave when she realizes how boring I am. Scared she will leave when she realizes Penelope Park doesn’t belong with someone like Josie Saltzman. 

I know I have to push these fear aside and just trust that Penelope won’t play with me. It’s just a big leap of faith, that’s all.

Just the no sex will be hard for sure. She is so god damn sexy. Especially with her being all sweet to me, I don’t think I will be able to last.

When we weren’t talking anymore, I was beyond sexually frustrated. I would touch myself to her a lot more often then I would admit. 

My cheeks heat up at the thought of Penelope walking into my room, catching me in the act. It is super embarrassing, but seeing Penelope’s reaction makes it all worth it. Her jaw actually dropped to the floor, and her eyes went almost black with lust. God, it was so hot.

This slow thing is going to be hell.

I am broken out of my thoughts and Lizzie walks into the room. She gives me a quick greeting, but the stares at me for a moment. 

“Okay, why do you have a hickey on your neck, and why are you smiling like the Joker.” She crosses her arms, standing over me.

“Uhhhh, Penelope asked me out on a date.” I wince, ready to hear her start yelling at me any moment. 

She just scoffs and rolls her eyes, “This again Josie? Really? Do you not remember what she did to me. What she did to you?” Her voice is so condescending. Just like it always is. 

“We had a talk though, and she is serious about us. Like I think it’s going to become something serious.” So, watch you say. Penelope might be my girlfriend soon. I want to say that to her, but it’s Lizzie and it will only make it worse.

“Whatever, you are going to get your heart broken.” As I am about to defend Penelope and how she has changed, Lizzie interrupts me and continues, “All highschool relationships are doomed. That’s why I am not longer looking for a boyfriend. I am just having mindless flings. They always leave anyways. No point.”

Of course, she brings in back to her, and of course, she has to bring down my mood. I know that if we keep talking about Penelope it will just escalate the situation, so I do what I always do and let Lizzie rant about her self. 

Her comes the Lizzie show, “What made you change your mind about dating?” I question, knowing it is going to send her into an endless spiral of talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS again sorry for the long wait.
> 
> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS. Those comments are what keep me wanting to write!
> 
> Love you guys! stay safe


	17. Pre-Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie preparing for the date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I have never watched legacies.

Josie’s POV

Lizzie didn’t give up a lot of information about her vow off dating. She just said relationships don’t last, everyone disappoints her and the sex is the best part anyway. 

It’s weird to hear her rant about it the day before I go on a date. I do my best to help her through it, but I kinda get it. I was scared to take this step with Pen, but I am pretty sure it will pay off.

I tell Lizzie she just hasn’t found the right person, she just scoffs and that’s where the conversation ends. I don’t know if I will be able to talk to her after my date. If I can tell her all the cute stuff Penelope does, or how she makes me feel all giddy inside. I really want to tell her everything, but if she is just going to constantly put everything good I say about Penelope down, I don’t think I can.

I think it might be too soon to gush to Lizzie about Penelope. To be fair, Penelope did throw her into a wall. And Lizzie is someone who holds grudges for a lot less. I remember she still has this hate for one of her old friends who went after a guy that Lizzie used to see like a year ago. And by see I mean like talk to for a week and made out at a party. I just hope eventually Lizzie will be able to do this for me. 

The rest of the night is filled with me and Lizzie doing homework, as I try to get everything out of the way so I have a full free day tomorrow for Pen and a full free weekend for whatever might come after the date. Wishful thinking, I know. Soft music plays in the background while we work, and it instantly makes me wonder what type of music Pen likes. I really can’t guess. I can picture anything, from liking Jazz to punk rock to rap. Penelope is just this big ball of mystery that I would love to slowly unravel. 

“Do you think music taste tells you a lot about a person?” I question to Lizzie, who looks ecstatic that this could be a distraction from her work.

“I don’t know. It depends. Sometimes people like what they grew up with, others like whatever their friends like, and some actually have their own taste. I guess it’s more on who they follow.” Lizzie responds, turning her full attention to me and putting down her pencil before asking, “Why?”

I am not going to tell her I was wondering what type of music Penelope listens to. I don’t want to ruin her mood, and we are actually having a good conversation. 

“I was just thinking. Which category do you think we fall under?” It is something that I am thinking about. Maybe not my number one thought but it’s up there. 

Lizzie looks to be thinking for a moment, starring blankly at me with her eyebrows slightly furrowed, which is the telltale face for her thinking. 

“Well I like whatever is popular, so I guess that’s more following the crowd. And you like Mom and Dad’s old music, so I guess you are what you grew up with.” I don’t miss the way her voice lowers quietly when she is talking about herself. She doesn’t like that she seeks the attention and acceptance of others. I know this, she has told me many times. She craves to be accepted and be well-liked, but she goes about it the wrong way. She uses fear and power rather than actual kindness and human connection. She has gotten better though. She is more open with MG and she even started being nice to Hope, which was a big change. 

“Do you think that means something?” I ask, seeing if maybe this is a good way to get Lizzie to open up and indirectly talk about her feelings. It is always easier this way for her. Lizzie is the classic ‘I have a friend who…’ but is really talking about herself. She stopped using that one year ago when she realized we could see right through her act. 

Lizzie hums as a yes, “I think so.” She picks at her nails, attempting to focus on something else. I can’t tell if she wants to talk more about it or not. I don’t want to push her too much. 

There is comfortable silence for a while, so I start doing my homework again. Lizzie just stares at hers, obviously thinking about something.

“I get that she makes you happy, I just don’t want to see you hurt.” Lizzie breaks the silence. Her voice is calm and it may be the first time she is talking about Penelope without malice and hatred in her voice. 

“I know Lizzie, but getting into a relationship, you are always taking a risk of getting hurt. You just have to decide is the reward is worth the risk.” Wow, we are really talking. Like mature adults. This is an improvement. 

“And you think the reward is worth it?” She asks, but for some reason, I don’t think the question is directed and Pen and I, I think it’s more in general. I think she might want me to talk to her about why relationships are worth it, and how she shouldn’t just right them off. 

“It depends. If you really like someone and you love spending time with them, then it’s worth it.” I do really like Penelope, and I do like spending time with her. To be fair, most of our time spent together has been sex, but hopefully, this date will solidify the fact that we connect further than that. 

“But doesn’t that make the risk worse? If you really like someone, the heartbreak will be so much worse.” She softly questions, biting her lip afterwards which is an obvious sign of her anxiety. 

“I guess, but that’s not a good way to live. Just expecting the worse. You shouldn’t go into a relationship expecting it to end.” 

I guess I haven’t really thought about Pen and I ending. Would it suck? Yes. Would it break my heart? No. We have just dipped our toe into the murky waters of dating. It is too soon to have my heart lie with her. I know that it for sure is the start of something. It’s like the first step on the long path of love. God, that sounds so stupid. 

“But we are pretty much in high school. Odds of relationships lasting are so low.” I would be angry if she was trying to tear down me, but I know she is no longer talking about me. She is talking about herself, and these are her fears, which are totally justified. I don’t even think she realizes she just threw a little dig at me. Lizzie usually doesn’t talk about her fears, it usually just manifest as anger and hate, so her showing me this side, it means a lot to me. 

“True. It just comes down to would you rather be with the person or not. What would make you happier.” She obviously has someone specific on her mind. If she wanted to tell me she would. I don’t want to backtrack on this improvement, so I don’t ask. 

Lizzie just nods in understanding before dramatically closing her textbook with a sigh, “If I have to read any more magic history, I think my brain will explode.” And with that, she plops herself on her bed, pulling out her laptop to put on some Netflix. 

I continue doing my homework until it is fully done, knowing I need a free weekend. All this boredom and stress from the homework will be worth it. It just means more time to spend with Penelope. That’s what I keep telling myself as I write what feels like my one-hundredth page of notes. When I finally finish, I lie down with Lizzie, watching whatever show until we both fall asleep. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Classes drag on forever, while until the defence class. You know, the one where I can be all touchy with Penelope. 

Usually, it has been me getting out my anger with her, and the touches have been neither gentle or sweet. Do I feel bad about it? Yes. I know I treated her like shit, but I did it because I was hurt. I thought I meant nothing to her. I wanted to show her that I was strong and that whatever was broken didn’t affect me. Now I know, we should have just talked from the beginning and communicated instead of me making her life worse for making mine worse. It was a lose-lose situation.

But now, with the no sex rule, having to change in front of each other, and wrestle each other, it seemed like a lose-lose situation again. As much as I want to break the rules, it would be embarrassing that I could only last less than a day. Also, I know it’s for the best. Right?

When I enter the locker room my eyes instantly scan it for her. She is usually very easy to find because she is circled in a big crowd by her followers, so when I don’t see her in the first two seconds, I know she isn’t here. 

Why would she skip? Does she not want to go on this date? Does she not want to see me?

My doubts come crashing down as the raven hair beauty struts into the lockerroom. By the time she has entered, I am in my gym shirt but only have underwear on. I legit just took off my pants right before she came in, and I don’t know if that is a blessing or a curse. 

Usually, Penelope gets changed with her friends, but right now she is heading right for me and I think I might be hyperventilating. She is walking over here like she is on a mission. 

Once she finally reaches me, she gently grabs my face and places a chaste kiss on my lips, not giving me the chance to reciprocate. Honestly, I am too shocked to. I didn’t expect that at all. I didn’t know we were kissing in public, let alone kissing in the girl’s locker room with the entire class staring in awe at us. 

Penelope must see my face of confusion and I see her smile falter and concern fills her face, “Was that okay?” She whispers, hands still holding my face. 

“Yeah.” Wow, I sounded breathless didn’t I?

Her smile is brought back with my words, and she gently rubs her thumb against my cheek, and without a thought, I lean into the touch. 

“Okay, go get dressed. I can’t handle myself when you have no pants on.” Penelope teases as she takes her hands off my face, putting some distance between us. I want to pout and complain but I know if we change this close to each other, we will never leave the lockerroom and will probably get expelled once they figure out what is happening. Yeah, I don’t really want to have that conversation with my dad.

To just tease me some more, Penelope lightly taps my butt, encouraging me to leave to get changed, but all it encourages me to do is jump here right now. 

I put on my best puppy dog face, “Fine.” I grumble before taking my clothes and walking in the opposite corner. I can feel Penelope eyes on me when I walk back but I refuse to look back at her.   
I can hear the mumbling and the whispers of the room, shocked that they have seen head bitch Penelope Park kiss the headmasters daughter. I don’t blame them. If you told me months ago that I would be kissing Penelope Park, I would have laughed right in your face. I am sure she would do the same.

Once I am fully changed and I feel it is safe enough to look over and Penelope, I find her and her friends in a deep discussion. Penelope looks pleased with herself, while about half of her friends having matching grins. The other half though looked pissed off. I have a feeling they are talking and me, and I can read those pissed off faces from anywhere. Jealousy. It doesn’t come to a huge shock to me that some of her friends like her. Who wouldn’t? And they also follow around her like a lost puppy. I am sure I do the same at times too.

Well, it looks like I just made some more enemies. Great.

Now feeling like I am intruding on whatever conversation they are having, I leave to the lockerroom, preparing myself to be close to Penelope again. Not only Penelope, but Penelope is short shorts. Great.

When she finally makes it out of the room with her possy, she breaks off from them and heads right towards me with a little smile on her face. 

“Hey. I hope it’s okay that I told my friends about us.” She fiddles with her hands, not maintaining eye contact. 

Us. That word rings in my head over and over again.

Us. Us.

What exactly did she say about ‘us’? That we are going on a date? Dating? Seeing each other?

I don’t ask because I am too scared. Too scared that it is too clingy. Too scared that it is too forward. Maybe I am scared of the answer.

I smile at her nervousness once my thoughts pass, “Of course that’s fine.” 

Her eyes meet mine, and moments like this make me realize how green her eyes actually are. They really are dangerously appealing. 

“Good,” She pauses a moment, looking like she doesn’t know what to say next. I like seeing the confident Penelope Park squirm. It is endearing. “You ready for our date tonight?”

Beyond ready, yet not ready at all. How can I prepare for this date? I have been running things in my head for a while, but I don’t think that will help much at the moment. 

“Yeah, I got all my homework done for the weekend.” 

Now cocky Penelope is back as her signature smirk fills up her face, “Wow, I get you for the whole weekend now?” She cocks her eyebrow. 

I fake casualness as I tease her, “Don’t get too ahead of yourself Park. We will see how the date goes.” 

She rolls her eyes and bumps me with her shoulder, “By the end of the date, you will be begging me to spend the weekend with you.”

Begging. Okay. Moving on. Remember. NO SEX.

“Cocky.” I fake cough.

“I like to call it confidence, but call it what you want.” She shrugs. 

After that, the teacher tells us it is just punching that we are going over today. No wrestling, meaning no real touching. 

I chalk that up as a good thing because that would just further push me towards the cliff that is having sex with Penelope. 

After a throw a few lazy punches to Penelope’s blockers, curiosity gets the best of me, “So, what do you have planned for this date?” 

Penelope lowers her blocker, so I stop my weak assault on it, we just stand there now, “Well, I thought maybe dinner, then a movie, and then I have a surprise.” She whispers the last part like it’s a huge secret. She can be such a child. 

“That sounds perfect.”

“Really?” A smile graces Penelope's face, looking proud but still a little unsure.

“Yeah.”

And with that, we stare at each other for a beat too long. Everyone around us is forgotten. The fact that we are in a gym is forgotten. 

Well, it’s forgotten until the teacher yells at us for standing around doing nothing. We snap out of it, and continue on the sparring. I noticed that Penelope cheeks are a little pinker than last time.

Is she blushing?

\---------------------------------------------------------

It’s almost 7, and with half-ass effort from Lizzie, we managed to find an outfit. It’s a casual yellow dress that has thin straps and has a lower cut. It exposes a lot of my shoulders and the tops of my chest. Penelope didn’t really tell me much about the surprise so I hope this works. 

I do my hair and put it into loose curls because I am worried if I ask Lizzie she will say no. I don’t want to bring down my mood. I do have to give Lizzie some credit for not talking bad and Penelope the last hour, even though she is putting one-tenth the amount of effort she did for my date with Landon. 

I can feel the nerves hitting me now. Good butterflies. This is what was missing with Landon, and honestly was missing from Raf too. 

I am for sure glad Raf broke up with me now. We didn’t have the best relationship but it wasn’t bad. It was safe. I wasn’t unhappy or anything. It just didn’t have the spark. I didn’t have the need to be beside him 24/7. He wasn’t on my mind all the time. He isn’t what I have with Penelope. 

Lizzie breaks me out of my trance, “You look good Jo.” 

I just give her a small smile in return. I really am too nervous. My palms feel sweaty. My breathing is not normal. Why am I even focusing on my breathing? I can hear my heartbeat too. 

I feel hyper-aware of everything. 

CALM DOWN.

And then I hear the knock. It does nothing to calm me down more. I guess because I am so out of sorts, I don’t even think to answer it until Lizzie gesture towards to door dramatically. 

I scurry towards the door, fixing my dress. Does it look good?

Open the door. She is waiting. 

With a shaky breath, I open to the door.   
Holy fuck she is beautiful. 

Penelope has dressed in a white button-up and of course a cape. I think she is the only person in the world that can pull off a cape. Her face is a little flushed, and her confident smirk is present but I can see the nervousness in her eyes.

At least I am not the only nervous one. 

Penelope shakes her head, “Wow. This is just cruel.”

My face twists in confusion. 

“What is?” I tilt my head.

Being called cruel is not how I wanted this date to start off. 

Penelope looks lost as she explains, “You make a rule about no sex, then you wear something like that?”

Oh. That’s not a bad way to start a date. 

What shocks me the most is Penelope doesn’t even look like she is trying to flirt. Her smirk is not on display, and her eyebrows are raised in the way that is just asking for danger. Penelope just looks like she is saying her thoughts. 

Also, I feel like that statement coming from anyone else might rub me the wrong way. It might feel like they are only interested in sex, or that they aren’t respecting the whole ‘slowing down’ thing. But from Penelope it just makes me feel wanted. It’s no what she said or how she said it. It is who said it. Penelope.

“Says you.” Is the quickest comeback I can think of before shutting the door, leaving a gagging Lizzie behind. 

Good one. Idiot. 

Penelope is kind enough to spare me the embarrassment by not commenting on my horrible response. Instead, she lightly grips my arm, pulling me into her, and presses a long kiss on my cheek. But of course, she is not done there. She moves her mouth to the shell of my ear, “You look gorgeous by the way.”

Fuck.

Penelope Park really knows how to get a girl going, doesn’t she?   
I can tell by Penelope’s smug face when she pulls away, that I do a shit job looking unaffected. I can feel the warmness and tingle at the back of my neck, and I know my face must be red as a tomato. 

Then, just like that, she extends her arm to me like a true gentlewoman. 

“Shall we?” 

And with that, we link arms as if we are going to a masquerade ball and head towards our date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY GUYS THAT THIS DOESN'T INCLUDE THE DATE!
> 
> I wrote way more than expected and didn't want to shorten up the date or make the chapter way too long.
> 
> I am thinking of splitting the date into two chapters with two different POV's. Opinions?  
> I am also thinking of first doing Josie's and making her a horndog.   
> And then second Pov is Penelope who is being super soft.
> 
> Also, please leave comments. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!


	18. The Softie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope's Pov of a part of the date. Spoiler: She's a huge softie but we already knew that.

Penelope’s POV

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I just knocked. It’s fine. She will come out soon. All will go well. Everything will go to plan and it will be a wonderful date.

I won’t be a dick or say the wrong things. She won’t realize that she deserves better. She won’t be annoyed with my need to be close to her all the time. I will be able to handle a relationship. 

Right?

Right?

Fuck. 

The door is open.

Oh. God. 

Josie. Josie looking beautiful in a cute and hot as hell dress. I don’t think she has ever looked so fuckable, and knowing I can’t have her that way right now makes it worse. I always want what I can’t have.

Josie’s dress is a gorgeous yellow dress that shows her body in an innocent yet sinful way. Innocent yet sinful seems to be the definition of Josette Saltzman. 

I seem to always forget how fit she is. Perhaps it’s her soft features and round cheeks that leave me shocked to find her defined body. Her collarbone protrudes in the most delicious way, begging me to leave marks. Her shoulders are strong but petite. I wonder if she would let me give her a massage one day. 

And fuck. Don’t even get me started on her legs. Her legs not only go for days but I know from experience are so soft they are addicting to the touch. And taste. The yellow dress just accentuates her legs more, causing my eyes to linger there for far too long.

The dress truly fits perfectly. Showing her small waist, and the curve of her hips. She looks like a model. I mark it down on my list to take pictures of her one day. Have a whole photoshoot. Maybe make her wear this dress again because she looks like a piece of art in it. And then at the end of the photoshoot, we can take pictures of her naked. But those will only be for me. 

Even though Jojo’s body is a blessing from god, nothing can compare to her face. Those pouty lips, the puffed out cheeks, her caring eyes, her sweet smile. It’s all too much really. 

It is cruel.

Cruel that she looks like that, and all I can do is look. Not touch. 

“Wow. This is just cruel.” I breathe out, remembering that I just can’t stare and gawk at her for the full date. 

She tilts her head like a puppy dog, confused by my wording. I guess I was too lost in the vision that is Josie to form a sentence with any context. 

“What is.”

I want to say that I can’t fuck you right now. That I can’t worship your godly body as it deserves. That I can’t make you cum so many times you can’t walk to the next day.

Well, that is not the best way to start a date where you are trying to show you can be more than just sex. You can be romantic. If you really try. 

“You make a rule about no sex, then dress like that?” Wow. So romantic Penelope. 

For the entire walk to the restaurant, I can’t help but smile like an idiot. Especially when we change our position from linking arms to hand-holding. 

Yep. I am holding hands in public. I have come a long way. 

The whole time I worry that my hand is too sweaty. I am nervous okay? I just don’t want to fuck this up. 

Josie is the best thing to ever happen to me and I am not losing her now. I can’t lose her or the feelings she causes me to have. I feel warm whenever I am with her. Sounds super mushy but she makes me that way. I never had the need to be physically close to someone, minus sex of course, before Josie. I want to hold her, cuddle her, kiss her cheek, hug her and so much more. I hold back though because if I was truly doing what I wanted, Josie and I dates would be spent fucking and cuddling. But I get that we need to talk. Our emotional connection is just as important as our physical, and at times I think it may be even stronger. If that is even possible.

Josie must see me lost in my thoughts because she rubs her thumb on the back of my hand, getting my attention. 

I turn at I smile at her, which she returns, “What restaurant are we going to?” She asks.

So curious.  
“Well, I was going to take you to the Mystic Grill, but I wanted something nicer. It’s this little Italian restaurant. I think you will really like it.” 

She hums in approval, swinging or hands that are holding on to each other. 

I hope she doesn’t expect this place to be very fancy because it’s not. It’s not casual either, it’s just not some 5-star restaurant that you have to wait like 5 years to get a reservation. 

“It’s not really fancy or anything.” Wow, I sound weak. Like I am disappointed in myself for perhaps not picking a better place. Well, I will be disappointed if she doesn’t like it. 

Josie, being able to read me like a book is soft with her response, “I am sure it will be perfect.” And of course, as if she couldn’t get any cuter or sweeter, she places a lingering kiss on the side of my mouth. 

Wow. am I really blushing from a kiss essentially on the cheek? Pull yourself together you sap. 

I want her close, and holding hands is not feeling close enough. 

“Want a piggyback ride?” I blurt out for some god damn reason.

Okay Park, what the fuck was that? You don’t offer a piggyback ride to your date. Totally not romantic. 

Josie giggles at my questions, stopping on the sidewalk. “Sure.”

And with that, I step in front of her, bending slightly so she can crawl onto my back. Well now that she’s agreed to it, a piggyback ride doesn’t seem so stupid. It’s like cuddling and walking. God, can I not even last a few minutes without having to be all over her. 

I make a mental note to slow down my physical touches a bit. I don’t want to be too clingy. I want it to be just right. I will let Josie lead for tonight. If she wants to touch me then she will. I want her to initiate it because what if I do something she doesn’t like. If someone who I don’t want touching me touches me, it really throws me off. It makes me not want to go near that person again for a while. Most people were like that for me, even Hope was someone that I didn’t want touching me all the time. She is very good at waiting for me to initiate any contact. But there have been a few times she wants to cuddle and I tell her to fuck off. She doesn’t take it as an insult. She knows how I am.

Well, that’s how I was before Josie. I always want Josie to touch me. I want to be touching Josie at all times. I am just worried she doesn’t feel the same.

Josie lightly tocuhes my shoulders, running her hands quickly down my back to warn me she about to jump. I brace myself, widening my legs. 

And with that, just jumps and lands gracefully on my back, wrapping her thighs around me and her arms loosely around my neck. I go to grab her thigh, making sure she is stable.

Oh yeah. She is wearing a dress right. That means bare thighs.

I hold to the bottom of her thighs, jumping a little so she can move higher on my back. 

“All good cowgirl?” I tease, but I also want to make sure she feels safe before walking forward. If I dropped her right now that would be really bad. 

She readjusts on my back, finding a comfortable spot. 

Josie just hums in response, which urges me to start walking. For the rest of the relatively short walk to the restaurant, we talk about light topics. Like school, magic, Hope and just normal teenager stuff. I know that the conversations won’t stay like this for long. They will dig deeper, and I am a little worried about that. That means opening up. Letting my guard down. 

With only a minute or so away from the restaurant, Josie shifts restlessly on my back, causing me to get a better grip of her thighs, “You good Jojo? Do you want down?”

Maybe she didn’t want a piggyback in the first place. Maybe she left obligated to do it? It sounds like something Josie would do. Anything to make someone feel better. Selfless. 

“Were almost there right?” She breaths.

“Yeah.”

She starts sliding off my back, “Okay, I should get down then.” 

I miss the weight on my back. Her being close to me. That’s pathetic right?

Once she is stable, I reach for her hand, the interlocking of fingers again. 

Fuck. Don’t initiate the contact, you idiot. Can I really not follow my own rules. 

Josie’s flushes facelifts at the contact, giving my hand a light squeeze which reassures me. It reassures me that I am not the only one who enjoys this. 

We walk in hand in hand into the restaurant. It’s a little nerve-wracking in a place so public holding hands. It’s PDA and usually, I find it gross. Not now though.   
A thought runs through my mind. This is Jojo’s first time with a girl. Being publically intimate. That can be intimating for some people. Some people stay in the closet their whole lives. Plus, Josie recently came out, which is never easy. Especially when your douche boyfriend dumps you for being Pan.

When I look over and Josie, her face holds nothing but contentment. No fear, no nerves. And I am very proud of her. But I am going to tell her I am proud of her holding my hand. That’s weird. 

I say my name for the reservation and the host leads us to a set table. I watch Josie the whole way, making sure that she isn’t looking at this place with disgust or disdain. From what I see by her bright doe eyes taking in the restaurants, she seems to like it. 

I pull her chair out, gesturing for her to sit. I can be a gentlewoman. This is what you are supposed to be on dates right? Like in the movies and shit?

Josie thanks me quietly and sits down, and I follow shortly behind her. 

“You like it?” I ask, sounding a little nervous. 

I can tell her smile is genuine when she answers, “Yeah, it’s really nice. I don’t know why I haven’t been here before.”

“Yeah, it’s not very well known. One of Mystic Falls best-kept secrets.” 

Josie giggled at that, and it takes me far too long to realize the joke I just made. 

The supernatural secret. You know, witches, vampires and werewolves. Oh my!

I really love the sound of her laugh. It’s so cute. 

Before we even pick up the menu to look and what we want, we get lost in conversation, and somehow it drifts to that first night at that party. 

“I am really glad you decided to smoke that joint on the roof that night.” 

Well, it really wasn’t a fluke. More like a well planned out strategy.

Honestly Penelope. Be honest. No matter how embarrassing.

“Well, actually it might have been planned.” 

Josie’s adorable eyebrows pinch in confusion, asking me to elaborate. 

“I may or may not have seen you go up, and made some excuse to talk to you.”

Josie beams at that. It wasn’t fate. It was me wanting her. So god damn badly. 

“And was that siphoner thing planned to? Because I had the idea it might have been.” She playfully resorts. 

I gasp, pretending to be offended. Holding my hand to my heart. “You really think I have no game and preplanned a whole conversation just so I could kiss you?” 

Josie just tilts her head, giving me a knowing smirk. 

“Okay fine. Fine. ” I raise my hands up in surrender. 

“I may have lied a bit about my knowledge of siphoners.” 

God, I love this banter. It is so natural but also so exhilarating. Who knew a conversation could make you feel like this. 

She shakes her head, “Yeah, I kind of assumed you were playing dumb.”

“Okay. No, you didn’t. No way you could see through me that night.” I defend myself. No way I am that bad of an actress. That plan was foolproof and the smoothest thing to ever exist. It got me the girl, didn’t it?

“Hmmm.” She taps her chin, “maybe I will tell you by the end of the night.” 

I am a child okay. That’s means I am stubborn. You know. It means not letting things go and defending your pride. 

“There is no way that my plan didn’t fully work. You were so flustered when I said lip to lip.” I brag. 

Josie rolls her eyes, “Please, you were begging me to go into the room to continue.” 

Oh, this is fun. Josie, I adore you and all but you will never win this. Who can out fluster who. I will always win. 

“Hmm, I do recall someone grabbing my hand and leading it somewhere. I think it might have been your-” I am cut off before I can finish when a ball up napkin comes flying across the table and hits me in the face. 

I let my jaw fall, exaggerating my shock, “Josie Saltzman getting violent?” I gasp.   
Josie just laughs it off but I see the redness of her cheeks. She's flustered, which is both adorable and hot. But I don’t want the whole date to be about me flustering her. It would feel comfortable with her. She should be able to let her walls down, just like I am trying to. I know a lot of this date is about me opening up, but I really want to get to know her better as well. 

We settle back into the light conversation. Almost like a conversation, I have with Hope but less, I don’t know… Bro-ish if that makes sense. Our food eventually comes and it remains a light conversation until Josie asks the questions I was dreading she would ask. I am not surprised it came out though.

“Tell me about your family.” 

I am sure she doesn’t miss the way my face falls. The way my walls slowly build itself. I am really trying here but that's my Achilles’ ankle. My weak point. I really don’t even talk to Hope about it. She doesn’t know why my family is broken. MG doesn’t know. None of my other friends know. I just find it’s better if I don’t talk about it and avoid it at all costs. 

I wouldn’t even know where to start. I wouldn’t even know how to say it. I don’t want Josie to look at me differently. I don’t want her pity. I don’t want her understanding. I just don’t want any emotions that have to do with my family. It is out of my mind. Untouchable. I know that maybe one day, once Josie and I have dated a while, I will have to tell her. I, of course, will eventually want her to meet my parents, no matter how much they won’t care. It would be kinda weird to just meet your parents-in-law at your own wedding right. I can already picture Jojo nagging me to plan dinners with her and my family. But that is far down the road. That is years from now. Right now she doesn’t need to know. I don’t want her to know. I am not ready yet okay.

Just it’s too soon. Too painful. 

“We aren’t really close,” I mumble. I hope that’s a good enough answer for her. 

I can tell by the tilt of her head and the looks she is giving me that she is thinking. Probably formulating a question that will cause me to expand on my statement. Tell her more. 

That’s not going to happen. No matter how much I adore her. 

So instead of letting her ask a question and me shutting her down and ruining this entire date, I quickly turn the question on her before she can ask for more information. 

“What about you? I mean I know a bit about it because your dad is headmaster and all.” I question.

I know Alaric. I have talked to him a few times, but it has always been about school. A few times about the feud Lizzie and I had when it got out of hand. 

Wait. Fuck.

Alaric probably hates me. I will admit I wasn’t the nicest to Josie’s evil twin but she is no saint either. He most likely sees me as a mean girl who picked on her daughter. Well, that is not a good impression. Usually, you kiss the ass of the parents of your girlfriend. Do whatever you can to get them to like you. I am already 6 feet under with her father. Guess it’s time to try and crawl out. 

Not to mention that their mom is rarely in Mystic Falls and is always travelling is someone who I genuinely fear. And I am Penelope Park. I am never intimidated by anyone. Especially someone who is essentially a more mature Lizzie. Now that she is the girl I am dating Mom, she will become even scarier, and my need to impress her will increase tenfold. 

Note to self. Kiss Josie’s parent’s ass. 

My fears fade away and Josie’s soft voice hits my ears, “Well you know Lizzie,” Sadly I want to add, but I don’t want to ruin this night in any way, and bringing up my hate for her sister isn’t something that will have a positive impact on this date. “And you know my Dad. And then you know my Mom. I am sure you have seen her around a few times.” Josie trails off and her bottom lip sticks out more than usual. 

“She is usually overseas looking for other supernaturals who need help. And I know she is doing the right thing, but sometimes I feel neglected.”

A sad puppy. That’s what Josie looks like. And all I wanted to do was comfort her. So in a very un-Penelope Park fashion, I reach across the table and grab her hand. 

“I understand. Sometimes it's hard to see the bigger picture when it’s hurting you.” I give my best reassuring smile. It feels weird on my face. Out of place. 

Josie squeezes my hand back before continuing, “And my Dad is always training with Hope. But that also if for the greater good. And Lizzie can be. Well, Lizzie. Sometimes I just kind of feel forgotten. Like invisible.” 

Josie is the first person I think of when I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning. Even when we were fighting. At times when we were good terms, if I didn’t have the energy to get out of bed, I would think of Josie. Think about talking to her. Think about seeing her smile. Seeing her teeth that are a tiny bit too small for her mouth. Think of those chubby cheeks. Think about what should we be wearing. Think about how she would make me feel. And when I would think of her, it would be like chugging 10 coffees and it gave me enough energy to get out of bed. Not only get out of bed but go on my day with a positive attitude and a big smile plastered on my face. Now that we are dating and that I can be around her all the time, it’s going to make my days so much better. 

“Jojo, you are not invisible. I see and think about you all the time. Whenever you are in a room, you have always been the first person I see.” Although I am trying to cheer her up, everything I am saying is 100 percent the truth. 

Josie beams at that and she lets out a little content sigh. She is so goddamn cute. It’s actually a little ridiculous that every time I see her, her beauty shocks me. I will never get used to how attractive she is. 

I let out a lazy smile, too busy to focus on what my own face is doing when I am so lost in Josie’s. 

And the rest of the dinner goes like that. A lot of smiles, a lot of heart eyes. The heart eyes mostly coming from me of course. 

When the waitress asks if we are splitting the bill, I politely say one, and during this time Josie and I and holding hands on top of the table. 

As soon as the waitress turns her back, I rush out, “Okay Jojo listen. Whoever she gives the cheque to means she thinks they are the top of the relationship. It’s like a little game.” 

Josie just giggles at my antics, “You think she’s going to put it in front of you right?” 

I dismiss her with a wave of my hand, well the hand that is not holding hers. I don’t want to move that one. “Please. Even Stevie Wonder could see that I am the top of this relationship.” 

Josie laughs at that. Okay, good. She likes dark humour too. Well, I guess that makes sense as she friends with Hope now who is the queen of dark humour. 

The waitress comes back shortly after, and times slows as I see her hand the cheque to Josie. She is joking right? Josie is wearing a cute little dress the screams bottom and I am wearing a nice blouse and a cape. A cape for god sakes. You can’t tell me that it doesn’t shout top. 

Josie grins like a mad man and as soon as the waitress turns her back, Josie bursts out laughing. Tears gather in her eyes, and I can tell by my reaction to the betrayal of the waitress just spurs on her laughing fit. 

When Josie finally settles, wiping a tear from her eyes, she manages to get out a sentence in between her laughter, “Oh god, that was so funny. You were so sure of yourself.” Shes giggles again for a while before continuing, “And your face. Oh, I wish I took a picture.”  
I am not a sore loser okay? I just hate losing and whenever I lose it’s because it rigged. 

Remember. Not. A. Sore. Loser. 

I snatch the cheque from Josie, putting out my debit card to pay, “Whatever. It was a stupid game.” 

“Awww, don’t be a sore loser Penny.” She teases. 

“It’s because you are taller that’s why.” I defend. 

Josie rolls her eyes playfully at that, “Penelope. We are currently sitting.” 

I shake my head and cross my arms, “You can still tell.” I pout. 

Josie’s face turns smug, “Maybe I am the top then. We could always switch things up.” 

Nope. I am a top. Well, with Josie I am a top. I have been topped by other women. But with mine and Josie’s dynamic, it just doesn’t make sense. If we ever bought a strap on, I could never see Josie wearing it. And the reason is clear. She is a bottom. I am a top. 

“Absolutely not. I know you love it when I am dominant.”

Josie chokes on her water at that, and a quickly apologize. Okay. You are not supposed to say those things when you are at a romatic dinner. Don’t turn everything into sex! That’s exactly what Josie doesn’t want. 

Then the waitress comes and takes the cheque from me. I almost feel petty and leave her a bad tip. But she was a good waitress and that would be rude. So, of course, I leave her a nice tip and with that Josie and I leave the restaurant and head to the movies.

I honestly don’t pay attention much to what movie Josie picks to watch. I am too busy paying attention to the way her face lit up when I told her I could pick. She looked like a kid in a candy store. 

Once I pay for the food, which Josie’s essentially begged for me to let her pay for it, which of course I declined saying she could just get next time, we head to the theatre. I am pleased to see that the seats are the really comfortable ones that can move up and are set in doubles. They even let you raise the armrest, allowing it to be the perfect place to cuddle. 

I remember to not lead the contact though. If Josie wants to cuddle I want her to lead it. I don’t want to come on too strong.

Once we sit, we sit with the armrest down for the first two trailers. I can see Josie staring into the side of my head, but whenever I turn to look at her, she pretends to be watching the screen. 

Josie finally lets out a huff, before lifting the armrest. I raise my eyebrow at her. 

“I want to cuddle.” She pouts but her voice is quiet. Maybe worried about my reaction. 

Trying to show her I want this as much as she does, I lean over and place a soft kiss on her lips. She tastes sweet. 

Josie just looks in a daze, and I open my arms to her, and she falls into me. She settles with her head on my chest and her leg over my straight ones. 

God, she smells good. And cuddling with her is just. Heavenly. 

The movies start and Josie starts shifting, looking like she is uncomfortable. “You okay?” I whisper into her ear, trying to not disturb anyone. 

She moves her body more before simply nodding her head. I kiss her forehead in hopes of settling her down. It doesn’t seem to do much. 

I start rubbing mindless circles into her exposed shoulder. Feeling how soft her skin is under my fingertips. She eventually stops shifting, finding a spot where her whole body is pressed into the side of mine. She makes slight movements, but nothing that worries me.

When I wrap my fingers in her hair, lightly playing with her hair and rubbing her scalp, shes sighs into me, turning her head into my neck. 

I look up at the movie, wondering if it’s a scary part, but this movie has no scary parts. I almost ask why she isn’t watching the movie, but her warm breath on my neck is too good to let go of. If she wants to stay clingy on to me, she can be my guest. I sure as hell ain’t complaining. 

At the end of the movie, I am almost sure she is asleep, but she pulls herself out of my neck as soon as the credits roll and her eyes are bright, showing no signs of just waking up. 

“Hey.” My voice is so so soft.

“Hi.” Cutie. Such a cutie. 

I kiss her nose, which causes her to scrunch it. So, of course, I kiss it again. 

“Now it’s time for the surprise” I whisper to her as the rest of the audience find out.   
Josie just kisses me as a response and all my nerves that surround her not liking the mill being the surprise vanishes. 

How does she do that? 

I am so whipped for her. I am in so much trouble and I absolutely love it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. How did you guys like it? I live for your comments. Also, FYI, next chapter is in Josie's POV and it will include the Mill and the fact that shes is a total horn dog the entire time.


	19. The Horndog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie's POV of the date. BTW, if you didn't know this. She is a total horndog. Also drug use warning (only weed... don't worry)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am so so sorry for the wait! It a really long chapter though so I hope that makes up for it.

Josie’s POV

I feel like a broken record. 

The same thoughts. The same feelings. The same reactions. Over and over again. 

But it is the farthest thing from boring. It’s exhilarating. But most importantly, it’s a bit embarrassing. 

It seems that anything Penelope does turns me on. It is actually rather ridiculous. 

Of course, I was well aware before that I was very attracted to her, but tonight is too much. And most of the time, I don’t even think she is aware of it. I don’t think she is even trying to, and that’s what’s embarrassing. 

She is being kind, chivalrous and sweet. Just how you should be on a first date. Not thinking like a horndog, thinking about how good she is in bed. Or how if she tried to take you right here, you think you might let her. Yeah. That is not first date thoughts, and that’s why I feel so guilty for them. 

To make matters worse, the no sex rule is still in place. I do really want to get to know Pen better, but god she’s so hot and sexy. I don’t know what I find hotter. When she is being chivalrous like when she pulled the seat out for me, the thought of her taking care of me goes deeper and deeper until it turns significantly less appropriate. Or when she is cute and nervous, like when she was worried I wouldn’t like the restaurant. Just the care she is putting into this date is somehow driving me wild. 

Sometimes it’s little things I notice that she does that sends heat straight to my core. When we were eating at the restaurant. She got some sauce on her lip, and when I pointed it out, she got it with her finger, and placed her finger in her mouth, lightly sucking off the sauce. And then, as if she was completely unaware of my sudden arousal of her tease, she dug back into her food. She doesn’t even know when she is being sexy. 

A lot of the time, I would just get lost looking at her. When she would laugh and give her toothy smile, I would just get lost in her beauty. Then I would think about how hot she is, and then my mind would wander to dirty thoughts like how good she looks naked or how good she looks between my legs. 

I would always reel my mind back though, not wanting to ruin this date with my...hormones. I do really want to get to know her, and I did learn a bit. She was rather short when I asked about her family though. Surprisingly enough, with all the rumours and gossip about Penelope Park, none of them were about her family. It was a mystery, and I won’t lie. It bothers me a little bit that it is still one. Does she not trust me enough? Or does she just not like talking about her family? I guess it is the first date. Opening up doesn’t happen overnight. 

And then, of course, I had to go on my long rant about my family and feeling constantly in the background. I know that I am not used to sharing my feelings all the time, especially when it negatively impacts someone else. Why would I tell my parents how I feel if it would just make them feel worse. I see how my dad’s face falls whenever Lizzie is rude to him about not being around enough. I don’t want to be the reason why someone feels like shit. But with Penelope, she pulls out something inside me that just makes me want to confess everything to her. I did not, however, tell her about the whole biological mother thing and her getting murdered by my uncle at her wedding. It’s not that I don’t want to tell her, it’s just that I don’t want to ruin this date. 

Well, I was very close to ruining in during that piggyback ride. Worst mistake of my life. I should not have jumped on Penelope’s back. I think that started my endless spiral of horniness that I just can’t seem to crawl out of right now. I was wearing a dress, which means that Penelope was gripping my bare thighs. It drove me wild, to say the least. It took me a while to get comfortable on her back, mostly because the wetness starting to form between my legs was making me uncomfortable. Then Penelope had to just about break me with her words. 

“All good cowgirl?” 

Fuck. 

I don’t even think she meant it in an inappropriate way but my mind went right to it. With the words cowgirl and ride relating to each other so closely, could you blame me that images of riding Penelope flashed through my mind. At first, it was merely me riding her face. I have done it before and it was fucking awesome. I don’t even remember how many times I came that night. But then, I imagined myself riding Penelope who was wearing a strap-on. I haven’t thought about it much just because, well, I am a baby gay, but when my mind kinda exploded when I thought of that. I could feel wetness starting to pool when I picture me riding her while she praised me, calling me a good girl and saying how well I take it. I bounce on her, showing her how good I can be for her. 

So, you can’t blame me that my response was non-verbal and that that image never left my mind. When she actually started walking with me on her back, and my body would slightly bounce with each step she took, I was a goner. I didn’t want to ask to get down, just in case she thought something was wrong and I had to explain myself. Plus, I could tell that when she asked if I wanted a piggyback, she was worried I would say no. 

So I stayed on her back, with my front pressed tightly to her back, and with her soft hands gripping the bottom of my thighs. It was. A lot. It eventually became too much where I was moving so much on her back, trying to take some of this godly pressure off my core because I was worried a moan or something would slip past my lips. Thankfully, she asked if I wanted down and I saw that as my chance to escape. So I did, but it rattled me for sure. Left me on edge for the rest of the night. 

Which takes us to now. Currently at the movie theatre with Penelope who just bought my food. Who knew chivalry could be so hot. She even let me pick the movie. The movie I picked would be something never Raf would have gone with me to see. I recall him on many occasions denying my moving choice with the simple words, “Chick flick. Not going to happen.”

So now that Pen has given me the movie choice, bought my food and hasn’t complained once, it’s just somewhat foreign to me. But of course, it’s better. Much better. 

Excitement and fear strike me as we enter the movie theatre as the seats are the ones that are made for couples. They are set in doubles with moveable arms wrests and wide chairs that can recline. So essentially a makeshift bed. So bonus, I get to lie with Penelope while watching this movie. Negative, I have to keep it in my pants, and lying this close to her, makes it way more difficult. Especially how great this date has been making it worse. The constant focus on my centre seems to have doubled. All my blood seems to have rushed there, and as we prepare to lie down, I worry she will feel it. Or hear it. That’s not possible, right?

It is that fear that causes me to hesitate. To not lift the armrest right away in worry that she will see how needy I am. How willing I am to break to rule. How much I crave her. I keep telling myself that Penelope is here to show she can be more than sex. So by constantly thinking about it, I am demeaning her efforts. It’s just so hard. 

So instead of making the move I wait for her to do it. I don’t want her to know how desperate I am. Although the waitress for some reason thought I was the top, much to Penelope’s dismay, I certainly am not. Well in most situations, and currently right now, I am desperate for her, but I want Pen in control. I want her to make the move.

So I wait. And wait. And it feels like hours, but once I pay back attention to the screen instead of her gorgeous profile, I realize that we have only gone through two trailers. Two! And I already feel like I am about to explode with frustration and anticipation. 

I am far too needy to stay on my side of the chair. To go through the whole movie without touching her. It just feels like I would be walking on a tightrope. Putting myself in a position that would just make me feel. It’s too much temptation not to jump her right now in public, but once my body is pressed up against hers, I will lose control. I won’t be surprised if I ask her to take me right there. I would beg her. I would promise her I would be quiet, but I already know I wouldn’t be. Maybe she would hold her hand over my mouth to make my moans softer. Or I would bury my face in her shoulder as she whispers how good I am being in her ear. Maybe it would be super discrete if she touched me under the dress. I bet we wouldn’t get caught.

Fuck. I can’t do this. 

With a huff and pull up the armrest and I feel like I just crossed the line into enemy territory. Why would I allow myself to be put in such a dangerous position? 

Penelope looks like me with her perfect eyebrow raised, questioning my sudden movements. 

“I want to cuddle.” Yep. That’s what leaves my mouth. While I suppose it is false, it isn’t the worst lie. And I guess it’s not fully false. I always want to cuddle with her, but right now I would rather fuck her. Or she fucks me. Either is good. 

And then she has to go and give me the sweetest kiss on the lips. She is obviously oblivious to my not so innocent thoughts.

The beat and pulse returns in between my thighs. I bet she can feel the beat against her thigh, where I have now pressed myself to. It’s a little bit of pressure, and again, I walk towards the cliff, seeing how close I can get without falling off. It’s a dangerous game but it’s so delicious. 

I always thought of myself as someone who has had good will power. I have kept my mouth shut when I want to speak. I have been nice to Lizzie when all I wanted to do was yell. I have done good when I wanted to do bad. I can control myself. But right now, my control is being tested to the limits.

“You okay?’ Penelope whispers in my ear. Am I really that obvious? I guess my shifting is less subtle than I thought. She is probably worried that I am moving so much, and I am sure her soft voice in my ear would have been reassuring if that was the case but right now, it ignites the fire even more. 

Not trusting my voice, I just dumbly nod my head. God, I have to stop acting too weird or I am going to freak out Penelope. 

I continue to make small movements for two reasons. Number one, I am worried she will feel the heartbeat between my legs. And second, is sometimes I press further into her for a bit of pressure. Again, it’s a dangerous game but she is just so addicting. 

She starts rubbing my bare shoulder with her magical hands, and I start to question if she’s doing all of this on purpose. If she is trying to get me all flustered. But then I remember that just because I am a horndog that can’t control their hormones doesn’t mean she is. Right now she is being the perfect date and all I can think about is her sliding her hand up my dress, teasing me until I beg her ear. God that would be so hot. 

I get lost in the endless things I want Penelope to do to me that I completely forget there is a movie. Even one that I wanted to watch but it seems to be unimportant and uninteresting now that I am pressed up against the hottest girl in the world. 

And then just when I am calming down a little, she starts massaging my scalp and I swear my eyes roll to the back of my head. I try my best to not let out the moan the settles in the bottom of my throat but a light sigh leaves my lips. That’s fine right? You would totally sigh from someone running their hands in your hair. It’s normal. The sigh totally didn’t leave my lips because I was picturing her tightening her grip on my hair and giving it a tug. Fuck. 

This is too much. I feel like I am going to combust in flames. My body feels much too hot and at this point I am wet enough where my panties are sticking to my uncomfortably. 

To perhaps slow these thoughts or maybe even speed them up, and bury my head into her neck, no longer paying attention to the movie. It’s not like I have an idea what it is about anyway. 

Breathing in her perfume is intoxicating, but there is something else there that is just so… Her. Being wrapped up with her for sure reminds me of other activities. I wonder if I can be quiet enough for Penelope to fuck me right now. If we can go unnoticed by the other audience members. If Pen would even want to touch me in public. 

But I know I won’t ask. I won’t push for it because I don’t want her to know how needy I am. I don’t want to taint this date and make it all about sex, no matter how hard I want to. 

My body feels like it is being tortured in the best way possible. The contact is not enough, and it begs me to lightly grind against her leg to search for some relief. So yeah, maybe the rest of the movie I focus on not moving my hips and trying to not let my mind wander so much. Let’s just say I have way better control of my hips then I do my mind. 

It feels like forever when the movie finally ends, and I pull myself from my comfortable spot. The movie theatre is still dark so I hope she can’t see the blush painting my face. 

“Hey.” God her voice is so smooth. So hot. 

“Hi,” I whisper back, lost and distracted completely by her. 

She kisses my nose, and kisses it again. I could never picture in a million years that Penelope Park would be this much of a softie. Honestly, it makes me feel a little guilty that she is being so sweet and I just feel like a perv. I can be good. For the rest of the night, I am really going to try and not think about it. I want to enjoy tonight and it is not all about sex. 

“Now it’s time for the surprise.” Penelope interrupts my thoughts. I can tell she is worried. Just like she was with the restaurant. She is worried I won’t like it, but honestly anything Penelope can give me I will love. Just the effort she has put into this date shows how serious she is. Shows how well she can treat me. It shows me that she is trying to gain back my trust, and I can already feel it building back again. 

I kiss her because I am a bit overwhelmed by being treated so well. I guess I am not used to it. It warms my heart that someone is trying this hard for me. I want to reassure her that she is doing a great job. The kiss is quick and sweet, which I make sure of, not wanting to be lost in my dirty thoughts again. 

So with that, we wait for the movie theatre to pile out, and we don’t bring up the movie once. I don’t bring it up because honestly I know nothing about it, and I am sure she doesn’t because she knows I wasn’t paying attention. 

We seem to be walking back to the school for the surprise, and I make sure to hold her hand. Show her my appreciation for all she has done. I really do owe her a great date. Or maybe I can pay her back by sending her a few scandalous pictures of me doi-. Okay. No. No more dirty thoughts. 

We walk in comfortable silence for a short while before Penelope speaks up, “You don’t have to be somewhere tonight right?” She lightly tugs on my hand to get my attention. 

“Nope, I am all yours.” I grin back at her, trying my best to not let my mind go down that path again. I am hers right now, and she can take me however she likes. 

Penelope smiles back but I can see her nerves. I find that when someone else is nervous, it surprisingly does the opposite to me. Maybe it’s because I feel as I should comfort them, and by being nervous I would just make the situation worse. 

I remember that when we were little, Lizzie and I went to Disneyland, and Lizzie was really scared of heights. And I was too, I would actually say it was my biggest fear. When our Mom essentially forced us to go on the tower of terror, I could see Lizzie starting to panic. She was trying her best to not make a huge scene and embarrass herself. She didn’t want to disappoint mom either. 

So when we got on the ride, I held her hand the whole time, talking to her about her crush at the time. I was so focused on making Lizzie feel better that I didn’t even realize I should have been scared, or that we were dangerously high. 

The point is, distracting yourself with others’ feelings and problems is a good way to get rid of yours. Or at least forget about them. 

So following this code, I push my nerves and awkwardness down, trying my best to soothe Penelope who is squeezing my hand tighter and tighter the closer we get to the school. I don’t think she is even aware she is doing it. 

So I do what I did for Lizzie. Distract.

“You know,” I start, “I am not really that shocked that the waitress thought I was the top.” I lie. Honestly, I would have bet good money that the waitress would have put the cheque down in front of Penelope. I think her confidence and dominance are rather obvious. She just gives off this powerful aura. 

Penelope pouts at that, letting out a huff before ranting, “Okay. She honestly is blind. Like I am sorry if we asked 100 people who were the top, I guarantee 99 people would say me. Like I get I am not super butch or anything, but you are just so… I don’t know… not a top.” At this point, I think Penelope is mostly ranting to herself. 

And I know I am a bottom, but there have been times where I have been somewhat dominant. And I like it, it was super hot, but I for sure like being topped by Penelope more. I try to continue teasing her, because not only does she look less nervous, but because she’s super cute when she's frustrated. 

“Well, that’s not what the waitress said.” I say in a sing-song voice just to annoy her. 

Penelope bumps shoulders with me, showing that she isn’t taking this seriously and is having just as much fun with this as I am. 

“Well, I am not the one with the praise kink so…” She shrugs at me and I can feel the blush already forming.

Firstly because as much as I would like to deny and probably try to, it is in fact true. But honestly I just think I have a Penelope Park kink. 

Secondly, because I am really trying my hardest to not think about Penelope whispering praise in my ear as she teases me with her skillful fingers. 

Thirdly, I am an overall shy person. I never really had a healthy sex life before her, and I didn’t talk about it really with anyone. Of course I wouldn’t talk to Lizzie about how Raf was in bed, and I wasn’t close to Hope until recently. So for me, talking about sex, it’s just a little bit foreign to me. It’s going to take a bit to get used to, but I think sex should be talked about. Especially between the people having it. Communication is key.

Once I feel like I can form words, I deny the claim, “I do not.” But it doesn’t seem like a genuine denial as it leaves my mouth. 

In response, Penelope just scoffs and raises her eyebrows, tilting her head to the side, making sure that I can read the ‘really’ that she is trying to express with her face. 

Now I am a little worried I might have swum too far, and I am worried that the undercurrent is too powerful and I am going to get pulled away by my attraction towards her and won’t be able to stop. I really have to stop putting myself in situations that make me want to jump her when the one goal I promised myself is to not do that. 

So I choose to give up the fight because I am worried Penelope is bringing up evidence to prove her point, or maybe try to make new evidence right now. 

“Fine. Maybe.” I huff, letting go of her hand and crossing my arms topping it off with my signature pout. 

“Awww don’t pout.” Penelope replies, pulling us to a stop and fully turning to me, but I can tell by her smile she knows am I just teasing her. 

She unwrapped my folded arms, “come on. Give me a smile.” She grabs my face and squeezes my cheeks. She then places a soft kiss on my lips when she sees my pout is still present. All it takes is another kiss on my nose for me to break out in a smile. 

“There we go,” She says, giving me a last peck on the forehead. 

And then she is perhaps the most unfair thing ever. She looks at me with a devilish smirk and says right to me. “Good girl.” 

My mouth falls at that and it opens and closed a few times before I playfully shove her by the shoulders, “Fuck you.” I laugh. 

She laughs, looking way too amused with herself. God, I don’t even think she knows how crazy I am for her. Just when I thought I was doing a good job of not focusing on sex, she has to do that. The familiar throbbing starts again. 

I didn’t even realize that we actually arrived at the surprise, I was too busy focusing on Penelope. Well, at least she doesn’t look nervous anymore. 

“So, this is the surprise. It’s not a big deal or anything. Just something small.” Okay. Maybe she is still nervous. 

And with that, she walks me into the mill. 

“Woah.” 

The old mill is decorated with fairy lights, and right in the middle of the floor is a nice blanket out with a fruit platter with fondue. 

I don’t think anyone has ever done something so romantic and sweet for me. She really cares about me. She has really outdone herself. She always is surprising me. She keeps just getting better and better. And I find myself liking her more and more. Finding that our connection is getting deeper and deeper. 

I have never felt this way, and right now it has nothing to do with lust. 

“You like it,” Penelope says with excitement in her voice. She doesn’t pose it as a question because I think my face and the ‘Woah’ was enough to show how much I truly love it. 

I kind of get tongue-tied after that. What am I supposed to say? Thank you? Thank you does it seem like enough. So instead of expressing myself with words, I do it with my body. 

With determination and speed, and barrel over to Penelope, wrapping her in the tightest hug, hoping that will show my appreciation. 

She takes a second to hug me back, probably not expecting my sudden show of affection. When that quick second is over, her arms wrap around my waist, squeezing my tight and pressing me against her. 

Being taller than her, my arms are wrapped around her neck, and I lazily fall into her, allowing her to have to hold most of my weight. 

“I love it Pen.” My voice is filled with emotions. I sound like I am about to cry and maybe I am. It just feels really good to be treated like this. I am not used to it I guess. 

She responds by hugging me even tighter and burying her face deeper into my hair. We stay like that for a while. I couldn’t tell you how long exactly. It feels long yet not long enough. 

Once we finally pull away, we create some distance between us, allowing me to take in the room again. The effort and the thought she put into this makes me want to hug her again, but I don’t. 

My eyes focus on the food, especially the chocolate fondue. 

“You’re still hungry right?” Penelope’s raw and unsteady voice breaks the silence, causing me to turn to her.

I give her a small smile and nod my head. She gestures for me to sit, and when I do she sits on the opposite side, and I pout internally a bit. I want to be able to touch her. 

Before we dive into the food, I can’t help but ask, “How did you do all of this?” The question I wonder is why, but I feel like that would be rude to ask. I love that she did this for me, but I get stuck on the question ‘why me?’. Why is the big bad Penelope Park planning a super romantic date for me?

Penelope looks rather shy, and it’s a really cute look on her, “Well I set some stuff set up before, and I made Hope help with some of the other stuff.” 

“It’s perfect,” I say in awe as I take in the situation. I am not just saying that to make her feel better, I truly think it. 

And with that, we dig into the food. I do my best to not stare and Penelope but she makes it so hard. She is biting into a chocolate-dipped strawberry. That is like the sexiest food. How is that fair? I feel like I have a flashback to the restaurant as she licks some chocolate off her lip. 

Come on Josie. Don’t turn this into sex again. This is romantic, sweet and innocent. Don’t taint this. 

Conversation. The conversation is a good distraction. “Good to know this place is more than just a good place to party.” 

Penelope nods her head, waiting for a second to swallow the food in her mouth before responding. And I was totally not watching how her throat bobbed. “And a good place for smoking weed.” 

Oh yeah. I kinda forgot Penelope is a bit of a stoner. It doesn’t really seem to fit with her brand. She always seems so on and aware, and from my small experience, weed just makes you chill. Now that I remember it, the night of the party, Penelope was smoking weed on the roof. She even offered me some, which I declined. I didn’t really feel like being high after just being broken up with by Raf, and I was already drinking anyway. 

“You smoke here often?” It might not seem like an interesting conversation but everything about Penelope is interesting. I want to know all about her. Her likes, her dislikes, her hobbies, her guilty pleasures. I want to know everything. The good, the bad and the ugly

“I smoke in my room sometimes, but whenever I just need space I smoke here.” She seems a little uncomfortable telling me this. I don’t know if it’s because she just gave away her safe place or because of the smoking thing. I hope she doesn’t think I am judging her. 

And for these thoughts for some reason make me blurt out, “Do you have a joint right now?” 

I don’t know if it’s because Penelope is showing me this spot, that it just seems right to smoke here because that is what she does when she is here. Maybe, it will make me feel closer to her? I don’t know. I also want her to know I don’t care that she smokes. It's going to make me like her any less. And mostly, I really think it would be fun to be high with Penelope. As I said, I want to see all of her. Which means high Penelope. 

Penelope’s face scrunches up at my question, looking confused and a bit defensive, “Why?” She asks before asking the question. 

Does she think I am going to tell on her or something? 

Now I feel kind of stupid for asking the question, so my explanation comes across tentative, “I don’t know. I thought that maybe if you had one, we could like, smoke or something.” God, I sound pathetic. 

Penelope's face lights up though. She looks like she is trying to contain her excitement, but her lips twitching into a smile and the brightness of her eyes gives her away. 

“You would smoke with me?” If Penelope had a tail right now, it for sure would be wagging. 

“Yeah,” I whisper out. 

Pen gasps, “Josie Saltzman smoking weed on a first date?” Mock horror fills her face. 

I grab a piece of the closest fruit and hurl it at her, which she of course catches because she is perfect at everything. “Shut up. I have smoked before!” 

Penelope crosses her arms, “Really?”

I huff, “Yes, multiple times. A few times with Lizzie, a couple of times with Raf and with MG.” See? I can be cool. 

“Okay.”

I tilt my head, “Okay, what.”

Penelope gets up from her seated position, “Let’s get high.”

Okay, so I am really doing this. Most times when I am high, and I am pretty chill. I usually just relax and laugh a lot. I just hope I don’t do anything embarrassing. Like that one time where I kept thinking I peed myself. I was really high okay? MG’s weed is strong. 

I follow Penelope to a wall, and she whispers some spell that reveals an opening in the wood. There she pulls out a wooden box, and in a very theatrical way, she opens the box, showing my multiple pre-rolled joints. 

She plucks out a smaller joint and pulls out a lighter. Holding the joint between her lips, she gives me a questioning glance, “Ready?”

I nod my head in response because seeing Penelope with a joint between her lips is really just doing something for me. I didn’t know smoking could be this hot. Especially when she lights it and lets the smoke flow out of her kissable lips. Fuck. I really want to kiss her right now. 

Smoke first. Kiss later. 

Penelope takes a few more puffs before she hands it to me, looking very amused that I am smoking. I take it from her hands, and our fingers touch each other and that little point of contact feels like electricity. 

I am in trouble for sure. 

I make sure to maintain eye contact with Penelope the whole time I bring the joint to my lips and take a little inhale. Start slow, don’t embarrass yourself. Penelope is like a pro smoker. 

A small smoke cloud leaves my lips, which looks pathetic trailing next to Penelope’s large cloud. 

“You gotta take more than that rookie.” She jokes. 

I pout, “I don’t want to cough.” 

Penelope seems to be fine with my answer because she doesn’t comment further on my little baby puffs. 

After 4 hits, I had back the joint to Penelope, and after she inhales, she blows the cloud right in my face. 

“Penelope.” I squeal, and she gives me a lazy smirk, but this time it looks even lazier than usual. She must be feeling high. 

She takes a couple more, and honestly it’s a little impressive how much she is smoking. She for sure isn’t a light-weight. 

I can already feel it hit my body. My legs tingle slightly and a smile seems plastered to my face. When she offers it back, I shake my head, “I think I am good.”

“Yeah,” Penelope says, looking a little lost. Her voice is deeper and slower as she speaks, “Want to shotgun my last one?” 

Shotgun? My mind instantly goes to the wolves shotgunning beers any chance they have at parties. 

Penelope must notice my confusion because she giggles, “Shotgun is when you blow smoke into the other person’s mouth.”

So I guess high Penelope giggles. That’s cute. 

I can’t help but giggle back. Everything just seems a little funnier right now, “Well you already blew smoke in my face, might as well.” 

“Okay,” Penelope responds before taking a long inhale, and I just get lost in her lips. I really want to taste them right now. They always taste so good. God, she tastes good all over. Especially her p-

I am interrupting by Penelope pressing her lips against mine and slowly blowing smoking into my mouth. 

I just stand there and let her do it, too shocked and a little too high to move. 

She slowly moves away, and a blow out what she gave me. The cloud isn’t that big, but it’s pretty cool actually. Plus, I got to kiss Penelope. 

Well kinda. I guess that wasn’t a real kiss. I want a real kiss. You know what. This is a date. I can just take one. 

So I grab the back of Penelope's neck and pull her into me. She quickly throws the joint on the ground and stomps her foot over it to prevent any fire. Fire is cool though. 

Once she knows that the mill won’t catch on fire, she presses her lips to mine and god damn, it’s so great. 

The kiss unsurprisingly is lazy, but it still is amazing. I swear I see fireworks go off, but I think it might just be because I am high. What for sure happens though is I become very aware of how horny I am. Again. 

It seems that with my high, everything just feels...more I guess. So the throbbing I felt before is nothing to compare to what I feel now. 

God, I need her. I need her to take me. 

Our kiss quickly turns to a heated make-out session and both of us let little gasps and moans leave our mouth.   
I can’t take it anymore. I really can’t be standing anymore. My legs feel like jelly and no matter how much I tug Penelope into me, it isn’t enough contact. 

Without breaking the kiss, I walk her backwards towards to blanket. She seems to get the hint because once I lower myself, she follows. It is very slow-moving but somehow smooth. I end up straddling Penelope who is fully lying down. 

We continue with our fiery kisses and I can’t help but grind down into her. I am beyond horny at this point. My panties are for sure ruined. 

My grinding is anything but subtle. The built-up of sexual frustration comes crashing down. My hips jerk against her, finding friction. 

Although my hips are moving at a fast pace, our mouths are not. We take time to explore each other, and I am sure the weed is slowing down our movements. 

The pressure is good, but not enough. It’s enough for me to let out needy whimpers in Penelope’s mouth, which encourages Penelope to grip my thighs on either side of her legs. The contact causes me to let out a moan that disconnects our lips. 

Thinking that I won’t be able to kiss her with all the moans, sighs and mewls leaving my mouth, I bury my head into to her neck, continuing to buck into her. 

God I need her inside of me. I need her to fuck me and fuck me hard. I need her to make me come until I can’t. I need her so badly. 

Penelope has made me more vocal, but I blame the weed with how upfront and dirty I am being. Actually, I think it is mostly the sexual frustration. “Please Pen. Fuck me.” I whimper into her ear between shaky breaths. 

And with that, Penelope grips my hips, and right when I think she is going to flip me, her grip stays steady, making me unable to continue my motions on her lap. 

“Jojo, wait.” God, her voice is so raspy. 

Wait. Did she just tell me to wait? 

I pull away from her neck, fully sitting on her lap, looking down at her in confusion, “What happened?” 

Penelope brings her hand up to caress my cheek, attempting to calm me down, “Nothing happened. Although I really really really want to take you right now, we shouldn’t.” 

But we are on a date? We got to learn about each other, so why can’t we fuck? 

I sit back on her with my full weight, even though my lips feel all weird, I can tell that my bottom lip is sticking out in a pout, “Why?”

Penelope pulls herself up to her elbows, looking deep in my eyes, “Well firstly, we have a no sex rule.” 

I go to interrupt to say that I don’t need to go slow anymore. I am fine with fast. But Penelope speaks before I can object. 

“And maybe you want to break that rule now, but you are high. I just don’t want you regretting it.” Her thumb rubs soothingly against my flushed cheek, and I lean into it. 

“I won’t regret it.” I attempt to reassure her. 

Penelope looks very vulnerable right now. Even though her eyes are a little more red and squinty from smoking, I can tell by her eyes. Her voice comes out a soft whisper and it kinda breaks my heart, “I don’t want to ruin this.”

I place a sweet kiss on her puffy lips, “You can’t ruin this. Trust me.”

She really can’t. Everything she does is magic. I am so enamoured with every aspect of her. I am honestly worried that she can do no wrong. Maybe I will always forgive her because I like her that much. 

I feel the mood and tone change. I know we won’t have sex tonight. If Penelope doesn’t want to or thinks she might be taking advantage in some sort of way, I won’t push it. 

“Wanna finish eating?” I bounce on her lap. Not in a sexual way. Well kind of. 

When she nods I roll off her, and crawl to the food plate which looks crazy delicious. Penelope sits behind me, and once I get a handful of fruit and settle my head on her lap. She plays with my hair and I hum in appreciation.

“Feed me?” I ask, giving my best puppy dog eyes. 

Penelope laughs, “Only because you are so cute Jojo.” 

So for a while, I lie on Penelope’s lap while she feeds me delicious food and scratches my scalp. This is the life. I feel like royalty. 

Once I get full, Penelope breaks whatever dumb and high conversation we were having with a question, “Do you want to come back to my room?” 

And with that, I raise a hopeful eyebrow. Does she mean what I think she means?

She quickly clarifies herself, “To watch Netflix and cuddle and sleep?” 

That’s still good. That’s better than good. 

“Yeah.” And with that, we walk hand to hand back to the school. 

Best date ever. 

“Jojo, that wasn’t even my sex weed. Just wait till you try that.” Penelope laughs. 

I grumble a quiet shut up before we walk into Penelope’s cozy room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Opinions??
> 
> Please please comment on what you thought. I am a little unsure of this one! 
> 
> Also, tell me what you want to see in the upcoming chapters? 
> 
> Looking forward to your feedback!


	20. Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gives you a deeper look into Penelope's thoughts. Lots of fluff and filler. More plot stuff will happen soon

Penelope’s POV

I deserve a god damn medal. 

They should have a whole ass ceremony, make a podium and make me stand on top holding flowers. They should give me a gold medal. I truly deserve it. Maybe I would even do a victory lap. They should even throw a parade for me. 

Because I seem to have the best self-control in the history of the world. 

When a very horny Josie Saltzman is dry humping you begging you to fuck her, how the hell do you say no? Well, I did. Somehow.

The discipline it took to tell her to wait is astonishing. To grab her hips to stop her heavenly movements, not encourage them was painful. Everything in my body was yelling for me to give in and bury myself deep in her. It was more exhausting than any physical fight I have ever had with a monster. Even the time where I got thrown by one and my rib broke. That is somehow less painful and gruelling. 

I am not going to lie. I didn’t want to stop. I really didn’t. I wanted to take it further, but I needed to stop it. 

Call me skittish or whatever, but there was no way I was going to take that risk. Sure, the payoff would have been probably the best thing ever. Being able to touch her like that is a gift from God that I couldn’t be thankful enough to have. And sure, there was a huge chance that I could have fucked her right there and she wouldn’t have regretted it the next day. It might have been a sober thought. Hell, she could have wanted to break this rule long before we started smoking. 

But.

What if she did regret it? What if it makes things weird. What if she thinks I took advantage of her. What if she thought that this whole date was a rouse to fuck her again and break her own rule. I don’t want her thinking that because it’s far from the truth. I planned this date with no expectation of sex. No expectations of anything really. Even if she didn’t kiss me once, it would have been fine. She doesn’t owe me anything. I don’t want her to think she does. 

Being with Josie is way too great to throw away for sex. Even if it is amazing sex with her. She means so much more than that, and I feel stupid I didn’t realize it right away. How could I not realize that I wanted so much more out of her than what I got at that party? How dumb was I to think that I could fuck her to get her out of my system? 

She is wholly a part of my system now. A part of my being. It feels like now I am hers. Completely. Whatever she wants to give me, I will take it.   
It’s rather pathetic and before Jojo, I was nothing of the sorts. Jojo makes me weak but in the best possible way. 

Essentially I am her bitch. 

Whipped. 

But don’t forget. I am still the top. Well, at least sexually I am. Josie for sure leads every other aspect of our relationship and I just follow behind her like some lovesick puppy. 

And I for sure felt pathetic when the whisper left my mouth saying that I didn’t want to ruin this. I felt vulnerable. And although it was a scary moment to show her that side of me, I know it had to be done. I had to show her how seriously I was taking us. And I know that being with anyone takes a lot of vulnerability. It is essentially slowly letting your walls down until there is none. Before, that sounded like the worst thing to me. I want to be independent. Have my own thoughts and feeling that I can keep to myself. But then, she came along. 

Jojo. 

Now I know the path of being exposed is something that brings fear, courage and weakness but for Josie, I will do it. Letting her see me completely as myself doesn’t sound horrible. Sure, it still is scary as hell, but it feels worth it. It’s what I want. 

And today’s date with Josie has been great. And I feel relieved it didn’t go to shit. I fully expected it to. Not because of Josie, but because of me. Not only am I a notorious fuck up, but when it comes to feelings and romance, well you can take up that ‘fuck up’ dial a couple of notches. So fuck yeah, I feel proud. She seemed to like everything and honestly getting to know her was great. I didn’t know just having conversations could be so interesting. 

With every word that left her mouth, and every reaction she displayed, every smile, I found myself falling deeper and deeper into her spell. I didn’t know I could like her any more than I did, but I adore her more and more with each passing second. 

Usually, it’s the other way for me, and I don’t just mean romantically. I find that I like someone, enjoy spending time with them. It’s like the honeymoon phase but with friends. And then with more time, I start seeing things about the person that annoys me. Or sometimes I realize that they might be a shit person. Or even that we just don’t vibe as well I thought. And then I distance myself away. 

It’s like that with almost everyone, expect Hope and MG. I mean sure, they annoy the shit out of me sometimes, but not enough to say fuck it to our friendship. And I believe they are good people. They make me better too, which is a bonus. 

But Jojo is another story. The connection hasn’t slowed at all. It has actually sped up. The more and more I learn about her, the more and more I like her. And of course romantically, but friend-wise too. Like, if she never wanted me the way I wanted her, and I think we would have made great friends. Sure, it would have been me hiding my feelings from her, but I still think we would have had a good friendship. 

And I think it’s important to have that with someone you are dating. You should be friends with whoever you are dating. They should be your best friend. I guess I am going to have to break the news to Hope at some point. I am sure she will understand. She knows what Josie Saltzman can do to you. 

I don’t know if I would say Josie is my best friend right now, but she for sure will be. Right now she is by far my favourite person. Just as your girlfriend should be. 

Wait. 

She is not my girlfriend. Right? One date doesn’t mean that. Nowadays you have to say if you want to date. Otherwise, it’s just a ‘thing’. Is that what Jojo and I have? It feels more than just a ‘thing’. Things don’t last and I want this to last with her. I mean we are exclusive which means it’s more than a thing right? 

I mean. I think we are exclusive? Like before my fuck up, I told her I didn’t want her to date Landon. And I mean, I 100% will be exclusive. Even if it isn’t said explicitly. Maybe I should talk to her about that. Just to make sure we are on the same page. No more fuck ups. But exclusive doesn’t mean girlfriend right? 

Girlfriend is a big word. It really is. Has a lot of meaning behind it. I guess it’s a heavy word too. Even saying the word in my head feels weird. Girl. friend. 

Weird right?

Or maybe I am just too fried. Yeah, it’s for sure that. 

All I know is that right now, that word is a little too heavy to carry right now. 

What?

Can you blame me? I have a very fragile heart okay. Girlfriend just adds more pressure, and more weight means more chances of it cracking.

Later. Girlfriend is a later thing. Something not to think about on the first date, especially when things are going so well. That word means more complications. Right now, I want to take baby steps. And the next baby step is exclusive.   
“Were exclusive right?” Oh. Shit. I guess I just said that then. 

Josie has just walked into my room as I said that. I should have given the poor girl at least a chance to sit down. My high brain just gets excited sometimes. 

Josie looks at me quizically. Her head tilt is even more exaggerated now and her red eyes squint a little. 

I hope she doesn’t think this is my way of saying, ‘I can’t fuck other people right?’ like it is something I want to do or something that I have thought of a lot. What if she thinks that I already have hooked up with people. Or that she holding me back. Oh god. I hope she doesn’t think that. 

God this weed is getting me paranoid. 

“Because I really want to be.” I pretty much yell at her. The words just spill out of my mouth in a jumble, and I am a little impressed that she can understand what I am saying. 

“I want to be too.” She nods and gives a smile that looks a little crooked. It’s really cute. 

I nod my head but then panic again for some reason. 

“Okay good. That’s means we are then. But I think we were before, right? Like I told you I didn’t want you dating others when Landon asked you. But then I messed up, and then you went on the date. So I guess we weren’t exclusive then. But I guess we really weren’t together at that point. Not that I saw someone else. I didn’t have any sex between then. And I am pretty sure you and Landon didn’t either. Well, I hope not. That would be gross. Well, not you having sex, just you having sex with him. That’s gross. And then the whole heterosexual sex thing, which is gross. Well to me it is, I know to you it’s not because you’re Pan. But I guess I am bi, so heterosexual sex isn’t that gross. I am just more into girls. And-” 

Holy fuck. Shut the fuck up. Since when does weed make you ramble. Sure it was a lazy ramble but is your mind working so goddamn slow you didn’t realize you were talking nonsense for like a full minute. 

I can feel my cheeks heating up in embarrassment. I am usually never embarrassed. I am usually calculated, but not with Jojo. She makes me go haywire. 

And now she is looking at me with a raised eyebrow, and then she starts giggling. And I guess it’s kinda funny. So I start laughing too. And sure, maybe a part of me laughing is caused my her contagious laugh. It’s just so damn adorable. 

Once we finally stop laughing she looks up at me, “You’re really cute when you are high.”   
I do my best to look like a kicked puppy, “Only when I am high?” 

She lets out a small laugh before walking towards me and planting a soft kiss on my lips. It’s so quick I don’t have time to reciprocate, but I am worried that if I do it will turn out to a makeout session and that that whole ‘Penelope please fuck me’ thing will happen again and I don’t know if I have any power left to say no. That last time really drained me. 

So instead of kissing her, I look back at her affectionately. “You are cute all the time too.” She reassures me. 

Well kinda reassures me. Jojo is the cute one. I wouldn’t describe myself as cute. 

“Well Jojo, actually I think I am more hot than anything. Not cute. That is reserved for you.” I give myself props for that one. Not a great pickup line, but a good one if you are high. There are lower standards okay? I am not as smooth. 

“Can’t you be both? Because you are both.” She chooses to ignore my compliment. 

Banter. Good. I like this. 

“Miss Saltzman, did you just call me hot?” I pretend to be scandalized. She’s so fun to tease.

Josie seems to perk up, understanding the little game I had just started. 

“And cute.” She gives me a devilish smirk. I still don’t understand how such an innocent face can pull off a smirk like that. 

“Oh. Now you went too far.” I stomp over to her. She squeals and attempts to run away from me. Both of our movements are slow. Running and being high doesn’t really mix. 

I finally reach her by grabbing her hips, and another gleeful squeal leaves her mouth. She sounds like a child. I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder. 

It’s really not as difficult as it sounds. Jojo is very lean and thin, so she doesn’t weigh much. She is for sure taller than me, but I would like to think I am stronger than her. I do train with Hope on rare occasions. And honestly, the fireman carry isn’t hard. 

I parade around the room with Jojo on my shoulder, being sure to not look at my full-length mirror, worrying that the angle will give me a perfect view up her dress. Not happening. 

“Who’s cute now? Surely, a big burly woman who has someone thrown over their shoulder isn’t cute.” I say in a low voice, trying to sound more masculine. 

That earns laughs out of Josie, and at one point I am so worried she is going to laugh herself off my shoulder, I, unfortunately, put her down. It is stupid and depressing that I miss the feel of her body close to mine. 

Once she is secured on the ground, she looks at me with a face full of so much seriousness that it instantly brings stress to me. Before I can ask her what is wrong, she cuts me off, “What music do you listen to?” 

I am taken aback by her question, so I stand there and open and close my mouth like a fish. Why does she want to know and why did she ask it like that. 

“Ummm, I listen to a lot of stuff but mostly Motown.” My voice sounds uneasy. Why did she have to ask it so intensely? “What about you?”

Josie intensity lowers a bit, but it’s still a lot. Especially when I am high, the intensity of others throws me off a bit. 

“Old music. Just what my parents listen to.” She says with such little interest before her eyes brighten again when she asks, “Can you play me some of your music?”

I find that there is something intimate about showing someone the music you like. Especially because I don’t share my music taste with a lot of people. Everyone just listens to pop or rap and don’t care enough to listen to the stuff I do. 

“Yeah. What do you want to listen to?” I ask as I head towards my phone, grabbing it and scrolling through my Mo-town playlist. Honestly, I know it like the back of my hand. I listen to it way too much. You think I would get bored but no. 

She looks in a daze when she answers, “Whatever's your favourite.” 

I nod and go to find some Smokey Robinson songs. He’s my favourite. Great singer, and an even better songwriter. He wrote a ton of stuff for other artists and the record label didn’t let him sing for a while, which is bullshit. He always was such a sweet man and he has these really light blue eyes that give a unique contrast with his darker skin. 

I press Track Of My Tears, which I guess is my favourite right now. It always switches up. 

The song starts to play, and Josie is the first to break the silence. Well not silence, because the song is playing. 

“I wouldn’t have guessed you liked this music.” 

A lot of people don’t. But my older brother really liked it, and he kinda passed it down to me. But I don’t want to get into all of that, especially with Josie right now. 

“I am surprising. Along with hot and apparently cute.” I give her a toothy smile. 

“For sure cute.” She teases again. 

I once again move to her, “Did you not learn anything from last time?” I scold her and I reach to pick her up again. I am starting to think she is doing this on purpose and wants to be picked up. 

Instead of carrying her like last time, I grab the back of her knees and cradle her back, picking her up bridal style. I will get to see more of her this way. 

She giggles lightly like a schoolgirl as I twirl her around. She nuzzles into my chest and honestly just like the grinch, my heart grows two more sizes. It feels warm and fuzzy and I hate how much I love it. 

I start swaying her around slowly. Almost like I am slow dancing with her. Lucky she isn’t heavy and I am resting her more on my hip anyway, which allows me to not get tired. 

It takes me a while to realize that I am humming the song, it’s just so good, it’s hard not to. Honestly, the song reminds me of when I and Jo took our break thingy. I know I wasn’t really good at hiding my hurt, but it kinda felt like that. Metaphorically I really did not hide the tracks of my tears. Josie on the other hand did a better job. Well, assuming she was affected just as much as I was. 

I don’t mention my connection to the song because I don’t want to bring that time up. I don’t want her to feel guilty, because she really has nothing to feel guilty about, but knowing Jojo, she would feel bad. 

She seems to understand or connect to anyways because she buries herself further into my chest. The next song that comes on is Tears of A Clown, again by Smokey. 

Josie waits for the chorus to play two times before she looks up at me, “This dude was really obsessed with tears.” 

I give her a chuckle in response, “You like it though?” I feel like I have asked her that questions so many times tonight. I am just unsure of stuff, and I want her to like everything I do. 

“Yeah, I actually do. They are both sad songs though.” She pouts and I wish we were in a better position so I could kiss it away. 

“Sad songs are always the best though.” You could fight me for days on this. Sad songs always have the most emotion in it, and the lyrics are way more meaningful. 

She just hums in response and falls back in my chest. 

I said I was strong but I am no hulk. Or Hope. So eventually my arms do get tired. I walk over the bed and gently lay her on it. 

She looks over at my expectantly, but I lean away. Kissing Josie when she is lying down is too tempting. 

“You are going to need some PJ’s,” I explain as I head towards my dresser. 

I almost want to give her just tiny shorts and a sports bra. She would look so god damn hot with her long legs. Those legs will be the death of me, I swear. But again, it would be much too tempting. I paw through my clothes trying to find what would suit her best. I finally pull out a big shirt that goes to my mid-thigh and little sleep shorts. Okay. I couldn't help myself. 

Before tossing them and Josie, I grab a pair of boxers and a tank top for myself. I totally went for the boxers because if Jojo and I cuddle, which we for sure will, I want to feel the most skin to skin contact as possible. 

It’s not surprising that the clothes I throw at Josie just hit her face. Too high to have lightning-like reactions. Plus, I am used to throwing stuff and Hope and MG who always can catch it. 

Josie pulls the clothes in front of her face, getting a better look. “A Darth Vader shirt? I didn’t take you for a nerd.” She squints back at me. 

“Like you aren’t crazy for Harry Potter.” I roll my eyes. Sure, she hasn’t specifically said anything to me about liking it but it’s obvious. She wore some Harry Potter stuff for two Halloweens in a row. Her robe was yellow, which meant she was a Hufflepuff. After reading the description on google, I had to agree. 

“Okay, well it’s the best movie series ever so…” 

“Lies. Star Wars is iconic.” I defend. Mind you I have never seen a Harry Potter movie but I already know it can’t top Star Wars. It’s kinda like Jo is the Harry Potter movies, and I am Star Wars movies. She can’t top me. 

“Never seen it.” She shrugs off like it isn’t shocking or wild she hasn’t seen it. Everyone has seen Star Wars. 

“Have you been living under a rock?” I gasp, and she chuckles at my dramatics.   
“Well have you seen Harry Potter?” She questions. 

Checkmate. 

I stay silent for too long and she giggles at my lack of an answer. “You have to watch it.” She begs. 

I am quick to respond, “Only if you watch Star Wars.” 

She seems content with this, nodding her head, “Okay. It’s a date.” 

Date. Another one. Good. She wants more than a first date. I hope she wants the endless amount of dates that I do.

“I am down. But Star Wars first.” I will win this fight. Trust me. 

Josie doesn’t respond and when I am about to question why I see her lower one of the straps of her dress. 

Although I really really want to see her undress, I know it’s not wise. So I turn my head around, facing the wall. 

“Really Pen?” She questions with exhaustion. Does she really not know what she does to me?

I don’t feel like explaining myself, because I know telling her that if I see her undress, I just might jump her, which will probably cause that scene to end up happening anyway. So instead, I just grumble some nonsense and take my clothes with me to the bathroom. I don’t trust Josie either to watch me undress so I choose to be prudish changing in the bathroom. 

I make sure to take longer than I need, just in case Jojo is slower at changing. I don’t want to walk in on her half-dressed. That would ruin the whole purpose of me changing away from her. 

I peek my head through the door to find Josie thankfully clothes in a Star Wars T-shirt that of course is shorter on her, so almost her full legs are displayed. I want to slap myself for not having enough smarts and foresight to think that Jo is taller than me, so of course, the shirt will ride up more. 

Oh, and I bet she isn’t wearing a bra under that shirt. 

Stop. I am the only one keeping this boat afloat. 

Josie gives me a tired smile. I mean the weed we smoked was Indicas so I am not shocked she is getting tired. 

“Ready for bed Jojo?” I say with a yawn. I guess I am tired too. 

She nods, looking too sleepy to respond with words. I crawl on the bed, pulling back my sheet and patting to spot next to me, motioning her to join. 

She slinks herself next to me and I know that I said I wasn’t going to initiate contact but I have been good so far so this is a treat. I don’t even give her a second to settle before I pull her towards me. She tangles her legs with mine and I hum with appreciation. 

I love cuddling with her, but I am for sure being my cuddly high right now, so everything just feels more comforting and warmer. 

She rests her head on my chest and I run my hands through her soft hair. I wonder what conditioner she uses. Would it be weird to ask? Would it be even weirder to smell it? Probably. 

It doesn’t stop me from taking a deep inhale from my nose, really engulfing her calming scent. I can feel my eyes droop, but I want to say one thing before I fall asleep. 

“I really like you, Jojo.” The small pause after those words leaves my mouth are nerve-wracking. I for sure said stuff too soon. Maybe I should have just said like. Maybe the word really was too much. 

She breaks my small panic attack, “I really like you too.” 

And with that, I plant a long kiss on her forehead before drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Please please tell me what you thought. I really depend on your comments. 
> 
> I for sure will be using some suggestions in the near future ;)


	21. Weird Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the date fluff. And a little set up for a party!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a whole chapter that was almost 7k words so I cut it into two. Next part coming soon!

I wake up feeling the most content I ever have. It feels as if the universe has decided to give me a break. It seems like the turning point in my life. My future which once was uncertain and honestly likely to be hollow and depressing is now hopeful. It feels good to be excited about your future. 

Hell, it feels good to be excited about today, and tomorrow and the day after that. 

Why do I feel like this?

Well, I get to wake up next to Jojo. 

Next to her might be an under exaggeration because currently, we are clinging onto each other like koalas. She has one leg around my hips, with her face tucked into the crook of my neck. Both my arms are tightly wrapped around her. 

This was like, extreme cuddling. I should see if Redbull would sponsor us. 

She feels so tiny in my arms. They easily wrap around her slim waist. She is very petite and all it does is remind me how cute she is, and how much I want to protect her. 

Not that I don’t think she can protect herself. I have seen her fight monsters and play football,so I know that she can handle herself. It’s just that now it feels like I am made to protect her. Call it possessiveness or whatever. But I honestly don’t think it’s that. Even though I do get jealous at times, I don’t let it control me. I would never be the person that would ban Josie from hanging out with someone because I was jealous. Yeah, that’s not healthy. 

Josie sturs beside me, letting out a puff of hot hair against my neck. She presses even closer to me if that is possible, she is squished up against my side. 

I wait for a moment, thinking she is going to wake up. She settles, and her breathing goes back to long breaths against my neck. She for sure is asleep. 

Should I go make her breakfast or something? Would that be too clingy? Like I feel that would be weird. She might think it’s too much. This isn’t some horrible Rom-Com, and big romantic gestures aren’t a thing of reality. 

I can picture it now. Trying to loosen myself from Jojo’s grip, waking her up and attempting to explain my lame excuse of a romantic gesture. Yeah, that’s not happening. 

Do people care about that stuff though? Showing how much you care about them through things like this? I am new at this okay?

Do I need to surprise her to show her how much I care? Can me kissing her, and giving her caring looks be enough? 

What if it isn’t enough? What if she wants these things. Some hopeless romantic person that will cover her bed in rose petals or play music from a boombox out her window. You know, that sappy shit? That’s not me. That is something that Landon would do or something. 

Maybe that’s why I thought they would be such a great fit. He would treat her like the princess she is. 

I can do that. Just maybe I can figure out different ways to show my affections. Like with little gestures. Holding her hand when she is nervous, kissing her cheek when she is being cute. Making her laugh when I know she is having a bad day, even if it means making a complete fool of myself. 

Would that be enough? 

Am I enough? 

These thoughts are broken when Jojo stirs again beside me, but this time she wakes up. 

She stretches like a cat, letting out a cute little groan with her eyes squeezed shut. 

How is it fair for someone to look that fucking adorable in the morning. 

Before she even has a chance to open her eyes, I can’t help myself so I place a kiss on her forehead. Her grumpy little face softens at my gesture and at this point, it would just be rude if I didn’t kiss her forehead again. 

And then, she lets out a content hum, and I think I would be sent to the pits of Malivore if I didn’t pepper kisses all over her face. So of course, knowing that would be a literal hell, I have no other choice but to do it until Josie breaks out into a fit of giggles. 

“Stop,” She manages between laughs.

I am stubborn and enjoying this way too much to stop, “But. You. Are. So. Cute.” I accentuate every would with a kiss somewhere on her face. 

She lazily and weakly pushes on my shoulders, hoping I will light up. When she sees that she is unsuccessful she uses my weakness against me. 

She kisses me so goddamn softly I feel like I am dreaming. And of course, it causes me to freeze and get lost. What was I doing again?  
I feel like I don’t remember my own name. All I remember is I am really fucking happy right now. 

I can’t help the smile the creeps across my face. 

“Morning angel,” I say for some fucking reason. Why the hell did I just call her that? Like what is wrong with my brain. 

To cover my blush and my shame, I roll further onto Josie and bury my face in her neck. I just really don’t want her to see how embarrassed I am currently. 

To be fair though, Josie is legit an angel. She is so kind and gentle to everyone, and her features are so soft. She brightens up every room she is in. You can’t tell me that description doesn’t fit an angel. 

And just like the angel she is, she soothes me by rubbing my back and whispering a soft response, “Morning beautiful.” 

I place a soft kiss on her neck as a thank you. Mostly thanking her for not making fun of me for calling her an angel. 

We stay in that position for a while. It really is comforting being held by her. I feel cared for, and honestly, it’s a feeling that’s a little foreign to me. While let’s just say it’s been a while. 

I can’t tell if I have fallen asleep while on top of Josie or not. I just feel so relaxed that I may have lost the concept of time. Even though I would love to spend the whole day like this, I know we should do other stuff. I don’t want her to get bored. Plus, just because I like this doesn’t mean she does. 

I grumble in disappointment as I dislodge myself from her, propping myself on my elbows. 

She leans up and kisses me, and unlike last time, it’s not as soft. I can tell it has an underlying tone of more to it, but I don’t want to push her. I think we would talk about the rule and the whole ‘please fuck me,’ situation from last night. I just want to make sure. 

But, I am going to bring up the topic? Fuck no. 

How would I even bring it up? How can you casually ask someone if in the near future they would like the fuck? Maybe while I am at it, we can even schedule our sex. 

So instead of talking, I pull back from the kiss, not letting it get too deep that I drown. 

I attempt to read her face, but I can’t. All I know is she is thinking, like really thinking. I swear I can see the cogs turning in her head.  
There is a beat of silence, before she groans, pushing me lightly on the shoulders, indicating that she wants me off of her. 

This time, sensing a different tone, I instantly move off of her. 

“I should probably go see Lizzie for a bit and get a new change of clothes.” She groans, rubbing at her eyes. 

I am about to offer my own clothes, but maybe this is an out for her. Maybe she needs a bit of a break from the date, which is totally fine. I have to keep remember that just because I am enjoying something doesn’t mean she is. I have to listen to her feelings over mine. This is what being with someone means. They come first. 

There is a joke in there somewhere, I just know it. 

So instead of asking if she wants my clothes, with the fear of being too clingy, I just lazily nod my head, “How long will you be?” 

Okay, that’s still clingy. Idiot. 

She fixes herself in my mirror, straightening out her ‘I just woke up hair’, which looks unfairly cute on her. “Not long. Maybe 20 minutes. Tops 40 minutes because I might shower.” 

My mouth actually opens to ask if I could join her, but my brain finally catches up and shut my mouth. 

“Okay, I’ll probably just call Hope.” 

Why all of a sudden does she want to leave? Is it something I said? It could be because I’m being too clingy. Or the whole angel thing. That was really lame. Or maybe shes upset that I cut off the kiss short. 

Why are girls so confusing?

My fears subside slightly when she places a kiss on the corner of my mouth as a goodbye. And with that, she shuts the door behind her. My insides feel a lot colder and emptier. 

Not wanting to bask in my desperation for Josie, and quickly pull out my phone and call Hope. She answers on the second ring with a high pitched voice, “Penelope? Is everything okay?”

She sounds out of breath. Probably training. Or she just finished wolfing out. This girl is always doing some sort of fitness. Her love for that shit is something that I will never understand. 

“No, I am fine. Josie is just going to see Lizzie for a bit, then she is coming back.” I explain. 

I hear rustling and a door close, “Where are you?” I ask curiously. 

“I just finished training.” She breathes into the phone. 

Makes sense. 

“So why are you calling then?” She asks. 

I shrug my shoulders, “I don’t know. I have like 20 minutes to kill so…” 

There is a pause before she responds, “Want me to come over?”

“No.”

“Ouch. You know it wouldn’t kill you to be polite” She scolds me.

I sigh, “Sorry, I just don’t want you here when Jojo gets back.”

Hope giggles at that, “Why? Do you plan on breaking that no sex rule? Or did you break it last night?” 

I practically can see her shit-eating grin from here. 

“We didn’t break it. She wanted to though but we were both high.” I explain.

Hope takes in a breath, “Okay a lot to process here. Did you get high? On your first date?” 

She sounds scandalized. I don’t know if it’s because she shocked innocent Josie smoked, or because she is shocked by my lack of first date etiquette. 

“Okay, before you get all protective. She asked.” I defend myself. I am not that bad of a stoner that I force my date to smoke. I am classier than that. 

“So let me get this straight. Josie asked you to smoke and have sex with her and you only said yes to one of those requests.” 

Why does she think I am some sort of hormonal stoner. 

“Yes. I didn’t want her to regret it. But dude, it was so hard to say no.” I whine into the phone. Feeling good to talk to someone about my new secret power of self-control.  
“Impressive. I don’t know if I could do it.” 

I scoff. Hope isn’t really much of a sex-crazed teenager. She slept with Landon for god sakes. He is like the least sexual person on the planet. Plus I think Hope hasn’t had sex since. Maybe that’s why she is always training and wolfing out. She just coping with her sexual frustration. 

“Yes, because you and Landon had the best sex ever.” I mock, knowing that this is in fact not true. 

She lets out a deep laugh, “Shut up.” 

“By the way, there is a party tonight. We should all go together.” 

Did I hear that right? Hope Mikaelson inviting me to a party. Has hell frozen over?

Wait, we?

“Who is ‘we’?” I ask in wonder. 

She pausing for a moment, probably figuring it out, “Me, You, Jo, MG and Lizzie.” 

I groan at the last name. God, now I have to be civil to Lizzie now that I am with Josie. This is going to be really fucking hard. Especially because alcohol is involved. Somehow Lizzie gets 10 times more annoying when she is drunk. 

“I’ll ask Jojo, but I will only go on one condition.” I pause, wanting to be dramatic. 

“Which is?” 

“Josie doesn’t have to take care of Lizzie when she gets too drunk. You or MG are on Lizzie duty.”

“Deal.” 

Well, that was quick. Also, shouldn’t Hope ask MG first? I guess she just knows he’s too nice to say no. Plus, he used to have a thing for Lizzie not long ago. For some reason. 

We chat about nonsense for the rest of the call, and she asks details about the date. She did help set it up after all. I owe her for that one for sure. 

I don’t go into tons of detail, still wanting to keep it something between Jojo and me. I do tell her about the whole cheque fiasco and just like Josie, she breaks out in laughter.  
There is a gentle knock on the door, and I instantly know it’s Josie, even her knock is sweet. 

“Josie back Hope. I gotta go.” I hang up without allowing her to respond. I can’t keep her waiting. 

I open the door for her, and it doesn’t cease to amaze me that even with how often I see her, her beauty always shocks me. My breath usually hitches and I hope to God she doesn’t hear it. Thank god she doesn’t have super hearing. 

Her smile is a little forced. The atmosphere is a little uncomfortable. There is a tension and it’s one that I don’t like. 

I understand that my silence is not helping the situation. I set a goal in my mind to break this tension. This feeling. 

“Well, come in.” My joke falls rather flat, and when she steps in the room, I wait for a second to shake my head at my stupidity. This might be harder than I thought. 

Listen. I don’t get awkward. I don’t get nervous. Those are feelings that people feel around me. So I am for sure a bit out of my element. I feel like Hope for God’s sake. All angsty and socially awkward. 

How do you even break this tension? Make a joke? Do I bring up the weirdness so we can move past it or ignore it until it goes away? 

Josie really changes me. 

She stands awkwardly in my room, shifting from foot to foot. I wait a moment for her to talk, but when she doesn’t the silence becomes too much to bear. 

“So did Lizzie tell you about the party tonight?” 

Josie seems to be relieved that this topic can steer away from the silence. 

“Yeah, she pretty much is forcing me to go.” She grumbles.

I furrow my eyebrows. Josie really gets pushed around by Lizzie. It’s frustrating to see, and a little disappointing that Jojo can’t stand up for herself. I am not saying she is weak by any means. I have seen her stand up for herself on countless occasions, just never when it comes to Lizzie. 

Hell, she even stood up to me. 

Obviously it is to the way early in our relationship to talk to her about these things. Tell her that the relationship she has with her twin is somewhat toxic. That she doesn’t deserve to be in Lizzie’s shadow. 

Doing my best to maintain my cool and not go on a long rant about Lizzie, I am able to keep it short, “Do you want to go?” 

She is so selfless, she has to think about what she wants. Not about what others want. 

“Will you go?” Her voice is quiet. Unsure. 

I nod my head, remembering my deal with Hope. “If you want to. Hope told me she wants us to all go together.” 

Josie bobs her head, seeming to know this plan already. 

When she doesn’t give me a vocal response I ask again, “Would you like to go with me?”

Josie gives a sweet smile at that, and I don’t miss the way her eyes brighten slightly. 

She gives me the cutest nod with the shyest smile. I want to run over to her and kiss her and maybe pinch her chubby cheeks, but this tension still hasn’t left and I feel like it wouldn’t be appropriate. 

“Yeah?” I ask breathlessly. 

“Yes.” 

Now I feel shy and my throat feels dry. I must look like an idiot right now. 

I scratch the back of my neck, not making eye contact with her. Nerves are not a fun thing. 

“Where is the pre-drink?” She asks. 

Well, Hope never told me. You know what, maybe I will add another part to our deal. Plus Hope has the biggest room and her aunts bought her a tv. 

“Hope’s room.” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josie stays in my room for a few more hours, and we even go down to the kitchen to grab some lunch. And then go down a bit later for some light dinner.  
I always love spending time with her, but something is off. 

We both are slightly uncomfortable and it seems that our conversations are a bit forced. Each word that leaves my mouth feels practiced and unnatural because maybe it is. 

When we lie in my bed to watch Netflix, we aren’t as close as we usually are. Actually I am kinda surprised that we didn’t kiss once. Our usual need to touch each other doesn’t seem to be there. 

Well, actually it’s there. I am just resisting myself. She probably regrets last night, and still wants to go slow. So of course I am going to respect that and not push. 

We do giggle about being high last night, but we steer clear about her jumping me. That would just make this uncomfortable worse. 

She leaves an hour before the pre to go get ready with Lizzie. And she leaves without a kiss, and I can’t help but pout like a child on my bed for a couple of minutes before texting Hope. 

Pre-Drink at yours tonight. I am coming now to get ready. 

It takes almost no time for Hope to respond, 

What? Since when?

I chuckle as I type out my response, 

Since I said so. I will bring you booze as a thank you. 

Deal. 

As if she ever had a choice in the matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! sorry for the wait! Like I said I already have the other chapter written and I honestly really like the next chapter! The next one will be a lot more plot-based! 
> 
> ALSO! COMMENT YOUR FAVOURITE SCENE FROM THIS FANFIC! LOVE TO SEE WHAT YOU GUYS LIKE THE MOST!


	22. The Mill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of the party! This is more plot-based

When Hope and I are getting ready, I don’t mention the weirdness between Jojo and me. By saying it out loud it makes it more real, and I can’t deny it is making me panic. 

Is this tone always going to be there now? What changed?

Does she regret us?

Maybe she hated the date. I could have done more. Do something more romantic. Or maybe it was too cliche. 

Fuck. 

I decide to wear my leather jacket, fully hoping Josie will like it. As stupid as it is, I hope it gives her a reason to touch me again. 

And I don’t even mean sexual. I just mean those little touches. The brushing of our hands, the sweet kisses, and longing stares. 

Something has changed and I am worried about what that means. 

When Josie and Lizzie show up, it’s at first awkward as hell. Everyone knows Lizzie and I are the farthest things from friends. Any words that we share are harsh and snippy. I know for Josie I have to be civil but in my mind, the best thing is to not talk to her at all. 

Honestly, this is an odd group. I know that Hope got closer to the twins, but when you add me to the mix it’s weird. I want to talk to Josie but shes attached at Lizzie’s hip, leaving me with Hope who looks like she is pained from my presence. 

I just think she feels it’s her duty to break this awkwardness, and as I said before, Hope is the poster child of having little to no social smarts. That’s why she dated Landon and is only friends with MG and me. 

Once we start drinking, the uncomfortableness settles, and when MG finally gets here, it instantly vanishes. I don’t think I have loved him as much as I do now. 

His friendliness and playfulness bring on light conversations and little debates about some comics or something. It’s no surprise that Hope is in the middle of the conversation, staying neck and neck with MG as they talk about some pointless superhero. She did date bird boy, the ultimate nerd, so it does make sense. 

Lizzie is present in the conversation, adding some snarky comments here and there, but she seems more content just watching the two passionately talk. 

Jo on the other hand seems distracted. She quieter than usual and it worries me slightly. Her mood has seemed to continue and perhaps worsen. 

Maybe she is mad because I haven’t really talked to her yet? 

Should I?

Before I can even decide what to do, my feet are carrying me to sit next to her on the bed. I blame the brazenness on the 5 coolers I have downed.  
I nudge her shoulder with mine lazily, “Hey Jojo. You look great.” 

She really does. She is wearing a skirt of course, which is really going to put my self-control to the limit. It’s criminally short, showing off her tan thighs, which are just begging for me to mark up. 

And she is wearing this cute tank top that shows off her perfect shoulders her protruding collar bones. She looks so small and petite that I often forget she is taller than me. But one look at those legs that go on forever and I am reminded of the height difference. 

Oh. Yeah. It’s not appropriate to eye fuck people when they are right next to you. 

When I snap my eyes back up to her face, she is blushing and looks a bit flustered. She can’t look me in the eyes though. 

“Sorry.” I breathe, feeling embarrassed being so open. 

She just nods and starts peeling the label of her drink. She gets a little piece off before turning to me, her face looking less red. 

“You look really nice too. I like this leather jacket.” She says, running her hand lighting over my arm, feeling the material. 

I jokingly tense my bicep, “Yes, I have been working out. Thanks for asking.” I tease with a lazy grin on my face. 

She lets out her signature giggle, snapping me lightly on the arm, “Jojo, if you want to feel it again you just have to ask.” I wink.

Her smile is contagious as she whines, “Shut up. You are the wost.” 

“I know.” 

It takes me a bit to realize that the weird feeling between us has dissipated significantly, and I feel comfortable once again. I just hope she feels the change as well. 

Not being able to help myself, and honestly being too excited that this weird patch seemed to have passed, I lean over and kiss her cheek. 

Yes. I am a softie I know. 

After that Josie and I fall into our normal conversation, mostly me making fun of the nerds talking. Trying to assume what the next debate is going to be.  
Leaning into Josie, I whisper to her, “Okay watch. Next, they are going to fight about which superhero would be better in bed.” 

Josie almost spits out her drink at that, holding her hand over her mouth. 

Once she settles down she responds, “Obviously the Flash.” 

I turn to her, looking offended, “Why the Flash.”

She looks at me for a second, putting her drink down on the ground before making the perfect sign with one hand and sticking her finger in the other. It takes me far too long to actually understand what she is doing. I am not dumb or anything but it’s something that I would never expect Josie to do. It’s childish and vulgar, and it couldn’t be a funnier sight. 

“Because you know… Super speed.” She picks up the pace off her fake finger thrusting to further her point. 

I die of laughter at that point, pushing Josie in the shoulder and tears leave my eyes. 

I wheeze, but my laughter is broken by Lizzie, “What the fuck are you two talking about.” 

Josie slowly removes her finger and places her hand on her lap, looking like a kid who just got caught stealing out of the cookie jar. 

I really want to erk Lizzie by saying something to her like, ‘What I am going to do with your sister later.’ but luckily I hold back. I don’t want to make Josie think I have expectations for something tonight, and also I am trying to be on my best behaviour. 

“Nothing,” Josie mumbles in response, pouting at being called out. 

MG shrugs, “Just not in front of the children, he points to Lizzie and Hope. He breaks the tension again. MG is a great middle man between Lizzie and I. I might have to bring him around more often. 

Once we all feel drunk enough, we head to the party. I want to hold Josie’s hand and show her that I am proud to be with her in public. I want to show her to my friends, and I want everyone to know she is mine. 

The whole walk to the mill I try my best to work up the courage. Not really paying attention to the conversation happening around me, more focused on Josie’s hand, and making sure mine doesn’t get sweaty. 

When I see the fairy lights and hear loud music and drunk teenagers, I know my time is limited. 

Fuck it. 

Penelope Park is not a coward. Especially when it comes to something like hand-holding. 

Taking a deep breath and squeezing my eyes shut, I finally decide now is the time. As much as I would like to say I was smooth with it, I was not. It wasn’t a brushing of the backs of our hand, to the linking of our fingers to the finale of a gentle handhold.

No. It was me scaring the shit out of poor Jojo grabbing her hand with no warning and rather hard. 

Hand holding is harder than it looks. 

A squeak leaves her lips at the shock of my sudden movements. I almost want to tug my hand away again, embarrassed of this fuck up. But once Josie realizes she isn’t being attacked, she squeezes my hand back, offering me a warm smile that just melts me.

We walk hand in hand to the party, and both of us don’t miss the shocked expressions and the whispers. 

Yes. The cold-hearted bitch is holding hands with a personified carebear. I get it. It’s weird. I don’t blame them. 

Josie looks uncomfortable under the stares, and I realize it’s because she isn’t used to them. She is used to blending in and hiding behind her sister. I on the other hand am so used to this that it doesn’t bother me at all. 

What bothers me is that it bothers Josie though. 

I take a page out of her book and give her a soft squeeze, hoping that small gesture will calm her as hers did to me. 

It seems to work a little, as she turns her attention towards our friend group instead of the teens gawking at her. 

I pull out drinks from the cooler we brought that I forced Hope to carry. She is a tribrid for god sakes, she would make herself useful. 

MG did try to offer his help, taking the side of being a gentleman and a vampire, which Hope had none of. She even got a little too aggressive about it, but I just blamed it on her wolf and that she is drinking at the same pace as me. 

I bring Jo a cooler, which she takes a big gulp of. 

“Easy tiger.” I tease.

She smiles at me, shaking her head playfully, “You know. I may be a rookie when it comes to smoking, but not when it comes to drinking.” 

I look at her quizically. Josie never seems drunk at the parties I saw her at. She must see my confusion because she does to explain herself, “Family gathering gets pretty rowdy.”

I wish my family was that close to drinking together. It mostly consisted of one of my parent’s gettings too drunk and spilling too much about their feelings and a huge fight usually follows. Not my definition of a fun time. 

“Okay, Veteran. Then by all means.” I gesture for her to chug up. 

She groans, “Are you going to call me veteran all night now.”

“Well, I could use, All-Star, pro, master, expert.” I joke. 

She hums in thought, drumming her finger on her chin, “I like master.”

I roll my eyes at her, “Yeah. I am not calling you master all night.” 

She pouts at that and I debate kissing her lips, but I still don’t know her comfort level with PDA. I must be starring at her lips for too long because Josie subconsciously wets them. 

“Okay Vet, let’s go party then.” I tug her along. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

For an hour we stay with Lizzie, MG and Hope. Mostly sitting by the fire just talking. Of course, I make sure I am the furthest away from Lizzie. I am playing it smart. The less I see her, the smaller the chance of a fight. 

Hope seems more comfortable then she ever has at a party. Her eyes don’t dart around like they usually do, looking for a monster to pop up at any second. 

She actually is drinking a bit, and I know it doesn’t hit her as hard as us regular supernatural but I can tell it took the edge off. She lazily leans into Lizzie who occasionally shrugs her off, making her lean on MG instead, who is kinder to her. Even though MG never pushes her off, she always ends up switching and pressing her shoulder into Lizzie’s. 

Then, just as I expected, one of my followers comes up to me, encouraging me to say hi to the rest of the gang. 

As much as I want to resist, I know that they won’t stop until they have their time with me. I would rather just get it over with. I look over to Josie who is giving me a smile that tells me she is feeling a little drunk too. 

It’s good to see her have a good time and not focus on Lizzie.

Where is Lizzie? 

She and Hope must have gone to get drinks, but I didn’t notice them leave. 

I turn my attention to MG and Josie, “You guys want to go say hi?” I ask, mostly directing the question and Josie. 

She nods her head while MG mumbles something about “Showtime.” as he straightens out his clothes. MG is friends with everyone, so hopefully having him there will make Josie less nervous. An added bonus is that he will help my nerves too. 

We all walk together, following Lucy towards the large group of witches. 

They all are excited to see me, some hugging my while others often a fist bump. 

For a second I go to introduce Josie but I snap my mouth shut. What would I introduce her as, and I don’t even need to introduce her? They know who Josie is. 

A few of my less bitcher friends hug Josie too, talking to her as if they have known her forever. I watch each interaction with skeptical eyes. These girls can be assholes when they want to be. 

Scarlet stands beside me, not acknowledging Josie’s presence at all, but was she to give me a long hug. It was too long. 

We all sit in our usual party spot, making sure we get the most comfortable seats. I make sure Josie can sit next to me, and then sit myself down. Pulling her chair closer to mine when Scarlet scoots her closer to me. 

I am not blind. I know that a few of these girls like me a little more than you should like a friend. Hell, I have even slept with a few of them. Before Josie, I would flirt with them too, so it doesn’t come as a shock to me that some of them are defensive when they see Josie. 

With them, it was always a hookup. I wouldn’t stay the night and I would rarely ever sleep with them again. Now seeing me hold hands and snuggle up to Josie must not feel great for them. 

I pity them slightly. 

I don’t pity Scarlet though because others seem to get the new boundary formed, just giving glances every so often and steering clear of Josie. 

Scarlet on the other hand is talking to me as if Josie isn’t there. Completely cutting her out of the conversation and it’s starting to frustrate me. 

“I love this leather jacket Penny.” Scarlet drawls as she pulls lightly on the material.

I just clear my throat and slightly shift away in my seat. I shift closer to Josie. 

Josie gets up at that, and I send her a pleading look. It’s a bit of a help me look, mixed with a I am sorry, it’s not my fault. 

“I am going to get a drink.” Before I can offer to go with her, she turns to MG who is standing behind us, not giving the privilege of a chair because he is a boy and a vamp. 

“MG, wanna come?” 

MG looks over at me, unsure what to do.

Well, what the fuck I am supposed to do? Force me in the situation and go with Josie when she doesn’t want me to?

I make sure as soon as Josie leaves to start a conversation with Lucy, who is 100% straight and 100% not interested in me. She is my favourite out of the group, but that still doesn’t say much. 

I ask her about class and do my best to keep conversation anyway from Josie or anything that can turn into flirty or bitchy comments that will piss me off. 

When just MG returns holding a drink I look behind him worriedly, “Where Jojo?” I blurt, not caring about the scoff the Scarlet lets out beside me. 

“She saw Kaleb and went to talk to him. She says she won’t be long.” And with that he sits right in Josie spot.  
I push on his shoulders, “No way man.” I lazily try to tug him up. 

He squirms a bit under my gaze, “My legs hurt.” He pouts, rubbing his leg in mock pain. 

“But you’re a vampire,” I essentially growl at him. 

I know he is just trying to get closer to the girls, thinking that it will up his chance with them. 

Just as I am about to whisper a spell that will not so nicely take him out of the seat, Josie shows up. 

“He is trying to take your seat. I told him to move.” I defend. Making sure that she knows I want her right by me all the time. 

Josie just shrugs, “It’s okay.” Just when I am about to say it’s not, Josie interrupts, “I’ll just sit on your lap.” 

My eyes widen at that, and I am so close to choking on my own saliva but cover it up by taking a quick sip of my drink. 

I do my best to look unbothered, but I can tell I am doing a poor job because Lucy wiggles her eyebrows at me. 

I pat my lap. Too worried that my voice will come out squeaky if I talk. 

Josie walks proudly over to me, sitting right down on my lap and I have to stop the groan from leaving my lips.

It just really reminds me of that time in the Uber. Plus she is wearing that short skirt so you can’t blame me that I am close to freaking out. 

I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her farther into me. I press a soft kiss to her exposed shoulder, “Hey there All-Star.”

Josie shivers at that, and I know this will eventually lead down I path that I can’t continue. Why do we always have to get horny when we are intoxicated. I just want one night where Josie comes on to me and we are both sober. 

Tonight is not the night though, so I already promised myself to not let it get far. It can get cute, just not sexy. Which feels like an impossible task when I have a very hot lady on my lap. 

“Hey, Penny.” She mocks, making sure to keep her voice down so Scarlet can’t hear. 

“Don’t call me that,” I grumble to her. 

Josie twists her back to look at me completely, looking upset and a little pissed off by my comment. What did I say wrong?

“Why?” She asks, searching my face. 

“Because I hate when people call me that.” 

She seems content with that answer and she leans back into me. I swear I hear her whisper a small “Good.” But I choose not to comment on it. 

We stay there long enough until I know I can leave without all of them making a big deal. I honestly want to find Hope and Lizzie. I kinda feel bad for ditching them. They probably don’t know where we are. 

I check my phone to see if I got a text from Hope, but there are no notifications. You think she would text me by now asking where I am. Especially because she has to suffer in Lizzie’s company. 

Once we make it out of my group, MG, Josie and I head back to our cooler to get more drinks. Josie finds Kaleb again who looks much too drunk, and she and MG are goofing off and dancing with him. 

She is having fun and I don’t want to stop her, especially the reason being anything Lizzie related. She should be enjoying herself and letting loose. 

I walk up to Josie, grabbing her waist and pulling her into me, “I am going to be right back. I am going to get Hope.” 

She pouts and this time I don’t hesitate to kiss her. After a few drinks in me, I can’t really help it. Plus she is looking so cute. The kiss is a peck though. I will never leave if I start deeply kissing her. 

“Will you dance with me after?” She asks with a twinkle in her eyes. 

“Of course.” I kiss her forehead and slink off. 

I look around the crowed for shittly bleached blonde hair and auburn hair but find none. I head towards to mill, stepping inside but no one seems to be in there. I hear a noise from upstairs, so I go to check. 

Once I get to the last few steps the noises are for sure from people. It almost sounds like moaning. 

God. I better not walking into some couple banging it out at a party. Is finding Hope really worth this?

Once I finally make it to the top, I quickly realize that it in fact is not worth it. 

I find Hope sitting against the wall with her legs stretched out, with a shirtless Lizzie straddling her hips, grinding urgently as Hope sucks on her neck. 

I wish I was blind. And deaf because I can hear them too. 

“What the fuck is this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS! I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS CHAPTER


	23. Sex Shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope and Pen have a heart to heart. And shout out to BD Peej for an idea I used! I truly do use your suggestions and love to hear them!

Maybe I should have closed my eyes before shouting, but hindsight is 20 20. 

My shout of shock, disgust and confusion causes Hope to practically throw Lizzie off her lap, who may I remind you, is not wearing a shirt. Or a bra. 

So, I am scarred with the image of a shirtless Lizzie. I think I could have gone my whole life without seeing Lizzie’s boobs. Sure I am gay, but I am not that gay. 

My body seems to finally catch up to my mind as I turn around, covering my eyes. 

I am no prude, and I have seen a ton of girls naked. I have no problem with seeing people naked, but this. This is too much. Too icky. 

I hear scrambling and curses. 

“Okay. Actually guys. What the fuck.” I squeal. My voice sounding uncharacteristically high. 

I still refuse to turn around. There is no way I am taking the chance of seeing Lizzie shirtless again. 

At least Hope is fully-clothed, but I have seen her naked countless times anyways. It’s not what you think. It’s just changing in front of each other. 

Lizzie groans, “Calm down Satan. It wasn’t like you walked in on us having sex.” She sounds casual. As if what I walked into won’t haunt my dreams. 

“You looked seconds away from it,” I grumble, still very angry I had to see whatever the fuck this is. 

I thought Lizzie hated Hope. Like I get it, they have been getting closer but I thought it was more, lets be civil to each other because we both care about Josie. 

Also, how that fuck does that even come about. They are like the most unlikely people to get together. Polar opposites really. Then again, Jojo and I aren’t very similar. 

How fucking drunk are both of them if they are seconds away from fucking each other. This does not seem like a sober thing either would do. I thought Lizzie was straight. This girl doesn’t stop talking about boys. She is the definition of boy-crazy. I just didn’t know she could be girl-crazy too. Or maybe just Hope-crazy. 

Lizzie scoffs, “Don’t be mad because you aren’t getting any.” 

Did Hope tell her? What the fuck. That’s breaking some sort of code.  
Without thinking I whip around, and thankfully Lizzie is fully dressed, standing with her hand on her hip looking beyond irritated. Hope on the other hand is cowering in the corner, still sitting on the floor. She looks a mixture of disappointed, horrified and a little bit flustered. 

I look at Hope accusingly, narrowing my eyes at her. Lizzie rolls her eyes at my response, “Calm down Lucifer. Don’t send her to hell. She didn’t tell me. Josie did.”

I open and close my mouth. Not really knowing what to say. I guess Jo and Lizzie tell each other everything. I should just expect whatever happens should get relayed, but why would Josie talk to her sister about her sex life. Or currently, lack of sex life. Did she just tell Lizzie about the rule, or about me denying a horny Josie?

I am just really confused. 

Lizzie must sense my confusion because she further explains herself, “This morning Jo came back to the room all panicked. She was so embarrassed she jumped you and thought that you didn’t want to sleep with her.” 

I go to interrupt her, telling her of course I want to sleep with Josie. I always do. 

“And I told her, that someone as sex-crazed as you would 100% want to sleep with her. And that she was being stupid and should just jump you again because you would be easy.”

Okay. This is starting to sound insulting. 

But is that why Jojo was acting so weird. She must have freaked out after I pulled away from the kiss. Does she really think I don’t want her like that? And why is she embarrassed? Her begging me to fuck her was the hottest thing I have ever witnessed. 

I feel relieved that I know the source of the awkward tension. Especially because it’s something so little and honestly stupid. She is insane if she thinks I don’t want her like that. 

Lizzie continues her rant, “And for some reason, she wants to sleep with you. And usually, I would be against her doing anything with the she-devil, but I can’t deal with her being sexually frustrated again. That was actual hell, and I was actually starting to root for you guys to start hooking up again. That’s how bad it got.” 

Okay. Lizzie really is a different breed. She really doesn’t have a filter. I just think she doesn’t care enough to use one. 

Also. How do I respond to that? 

I am just glad Josie wants me and is ready to take that step in our relationship. I don’t think I could last much longer actually. Of course, I would never force her into anything. And of course, I wouldn’t get bored with her just because I wasn’t having sex with her. I could never get bored of her. She could tell me that we would never have sex again and I still would be just as devoted to her as I am now. 

Lizzie runs her hand through her hair and starts straightening out her outfit. She looks disinterested in this conversation. She can really be infuriating. She always thinks she is above all. Someone should really knock her off her high horse. 

She struts towards me, “You will never hear me say this again, but please sleep with my sister” She pats my shoulder in a patronizing way, causing me to shrug off her hand. 

Okay. So I guess my worst enemy just asked me to sleep with her sister. What is my life?

Lizzie starts heading down the stairs, not even giving a look to Hope. Kinda rude if you ask me. 

Just when she is almost out of sight, she calls after me, “Don’t tell Josie about this,” she gestures to herself and Hope. And with that, in a very Lizzie fashion, she flips her hair and walks down the stairs. 

Well, I guess Josie and Lizzie don’t tell each other everything.

I feel like I have to sit down. There is a lot here to unpack. 

Josie wants to have sex with me, and she was embarrassed by last night, which is why she was acting so weird. 

And the more mind-boggling thing is that I just saved Hope from probably catching an STD from the blonde bitch. 

I turn my attention to Hope who is still sitting holding that exact same expression on her face. 

“Hope, what the fuck was that?” I question her. 

She sighs at my question, dipping her head down. She looks sadder than anything right now. 

“You should thank me. You just about made the biggest mistake of your life.” I explain, waiting for Hope to say that she was drunk and how it is a mistake she won’t make again. 

“Well, I guess if you put it that way, then I have made this mistake multiple times.” She attempts to give me a smirk but it falters back into her frown. 

What the fuck? 

Has she been sleeping with Lizzie? And she hasn’t told me? How could I have missed this?

I feel like your enemy hooking up with your best friend is something that can be easily noticed. I think that Josie may have distracted me enough to not see the obvious. 

“When did this start? How the fuck did this even happen?” I gasp, still rattled by the thought of Lizzie and Hope being fuck buddies. 

Hope’s eyes seem to brighten up as she explains herself, “Well, we flirted the night you threw her into a wall,” I lower my eyes at that. It is not something I am proud of, “And then we starting talking and it kinda happened when you and Jo were fighting.”

Well, that could mean it’s been days or weeks. Hell, it could have been a month. 

“So you guys are just fuck buddies now?” Are they even friends? Or are they just doing the fucking part?

Hope starts playing with her jeans, “I guess,” she groans, burying her head in her hands, “I don’t know.” 

She sounds a bit broken and confused. If she is confused, then I am really fucking lost. 

“What do you mean?” I question as I walk towards her, sitting beside her on the ground. 

She takes a moment to actually respond. She opens her mouth and closes it a few times, looking like she is working up the courage to say something.

She finally speaks in a distressed voice that only really comes out when fighting monsters, “I really like her Pen.”

Shit. God damn it. Has Hope really fallen for Lizzie? The Lizzie Saltzman that I have seen shove her tongue down multiple guys throats in the last month. The Lizzie Saltzman that treats her own sister like her slave? 

How the fuck can someone like Hope fall for someone like her. 

“You’re fucked.” I honestly say to her. And I mean that Lizzie is not someone who would be careful with Hope’s heart. She isn’t kind like Josie. She isn’t gentle like her. She isn’t caring like her. 

Hope looks like she is seconds away from crying, “I know.” She humourlessly laughs. 

We sit in silence for a while. I have comforted Hope before, but it is usually about her parents. Sure, she did talk to me about her breakup with Landon but she wasn’t that emotional. She knew it was for the best. 

But now. This feels different. Not only is Hope’s love life a topic that we don’t talk about much, but especially because it involves Lizzie. It’s hard to be a supportive friend right now when she is actually sleeping with the enemy. 

“Have you told her how you feel?” I softly ask, careful not to push Hope to hard. 

Hope rubs her temples at that, “Well, yes. But she says she isn’t interested in something serious. And I know it’s not smart to me still hook up with her, but a little bit of her is better than none.” 

Fuck. Hope is in deep. And maybe if this happened before the whole Josie thing, I would have laughed at her and just told her to get over it. But now I get it. I get where she is coming from. I know how it feels to have your heart belong to someone else. I know that it’s a scary feeling, but also one that you never want to get rid of. 

It’s a risk, but just like any risk, it gives you adrenaline. It’s such a high that you tell yourself it will be worth the enviable fall. 

I nod along with her, “I know. And if you want to wait around you can. But how long are you willing to wait?” 

Hope is my friend, and I don’t want to see her hurt. But if she really likes Lizzie, I am not going to step in the way of it. If Hope tried to get in the way of Jojo and me, I think it really would have taken a toll on our friendship. 

“I don’t know…” She deflates as she continues, “I just would love her to want me the way I want her.” 

“She might want you that way. Something could just be holding her back.” I reason. 

Hope just shakes her head at that, “I don’t think so. She wouldn’t be fucking other people then.” She grumbles, obviously not pleased with the fact that the girl she has fallen for is sleeping with other people. 

Hope’s mood has turned sour. And as much as I understand why she is feeling this way, she shouldn’t. She was just having a lot of fun with Lizzie and was actually enjoying herself at a party. Hope is a notoriously moody person, so when she is truly happy, I try to keep her at that point. Right now, she is shutting down. I can tell. She has done it before, and usually, it lasts a while. Like weeks and sometimes even months. It becomes very hard to get her out of bed and leave her room. It is a very sad and frightening sight to see honestly. 

I can see her falling down this rabbit hole, and I see it as my responsibility to make sure it doesn’t go that far. 

So, with my lack of knowledge of sharing feelings and emotions, I steer the conversation into one that I am way more comfortable with. 

“Well, I guess you don’t fuck her right then.” I turn to look at Hope, showing her my smirk, making sure she knows I am teasing. 

She gasps at that, looking offended, “I absolutely do a good job.” 

Seeing Hope’s mood light up causes me to continue this, “Let me guess…” I tap my chin, “Lizzie is demanding and controlling in the bedroom.” 

Lizzie is really controlling in every other aspect of her life, so I wouldn’t be shocked. 

Hope looks at me skeptically, worried what I will do with her answer, “I mean, yeah I guess.” 

I raise my eyebrow at that and Hope is quick to defend herself, almost shouting, “But I top her.” 

That is like a given. Hope is an obvious top and Lizzie, well, Lizzie is for sure a power bottom. 

“Okay, so normally I would just tell you to fuck someone else to make her jealous. Show her how it feels. But, since Jojo, I have learned a lot of things. So now, my advice is to top the hell out of her so good that she doesn’t want anyone else.” 

Am I really giving sex advice to Hope about fucking Lizzie? 

Hope tilts her head at my idea, seeming somewhat intrigued. 

“You gotta make use of that tribrid stamina of yours. Make a whole day of it.” I explain. Hope might not be the craziest person in bed, but she should for sure to use her assets to her advantage. 

Hope seems to be in thought. Actually considering this idea. “Like tonight?” She asks. 

An idea pops into my head. Now that Josie is willing to put an end to the no sex rule, it gives me to perfect opportunity to try out something new. Well, it would be new to her, but not to me. 

It is something that I have been dreaming about since, well since I first had the hots for Josie, so that goes back a while. 

Finally. Finally, my fantasies can come true. 

I shake my head at Hope, trying to figure out how to suggest this without freaking her out. “Not tonight. You are both tipsy. Listen. Tomorrow, you and I will go down to a sex shop, and we each buy a strap on. And then you can spend the day showing Lizzie you are better than the tons of dudes she sleeps with.” I explain, trying to make it seem all very casual. 

Hope looks like she choked on her spit at that point. Hope doesn’t talk much about sex with me. She listens to my stories but I never really get stories back from her. 

Hope seems to regain her bearings, blinking a few times staring blankly at me before a disgusted look comes across her. “I am not going to a sex shop with you to buy matching dildos.” She gasps, finding the idea ludicrous. 

I roll my eyes at her maturity on this topic. She really is a child. “Firstly, they don’t have to be matching. Secondly, I am offering you a great opportunity. Knowing you, you will never go down to a sex shop by yourself. And trust me, a strap on is something that is a need.” 

Hope still gives me a pointed look, but I can tell she is thinking about it. Time to convince her. Gotta pull out the big guns and play on her possessive wolf. 

“Listen, Hope. What is the one thing you don’t have that all these other guys she is fucking have?” I see that Hope eyes narrow and her lip presses into a straight line when I bring up Lizzie fucking other guys.

Good. That means that this will probably work. 

“They all have a dick. And last time I checked you didn't so I am offering you just that. A silicon dick. And once she sees that you are so much more than all those other guys, she will stick to just fucking you.” Wow, this sounds like a passionate rant now. I feel like I should run for president. 

Hope looks more determined now, her jaw is clenched and I know I have already won her over. 

“Hope. You know that you deserve the best. And I am for sure not saying Lizzie is the best, because she is far from it. But, I can tell you want her. And you should go after what you want. You deserve that.” 

Wow. Maybe I am pretty drunk because it’s rare I get sentimental. Honestly, I know deep down I am being like this because it reminds me of Jojo. It reminds me of losing her, and the pain I felt. I know what Hope is going through, and I love Hope. She should never go through that. 

“Why are you helping me with this? I thought you would disown me for wanting Lizzie.” She asks with a tilt of her head that reminds me of Josie. 

How long have I been here? I gotta go see Josie soon, I did promise her a dance. 

“Honestly?” I ask. Because sure, I do want to see Hope happy. That for sure is a part of it. But there is also a selfish reason. And I am never someone who hides the truth. I say what I want whenever I want. 

Hope nods her head at my question, wanting to hear my reasoning. 

“Well, obviously I want you to be happy. And if Lizzie can do that for you, then go for it. Life is too short to not go for what you want. But maybe the more selfish reason is that you can take Lizzie's attention off Josie. Lizzie needs a lot of love and time, and Josie never has time for herself. You can give Lizzie what she needs.” 

Maybe I am a little worried that Josie will pick Lizzie over me. That she won’t have enough love to give to me. Right now though, it hasn’t been an issue. Josie is just such a giving person, that I worry she will run out of her to give. She has to take more often. 

Hope takes a moment to respond, “I don’t know if I should thank you or not.” She grumbles, probably insulting that I was bashing her crush. 

“How about you thank me by coming to the sex store.” I pout my lip out, doing my best Josie impression. It always works on me, so maybe it will work on Hope.

Hope rolls her eyes, “Fine.” But the smile breaking from her face tells me she isn’t that mad she is coming along for a little road trip. 

Honestly, it’s me doing her a favour. I would be fine going in by myself. 

With that, she brushes herself off, seeming ready to head back to the party. Without another word we head down the stairs, each step bringing us closer to the pile of drunken supernatural teens. 

Before we make it fully into the crowd, I pull Hope to a stop, “Oh, and by the way, you or Lizzie have to tell Josie soon or I will.” 

Hope looks like she is about to protest, but I don’t let her, “I can’t lie to her. Just get Lizzie to tell her during our dildo road trip.” I attempt to reason with her.  
She just dumbly nods along, probably knowing she has no choice in the matter. 

And with that, we are back on our path as Hope silently follows behind me as I push the crowds aside trying to find Josie. I just really want to see her.

It is pathetic that I miss her already?

I find her in a similar place, with Kaleb and MG but they aren’t dancing anymore. 

I slow my walking and the only thing that gets me to realize my change of pace of Hope who gives me a light shove to continue. You can’t blame me that I get a little distracted by Josie. Especially when the moonlight is lighting up her face perfectly and she is just smiling so brightly. It is really heartwarming seeing her letting go and enjoying herself. 

I eventually make my way up to her, and when she notices me her smile somehow grows even bigger. She is so fucking beautiful.

She pulls me into her space, wrapping her arms around my shoulders, “What took you so long.” 

Her mouth is in her usual pout and her eyebrows are furrowed. I place my hand on her face, using my thumb to soothe her brows, “I was just talking to Hope. Sorry, I guess I lost track of time.” 

She only hums in acknowledgement before she leans in and places a chaste kiss on my lips. 

“Do I still get a dance?” I ask.

Josie nods along, “Of course.” 

She claps her hands together behind my head, leading me to loosely wrap my arms around her waist. God, she is so slim. 

I honestly don’t even care what song is playing. For all I know it’s a shitty upbeat pop song that you should definitely not be slow dancing to, but I don’t give a shit. All I can focus on is Jojo and the warmth I feel all over having her this close. Doing something so intimate publicly.

Our bodies have no rooms between them. Chest to chest, we sway side to side. 

I disconnect one of her hands from my neck. With my hand over hers, I guide to the top of my chest, just above my breast. I put it directly on top of my heart. 

Her deep brown eyes look down at me and then trail to her hand. 

“I am crazy about you.” I breathe. 

The words hang in the air, and get wisped away by the noise of the party. The weight of the words lingers and sets a heavy feeling in my chest but somehow takes a weight off my shoulders. 

Josie’s eyes flicker between my eyes before they focus on my lips. Her lips meet mine in such a fast and almost panicked matter that I slightly stumble back. I tighten my grip on her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. 

Her hand still over my heart clutches at my shirt, fisting it in her hand. I wonder if she can feel my heart beating a mile a minute. She will never cease to speed up my heart. 

I know I am being mushy, but I think after seeing Hope pin over Lizzie, it just made me realize how lucky I am. 

I get to hold Josie. Kiss her. I am hers and I could not be happier. 

I pull away from the kiss after a handful of seconds, remembering that we are in the middle of a party. And I am pretty sure my friends are standing like 6 feet away from us. 

A little worried that I might tear up, I rest my head on her shoulder. It just feels really good to have this connection with someone. 

Now I get all those cheesy love songs. I get all those sappy movies. 

Josie mocks my position, also leaning into me. Our chest rises and fall together, creating our own personal rhythm. 

My whole life I've had my reputation in mind. Things I would say and things I would do were usually all laced around how I wanted others to see me. There are very few people who I feel like I can just show them my genuine self. Of course, Josie has become one of them. She has actually become such a supernova in my life that all my cares and worries about my reputation have vanished. 

For fuck sake, I am slow dancing in the middle of a party. This is something I probably would have laughed at it if I saw it before. It feels like something that Hope and Landon would have done. But nothing else seems to matter. 

I don’t know how long we stay like this. Time seems to take a back seat. Eventually though, I decided to break this state of euphoria. 

As much as I enjoy this, I know communication is something that has to be present in relationships. 

I turn my head, bringing my lips close to her ear, “A little birdy told me that you want to break the sex rule.” 

I smirk as Josie instantly whips her head, putting distance between us. She looks confused and a little betrayed. Probably knowing that her twin had something to do with this. Then embarrassment hits her, and even though it is relatively dark, I can see her cheeks turn slightly pink. 

I do like to tease Josie, so I let her sit in her blush for a few seconds before I speak up, “Jojo, you don’t have to be embarrassed. Not only am I a very willing party, but you know you can talk to me about these things. You shouldn’t hide what you want.” The tone becomes very serious. 

Josie studies my face for a moment before she responds softly, “I know. And I will,” She clarifies, “Talk to you about these things.” 

She pulls her bottom lip in her mouth. I don’t even think she is aware she is doing, but it reminds me of something. 

“Would you want to maybe break the rule tomorrow? You can come to my room and we can hang all day.” 

Josie raises a skeptical eyebrow at that. I slide my hands dangerously low, just on the top of her ass. I pull her closer, “Well, I mean more than just hanging out.” 

Josie just hums in response, looking a little lost. “But Hope and I have to go somewhere for a bit tomorrow.” 

“Where are you going?” She presses further into me. 

I bring my voice down to a hush, “It’s a secret.” 

Josie puffs out her cheeks and lets out an annoyed huff, “Does it involve monsters?” 

“No. I think you will actually like this surprise.” I reassure her. 

Just like a kid on Christmas, her face lights up. Excited at the prospect of getting a nice surprise. 

Man, she has no idea what's going to hit her. 

The rest of the night is somewhat uneventful. I just stay with Kaleb, Josie, Hope and MG, and most of the time is just spent goofing off. Of course, I always have Josie close, my arm possessively wrapped around her waist. It’s more to show to others that I am taken. I don’t need more people flirting with me. 

Lizzie doesn’t come back to the group, but we all spot her making out with Jed in the corner. I see Hope pale at that, and it really makes me question why I am rooting for them. Why would I root for someone who is doing something so hurtful to my best friend? 

I think back to the mistakes I made. I doubt any one of Josie’s friends would have been on my slide after what I did at that party. People make mistakes and act out when they are hurt or confused. I just hope that is why Lizzie is acting like this. 

Once we start heading back to the school, I see Hope linger a bit. Probably waiting to see if Lizzie will go home with Jed or not. It’s a sad sight to see, and I whisper to her that tomorrow Lizzie will forget about Jed. I explain that she can’t even compare herself to the other guys. She’s in a totally different league. 

Everyone slinks off to their respective rooms, but Josie wordless stays with me. We undress but facing the other way. As stupid as it sounds, even though we have seen each other naked countless times, making it seem more like a mystery is exhilarating. It will make tomorrow mean so much more. 

Pretty much, if I don’t faint at all tomorrow, I will chalk that up as a win. 

Once Josie puts on some of my clothes, she instantly settles in my bed. I follow close behind her, spooning her from behind and placing a soft kiss underneath her ear, “Did you have fun tonight?” 

Josie shivers before responding, “Yeah. I did.” 

I pull her closer to me, my hips cradling her butt. She pushes back into me, pressing us even closer. “I am glad you did.” 

And with another soft kiss to her neck, we both fall asleep. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Stop doing that.” Hope whines. 

She really is a child. I can’t take her anywhere. 

I pretend to play dumb, “Doing what?” I casually say as I inspect the strap onwhich I just picked up. Hope scoffs, obviously not buying that I am innocent. 

“Whenever I pick up a dildo you always have to get a bigger one.” She shouts rather loudly, causing the cashier to look up at us. 

Hope instantly goes red and angles herself out of the workers view. Essentially hiding behind me. 

“Yeah, it’s because of this.” I gesture to Hope’s cowardice, “I would totally have a bigger dick than you.” 

Hope actually gasps at that, looking very offended, “You would not!” She shouts once again. She whips her head to the side, looking to see if that cashier is paying attention, which she is not. 

“Hope. Yes I would. I would be packing. You cannot deny it.” I explain as I look at the other selections. 

Hope actually tugs on my shoulder so all of my attention can be drawn to her. She really isn’t going to let this go.

“, you would not. I am a fucking Tribrid. Like that pretty much screams big dick.” She argues, seeming very heated. 

I shake my head at that, “Yeah, no. Being a Tribrid is like having a sports car. Small dick.” I shrug. 

Hope looks one second away from stomping her foot like a child. “, and being the head bitch really screams big dick energy.” I reply sarcastically. 

This argument is starting to get me heated. Hope and I always get lost in fights over dumb stuff. Dumb stuff that I am always right about. 

“It does,” I say matter of factly. 

“No it doesn’t,” She practically growls. Wow, her wolf is really showing. “The quiet ones always are bigger.” She justifies. 

I can’t help but laugh at that one. “Really? Because I am sure Landon was hung like a horse.” 

That seems to break the tension as Hope laughs along with that. But she just has to ruin the moment by speaking up, “Actually Landon was a bit above average and h-”

“Okay! Okay! I don’t want to hear about Landon's dong size.” I groan, covering my ears.  
Landon is the last person I want to hear about sexually. I won’t deny that he is a nice guy and honestly he isn't ugly he just… I don’t know… it’s gross to think about. 

Hope seems to have forgotten about the fight as she sifts through the packages, “what about this one?” She turns to me holding up strap on with a little nub on the inside of the harness for pleasure for the user.

“Looks promising,” I say as I pluck the package out of her hands. The nub can even vibrate. This seems like a win-win. Plus, it’s 7 inches, which is the perfect size. You don’t want something too big because it can actually hurt. And the last thing I want to do is hurt Josie. 

“Let’s get this one.” I take another box. 

“Is there another colour?” Hope whines, looking at the purple dildo.

I give her a questioning look. She explains her question, “I just don’t want to get exactly matching ones. It’s a bit odd.” 

Is it? I guess so. The twins getting fucked by matching strap ons honestly doesn’t quite sit with me. So, I move some boxes aside and find a pink one. I hand it to Hope and her face twists up. 

“Pink?” 

God does she really have to be so picky. It’s just a colour. It really doesn’t matter. Feeling that Hope will continue to be a baby about this, I give her my purple one and grab hers. 

“Better?” I mock, and she just happily nods her head. 

God, she is so stubborn. 

We make it to the cash, and I see the awkwardness fill Hopes face. It for sure isn’t a super fun thing to buy a sex toy in front of a cashier but I thought she would be mature enough to deal with it. 

The women scans both of our items before asking, “Would you like to buy lube with that?” Which of course makes Hope almost choke on her own spit. Knowing that she won’t be able to answer, I speak up. 

“No thanks. I already have some.” I politely smile. 

Hope nudges me with her elbow, “Should I buy some?” She whispers even though the lady can definitely hear us. 

“I have two bottles. Just take one of mine.” 

Hope tilts her head, probably wondering why I already have them. I swear I have told her I have done this before. I always give her details on my sex life. 

“I already have one of these,” I explained pointing to the two boxes of strap ons. 

“Then why do you have to buy another?” She asks like it is the oddest thing in the world to do. 

I don’t even have to think before I answer, “Because I don’t want to use one that has already been used. I want Josie and I to have our own one.” 

Josie is obviously special to me. I don’t want her thinking that she is like every other hook up I have had. She doesn’t deserve some used toys, even though they are thoroughly cleaned. Even though having sex with a strap on isn’t new to me, doing it this way is. I am doing it for someone I care deeply about, and I don’t think it’s crazy that I want this to be different. 

“Awww, how sweet.” She mocks, earning a roll of my eyes. 

The lady puts our items in a bag, and just like that, we are out the door. 

We are halfway through the drive when I feel my phone vibrate. I look and see it’s a text from Josie. 

I open the message and my breath catches my throat. 

It reads: I can’t stop thinking about you, please come back soon. I don’t know how much longer I can wait. 

Hope looks over at me curiously, and I pretty much shout at her, “Drive faster!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE COMMENT. I have had this idea for a while but I don't know if I executed it well. PLEASE TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS!!


	24. Rider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6200 words of pure smut. Sorry for the long wait but I hope this is worth it

You would be shocked by how slow a tribrid drives. I sure as hell was shocked.

Shocked and angry mostly.

My pleas to go faster fell on deaf ears and earned me an eye roll. I don’t think Hope understands the importance of me getting back to the school as soon as possible. And to make matters worse, we seem to hit every red light.

No words other than my nagging are spoken. Well, that’s until Hope awkwardly clears her throat, “Umm, Lizzie told Josie by the way.”

Hope looks somewhat uncomfortable with the situation. Maybe because now more people she knows will find out she is head over heels for someone who doesn’t feel the same way.

I knew what that felt like. It’s shit.

“How did she take it?” I softly ask. Hoping that Josie won’t be too mad at me for not telling her right away. Or that she isn’t too mad at Lizzie or Hope. I can’t deal with more drama.

But now that I think of it, maybe Josie already knew when she texted me. Would she really be that unaffected by the news? I hope so.

“Lizzie said it went fine. I am sure Lizzie just told her it’s some casual thing.” She sighs, disappointed.

I nod along with that, not even attempting to deny her claim because it’s probably true. Although it is unlike Lizzie to play off something or make it seem like a smaller deal than it is, I can see her doing that with this situation. Sure, she might be downplaying it for Josie, but after what Hope has told me, it seems like she is just downplaying the whole thing.

Once we finally get to the school, it’s time to make the game plan. I turn to Hope, making sure she listens to these steps just as she would if we were fights a monster.

“Okay. So we are both going to go back to my room. I will give you my extra bottle of lube and we can unpackage our well... packages. And then we go to our respective rooms and text our respective Saltzman sisters to join us.”

Hope looks a little lost and a little disgusted by our plan. Well, my plan. She added nothing to this. And I will admit, I could have perhaps worded it in a better way. It does seem rather odd.

“You understand?” I bark at Hope.

She rolls her eyes at my intensity of the situation but answers, “yes.”  
I nod my head, telling us to roll out.

We speed walk to my room. Of course, I had the genius idea to cast a spell to hide our bags. I mean the shopping bags didn’t have ‘sex shop’ written on it, but I was too worried one of my nosey friends would look through the bag thinking I just went clothes shopping.

Once we finally reach our room, we both let out a sigh of relief and undid the spell. In silence, we unpackaged our boxes. Maybe because opening strap ons together is a little weird. And I know that if I am a little bothered by it, then Hope is probably one second away from a panic attack.

I open mine a lot quicker than Hope, as she seems to be inspecting every element. I think at one point she even starts reading the instructions. With Hope distracted a pull out my drawers and dig through to find the bottles of lube. One is flavoured, which obviously will be the one I keep.

I might love Hope but surely not enough to give her my good lube.

So, I throw to her my bad one, thinking that her tribrid reflexes will kick in and she will catch it. Oh boy was I wrong. The bottle smacks her right in the face. I guess I found the one weakness of the tribrid.

A strap on.

Hope rubs her head and just grumbles. Looking awfully embarrassed that she can kill multiple monsters at the same time but cannot catch a bottle of lube.

I just let Hope inspect her new toy for a little longer before I attempt to usher her out of the room.

“Okay. You can leave now and text Lizzie.” I give her a light kick, hoping it will move her from her sitting position on the ground.

Her response is just to look up at me with lost eyes. Oh. She is nervous.

I mean I get it. The first time I ever used one I was scared to make a fool of myself. Mess up and maybe even hurt the other girl. It for sure is an odd feeling at first, but it’s a little shocking how used to it you get.

“Hope. Trust me, it’s going to be fine.” I attempt to pull her up, tugging halfheartedly on her arm.

Hope just groans again, “I don’t know.”

God. How can Hope be some brave about risking her own life, but with this, she freaks out?

“Hope. You have supernatural speed, agility and strength. Trust me you will be good. Just relax and do what feels natural.” I reassure her, and she finally stands. I only wait a second for her to cast a cloaking spell on her dildo before I shove her out of my room.

“Oh, and use lots of lube!” I yell out at her, forgetting that other supernaturals are walking through the hallway.

Two students probably only a year younger than me turn with horrified looks on their faces. I give them a sheepish smile and retreat back into my room.

I text Josie that I am back and in my room waiting for her. I barely have to wait until there is a rapid knock on my door.

I actually think it may be Hope coming back for another pep talk because I just sent out that text a minute ago.

I am very pleasantly surprised when I am met with Josie, looking wild and hungry. I am even more pleasantly surprised when she doesn’t even give me a second to welcome her before she attacks my lips.

The surprise causes me to stumble back a few steps, allowing us to fully enter my room. Josie kicks the door clothes, and with the sound of the door slamming it snaps me out of the surprised state I am in.

At first, Jo was dominating the kiss and I was just blindly following. But now, I get the upper hand by slowing the kiss down and by walking her backwards until her back hits the door. The grunt that leaves her lips gives me the opening to slip my tongue in her mouth. Tasting her thoroughly and exploring her mouth.

She desperately tugs at my hips, begging for some contact. Of course, I grant her that, pressing our front close together. We both gasp at that, making me realise how starved we are for each other. It has been a mere couple of days since our last time, but somehow it feels like years.

Every touch of our lips and tongues reminds me of just how much I was missing. How dumb it was of both of us to think we could have actually not done anything with each other for a while.  
I am not built to resist Josie Saltzman.

Even just cupping her jaw as I kiss her almost makes me want to cry in relief. It feels so fucking good.

Josie’s grip on my hips tightens as she urges my hips forward again. Knowing her touches well enough at this point, I know what she is asking for. Slowly and softly, I rock my hips into hers, pulling back slightly before repeating the action.  
She seems very pleased with my motions as she grabs my hips even harder and lets out a little mewl. It just encourages me to pick up the pace, grinding slightly harder into her.

Needing some friction myself, I slip my thigh between hers, now just realizing that she is wearing a skirt. Of course, she is.

The flowiness of the skirt allows me to directly press my thigh against her panty covered core. I can feel the heat radiate from her and I can’t hold back the appreciative groan. Her hips buck at the contact and she breaks to kiss to let out a low moan.

Seeing this as an opportunity to kiss down her neck, I of course do so. God, her skin even tastes so good. I make sure to mark her. It may be possessive, but it’s more me marking her for people to see I am hers. Not the other way around. It might not make sense, but at the moment it does. I want Scarlette and everyone else to back off of me.  
My heart belongs elsewhere.

Josie pants in my ear as I make multiple marks in her neck. My hips are still rocking but I can see that she is getting impatient as her moans turn into needy whines, begging for more. I am cruel so I even slow down my movements, hoping that will encourage Josie to voice what she wants. It takes her almost a minute to realize that I am slowing down, and the only reason why I know this is she urges me with her hands to go faster and harder while letting out a low groan. It almost sounds like a warning but to me, I see it as a step closer to getting what I want.

I just love seeing her so fucking needy and desperate.

She ruts against me, trying to find her own friction. She doesn’t seem to find it, which makes her become even more frustrated. Her hips move with abandon before she comes to a sudden stop, causing me to pull away from my spot on her neck.

I pull back looking at her flushed face, she looks beyond irritated and incredibly horny. She juts out her puffy bottom lip, “Pen, stop teasing.”

She is still panting and I know my breathing matches hers. I lean my body fully into hers, trapping her against the door once again. I brush my lips against her ear, “Tell me what you want, baby.”

I hear her whisper ‘fuck’ underneath her breath and I am so close to asking her to say it again. I love when she swears. It totally contradicts her good girl attitude.

She takes in a sharp breath before shakily speaking, “I need you to touch me. I want you so bad.” She gasps as I push my thigh between hers again mid-sentence.

My hips pick up the pace again, and I sloppily kiss her. It’s wet and sinful. Rewarding Jojo for voicing her wants, I take no time to untuck her blouse from her skirt. I slide my hand underneath, easily finding her heaving breast and giving it an appreciative squeeze. She keens at that, letting our a muted gasp.

I can’t handle not having her how I want her, so I slide my hand out of her shirt, trailing them down to her ass, spending a short amount of time kneading the smooth skin. I dip my hands lower, grabbing the back of her thighs and give them a hinting tug. She instantly jumps up, wrapping her long legs around my waist as I hold her against the door.

Although I pride myself on my strength, I know that the door is doing most of the work. She wraps her fingers through my hair, giving them a hard tug causing me to let out a growl that any werewolf would be proud of. Josie looks back at me smirking, seemingly proud that she may have found one of my kinks. Before I can even comeback teasing her about her very obvious praise kink, she brings me back in with a bruising kiss.

She starts rubbing herself against my stomach, and fuck, I wish we were naked. I wish I could feel her excitement coat my skin.

I can’t do this any longer. I need her. And I need her now.

I stumble over to the bed, finding it difficult to make out with this angel wrapped around me and walk at the same time. Not very gracefully, I throw her on the bed, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

I crawl towards her, making sure my motions are slow, teasing her further. I don’t think she is even aware that the closer I get the further she spreads her legs, giving me a beautiful view. She is wearing pink lacy underwear. I can’t help but lick my lips as my eyes focus in on the dampened material, clingy to her sex so tightly that it is leaving little to the imagination.

Fuck. I can’t waste to taste her on my tongue.

I have essentially fully crawled up to her before I freeze.

Holy fuck. The strap-on.

How could I have forgotten? Well, actually I know how. I had a very desperate and horny Josie attached to me.

She seems to notice my lack of motion. She raises on her elbows and slightly closes her legs. I frown at that.

“What's wrong?” She asks, her eyebrows pinched in concern and confusion.

I feel my eyes light up as I respond, “Your surprise.”

Her face visibility relaxes, her frown replaced with an excited smile. She is so fucking cute. Josie moves to sit now, looking like a child at Christmas. I can’t help but lean in and place a soft kiss on her lips. She really just makes me feel so… warm.

“What is it?” Her eyes light up.

Okay. So how does one bring up that she bought a strap on and now wants to use it. I am sure just picking it up and showing it to her with no explanation is not the right way to do it. God. I can’t imagine how Hope has brought that into the conversation. Actually. I don’t want to image it at all.

I somewhat awkwardly clear my throat, “Actually, we should probably talk before I show you.”

Her eyes fill with worry again, “No, no. It’s not a bad thing Jojo.”

She just nods her head, not looking enticing convinced.

She just stares at me expectantly as I wring my hands together, “So. Ummm, I know you are new with being with girls. So I hope you know it’s totally okay if you don’t want to or if you aren’t ready. I won’t be upset if we never do it at all. I just thought I should ask you. And if there is anything you don’t like about it, I could always go back and buy a new one.”

Oh god. I am rambling. Okay. Now, how the fuck do I transition that to asking if she wants me to fuck her with a dildo. How did I bring this up in the past with other girls?

The pregnant pause fills the room, and I know I have to say something quickly.

“So, I kinda bought a strap on and was wondering if you wan-”

“Yes.” Josie cuts me off, looking beyond excited. I don’t think she is really aware she cut me off.

I let out a shaky breath, ‘Yeah?” I whisper. Feeling myself get drawn to her, leaning in closer. She doesn’t even answer before pulling me towards her by the back of my neck, crashing how lips together in a lust-filled kiss. It lasts a few seconds before she lightly shoves on my shoulders, forcing me back.

“Do you have it right now?” She pants.

I think she already knows the answer. I think she just wants me to get on with it.

“Eager aren’t we.” I tease, leaning in for another kiss but she pulls back.

She bites her lips and nods her head, “Yes.”

Jesus Christ. I expected her to tease me back or hit me on the arm or something. Or surely an eye-roll. But no. She just has to be desperate enough to be brutally honest. And if I am being brutally honest, I fucking love it.

“You want to now?” I ask, making sure.

Again she nods her head so obediently I swear I almost faint.

I give her one last kiss before I move off the bed. I quickly pull the strap-on out of my drawer and the bottle of lube. I do it without looking and Josie. Too worried that her stare will make me nervous and also worried that her longing gaze will make me just take her right then.

Should I just undress right now? Josie still is fully clothed. I think.

I turn to look at her. Yep fully clothed and for sure impatient. I turn back around to take a few deep breaths to calm myself.

I start by taking off my shirt. But I only get it lifted past my belly button before I hear Josie speak up.

“Wait.”

And I freeze at that, worried I messed up and she no longer wants to use it.

I turn to look at her and her face goes red. She stares at the comforter, picking at it before she softly says, “Can I do that?”

Oh. She wants to undress me.

I give her a reassuring smile, “Of course.”  
A shy smile graces her flawless face before she scoots herself to the end of my bed and shuffles over to me.

She tucks her lips into her mouth, looking unsure of herself, which is something I instantly want to change.

I put the strap-on and the pube on the dresser, allowing my now freed hands to grab her jaw and bring her face to mine.

“You are so fucking beautiful. Like gorgeous.” I stare deeply into her warm brown eyes, getting lost. Only getting pulled back into reality by Josie’s lips pressing sweetly against mine. It quickly turns heated. I trap Josie’s soft lip between my teeth, pulling back slightly and releasing it.

She comes back at me with a new vigour, quickly tossing my shirt over my head. I make quick work of hers, not wanting to be the only one that’s bare.

Her chest looks godly in her lacy black bra. They are spilling out of the cups, begging me to mark them. So I lean down, placing wet kissing along her chest as she again intertwines her fingers through my hair, giving them a sharp tug whenever I nip at her skin. Of course, this just encourages me more, wrapping my arms around her back to dispose of her bra.

I take her inviting nipple into my mouth, lapping my tongue around the already hardened nub. My other hand is playing with the other nipples, tweaking it and massaging the skin around it. I only stop when a tug on my locks is hard and prolonged, and I know it’s Josie asking me to pull away. Her wish is always my command so with one last kiss on the rosie peaks, I pull away.

Josie then drops to her knees.

Yes.

Drops to her goddamn knees.

To make the matter even more fucking insane, she looks up at me through her eyelashes. With her now marked up tits pushed out all while she is wearing a schoolgirl skirt. I don’t think I could even dream of something so perfect and sinful.

Not being able to help myself, my hand finds her cheek and I bring my thumb to her lips, tracing over them with the pad of my thumb. She then parts her mouth slightly, peaking out her tongue to flick over the tip of my thumb. She takes the tip of my thumb into her mouth, sucking slightly before gently pressing her teeth down.

I think I died. I really do. Because no fucking way this is happening. This can’t be real. Perhaps there is some new monster that plays on your deepest fantasies because this makes no fucking sense.

What did I ever do to get this lucky? I feel like I owe some God my life or something.

She releases my thumb, letting it pull down her bottom lip slightly.

“Holy fuck.” I breathe out.

All I can focus on is this goddess on her knees for me, giving me a smile that is both so sinful and both so innocent.

She knows exactly what she is doing.

I bite my lip hard when she starts undoing my pants. She makes she to keep eye contact with me the whole time. She bring my pants to my ankles, allowing me to step out of it. She then looks up at me questioningly, glancing at my underwear then at the strap-on. I can tell she has a question but is too shy to ask. I put the two and two together of what she is trying to ask.

“You can take them off.” I rasp, my voice sounding deep and unused.

She nods her head before hooking her finger around my underwear and slowly pulling them down. Instead of maintaining eye contact she just stares at the apex of my thighs. As soon as I step out of my panties she presses her lips to my throbbing center.

My hands instantly grab her hair, pulling it back from her face and wrapping it into my fist. She starts by licking a bold strip through my slit. She repeats the action a few times before using her fingers to open me up. She finds my clit instantly, wrapping her lips around the bundle of nerves and gently sucking.

I can’t help the countless moans that fall from my mouth or that my hips jolt forward when she flicks her tongue against me.

“Fuck Josie.” I groan, spreading my legs a little further. I feel like I might fucking fall over.

It only takes me about two minutes to finish on her tongue. I buck against her face as she sticks her tongue deep inside me as her nose messily nudges my clit. I feel myself clench around her, and maybe my grip on her hair becomes too tight but I am too far gone to realize. I actually come so close to falling that Josie has to steady my hips with her hands. Once the aftershocks finally settle I tightly close my eyes, taking deep breaths. I am actually worried I might faint.

I have to take my hand out of Josie’s hair to balance myself against my dresser. Putting all my weight into my arm and all my focus into my breathing, I don’t notice Josie stand up. I only become aware when her lips brush lightly against mine and I can just barely taste myself off her.

“Jojo. I…” I stop, “That was fucking amazing.”

She smiles into the kiss and I can feel the shift in her confidence. Good. She should be fucking confident. Who wouldn’t be when they look like that. And have such a kind and loving heart. How can someone be so perfect and have no idea?

Josie looks over at the strap-on before grabbing it, just showcasing how her confidence has grown. She gives it a quick inspection, trying to figure out how it works. I gently guide her hands towards parts as I explain.

“This goes around my thighs. And when you pull on this strap, it tightenings.” I give the material a little tug to show her what I mean.

I bring her fingers to the inside of the harness where the little nub lays for my pleasure, “And this vibrates, which is made for the user’s pleasure.” She slowly rubs her thumb along with the plastic-like material.

“How do you turn it on?”

I clear my throat, “Oh. Ummm, I think it’s over here.” I bring her fingers a little to the right, finding the little button. She gently presses to button, bringing the toy to life, filling the room with a soft humming sound.

She lets it run for a couple of seconds before she shuts it off.

“Can I put it on you?” She asks, her eyes wide and dark.

I just nod my head, knowing that my voice will either break on me on die out. She once again falls to her knees in front of me.

Fuck.

She taps on my foot, which somewhat breaks me out of this trance. She slides the straps over both of my legs, making sure she rakes her nails on the skin as she moves it up. Once she reaches my hips she tightens the straps, looking up at me to nod when it is tight enough.

When it seems to be in the right place, she slowly wraps her hand around the pink appendage as I watch in awe. She gives it an experimental tug, causing a moan to leave my lips. The inside piece is just in the perfect spot. She gives me a devilish smirk and I know if we don’t start soon, I will probably come again and I really want Josie to come next.

I grab the bottle of lube, pouring some on my hands, ready to spread it over the fake cock, but Josie looks up at me, looking almost offended.

“Can I?” She asks, holding her hand out for the bottle.

God, it is so hot when she asks for permission.

I wordlessly hand her the bottle and she squirts a small amount in her hands, rubbing them together before coating the dildo in it. Of course, she tugs it with each pump, practically jerking me off.

The sight drives me wild, and the pressure on my clit just seems to make me go madder. Once it looks coated enough and knowing I won’t last much longer, I call Josie up, “Jojo, come here.”

She looks somewhat disappointed that she can no longer play with the new toy but she rises to her feet. Knowing that I still have lube on my hands, I strategically place them on her breasts, kneading them and rubbing my thumb over her perked up nipples. She just closes her eyes at the sensation.

Normally I would have used that lube on her core, but something tells me she is already wet enough.

I kiss Josie with all the passion I can muster. All the deep feelings I have for her leak out into the kiss, turning it into a tender exchange.

This time I lightly put her on the bed, crawling after her as she slithers up so her head rests on the pillow. I am careful to not touch her with the strap-on yet.

With my hands on either side of her head, I scan her face, “Do you want to be on top? Or do you want me to be on top?” I ask, leaning on one hand to I can take the stray hair out of her face.

She looks confused, “What do you mean I would be on top?”

I get her question. Maybe I should have used different wording because it’s not like she is going to top me. Especially if I have a strap-on on.

I take a big gulp, and her eyes watch the bob in my throat, “Like, you would ride me.”

I guess that’s the only way I could have put it. Plus, I know sometimes it’s better for someone new to be on top. It gives them more control over what they want and they can set the pace. I am nervous that maybe I would go too fast or hard and hurt her. This way, it reduces that chance.

Josie looks dazed by my explanation. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so blunt. I probably ruined the moment. Fuck. A look of determination fills Josie’s face as she flips us over. A move I know she learned in our self-defence class. Actually a move I know how to exactly counter but of course, I don’t even if my first reaction is to. Josie hovers over my body, knees bracketing my hips. She is still in her skirt, and I really don’t know if I want to take it off or not. I want to see her fully, especially when I am inside of her, but fuck. This skirt does things to me. Well, actually this skirt doesn’t. Josie does.

She leans down and places a far too quick kiss on my lips before she rolls off of me. I raise to my elbows, wanting to protest. But I quickly shut up when I see she is pulling down her skirt.  
God.

She looks delicious with just those pale pink panties on and I can tell she knows it because she makes a show of slowly pulling them off. Her large eyes lock onto mine, and I know that my breathing isn’t even. Then I am blessed with a sight that will never stop making my heart skip and then beat way faster than it should.

Josie, completely bare. Just asking for me to take her.

I can see the shine on her thighs of her own excitement. I can practically smell her arousal from here. Once she kicks off the probably ruined panties, she walks back to the bed, then crawls towards me.

Fuck.

She settles straddling me, but once again, she hovers over me. Careful not to let herself touch the toy that is sticking up, waiting to enter her. My slide my hands up her legs, hoping it’s calming her down. I know this can be nerve-wracking. But she truly doesn’t look that worried. Seeing that she is looking down at me expectantly, I know she wants some guidance.

Now fully reclined on my back, I paw at her hips, rubbing my thumbs into her protruding hip bones. She rests on hand on the top of my chest for balance while the other one trails downwards to grip the toy.

Holy shit. This is happening.

She shifts slightly, trying to figure out the best spot. Her furrowed brow and tongue peaking out would look purely innocent and cute if she wasn’t about to fuck herself on my strap-on.

I know the exact moment it enters her because she lets out an audible gasp and closes her eyes. I also might now the exact moment because I can’t help but watch the toy split her. See how greedy she is as she takes it further and further. Letting it fill her up. She bites down on her lip hard as she slides further down on it. Her eyes have not yet opened and I am somewhat glad because I would be a little embarrassed if she could see me now. My eyes are essentially bulging out of my head and I have a laser focus on her wet pussy being filled.

I grip on her hips loosens because I can’t focus on anything else but her.

Her eyes finally open when she is fully pressed against my hips. Holy fuck. She took all of it. I use everything in my power to not buck my hips up. It’s too soon.

She slowly raises herself back on the toy, maintaining eye contact. I can tell my the tightness of her muscles and the small discomfort on her face that she isn’t accustomed to the size yet. Her first few movements along the toy are slow and cautious.

She starts moving fasts and letting out these little whimpers. The now fast movements move the inside nub against my clit, causing me to let out low groans.

I always find that the noises I make when I am fucking someone with a strap-on are less feminine and more animalistic. The other noises that fill the room are the sound of skin slapping and the obscene wet noises coming from Josie’s center.

She looks so fucking pretty riding me. Her hair all tussled and her chest still painting with little bruises. Her tits bounce along with her, putting me in a trance that essentially has me drooling. Her whole body just looks godly. I feel unworthy to see it and to touch it.

No one deserves Josie Saltzman.

She starts rocking forward, rolling her skillful hips. She is so fucking good at this. Is there anything she can’t do? This constant pressure against me is probably not enough to send me over the edge, but I am sure that watching Josie is. It might just take a while. But it doesn’t matter. Tonight is about her.

She grows desperate on my lap, bucking her hips racing after her completion. Both her hands are spread across my chest, giving her leverage to fuck herself hard against me. She looks down at me, looking like she wants something. I just keep staring in awe at her. This all feels like a wet dream.

She leans forward while still continuing her ministrations. I think she is going in for a kiss but she leans next to my ear, making her whines and moans grace my ears.

“Talk to me.” She breathes, her voice just a hoarse whisper.

Oh shit. I guess this whole time I have just been frozen in place watching. I have been barely touching her. My hands still remain unmoving on her hips with a weak hold. God. I think easily distracted.

And was so unanimated that Josie wants me to at least talk to her. Say things so she knows I am present in the moment. I hope she doesn’t take my lack of movement as an insult. I hope she knows its a compliment.

“You like it when I talk?” I ask, making sure my voice doesn’t crack halfway through.

She just hums in response.

I grip her hips tightly, helping the strength of her motions, “Do you like riding me, baby?”

She gasps out a yes, pulling herself back in the original position. I lift up to my elbows, still wanting to remain close to her.

I start lifting my hips to meet with each downward thrust from her. Jojo seems pleased with this as her eyes roll to the back of her head for a moment.

Not being able to watch her oiled up tits bounce in my face without doing anything about it for long, I bring on of my hands to grip it. Giving it a tight squeeze causing Josie to let out a long moan and lose her rhythm.

“You look so fucking pretty like this. So needy against me.” She closes her eyes shut at that. Rocking harder. Her body looks so smooth.

Knowing that she probably needs some pressure against her clit to come, well at least come soon, I press the pad of my thumb to her lips. I reminisce about just minutes ago her on my knees with my thumb in her mouth.

Josie seems to get the hit, parting her puffy lips, allowing my thumb to slide partly in before she wraps her wet lips around it. Her tongue swirls around my digit, sucking slighting and hallowing her cheeks. She is so hot.

I pull my thumb out with a loud pop before I bring it to her clit, pressing it tightly against her soaked center. Her whole body shivers at that, her bucking turning out of rhythm as she rides me with reckless abandon.

“I’m close.” She groans, ending it with an angelic moan.

I pull myself up, wrapping my arms around her waist, keeping my balance. With her height and the fact that she is sitting on my lap, my face is lined up with her bouncing tits. I take one into my mouth, sucking hard on the already reddened nipples. My hand slides down from her back, gripping onto her soft ass. Helping her with each thrust, pulling her harder against me.

I can tell she is about to come because her body arches like a bow, pressing her chest further into my face. I can feel her clenching around the toy, bringing it in further than pulsing, pushing it out.

The high pitch moan she lets out when she comes is so loud that I am sure the whole floor hears. I know she would be embarrassed if she was not in this lustful daze, but I preen at the sound. Proud that I can get that reaction out of her.

And with that, I feel my lap grow wet. Her excitement pouring out of her like never before, coating the toy, the harness and my lap.

I whisper sweet nothings into her ear, telling her how good she did and easing her down from her high.

She collapses into me, knocking me on my back, pressing herself against me, still having the toy inside of her.

Her breaths are so short and hard I worry she won’t be able to go for another round. It takes her a minute or two for her to settle with my hands rubbing soothing circles on her back.

“You did so good baby.” I whisper into her mane that is covering most of my face. Her scent fills me, and it instantly relaxes me.

“Holy shit,” She rasps, finally being able to speak.

I chuckle, “Good?”

“Amazing” She says dreamily.  
Now scratching her scalp I ask, “Can you go again.”

She squirms against me, shifting her weight around and pulling away to look at me with redden cheeks and wild eyes.

“Yeah” She pants.

With the confirmation I flip her on her back, managing to not let the toy slip out of her.

“My turn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS. 
> 
> Also, do you want this smut to continue to the next chapter to show Penelope on top?


	25. Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie's perspective of the last few chapters, and ending it off with Pen on top!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the long wait!

Josie’s POV

The last few days have been a lot. This weekend feels like an endless vacation. The only problem is that I feel like I cannot fully relax. Well, relax the way I wanted to. 

God, I want Pen so bad. And I get her reasoning for turning me down when I was high, but that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing. So when I woke up the next day, and Penelope cut the kiss short, I panicked a bit. 

I felt unwanted. I thought I might have messed it up. 

So I ran. And of course, I ran to Lizzie. Same old same old. 

And I ranted to Lizzie, and I was actually surprised by how well she listened. Well, it was more her telling me how stupid I was to think Penelope didn’t want me that way. Then it was more insults towards Penelope, but it felt lighter than usual. Plus, she was actually allowing me to talk about her and was giving me advice. 

I counted that as a win. 

Even with Lizzie’s words, it didn’t reassure me fully. I still felt weird. I felt off, and I was worried about giving anything to Penelope again with the fear of rejection. So, being my awkward self, I stuck with Lizzie when we went to Hope’s pre. 

And, unsurprisingly, Penelope was the one to break the tension. Her dorkiness was something that I couldn’t help but swoon over, especially when she was teasing the Hope and MG about their superhero debate. 

I just love that I can have actual conversations with her. I will say that at first, I was worried that maybe what I felt for her was just a mere crush. I for sure had a massive crush on her, but now it is much deeper than that. Sure I still feel giddy with her, and I can’t help but grin like the Cheshire cat whenever she gives me her attention. But, it’s more substantial than that. 

Being able to joke with her as I do with MG, or banter with her as I do with Hope, it just is perfect. She’s like the best of everything. It feels like I almost live off of spending time with her. She is so bright, and other things seem to dull. 

Like Raf. Don’t get me wrong; he is a good guy. But I don’t know how I ever thought I was content with that relationship. I guess I just didn’t truly know what content meant until I was with Penelope. 

So, can you really blame me for getting a little jealous when Scarlet was threatening to take that contentment away from me?  
I trust Penelope. I trust that she really likes me and wouldn’t mess it up. Again. 

And I could tell from her body language that she was uncomfortable with how bluntly Scarlet was flirting with her. I mean, anyone who had eyes could see. 

What made me even more pissed off was the fact that she was acting like I wasn’t even there. She was obviously trying to take Pen’s attention off me. But can I really blame her?

No.

How could you not want Penelope?

I know that there is a long line up of willing girls and boys that are just waiting for our relationship to end so they can get with her. It’s not her fault, and I certainly won’t let it affect our relationship. I won’t become possessive or consuming. 

That’s just not me. 

But with Scarlet, that was becoming difficult. At least the others would just stare at Penelope with longing looks and would blush whenever they fell under her attention. 

Scarlette though was ruthless. She flirted so openly that she didn’t seem even to fear rejection. And sure, confidence can be sexy, like on Penelope, but it really didn’t sit well with me when Scarlet was wearing it. 

Plus, Scarlet is like drop-dead gorgeous. Like super hot. I can admit that. Her dark features with the contrast with her light eyes are genuinely stunning. And her body is ridiculous. It’s hard to believe she is this young. In my eyes, she is better than me in every sense. 

So it makes sense why I feel a little intimidated. But she always did intimidate me, even before Penelope. She was never openly rude to me before, but I often would get caught in her piercing stares. I love making friends, so it’s not rare for me to go up and talk to others in my grade, trying to get to know them better. I usually wasn’t afraid to speak to anyone. Often, people are friendly to me because I treat them the same way. But with Scarlet, I never approached her. Too scared that she would laugh in my face or say some hurtful remark. 

I guess in sense I respected her. Like when you have that terrifying teacher that you don’t like because you think they are too strict, but you follow all their rules to a tea. It’s like a powerful dictator almost. 

My respect for her was slowly dwindling with each pass she made at Penelope. At one point, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I left with the excuse of getting another drink. I could see Penelope’s eyes light up at the chance of getting out of this conversation. But I turned her down and practically pulled MG with me. 

Once we were far away enough, I practically begged MG to steal my seat. Even though I quickly explained my plan, he still seemed against it. He was saying that Penelope would kick his ass if she took my seat, and I couldn’t help the burst of pride I felt at that. 

Penelope would stand up for me, and MG can recognize that. It feels good to have someone else in your corner. 

After bribing MG with promising to watch some superhero movies with him later, he walks off back to the group, and I grab a drink before finding Kaleb. 

I wait a while before telling Kaleb I will see him later, and walk back to the witches and MG. 

I can see Penelope tugging on MG to get up from my spot. It was so cute watching her defend my honour. 

She explains to me that MG took my spot, looking pleadingly at me, hoping I won’t get mad. 

When I announced that I was just going to sit on her lap instead, I could see her eyes essentially bulge out of her head. It felt so exhilarating getting this reaction out of her. Once I find purchase on her lap, I can’t see her face, but based on Lucy wiggling her sculpted brows at Penelope, I think she was still flustered. 

Maybe it is a bit of me marking my territory. Which is something I am not proud of. I shouldn’t let my fears and insecurities fester into actions of jealousy. But, scorching hot and perfect body Scarlet flirting with Pen right in front of me felt like a challenge. And I am frankly tired of backing down. 

Also, when I jokily called her Penny, just like Scarlet did, Penelope’s reaction scared me a bit. Her telling me not to call her that had me worrying that it was a name she only let Scarlet call her. But when she explains that she hates that name in general, I let out a smug “good.”

It’s good to know that she is annoyed by Scarlets flirting.

I feel more relaxed when we leave Penelope’s friends. Some of them are nice, others are quiet, and some seem, well, not very approachable. 

I can feel the buzz really start to hit me when I started dancing with Kaleb and MG. I knew we looked stupid, but I didn’t care. I was just really enjoying myself. 

Penelope slinks off to find Hope, but I continued my dancing, making sure that Penelope would save a dance for me. 

It seems like she takes forever to come back with Hope trailing behind her. Shortly after, we fall into step with each other, leaving barely any space between us. 

Everything feels overwhelming, having her this close. 

And perhaps with the most romantic gesture to exist, Penelope grabs my hand, bringing it over her heart. I am surprised to find her heart beating heavily, thrumming underneath my palm. 

“I am crazy about you.”

Those words rang in my ears, and everything stopped. They replayed over and over in my head. 

I am crazy about you. 

I am crazy about you. 

Penelope Park is crazy about me. 

Jesus Christ. 

My mind is absolutely filled with those words, filled with her. Filled with the thought that I drive her crazy. That I mean as much to her as she does to me. 

My mind is lost. Forming words seem way too tricky, so instead, I just kiss her. 

The rest of the night is rather uneventful, other than Penelope claiming that Lizzie told her about why I was embarrassed. It’s a little offside for Lizzie to tell Penelope that. I mean, sure, it does get the ball rolling. Without this push, sober Josie may have never told Penelope she wanted to break the rule. I know that when I am drunk or high it makes me say things I would never say sober. Or go for something that I usually wouldn’t. 

I don’t know if I should thank Lizzie or yell at her. 

Maybe both. 

We go to bed cuddling, which is my new favourite thing. Pen is just so soft and smells so good. I go to bed with the excitement of tomorrow from the surprise that Penelope promised and the expectations of tomorrow. 

Sex. 

It feels like forever but it really has been a couple of days. It’s rather pathetic how desperate I have become for her touch. 

I am touch starved now. 

Penelope leaves early in the morning, so I go back to my room to find Lizzie. She's sitting at her desk, looking somewhat dishevelled. I’ve seen this look often on her face. Like when she can’t find an outfit to wear for a first date. 

My anger for her telling Penelope I wanted to break the no sex rule flies out of the window, and concern replaces it. 

“Liz, are you okay?” I shut the door behind me.

She raises her head and turns to face me. There are so many emotions running through her face that I can’t tell how she is feeling. All I know is that it’s not good. 

“Yeah, I am fine. I just have something to tell you.” She wrings her hands together. 

I narrow my eyes. What did she do this time. She better not have done something to jeopardize Pen and I’s relationship. 

I sit on my bed, looking at her with a questioning gaze, “What is it?” I keep my tone soft. I did not want to jump to conclusions and start a fight. 

She awkwardly clears her throat, “Uhhh, Hope and I have been hooking up.”

What?

Lizzie hooks up with girls? And to make it even more shocking, she hooked up with Hope. 

I did not see this coming. 

How the hell did I not see this coming?

“Why didn’t you tell me.” 

Lizzie was the first one I told when I came out as Pansexual. Lizzie is always the first person. I trust her with my life, and it is a little insulting that she doesn’t seem to trust me. 

I wouldn’t have told anyone—even Penelope. 

I know how hard it is to come out, so I would never force it on anyone who isn’t ready. 

Lizzie rubs her face with her hands, “Firstly, I knew you had a crush on Hope. And you told me that I always go after people you like. So I just didn’t want it to be like that.” 

I tilt my head, “We talk about this though. I know you wouldn’t do that again. And I had a crush on Hope years ago, I don’t harbour any feelings for her now. Plus, I am with Penelope. You know it wouldn’t have mattered.” 

There has to be something else to it. She wouldn’t be this worked up. 

“I know. I guess I am just confused.” She groans, sinking further down in the chair. 

“Confused about your sexuality?” I question. I for sure know what that feels like. 

I have been there. 

I have done that. 

“Yes. And I just don’t know what I feel for Hope. She wants it to be serious but I don’t know if I do.” 

I sit and think about that one. Lizzie has been openly hooking up with people for a while now, I am pretty sure she made out with someone last night. Hope is probably looking for something exclusive, and Lizzie is obviously not offering that. 

Poor Hope. 

“The question then is, would you be completely fine if you stopped hooking up? Because she won’t stay forever if you never put a label on it.” At least, that's how I see it—doing something serious means that you are in it for the long haul. You want a future with them. Just like how I want one with Pen. 

Lizzie seems to think about that question, furrowing her eyebrows in thought.

She just groans, “I don’t know.” She looks seconds away from crying. 

The conversation dies after that, and we stick to watching a TV show on Netflix. Lizzie seems like she doesn’t want to talk anymore so I don’t push it. 

I make a mental note to bug her about what she told Penelope later. She obviously is feeling down and I don’t want to make it worse. 

Halfway through the episode Lizzie tells me that last night Penelope walked in on her and Hope, and that she is the reason why Lizzie is telling her. Apparently Pen said that if either Hope or Lizzie didn’t tell her, she would do it herself. 

I couldn’t help but swoon at that. 

It reminds me to shoot a text to Penelope, telling her to hurry up, because God, I want her now. 

It doesn’t take that much longer to get a text from Penelope, telling her she’s home. I barely say anything to Lizzie, I just rush out of the door and speed walk to Penelope’s room. 

I frantically knock, and when I am met with a grinning Penelope, I can help but crash my lips into hers. I know maybe I should have said hi or something, or do something that make me not seem so desperate, but I don’t care. She must know at this point how much I want her. It’s not like I have been hiding it really. 

The makeout session quickly turns heated, with Penelope dominating. Just how I like it. When it looks like it finally is going to lead to what I have been waiting for, Penelope pulls back, her eyes wide. 

My thought process was, holy fuck, did I do something wrong. 

She goes on to reassure me that it’s just my surprise, but of course, scares me further by saying she wants to talk first. Those words usually never mean a good thing. 

And then, she shocks me with saying that she bought a strap on. 

I won’t lie; I have been thinking about this for a while. How hot it would be for her to take me this way. To fill me up. To relentlessly thrust into me. 

So, although I was a little nervous about using the new toy, I was more excited. 

Also maybe a bit confused. I have never used one before, and I know little about it. I am pretty sure that it would be hard to get Pen off when she is just using it, so I go ahead and take matters into my own hands. 

By giving her head. 

And I think that is possibly the quickest I have made her come, but to be fair, it’s been a while. And I am sure that sight of me shirtless with my schoolgirl skirt on, on my knees in front of her would have been quite erotic. 

But I won’t lie, I was still a little nervous by the toy. But with Penelope gently showing me how to use it in a caring and non-patronizing way really settled my nerves. It is somewhat shocking how someone can be so sweet seconds before fucking you with a strap-on. 

When Penelope suggested me being on top, I was at first confused then excited. My mind tracing back to the time riding piggyback on Penelope during our first date. I don’t forget the thoughts that filled my mind during that. Her praising me as I buck against her. 

Damn. Riding her really sounded like a great idea. 

The thing that shocked me was how quickly I picked up on the motions. I know I have technically done this before, but I have never been this into it. At first it was a bit of a painful stretch, but soon after, all I felt was pleasure. 

It took me a while to realize that Penelope wasn’t really saying anything. Just staring at me, then at my chest, then to the part where my body met the toy. 

Usually, I think I would have been self-conscious with this much intense staring. But with Penelope, I felt empowered. 

But I still wanted more. I still wanted her to praise me. Call me a good girl and tell me how good I was doing. I know that Penelope probably won’t realize what I want because she seemed to be stuck in a trance. So I leaned down and asked her to talk to me. 

And after that, my mind kind of went fuzzy, filling with her silky voice and the feeling on the toy sliding in and out of me. It didn’t take me long after to come, soaking the toy and Penelope. 

Well, that was the first time that happened. 

And now, with Penelope flipping us over, with her on top of me, I know I won’t last long. 

Her hips slot between my legs, pressing her tightly against me, pushing the toy all the way in. My eyes roll back at that as it reaches a spot it hasn’t before. 

This feels so good. 

Wait. Why hasn’t Penelope turned on the vibrating part. Is she waiting for me to do it? Would it be rude for me to just turn it on?

I just really want her to get some relief out of this too. I know she probably just wants to focus on me, but she can do that while feeling good herself. 

Before Penelope can slowly pull out and push back in again, I trail my hand down her stomach, finding the button on the inside of the strapon and pressing it. I know it works when Penelope jerks her hips forward. 

“Fuck.” She rasps. 

Oh, it's for sure working. 

She buries her head into my neck, groaning before slowly pulling out and pushing back in. 

I know she is going slow and soft because she thinks I can’t take it right now, but I am so wet after my last orgasm that I really don’t need to go slow. 

Lost in lust, the vulgar words slip out of my mouth, “Fuck me Penelope.”

And with that, she growls. Like actually growls in my ear. 

Her hips thrust at a fast pace, the room filling with the sounds of skin slapping, my gasps, Penelope animalistic groans and the wet sounds of the toy pushing in and out.

My hands desperately grab at her shoulders, digging my nails into her skin. I am too aroused to care at this point, but I am probably creating angry red marks. 

“Fuck Josie. You are so good.” She says, between grunts. Her hips now thrusting with reckless abandon, slamming into me over and over again. 

I attempt to raise my hips to meet her, but the pace is too quick to follow. She suddenly pulls out of my neck, leaning back on her knees with the toy still inside of me. 

She grabs my calves, bringing them both up to her shoulders, spreading me open for her. She continues with her rough bucking, and I almost faint at the pleasure I am feeling. 

The toy continues to hit that spot that makes my legs tense, and my eyes roll. My moans become needy high-pitched whines, grabbing at any part of Penelope I can. 

Her face is focused, trying to keep the rhythm, but I can tell she is falling farther into the black hole of lust. Her muscles are strained, and I think that maybe she is trying hard not to come. 

My theory is proved when she brings her hand down to my center, quickly finding my clit and rubbing frantic circles around it while slowing down her pattern. 

“Jojo, please come.” She essentially whines, her attempt at being dominant overshadowed by her desperate need to come. 

She moves my legs off her shoulders, returning to her original position, but this time I wrap my legs around her hips. She somehow still manages to continue the ministrations on my clit. 

I can feel myself teetering on the edge, but need that final push to send me over. By gripping her raven hair, I tug her back to meet my eyes. Her face is crazed. Her eyes are glossed over, her lips swollen and her hair wild. 

We meet in the middle, pressing our lips together in perhaps the sloppiest kiss we have ever had, both too lost in our lust to indeed kiss. 

With Penelope letting out a groan in my mouth, I come. My legs lock around Penelope, tensing up. My eyes squeeze shut and I silent scream trickles out of my mouth. 

Through my climax, Penelope keeps thrusting, chasing her orgasm. The movements prolong mine, leaving me a shuttering mess. 

Pen lets out a string of explicit words, hers jerking at an erratic pace, then tensing, pushing her hips tightly against me. 

She then entirely collapses on me with the toy still inside. 

“Holy,” I breath out, able to finally catch my breath. 

“Fuck,” She finishes the sentence, her voice sounding raw. 

I rub circles into her back, causing her to release a hum of content. 

“That was the best surprise ever.” I lazily smile. 

It wasn’t what I was expecting when she said surprise, but you won’t see me complaining. 

Penelope just lets out a chuckle at that. 

Eventually, she stands up on her elbows, pulling the toy out of me. I let out a humiliating whimper at that, but she chooses to not comment on it. 

She unbuckles the straps, throwing the toy unceremoniously on the floor.   
“Round 3 after a break?” Penelope asks, looking down at me. 

I hum in acknowledgement, nodding my head. 

She flops down on top of me, resting her head on my bare chest. Wow, she really did a number on it. Multiple dark marks cover both of my beasts. 

She places a soft kiss on one of the larger hickies. 

“I love your tits.” She says dreamily. 

I giggle at that and jokily try to push at her shoulders, but she just sinks further into me. 

I swear she's like a super romantic hormonal teenage boy. 

I wait a few moments, basking in this pre-sex cuddle before I break our little bubble. 

“So Hope and Lizzie.” 

Penelope seems to let out a sigh of relief at that, “Yeah, apparently, it’s been going on a while.” 

I still don’t get how I didn’t know. There must have been signs, I probably was just ignoring them. 

Wait. 

Penelope said that she was going shopping with Hope when she was getting my surprise. So Hope and Penelope were at a sex shop together. 

Wait!

I feel like I shouldn’t even ask. 

“Penelope,” I scold, “Did you and Hope both buy strap ons?” 

God, why did I ask. 

Penelope's shoulders shake at that, and I just know she is laughing. 

“Ewww, Penelope.” I try to squirm out from under her but she holds me in place. 

“Hey, I was just trying to help Hope,” She jokingly defends.

“Stop,” I whine like a child. 

Penelope looks at me with a wicked smile on her face, “Isn’t it funny that both the Saltzman twins are getting fu-” 

She is cut off by my hand over her mouth, “You better not finish that sentence.” I threaten. 

She licks my hand, making my pull my hand away. Of course she has a smug smile on her face after that. 

What a child. 

She falls back on my chest, shifting to get comfortable. “Okay. No more talking about Lizzie and Hope.”

I wrap my hands around her, pulling her in closer. Having really good sex does make you tired. 

“We will talk about it after round 5.” She explains. 

“Round 5?” She really is ambitious isn’t she.

She cuddles further into me, “Yes, but nap first.”

She is so cute that it’s hard to remember that she was just fucking me senseless moments ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE COMMENT! That is what made me do the update! your comments keep me going.
> 
> Also, next few chapters will prob be more plot-heavy and quicker pace.


	26. Start of the Spiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much Penelope being soft and building up for upcoming chapters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I AM SO FUCKING SORRRRRY. 
> 
> It took my way too long to update and I am sooo soo sorry for that! This chapter also kinda got away from me. Not a lot of plot but I think it is pretty big for character development.

Penelope’s POV

Yes, we managed to go to round 5. 

I am a lot of things but a liar isn’t one. 

After the short nap and a few more loud orgasms, Josie collapses into me looking exhausted. I feel proud that I could tire her out, but I know that I am in a similar state. 

My legs feel like jelly, my ass and thighs have a constant burn that you tend to feel after working out. Well, I guess technically I was working out. 

Topping someone with a strap on for a couple of hours is a workout right?

Josie offers to clean the toy, so she slinks off stark naked into my bathroom with the dildo in hand. 

I really am lucky, aren’t I?

Being able to care for someone and have it reciprocated is something that honestly I haven’t felt before. I truly never had a significant other before. No sad breakup story that explains why my walls are so high. No lover has broken my heart and left me a shell of a person. 

None of that. 

I have never been cared for in this way, or at least let myself be cared for in this way. I have family and friends that love and care for me but it’s different. So fucking different that I question why I didn’t start seeking these feelings before. 

Actually, I know the answer to that. I was seeking these feelings, but Josie was off-limits. As much as I can say it was a purely sexual attraction at first, I think deep down I know it was much more than that. 

You don’t go out of your way to talk to someone just from a mere sexual desire. At least I don’t. Well, only for Jojo. I would make an excuse to talk to her, but I wasn’t forward with her. I thought she was straight at the last thing I wanted to do was scare her off. And maybe I was a little scared too. Scared that if I was open she would reject me. 

And I am not used to being told no. My sexual partners before her have all been eager to get with me. I was chased, I never did the chasing. 

So yes. Rejection scares that shit out of me, especially when I have opened myself up. 

I hate losing people I love. Grief, loss, anger, denial, blame, self-loathing; all of it. The worst feelings come when you lose someone you care for. Especially when you played a part in the demise. 

I can’t feel that again. 

I just can’t. I actually worry that I wouldn’t be able to take it. Like I would just self implode and collapse into myself until I was a ball of nothingness. 

For a while, that’s what I thought I deserved. To be nothing. To have nothing. I didn’t deserve anything. 

To this day do I love myself? I think the answer would be no. And I know how bad it sounds to not love yourself but isn’t that what being a teenager is all about. Finding yourself and accepting the piece of shit you are. 

I know that I am arrogant and cocky. I am sure everyone would be shocked to hear that I don’t love myself. I sure strut around the school as I do. But looks and personality are one thing. I like how I look, and I like the effect I have on people. 

But my actions, the past, my personality, everything really, is not something I love. Honestly, sometimes I loathe all those aspects of myself. Especially how selfish I am. I am so fucking selfish that it actually costed a life. Imagine that. Being such a needy brat that someone’s life slips away at your hands. 

But fuck that. Fuck those feelings. Fuck those horrible memories that replay in my mind every fucking hour of the day. And I cannot manage to escape them even with sleep. 

His face haunts my dreams. 

Sleep might not be my safe haven but Josie is. She makes me think about the present and the future. More specifically the future I want to have with her. 

Is it too early to think about weddings and kids?

Probably. 

I am broken out of my thoughts when Josie comes strutting out of the bathroom, wearing one of my oversized shirts. I must have left it in my bathroom somewhere. 

She is just so cute.  
Before she can come to sit back down on the bed, I ask her to bring me a t-shirt too. She returns with one of my many Star Wars shirts. 

Once I am somewhat clothed, Josie crawls back into bed with my, resting her head against my chest. Even that small action causes my heart rate to spike, and I am sure she can hear the loud poundings of my unsteady heart. 

“Should we talk about Hope and Lizzie?” I ask, knowing that it isn’t a topic we can just skip over. And I did say we would discuss this after all the mind-blowing sex. 

Josie just hums and nods her head, fitting further into me. 

“Do you think Lizzie will actually ever want something serious from Hope?” 

Listen. Hope is my best friend and of course, I feel it’s partly my job to keep her fragile heart safe. And Josie is, unfortunately, twins with Lizzie, and knows her even better than Lizzie probably knows herself. If I want to know what Lizzie is feeling, asking Josie seems like the best option. There is no way in hell you will ever see me spill my emotions to that blonde Barbie. 

Josie seems to think about this question for a while, pausing before finally answering, “Lizzie is complicated. Sometimes she doesn’t control her emotions well.” Understatement of the year. “And I think she does like Hope, just is worried about getting hurt. A lot of guys just use her.” 

“Kinda like how she is using Hope?” I can help but let the malice seep into my voice. 

Josie pulls away from my chest, leaning on her side so she can look at me when she softly says, “That’s not fair.” 

It’s not that I am upset with Josie. I am just upset with how Lizzie is dragging Hope along, and how she just follows like a lovesick puppy. And sure, maybe the fact that Josie is defending Lizzie’s actions is making me a bit upset too. 

“Hope is one of the best people I know. She doesn’t open up often, and she is to your sister. I just don’t get how she can be so focused on not getting herself hurt, that she isn’t seeing that she is hurting Hope.” I ease my voice, rubbing patterns in Josie’s back to hopefully diffuse the situation. 

Josie sighs before speaking, “I love Hope too, and of course I don’t want to see her hurt. I just am not going to force something on Lizzie when she isn’t ready, especially if she is questioning her sexuality.” There is a level of sternness in her voice that tells me I probably won’t win this one. 

And plus, she does make a good point. I guess I haven’t really been thinking about Lizzie struggling with her sexuality. It isn’t an easy thing coming out to others, and it’s even harder to come out to yourself. Just to accept the way you are. 

Not wanting to push this further, I pull Josie back down to my chest, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of her head. 

“Of course,” I whisper. 

Her body seems to relax at that, probably feeling like she doesn’t have to fight me anymore. We sit there for a while, cuddling into each other. 

“What does MG think about this?” She asks, breaking the comfortable silence. 

MG? Why would he give a shit?

“What do you mean?”, confusion laces my voice. 

“Well, he has been crushing on Lizzie for like years.” 

Oh fuck. I didn’t even think about that. Of course, Josie thinks about this. She is always thinking about how situations can affect others. That once again proves how I am selfish, and she is selfless. And also proves how I do not deserve her. 

Not even fucking close. 

“I didn’t even think about that.” I groan. 

I doubt that Hope has thought about it either, and knowing how selfish Lizzie can be, there is no way she has even give a second of thought towards MG’s feelings. Hope and MG are close, and I know that she won’t want to hurt his feelings. And even though what Lizzie and she have is not serious, I think it would be best if they told him. 

“He doesn’t know,” I explain to her. The only ones who know are Josie and me. And yes, I am somewhat shocked that Lizzie hasn’t spilled the beans to the whole school because she seems to do that after sleeping with any guy. But I suppose this could stem back to the fact that Hope is a girl, and she isn’t quite comfortable with her sexuality yet. Or maybe because she really does like Hope. 

But who knows what goes on in that little pea brain of hers. 

Josie once again pulls back from me, her voice is soft when she exclaims, “I think he should know.” 

It’s so soft that I think I am talking to an angel. I am pretty sure I am. Everything about her is soft. Her voice. Her features. Her body. Her personality. 

If anyone hates Josie Saltzman they should go straight to hell. 

I think he should know. 

It’s the right thing to do. But again, it’s not my place. It wasn’t my place to tell Josie about the whole Lizzie and Hope situation. It sure as hell isn’t my place to tell MG. No matter how close we are. 

“They should tell him,” I whisper back, attempting to match her tone. But of course, I fail. No one can be as soft as her. Especially not me. 

She nods her head, falling back into my chest, nuzzling herself into my neck. 

This is heaven. This is peace. 

I hold her tight against my body. 

We stay like that for a while before she perks up, “Let’s watch Harry Potter.” 

I scoff. Does she think I am so deep is post-sex bliss that I will accept to watch that garbage. 

Fuck yeah, I am. 

I am stuck in Josie Saltzman quicksand and there is no way of escaping. Even though usually I would fight to the death to watch Star Wars, there is no way I am saying no to that pretty face. 

That pretty, beautiful, cute face that could make me do anything. She looks so excited. How do you even try to diminish that? You can’t. It would truly be a sin to do so. 

“Sure.” I rub her back, replying to her demand. Although I know it came out as a request, everything that leaves her pouty lips is a demand to me. No question. 

So that’s how I get trapped in what seems like an endless Harry Potter marathon. I will admit the movies are good, but nothing compared to the Star Wars saga. Truly, my favourite part is when Josie gushes over a scene, telling me special details she learned from watching the cast interviews. It is cute to watch her be so passionate about something. Her soft eyes seem to sparkle as she stares intently at the movie. The best is when her lips move along with the words at a few lines. I don’t even think she knows she is doing it. 

What a fucking cutie. 

The movies seem to drag on, and I allow Josie to play the second one, but stop her when she goes to press the third. 

“No more.” I groan. I like Josie, but I like my sanity more. Actually, it’s pretty close. Or maybe they just go hand in hand.

Josie of course pouts, and it almost gets me to say fuck it, and let her click on the next one. 

Once she realizes her puppy dog eyes and puffy lips aren’t going to work, she huffs and puts her laptop away. She crawls back on the bed and straddles my hips. 

My hands instantly find purchase on her hips, lazily rubbing my thumbs into her protruding hip bones. 

Josie is biting her lip, but it doesn’t seem out of sexual frustration or anything. It seems like she is debating on saying something or not. 

I do my best to encourage her with my expressions. If that is even possible. I am not known to be very welcoming, so it feels a little foreign on my face. 

She draws circles on my stomach with her finger before shyly looking at me, “It was nice meeting your friends.” 

I smile softly at that, “yeah?” I urge her to continue, giving a light squeeze of her hips. 

“Lucy is really nice…” She trails off, obviously wanting to say something else. 

Josie has spent enough of her life keeping quiet. Playing second fiddle to her loud ass opinionated twin. She should speak her mind more. It is a goal of mine. 

“But?” I raise an eyebrow. 

She shifts uncomfortably on my lap, “Scarlet is a little…”

“Bitchy?” I add.

Josie looks a little surprised by my reaction, “I was going to say flirty or touchy.” 

Oh. 

She’s jealous? 

Of course, she has nothing to worry about, but it does fill me with a little rush at the fact that Josie was jealous. 

“Jealous?” I tease, poking at her slides, causing her to laugh. I start tickling her, changing our position so I am now pinning her down to the bed as she giggles away.

Once she catches her breath she speaks, “maybe I was a little jealous.” She whispers. She attempts to hide her insecurities but I see it through her eyes. She can attempt to hide what she wants from me but I will always be able to read her eyes. 

Although I am new to this whole relationship thing, I know that I am supposed to reassure her. So I try to do my best at that. 

“You have nothing to worry about. I only want you. Plus, she never was important to me.” I explain. 

Josie's expression drops at that. 

Wait. What did I say wrong? I thought I was being romantic. 

“You two hooked up?” She twists her face up in either hurt, confusion and disgust. Probably all three. 

Oh. 

That’s what I said wrong. 

Well. I said I would try to reassure her, I didn’t say I would succeed. 

I am sure I look like a deer caught in headlights right now. A lump forms in my throat and a wave of panic rushes over me. 

Scarlette and I hooked up a couple of times a few months back. She wanted me and I wanted to have sex so it worked. I never stayed in her company for long, always leaving right after we fucked. I wasn’t interested in getting to know her better. She was a pretty good lay so I guess I went back to that a few more times. 

“Yeah, but it never was serious.” I lower my voice, hoping that a calmer voice will smooth over the situation. 

“Okay.” She responds. And I know with that I fucked up. The playful atmosphere has instantly shifted into a tense one. 

Okay, now I feel like I am on the verge of toppling over. I hate when I fuck up, especially when it comes to her. 

I know I am lucky to be where I am, and if I mess this up again I don’t know what I would do with myself. 

Red warning lights are flashing in my mind and every voice seems to be screaming at me to fix the situation. I wrack my brain to find the perfect thing to say. The thing that will make this all better. Make Josie forget that I fucked Scarlet. 

Empty. 

Nothing. 

I fucking hate my brain. 

Do something you fuck. 

How long has it been since Josie had said okay? Way too fucking long. Now I am just staring down at her, and her body seems to be further away from my reach. I don’t know if it's from her sinking into the bed further, or me slowly pulling away unconsciously. 

Fuck this. 

I collapse my body into her, lying fully on top of her, burying my face into her neck, “I’m sorry.” 

It takes her a moment to respond, “for what?” 

Okay. What do I say now?

Deep breaths. 

“My past.” I husk out. 

It’s no secret that I got around. It’s no secret that I threw people away like they were nothing. I treated people like shit, and it’s not something I am entirely proud of.

Josie pulls me out of her neck, forcing me to look at her in her eyes which seems clouded over with emotion. 

“Pen, I would never be mad at you for your past. It’s not a problem.” her eyes almost frantically shift between mine. 

I bite the inside of my cheek, “yeah, but sometimes, I don’t know. I feel like I wish I was a better person.” I shake my head, frustrated that I can’t seem to explain myself well, “I want to be better for you.”

Those words seem to cause something in Josie to break. She looks pained. She looks heartbroken. 

Her hands move to my face, thumbing my cheeks which I know are tinted red. 

“You are the best person out there for me. I have no doubt in my mind.” She whispers with such confidence that I almost believe her. 

Almost. 

But I like to think I have enough self-awareness to know that there is no way that's true. 

She pulls my face down to her, pulling me in for a sweet kiss that I have no choice but to melt into. 

How the hell did this end up being Josie now trying to comfort me? 

God, I am awful. 

I somehow make the kiss softer, conveying all my feelings and fears in it. Fears of Josie realizing she could do so much better. Fears of her realizing that I am a shit person who is selfish as fuck. 

I finish kissing her by placing a soft press of my lips against the corner of her mouth, then another on her cheek before sliding back into the original position of my face tucked into her neck.

She pulls me tighter into her and a sigh into her neck, and I can’t help with the childish smile that spreads across my face as I see goosebumps form. 

I place a chaste kiss on her neck, earning me a small noise of contentment from Josie. 

I settle further into her, and my whole body relaxes, but my mind sure doesn’t. 

It doesn’t take long for Josie’s breath to become deeper, telling me that she has fallen asleep. I can tell I am minutes behind, but before I can succumb to my exhaustion I kiss her neck a final time. 

“I don’t deserve you. No one does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think? 
> 
> Your comments is what made me not give up on this story! Keep them coming! Very open to suggestions


	27. Double Date-ish?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope, Lizzie, Josie and Pen all link up at the caf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys. I will not give up on the story. Just have a ton of things going on.

Penelope’s POV

I wake up next to Josie, well more like on top of Josie. Her arms are wrapped around me, pulling me tightly into her torso. Our legs are tangled into each other, making us impossibly closer. Her body’s heat mixes with mine. 

I let myself relax into her body for a bit before tucking my head back into her neck, littering her skin with soft kisses. Trying to pull every taste of her I can. 

When that seems to not wake her up, I put more effort into my kisses, They become more open-mouthed, and I lightly bite at the skin. She starts to stir slightly and her breathing picks up. 

I give a hard bite on her neck which seems to fully wake her up and for sure will leave a mark. 

“Pen.” She groans, squirming from underneath me. 

I continue to attack her neck, loving the taste of her skin. It’s just so fundamentally her. 

She only allows me to leave a few more bruises before she tugs on my hair somewhat roughly, forcing me out of her neck. A groan leaves me lips at that, and a shiver runs through my body. 

Her face is puffy from her nap and her hair is all ruffled. How can someone be so effortly gorgeous. 

“Why are you always so horny after a nap,” She groans with a teasing smile on her lips. 

This is not a usual thing. It’s not like I wake-up every day with the equivalent of morning wood. It only happens when I wake up next to Jojo. 

“Because I get excited about waking up next to you.” I shrug.

She gives me a small smile and shakes her head, “you are so cute.”

Cute is totally not what I was going for. 

Sexy? Maybe. 

Hot? I’d take that. 

But definitely not cute. 

Even though she just called me cute, I lean in to kiss her properly on the lips. I attempt to deepen the kiss but Josie keeps it sweet and pulls away only after a few seconds. 

Fuck. Did I do something wrong?  
I pull myself up on my hands, separating our bodies with a concerned look on my face, “Is everything okay?” 

My eyes dart between hers, trying to read any discomfort. Josie’s eyes soften as they lazily stare into mine, “Better than fine. It’s just Lizzie wants us to grab food at the caf.”

Fucking Lizzie. 

“We as in us and her, or Hope too?” Is this some double date shit? Maybe that dildo really worked well for Hope. She owes me big. 

Josie attempts a shrug, “I don’t know, she didn’t say.” 

I’m not getting trapped in something, am I?

I fall onto Josie and groan, “Do we really need to leave now?” I whine. God, she makes me such a whiny little bitch. What happened to the all-powerful Penelope Park?

Josie giggles, wrapping her arms around my limp body. Maybe if I play dead, we can stay here the whole time. Or even better, I just keep Josie under me, and she won’t be able to leave. I could totally keep her pinned. I would like to think I’m stronger than her. Magic wise, I am unsure if she could beat me. Josie has always gotten great marks in school and I can tell she has this untapped potential. Every time she does a spell, her face is twisted in focus, but I don’t believe it’s the focus to do the spell. No, I feel like her concentration is focused on not over-doing the spell. She is using most of her focus on dampening down her power. 

I would love to see what Josie would look like with no restrictions. Totally free from boundaries and rules. Just her pure potential power being used. 

It would be hot as hell. And also probably scary. Having that much raw power is dangerous. 

Josie tries to wiggle from under me, but I push her down with my weight, making sure I am not actually hurting her of course. She huffs, seeing that I won’t move. 

“Pen.” She groans, giving me one last shove of my shoulders. She gives about half an effort, so my body stays locked in the same place. I start peppering her face with kisses, just so I can hear her giggle again. I didn’t know a sound could bring you so much joy and contentment. 

It works, and I preen at the sound. I am making her giggle. I am making her happy. I am the reason she is smiling. 

She then grabs my face, pulling me down to her welcoming lips. I was expecting a soft kiss but was met with an urgent mouth, pressing hungrily into mine. Her lips open, sliding her tongue into my unexpected mouth. I let out an appreciative moan at that, loving her eagerness, especially since moments ago she was just saying we couldn’t fuck again. The shock and intensity of the kiss make me feel dizzy, and my mind clouds only with thoughts of Josie’s taste. Strawberry, a hint of mint, and just entirely Josie. 

Then, suddenly, I am flipped on my back. Her lips leave mine in a hurry and she rolls off the bed. 

Oh. That was dirty. 

Well, she knows my weakness that is for sure. 

“That was cruel,” I complain, crossing my arms and pouting like a child that got its candy taken away. Well to be fair, I pretty much did. She’s a sweet as candy.

Josie whisks around my room, finding her clothes from this morning. “Lizzie will be mad if we keep her waiting. Plus, we had to leave this room at some point.” She explains as she walks over to me, blessing me with a quick peck on the lips. 

I can feel my resolve melting at that small gesture. Before she can leave my space, I lightly grab her wrist, “You can wear some of my clothes.”

Josie gives a shy smile at that, causing me to continue, “Pick anything you like. I am sure something will fit.” 

Josie is for sure taller than me, and maybe she has a slightly smaller waist, but nothing a belt couldn’t fix. 

I release Josie’s wrist and she wanders to my wardrobe, flipping through many extravagant outfits that mother has bought me. I like the clothes, even though they are just bought to uphold the Park name. I especially like the capes. It adds this flare that I strive for. Of course, some of these outfits Josie would never go near. They are too expensive and showy. 

Josie’s style is more preppy and laid back in a sense. Her style is beautiful but not quite show-stopping. But not everyone wants to be in the spotlight, and that’s understandable. I suppose the spotlight has always followed me. I am not sure anymore if I even want it there. I wonder how easier my life would be if I didn’t have the Park name shining on me every second. If eyes didn’t follow me wherever I go. If I could just blend in.

Be normal. 

Well as normal as a witch can be. 

I don’t even know if I want that. I have seen one way of life. It is hard to tell if I would want something different. What would different even look like?

I am broken out of my thoughts by Josie throwing some clothes on my half-naked body. 

“Get ready Pen.”

Wow, Why does it feel like we are a married couple? Why don’t I mind? Why do I like it?

With a huff, I move my body off the bed, changing in the clothes, making sure Josie is looking. When I finally turn and see Josie my mind explodes. 

Not in a sexual way. Not in a bad way. Just the way that you see the girl of your dreams wearing your clothes. 

Reality hits. And it hits hard. 

Fuck. Josie Saltzman is really wearing my clothes. Really just had a whole day with me in my room. Really wants to continue this. Really wants me more than a fuck. 

Fuck. It feels good. 

Knowing that your crush, no I would say more than a crush, likes you back. Fuck, I feel like I middle-schooler. I feel overall giddy. Someone who is as old as I am shouldn’t feel this way. These are childish feelings. 

Love. Love doesn’t come this quick. Love happens after months of being in a relationship. Maybe living together, maybe after deep talks. Maybe after talking about our future. 

These feelings seem all too soon. They seem scary. They seem like the feelings that would chase Josie away. 

And that is exactly what I am not going to do. I am not going to ruin the best thing I have. The only thing I have in my life. 

I am going forward cautiously. One baby step at a time. Let Josie lead. Let her guide the relationship exactly where she wants it to go. 

Josie rushes into the bathroom, and I lazily follow. She fixes her hair and turns to me expectantly, but looking rather shy. 

“Ummm. Do you think that I could borrow a toothbrush? And maybe if you have any extra deodorant?” She asks, playing with the hem of her shirt. Well, actually my shirt. 

Before responding, I grab my toothbrush and toothpaste. I slowly pass them to Josie, “You can just use mine if you aren’t grossed out with that stuff.”

Josie looks like she is hesitating, “You know. Like 5 seconds ago I had my tongue down your throat. Actually had it in another place too.” I tease, earning a light smack on my arm. 

“Fine,” Josie says, before brushing her teeth. Toothpaste starts foaming in her mouth, slightly coating her lips. 

So cute. 

So cute in fact, that I lightly pull on her wrist to pop the toothbrush out of her mouth and press a quick kiss to her unexpected lips. 

She shoves me away at that, “gross” she squeals. 

We both smile at each other like idiots, giggling. It’s like we are in our own little bubble. 

When she finishes brushing her teeth, she cleans off the toothbrush and hands it back to me. I throw Jojo my deodorant before starting to brush my teeth. 

After I put on some light makeup, we both made it out of the room and headed towards the caf. 

Oh god. What did Josie get me into? I have to eat with her god awful sister. The entire walk there, I try to calm myself down. I can’t get mad at Lizzie. I have to play nice. Well, niceish. 

This is going to be really really hard. 

Well, at least I might have Hope and Jojo there. Well, probably only like half of Hope because the other half will be uselessly pinning after the barbie. But realistically, I will be doing the same with Josie. 

When we actually enter the caf, I instantly want to turn away. Hope is sitting pressed against Lizzie, looking awful, well…. hopeful. Lizzie on the other hand looks a bit annoyed and maybe a bit sad. 

Or guilty?

God. She is god to break the poor girl's heart. 

Josie brightens when she sees the two girls sitting at the table, and I am sure that my face is the complete opposite of hers. She drags me to the table, sitting on the opposite side of Lizzie and Hope. 

Hope looks way too smug. Way too proud

I plop down across from Hope, and Josie scoots closer so we are tightly pressed together, and maybe that makes me start feeling a little better. 

Before we can even get a word out, Lizzie’s ear-splitting voice starts, “What took you so long.” 

I can physically feel Josie deflate slightly. Her positive energy seemingly sucked away from her. Well, I guess that’s why Lizzie is a siphoner. She sucks all energy out of Josie. Just a black hole in a blonde wig.

Seeing Josie’s happiness diminish, even if it is by a very small amount, really makes me want to jump across the table and throw a punch at Lizzie. Or maybe put a hex on her. It takes a lot of fucking self-control to stay seated and takes, even more, to keep my mouth shut. 

Although I would love to stand up for Josie, I know she doesn’t like to be babied. She can stand up for herself. Even if she thinks maybe she can’t. 

Josie shifts, obviously feeling uncomfortable. 

“We got distracted.” She says in a serious tone as if she didn’t pretty much just tell her twin sister that we were messing around. 

In a very unsurprising Lizzie move, she recoils in disgust, making a whole scene before spitting, “I don’t want to hear about what Satan does to you in her sex dungeon.” 

Well, she is creative, I will give her that. 

Josie seems shocked by that accusation, spitting around nonsense to defend herself. Hope just looks at me with a raised eyebrow which I return. 

With no words spoken, we are having our own little side conversation. It’s a mixture between, ‘did we really sign up for this?’, and ‘the strap on worked well for me, how about you?’.

Hope and I are so lost in our own non-verbal conversation that we don’t notice that the twins have stopped talking. They stare at us for a second, trying to decipher what Hope and I are doing. 

Lizzie stands up abruptly, “Jo and I are going to the bathroom.” She tugs at a confused looking Josie, guiding her out of her seat. 

I look up at her with questioning eyes and probably a little pout on my lips, which makes her face light up slightly. She quickly leans in, pecking me on my lips before Lizzie, who is making gagging noises, is pulling her towards the bathroom. 

I look over the tribrid to only find her looking longingly at Lizzie’s back, probably wondering why I get a goodbye kiss from one of the siphoners and she doesn’t.   
Hell, maybe the strap on didn’t work all that well. 

As soon as they are out of earshot, Hope leans over the table excitedly. 

“Last night was amazing. I was so good.” She smiles. Leave it to Hope to somehow turn talking about sex even weirder. Who says, ‘I was so good.’?

Although all I want to do is tease her right now, I can’t help but let her energy flow into me. 

What? I can’t be excited for my friend for having good sex? Or how Hope put it, her being good at sex. 

“Yeah?” I question, encouraging her to continue. 

She nodded happily turning around in the chair, facing away from me. 

What is she doing? 

She lifts the back of her shirt to expose tons of red claw marks. 

“Holy fuck! Were you attacked last night?” I gasp, pulling down her shirt. I know Hope is inexperienced with lesbian sex and shit, but she must know not to show her sex scratches in the middle of a cafeteria. That's just basic logic. 

She turns around to face me, looking like an excited puppy. 

Okay, maybe this is a little cute. In a really twisted way. 

I am proud of my little gay baby. 

“I casted a spell so I couldn't self-heal. She said she likes marking me.” She smirks. 

Okay, maybe she is getting a little too cocky now. 

Hope seems to just remember that I too have had strap-on sex because she jolts up, “Oh! How was your time?” 

Such a simple question it seems. But it is quite difficult to put into words how that experience was. Surreal? Perfect? Magical? Hot as fuck? 

No words seem to do it justice. But to be fair, no words seem to do justice to how I feel when I am with Josie. Sex or no sex, it’s just a beautiful time. 

I know how pathetic I sound thinking that, so I sure as hell will not say it out loud. Not even to Hope. 

“It was amazing.” My mind flashes back to just mere hours ago. To Josie taking it so well. Being so good for me. Fuck. 

I continue, lost in my head, “It was so fucking hot. God. It was like my perfect fantasy.” 

I keep it general. I don’t want to go into details with Hope. Well, at least not in the middle of the caf. 

Hope hums, taking a bite out of her food, eating it like a...well, a wolf. “Well, I am glad we both had a great time. Thanks again for taking me to buy it.” She says with a mouthful. 

Just as I am about to scold Hope for eating like a caveman, Lizzie comes storming out of the bathroom. I can’t quite pin the feelings running through her face, all I know is she looks very emotional. I am just not sure what emotion is running through her. 

Hope whips her head back, looking at Lizzie. 

Lizzie rushes to our table, “I’m not hungry. I’m going back upstairs.” Her voice is cold. It’s almost robotic. 

What happened in that bathroom. And why is Josie still in there? 

“Do you want me to come?” Hope questions with puppy eyes. 

Fucking idiot. 

Can’t read a room can she. Can’t see that Lizzie is pretty much saying, I am leaving, bye. Please don’t come after me. 

She is such an idiot in love. 

It is sad. What is worse is the hope in her eyes. Her childlike cluelessness. Her innocence is so ready to be crushed under the scrawny hand of Lizzie Saltzman. 

I do my best to send eye daggers at Lizzie. 

Be nice to her Lizzie. She’s fragile. 

Lizzie doesn’t seem to get the message because she quickly says no and walks away, leaving Hope looking confused and hurt. 

Well. I guess the strap plan didn’t really work. No matter how hard Hope can fuck her, she can’t melt the iciness heart of Elisabeth Saltzman.

I almost want to hug Hope. And I don’t hug. 

“What was that about?” She asks, her head still turned towards the door where Lizzie walked out of moments ago. 

I shove food in my mouth to avoid this conversation, “No idea.” I mumble. 

I wait another minute for Josie to leave the bathroom, and when she doesn’t I get a little worried. What the fuck did Lizzie say to her. 

In the middle of debating ongoing in the bathroom to go check in on Jojo, I see Scarlet make her way into the bathroom. 

Oh no. This isn’t good. 

I grab Hope’s arm to get her attention, “You have to use your super hearing. Scarlet just went into the bathroom and Josie is in there.” 

Hope looks at me with her eyes squinted, but when she sees the panic and seriousness on my face, she does it without being asked again. 

Good friend. 

I sit impatiently across from her, “What are they saying?” 

She shushes me at that, which frustrated me more. 

Hope’s face that goes a little red. Oh shit. That cannot be good. 

“What?” I hiss, wanting to know every word that is said in that bathroom. 

Hope shifts and awkwardly clears her throat, “Scarlet is saying that you will drop Josie as soon as you get tired of her. She is pretty much saying she Ummm…” Hope pauses, looking around the room almost to see if she can find the best word to say, “Can pleasure you better than Josie.” 

With that, I am rushing towards the bathroom, flinging the door open. I find Scarlet leaning on the sink, looking cool and collected while Josie seems to be folding into herself, face red and fists clench. 

My stomach knots when Scarlet's face brightens when she sees me. It’s gross. I only want to make Jojo's face look like that. 

Without breaking stride, I wrap my arm possessively around Josie, giving Scarlet a tight smile. I can tell my eyes are reading rage, but my whole body seems relaxed. 

“You know. Jojo here is a very quick learner.” 

Both of them look at me with their brows furrowed, wondering what the fuck I am talking about. 

“Like a less than two-minute-long learner if you know what I am saying. Which honestly, is a little embarrassing how quick that was.” 

I walk out of Josie's side, spreading out along the floor without breaking eye contact with Scarlet, who looks a little shocked, but for sure amused. 

“But. Then I thought to myself. Having the girl of your literal dreams on her knees for you in nothing but that iconic little skirt, well, I feel like cumming in 2 minutes isn’t that humiliating. Don’t you Scarlet?” I ask with my voice laced with venom. 

Scarlet huffs before a smirk spreads across her face, “Well Josie. I didn’t know you had it in you. I have to say, I’m impressed.” She rasps as she looks up and down her body. 

What the fuck. Is she hitting on Josie now?

I feel like I am going to have whiplash. 

And with that, she saunters out the door. I don’t miss the extra swing she puts into her hips and I guarantee Josie doesn’t miss it either. 

Josie. 

Fuck. 

I probably shouldn’t have said any of that. Josie of course would not want everyone knowing our sex life. Especially Scarlet. 

“Josie, I am so sorry. I don’t know why I said that. I just wanted her to back off and-” 

I am cut off by Josie roughly pressing her lips to mine. She grabs my back, pulling me into her, making sure we are hip to hip. 

The intense kiss doesn’t last long as Josie pulls away, looking sinfully flustered, “No. That was fine.” She pants. 

We stand with our foreheads pressed together and our breaths mingling. 

“Well, now that she knows how good you are, I think she is going to want a threesome.” I tease. 

Josie shoves me at my shoulders. 

“You’re an idiot.” She giggles.

Yep. I am an idiot. And I am a much bigger idiot than Hope. I am in so much deeper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT! I only got 11 last chapter :( 
> 
> I hope you guys aren't forgetting about this story. 
> 
> Also, I will try to update faster but no promises. and I would love to hear what you guys want to see in upcoming chapters. I think I have maybe 5-10 chapters left in this story. 
> 
> Love you guys!


	28. Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I say this an important chapter that dives into Penelope's mind. Also, a little build up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait. I will be able to update more often so don't worry! Loved your comments last chapter! Thanks for the support.

Josie and I eventually leave the bathroom in a fit of giggles to find Hope pouting at the table. I swear that pout could give Josie’s a run for her money. That’s what tells me that something is really wrong. 

Hope doesn’t usually pout. She doesn’t usually whine or complain. I will admit, that girl has been through some shit. With both her parents dead and the weight of the world on her shoulders, she is surprisingly upbeat and sane. And I mean, I would never call Hope upbeat, but given the cards she has been dealt, she is beyond expectations. 

So seeing her slouched over the cafeteria bench, with her bottom lip sticking out, is rather shocking. Or maybe it just furthers my suspicions how madly she is in love with Lizzie. 

One bad interaction and suddenly Hope is sulking as I have never seen her before. 

Now, I really want to know what Lizzie said to Josie. Obviously, I won’t push it. It’s not my place. I won’t force Josie to break her sister’s trust. I know how close she and the barbie are. 

Josie and I both sit on either side of Hope, feeling as if it is our duty to break her out of this state. I mean I consider myself Hope’s closest friends, and I am sure that Hope also feels the same way about Jojo. They have been hanging out with each other a lot recently. Honestly, I don’t think I have seen Hope open herself up this fast. 

Do I find it a bit insulting?

Maybe.

Do I understand it?

Absolutely. Josie just has this way of cracking you open. Making yourself pour your genuine self out right in front of her. Beg her for confirmation that you are enough. That you matter. 

It’s almost like you are proving yourself to her. Proving that you matter enough to talk to her. And it’s not that she acts as if she is better than everyone else. She really doesn’t. It’s just that everyone knows how good she is, how much of an angel she is. So fuck yeah, you feel obligated to prove yourself to her. 

I assume that meeting Saint Peter up in heaven wouldn’t compare. 

Jojo is an angel, and I will never stop trying to prove why I deserve a second of her attention. Even if I truly don’t think I deserve that. 

Hope adds very little to the conversation, even if we try to pull it out of her. We mostly get grunts or head nods. It seems that her patience is wearing thin, as all of the sudden, she stands. 

“I’m going to my room,” She declares. 

It’s not a question. She leaves no room for argument. So Jojo and I just nod along, allowing her to essentially march back into her room, looking confused, frustrated and disappointed. 

I can’t blame her really.

As soon as I know Hope is out of supernatural earshot, I turn my attention to Josie, “What was that about?” 

She shifts in her seat and somehow manages to move closer to me. I would be lying if I were to say I didn’t meet her halfway, pressing our sides together. 

She sighs before explaining, “I don’t know,” She bites her lip. Hard.

“I just think Lizzie doesn’t know what she wants,” She trails off 

She looks uncomfortable and maybe even divided. Perhaps between Hope and Lizzie or maybe between telling me the truth or not. 

I am a person who seeks out the truth. I stand for no bullshit but my own. And if it were anyone else, I would tell them to spill. Tell them to explain to me the exact words that left Lizzie’s mouth. 

But Josie isn’t everyone else. I would never push her into anything she was not comfortable with. I would never want to make her feel rushed. 

And most importantly. I would never want to ruin this. Never want to ruin this little bubble of joy and infatuation Jojo and I have seemed to create. I don’t mind acting with caution. Especially if it means keeping her this close.

So I just nod along with Josie. Even though I want to explain how it’s not fair that Hope’s heart is in the cold and perfectly manicured hands of Lizzie. And how Lizzie is acting so carelessly with Hope’s stitched up heart. 

But I keep my mouth shut. I am sure Josie is having a hard time knowing her twin is hurting her best friend. So why would I make her feel worse? 

I change the topic, bringing up that it is only fair to watch Star Wars now as I had to power through some Harry Potter. 

Josie doesn’t seem eager to agree so after a few smartly placed pecks, she agrees to start watching Star Wars. 

We finish eating and scamper off into my room, not trying to get caught in the cross-fires of Lizzie and Hope. 

We fall onto my bed, kissing each other softly before I grab my laptop and put on Star Wars, obviously starting with episode 4. 

I’ve seen this movie way too many times to count. Peyton loved it, and since we were young, he would always drag me to watch them over and over again. His whole room used to be decked out in Star Wars posters and everything when he was in elementary school. I just wish he was around the see the new trilogy. 

Halfway through the movie, Josie rests her head on my chest, and I know she can hear the uptick in my heart rate. My focus for the rest of the movie is directed towards the feeling of my fingers running through her soft locks. And I just get lost in the feeling of having her this close. Not just physically though. I can just have lazy days with her. Lie in bed and cuddle watching my favourite movie. 

This is happiness, isn’t it?

I become so blissfully happy I don’t notice the movie end and the second one start. Around 5 minutes in I realize. 

“Do you want to watch another? We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” I ask, using my hand that’s not in her hair to rub her back. 

She hums at the contact. “Maybe we could just talk.” She mumbles, burying her face further into my chest. 

Does she want to talk about something specific? Did I do something wrong? 

Fuck. 

“What do you want to talk about?” I rasp, worried that this will take a negative turn quickly. 

She pulls away from my chest, leaning on her elbow allow her to look down at me. She studies my face for a moment before lazily replying, “Anything. Everything.” 

I release a sigh of relief at that, and she looks at me with a furrowed brow. 

“I thought I was in trouble or something.” I sheepishly explain with a smile creeping on my lips. 

Josie beams at that and I am taken back by how beautiful her smile is. Obviously, I know how pretty her smile is, but I swear it shocks me every time she smiles so carefree. Especially that I am the reason for that smile. How did I get so lucky?  
“Have you done something that you should be getting in trouble for?” She asks with a raised eyebrow. 

I pretend to rack my brain, attempting to find my wrongdoing. Josie still peering down on me looks amused. “Not that I know of.” I try to fight off a smile but fail. 

She laughs at that and falls back into me, resting her head on my heart. There is a pregnant pause, and I for sure know I won’t be the one to break it. I am content like this. Just lying here. No talking. No interrogating. No talking about feelings or the past. Just living in the moment right now. 

“I want to get to know you more,” Josie whispers into me, sounding unsure. 

I hum in acknowledgement, hoping that will spare me time to think of a response. 

“I want to know you more too.” I hush back, my hand finding purchase in her hair again. 

Silence again. 

“What is something that you haven’t told anyone.” She asks as if it is not the most personal question of all time. 

Dozens of answers run through my head. 

That I feel tremendous guilt every day.

That I am haunted by that night every day.

That I think one day everyone will get bored of me and leave.

That I am worried I won’t let myself be truly loved

That I don’t deserve love. Especially Josie’s.

That I think I am head over heels for Josie. Deeply and madly falling. 

“I guess that I am a bit of a romantic. Well, I didn’t really know I was until you.” 

Okay, I know that was a little lame to say, but it sounds way better than all the other options running through my head. 

Jojo grabs my hand, pulling it up to her lips, pressing softly against my palm. It’s such a sweet and gentle gesture it throws me completely off my axis but relaxes me at the same time. 

Perfectly comfortably uncomfortable. 

“You’re smooth.” She soothes, places more delicate kisses around my hand. 

“I know.” I grin. 

I pull my hand slightly away, “What about you Jojo?” 

“Huh?” She seems dazed. Lost somewhere deep in her mind. I worry for a moment that she isn’t happy. Maybe she is reading into things. Is there a reason why she can’t be present?

“Something you never have told anyone.” I pull her tighter into me, pathetically hoping the closeness will stop her mind from drifting off. 

“Becoming like Uncle Kai.” She speaks as if it’s the greatest secret and that I understand what she is saying. I have no idea who Uncle Kai is. I have never heard of him. 

“Who’s that?”

Josie sighs at that, rolling off my onto her back, “It’s a really long story.”

Without a thought, I respond, “I want to hear it. I want to know everything about you.”

She gives me a sad smile in return. “Well, my mom isn’t really my biological mom. She kinda was a supernatural surrogate. My bio mom was named Josette. Her brother killed her while she was pregnant with me and Lizzie at her own wedding. He killed her to become the Gemini leader, but he was sent to a prison world.” 

I listen to every word. Every syllable. Unexplained feelings and situations seem clearer. Alaric being a somewhat alcoholic and absent father makes a little more sense. Caroline and Alaric never seem to have any chemistry or love. The fact that Josie looks nothing like Caroline. 

But why would the kind, soft and gentle Josie ever think she could be something like that, like Kai?

“Why would you think you could be like him?” My voice has no judgement. I am very careful to make sure it comes across as soft and concerned. Not scared of her. Just concerned for her. 

“It can be genetic.” 

Bullshit.

“Yeah, well if it is genetic, it for sure isn’t you.” It’s Lizzie. But that doesn’t need to be spoken. It is already known. She knows what I mean.   
Josie frowns at that, not looking pleased with me indirectly calling her sister crazy. And I mean fair. I know the connection that is between siblings. Fuck, do I know that connection well. 

“I’m sorry that was unfair.” I apologize, having enough self-awareness to know I am wrong. It was wrong to say something like that. Especially if it hurts Josie. I make it a mission to not say negative things about people Josie loves. I mean, do I think I can really do that? No. She had is an asshole and her sister is a complete bitch, but I will try my best to keep my mouth shut. 

Something closes across Josie’s eyes and I can’t tell if it’s good or bad. And that scares me a bit.

I lean towards her, my body aching from being this far away from her for this short time period. 

“Jojo,” I move a piece of hair out of her face, “Why do you think you turn into Kai?” My touch and voice are gentle. I don’t want to break her. 

She clears her throat, “Sometimes, I think I have this magnet leading me to something bad. Almost like inevitable. I have done dark magic a few times, and each time the draw to it is stronger. It’s like calling to me.” She stares at the ceiling, getting sucked into her own head. It’s like she is telling a story she knows like the back of her hand. Repeating words that seem to have no weight to them. Reading off a script. I know she has had this conversation in her mind many times. She knows it too well. She seems unbothered.

“Jojo,” I practically whine, pulling her body back onto me. “You are strong. So much stronger than you know. Whatever you are feeling, I know you can fight this. And if it’s getting too much I will always be here. We will figure it out one way or another. We can get through this. Together.” 

Josie seems to melt into my final words, her body relaxing into mine. I try hard not to puff out my chest with the pride I feel making her better. I am never good a reassuring people. But maybe things will be different with Josie. Maybe I know what she wants to hear. Needs to hear. And I get her concern, but I know about black magic. I know it’s addicting. I’ve seen people lost in it. Hell, I have felt that pull too at times. But that doesn’t discredit Josie’s feelings or worries at all. 

“How are you so perfect?” She mumbles into my chest. 

That is probably the biggest lie I have ever heard her every say. I would never in my lifetime use that word to describe me. I could give you a list as long as the English dictionary to explain why I am far from that word. 

Selfish. Greedy. Mean. Self-centred. Hot-headed. Rude. Thoughtless. Harsh. Pompous. Conceded. Dishonest. Malicious. Obnoxious. Negative. Bitchy. Cold. Cocky. Defensive. Grumpy. Hostile. Hypocritical. Impatient. Insecure. Judgemental. Manipulative. Materialistic. Uncooperative. Vain. Pretentious. Sleazy. Resentful. Spoiled. Rebellious. Uncommunicative. Withdrawn. 

And that is just the tip of the horribly unperfect iceberg. 

I laugh a little at Josie’s remark. It’s like God calling the devil holy. It’s ironic, twisted and wrong. 

Very wrong. 

“I am very much not. Very much.” I respond in a bit of disbelief. She can’t really believe I, Penelope Park, is perfect. 

Josie softly pulls my chin down to her with a determined look in her eyes, “Well maybe you are just perfect for me.”

I think I let out an audible gasp at that. And maybe, just maybe, my eyes glass over slightly. 

I knew words could hit hard. I have been hit by countless hurtful words. I am used to that. Almost immune at this point. But gentle, loving and caring words. Well, it’s new. 

I look at Josie a little dumbfounded. What is the opposite of heartbreak? I feel like that’s what I am feeling right now. 

Feeling that staring into chocolate brown eyes is becoming too much, I stare at the ceiling to compose myself. Breathing in slowly, trying hard not to let my eyes fog up even more. 

Breathe in. 

Breathe out.

Just like he taught you. 

Josie lets me fade away for a bit, but I don’t seem to come down from this high. Her voice is concerned when she asks, “Pen?”

Knowing words cannot express my feelings, and knowing how broken they would sound leaving my lips, I decide to act physically. 

It’s easier that way. 

I wrap my arms tightly against her, smooshing her against me. I know she can hear my heart beating insanely loud and fast. I know she can feel my hands shaking against her back. I know she can see the panic and appreciativeness that skates across my features. 

I know she knows I am freaking out. She knows that maybe I am not used to this. Not used to kind words. Not used to being treated so kindly and lovingly. She must know all of this. But she doesn’t mention any of it. 

If she thinks I am perfect for her. Fuck, that makes her a million times more perfect for me. I don’t think I could feel this way about any other person. I don’t think I will ever want another person the way I want her. 

No way. 

Josie is it for me. 

And it blows my fucking mind that maybe, just maybe, I could be it for her too. 

\----

We both fall asleep after that, but the nap is short-lived. I don’t know how much time has passed but I can tell it’s not a lot. However, what I can’t tell is who wakes up first. I am unsure if my wiggling woke up Josie, or the other way around. 

Either way, I am met with the beautiful sight of a slightly swollen faced Josie.

Cute. 

Once we come to our senses, Josie sits up, looking far too eager for someone who was drooling in their sleep moments ago.

“Can I ask you more questions?” She asks with a pout of her lips that I just know she is using against me. Evil that one is. 

“Of course.” I rasp, voice adjusting. 

“Tell me about your family.” 

Nope. 

Not this. 

Too soon. Too much. Too heavy. Too horrible. Too traumatizing. Too complicated. Too embarrassing. 

And way too much guilt. 

I shrug my shoulders, keeping my face as uninterested as I can. “Not much to tell. We just aren’t really close.” 

Don’t look at her too long in the eye or she’ll know there's more. 

So much more. 

Josie’s eyes squint and for a second I think she is going to press me. Ask about specifics. Ask about parents. Or worse, siblings. 

But she decides to let it go. 

“What’s your favourite subject?” I ask, changing the topic. 

Josie answers, letting the family question go. 

For now. 

God, I wish this was the only time when it was brought up. 

But it’s not. But for fuck sakes, I really wish it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT! The last chapter ones meant so much to me! 
> 
> For this chapter, there are a few questions I want to ask.
> 
> What was your fav line from the chapter?
> 
> Do you think this had good insight on what's going on in Pen's mind?
> 
> Are you ready for some PAIN!!! But don't worry. It will work out. I swear. And maybe I'll give you some humour, smut and fluff as an apology :(


	29. Bloody Football

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a fast forward. Pen goes to one of Jojo's football games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, this chapter has been stewing for a while, just had exams and things that got in the way.

Josie and I fall into a rhythm. A very peaceful, soothing, and comforting cycle. These last two weeks feel like heaven. More often than not, Jojo sleeps in my room. I wake up either to find Josie lightly snoring on my chest or a peck goodbye before she rushes back to her room. The best are the weekends where we can just lazily lie in bed, and well… fuck all day. 

You would think that our sex drive and attraction towards each other would dull, but it hasn’t. Not in the slightest. When we have days to ourselves, it is mostly spent bingeing Netflix with breaks of sex. I like to see it as sex with breaks of a couple of shows I don’t even end up paying attention to. I am far too busy getting lost in my head and lost in the beautiful girl cuddled up beside me. 

We talk too. I tell her trivial stuff. She tells me deep things. Fears, dreams and opinions. I am always willing to share my opinion, but fears are most definitely off-limits. We debate sometimes, but it never turns into an argument. We talk about how the government should be run. How technology will continue to change the world. How our world is fucked with greedy white men in power not giving a shit about the dying world. How magic is developing and the potential of the future. How women still often face horrible discrimination. How racism is still disturbingly present throughout the world. 

And I know Josie is surprised with my ability to rally with her. To not only be able to keep up with intelligent conversation but to be genuinely interested in it. I try not to take her underestimation of me as an insult, but really I can’t blame her. My friends tend to talk about meaningless and mindless things like who is fucking who, or who cheated on who. I do feel proud that I have surprised her, keeping her responsive to me. Being able to spend days together without getting bored with me. 

I grow more comfortable with her by the day. I share my favourite music with her, showing her more of Smokey, while she shows me her favourite books and poems. It’s surprising how intimate it is, sharing your likes. With each new piece of literature, Josie shows me, I understand her better, falling for each new part of her she is willing to show me. I have yet to find a part that I dislike. 

We talk about stupid stuff too. I goof around with her, which is something I really never do. I tell her lame jokes to make her smile or make funny faces to watch her eyes shimmer in amusement. And I am constantly touching her, and I don’t just mean sexually. I never really thought of myself as a touch starved person. I could go months without any true physical contact from anyone and not even bat an eye. Now, I feel like I can’t get enough of her. I want to be next to her all the time. And being next to her isn’t even enough. I was to have my hands all over her. Holding her hand, hugging her, leaning my head on her shoulder, brushing our shoulders together. I crave all of that. 

And what scares me is I feel so different. I feel things that I honestly thought I would never feel. I never thought I would be able to care for someone greater than I care for myself. I feel like Josie is a part of me now. Our souls feel intertwined.   
She’s my yin to my yang and all the sappy shit. 

Love songs that I used to hate start making sense. Movies that I thought were cheesy and unrealistic started being recognizable. These feelings of love, connection and adoration that every talks about. Well fuck. I understand it. 

I understand that shit because I am living it. Feeling it. 

And fuck. It’s terrifying in the best way. 

If I had to describe how you know your feeling a type of way about someone. I would probably say that you want to spend all your time with that person. You would skip a test to just sit with that person. Just even sit in silence and be in the same room. To be consumed. To be whole. First thought when I go to bed and wake up is now her. 

I don’t forget though. It’s just nice to have positive things to think about. 

And Josie is everything positive. 

We haven’t been on a true date since our first one, but we are currently trying to plan one. Hopefully on Saturday. Josie keeps saying that she wants to take me out, but I keep fighting that I want to. 

I want to pick her up at her door with a horrible bouquet of flowers. I want to try and woo her with my smirks and cheesy lines. I want to open the door for her, pull her chair out for her. I want to be a romantic cliche with her. 

But of course. Jojo is all about fairness, so she uses the fact that I already took her out as her excuse. And I mean fair. It makes sense. And maybe, just maybe, I will let her take me out. But she doesn’t have to prove anything to me or try and woo me. 

She already has me. She has all of me. 

And it’s quick I know. Foolish my mother would probably say, maybe even idiotic. 

But I don’t fucking care. 

I am so tired of caring, and now I can just feel. I can be present in a moment. I can sit back, close my eyes and be completely content with where I am. 

And holy fuck does that feel good. 

It feels like my life has lead to this. The pain and the numbness almost seem worth it.  
It has been a long time since I have had my person. By that I mean someone I can call every night. Someone who I can tell my thoughts to, and how every aspect of my day went and they actually care. I haven’t had that in so long. 

And I think as humans we need that. We need someone in our corner always. And it doesn’t have to be romantic or family. It is just a connection between souls that is so weaved together that you feel whole. 

You don’t have longingness because you have found what was lost. You aren’t lonely. 

You have someone now. Someone you care deeply about. 

And I think that may be the purpose of life. Connecting with others in this way. Finding this pull towards others. Finding this mutual attraction that is bound to just bring you closer to the other. You just know this person is meant to be important to you. You would find this person in any universe or multiverse. You were meant to meet, to connect. 

It is so beyond a crush or infatuation that I am unsure there is a world in the English dictionary to describe it. 

Love does not seem to do it. It doesn’t seem like the right word. Doesn’t seem strong, deep or heavy enough. It’s passed around too lightly. It’s something heavier. Something that you are always aware of. Not something you can brush off and forget. 

Love is different I think. 

But what do I know? 

Not fucking much. 

So other than getting absorbed by Josette Saltzman, I have been hanging out with Hope and MG more. 

Hope told MG about her and Lizzie. Of course, MG being the great guy he is took it like a champ. He seems genuinely happy for Hope. He seems to understand that it was merely a crush. Infatuation. Something that is light and can be forgotten. A feeling that can be detached. 

But I will tell you something. 

I am not happy for Hope. I am very unhappy in fact. 

In Lizzie like fashion, she instantly went back to fucking other guys. And it was no secret at all. Hope again looking confused and hurt continues to chase someone who just keeps running and running. 

And I have no idea how the fuck she isn’t tired yet. Tribrid stamina I am sure. 

But I guess I really underestimate her patience. And the control she has over her wolf. 

I know that wolves are very territorial, and at times possessive. It’s their natural instinct. So I really have no idea how Hope fucks Lizzie while her neck is littered with numerous hickies from various guys. I don’t even know if a regular human could handle that.

Hope claims she’s okay with the no strings attached thing. However, she’s not quiet about wanting more. I know it, Josie knows it and I know for a fact Lizzie knows it. Hope tells me she talks to Lizzie about it. How she wants more. And how Lizzie avoids the topic, talking about the now and living in the present. 

Yeah, all that stringing someone along bullshit. It’s dirty as hell, and cruel, even by standards. 

That is why I didn’t have constant fuck buddies. I knew that people harboured deep feelings for me, and sure I would sleep with them anyway, but I wouldn’t string them along. They knew exactly what they were getting when we would have sex. Sex and then nothing. No dates, no hanging out, no talking, no texting. None of that crap. 

I am growing very fucking tired of seeing my friend get hurt. And maybe I can start seeing the cracks in Hope. The frustration that comes out when fighting a monster, adding a perhaps cheap shot here and there. Sparring with my a little too rough. Going for runs way more often. Snapping at others easily, myself included.

I can tell it’s building. The rejection she feels. The hurt. She just keeps shoving it under the rug but it will blow up soon. 

A tribrid can only be so patient. 

And for fuck sakes, I can only be so patient. I feel like pulling hair whenever I see Hope uselessly pinning over Lizzie. And if it were any other situation I would have totally said something by now. Make a scene and embarrass Lizzie in some way. Maybe tell Hope to go fuck someone else, giving Lizzie a taste of her own medicine. 

But there is Josie. And I really don’t want to fuck that up. And honestly, Hope is acting mature as fuck. And being petty and childish will add nothing. I am starting to learn that from just watching Hope. 

I would not use the word role model. I would never ever call Hope that. But I would say I am learning. Or at least trying to. 

She is an impressive woman. I will give her that. 

But it is honestly painful to watch. Hope deserves so much more than that. So much more than Lizzie Saltzman. 

God damn Lizzie Saltzman. 

All that she has done is make my life harder. 

Like right now. It is Stallions’ first away game, so of course, I decided to go to see Jojo. 

I even thought about asking to wear a spare jersey but that’s way too cheesy and I am not lucky enough for my life to be a Rom-Com. 

So, I go to sit next to Josie, wanting to spend as much time as I can with her. And stupid Lizzie had to legit nudge past me on the bus, practically shoving me aside and stealing my spot. Right next to Josie. 

I stand in silence, trying my best not to hex Lizzie right then and there, but Josie is giving me a pleading look. I know she doesn’t want me to escalate the situation. She wants me to be the bigger person, which right now, is really fucking hard.

The best I can manage is crossing my arms and throwing daggers at Lizzie with my eyes. In response, she rolls her eyes, sighing dramatically. 

“You just going to stand there all day Satan?” She quips. 

Holy. Fuck. 

I am going to snap. I am going to lose my fucking mind. 

If this was anyone else, they would be thrown off the bus. There would be a scene. Probably a fight that I would for sure win. Maybe physical, but for sure verbal. I know how to hurt Lizzie. 

But it has to be Josie’s twin. Her evil twin. 

“Lizzie!” Josie hisses, shoving her elbow into her twin’s side. 

Jojo sends a pointed look to her sister, and her eyes fall onto me and they immediately soften. I am sure mine do the exact same, but luckily, Lizzie is too busy focuses on her hurt side than either of us. 

“First of all, you almost injured your own QB1. It’s like you don’t even want to win.” She huffs, rubbing her ribs, acting as if Josie hurt her. 

Josie with blazing eyes focuses back on her sister, “Maybe that’s because I don’t want to win. We are supposed to lose.” 

Josie seems annoyed, and I am just glad it isn’t directed at me. And I am pretty content that Lizzie is on the receiving end of Josie’s wrath. 

It’s kinda funny, but I make sure my face doesn’t display the pure entertainment and enjoyment I am feeling right now. 

“That’s beside the point. Now let me start with where I was before you rudely interrupted me. Secondly, you spend all your time with the evil temptress, it’s like you sold your soul to her or something. Is it so bad I want a little twin time?” 

Holy fuck. Now she is trying to make Josie feel guilty. I have met some fucked up people in my life. Hell, I would even consider myself pretty fucked up. But Lizzie. Well, Lizzie is in her own fucking league. 

Who the fuck is rude to Josie. 

Unfortunately, Josie seems to actually consider her sister’s words. I can tell she is cracking. Or just fucking tired of fighting with Lizzie and knows how easy it will be to just give Lizzie her way. 

Josie really has to start standing up for herself. I find it quite sad to watch her get walked over. And I am sure she would preach how it’s just easier that way, and that she doesn’t like conflict, but I can tell with each time she backs down to Lizzie, it chips away at her. 

It seems that everyone has tons of patience, but I know that they will explode soon. And with what Jojo told me with her pull towards dark magic, it’s not the best to just let things build up.

Josie turns her attention back towards me, looking sympathetic, appreciative and sweet as ever. “Pen, I can sit with you on the way back.” 

Her eyes are pleading, and I know I will get a lot more words from her after Lizzie leaves. 

I sigh, knowing that this is not my fight to pick, “Okay Jojo.” 

And just when I go to turn and probably sit next to Hope, she calls me to wait. 

She leans over Lizzie, much to her shock, and pulls on my arm, making me lean down. Leaning over her own twin, Josie brings my mouth down on hers, pressing our lips together in a sweet but short kiss. 

Lizzie practically pulls Josie back to her seat, whining and complaining about how gross that was, and how inappropriate or something. 

Honestly, I don’t what any of it. 

I am just a little awestruck still by the kiss. And by the fact that Josie leaned over Lizzie and kiss me. 

What a great way to give a metaphorical middle finger to her own sister. 

God. Josie is great. 

With a dumb and lazy smile on my lips, I wink at Josie before finally heading back to Hope. 

I plop myself down on the seat with a lovesick and dazed look on my face. Hope gives me a knowing smirk. 

Usually, I would tell her to shut up. But I am in too good of a mood. 

“I know,” I whisper. 

\---------------------------------

It’s halftime and there is no surprise that the Stallions are losing. They are doing a good job of looking like they are trying. Josie is the center, which I used to think was distracting, and now that I am dating her, it’s even beyond that. 

It’s all I can focus on. I honestly wouldn’t know who was winning without Hope updating me after every score. 

Every time they are on offence, Josie is bent over in those sinfully short blue shorts. I always loved how Josie looked in her uniform. 

I might just have her wear it later tonight too. 

Oh, and to make matters even worse, she has a thin layer of sweat on her and her face is flushed in a way that I commonly see. 

It’s just a lot. 

So when Josie asks me to catch a couple of her snaps, I just answer yes. Not thinking of the consequences. 

Josie directs me to stand around 10 yards away from her on the sideliens. Josie grabs the spare ball, and of course, bends over. 

My mind shuts off. My mind doesn’t process what’s happening. The words that are coming out of Josie’s mouth or the words I am using to respond. 

I am distracted and very aroused. So, my reflexes are for sure delayed. 

And I don’t see the ball coming until it hits me in the face. 

Fuck. 

That hurt. 

Before I know what’s happening, Josie, she’s holding my face, looking guilty as ever. 

“Pen. I am so sorry. Oh god, are you okay? You said okay when I asked if you were ready. Did I throw it too hard?” She rambles, grabbing my chin and tilting my head upwards. 

The pain is still present but it’s a lot less when her soft fingers are softly touching my face. 

Before I can answer, Josie swears, “Shit. I think your nose is bleeding.” 

“Do you have a nose bleed kink or something?” I tease because this is Josie’s second time giving me a bloody nose. I feel like that means something. 

I mean, I am at fault for both of them, but still. It’s funny. 

Josie seems too concerned to even care about my joke. It instantly takes me back to the first time she cranked my nose. This time, the touch is gentler, her eyes are softer and her voice is calming. 

It’s exactly how I wanted it to go the first time around. This is beyond normal concern. She cares for me. It’s obvious now. 

“I should take you to the nurse.” She seems to be saying to herself mostly. 

I grab her hands from my face, interlocking them with mine and pulling her closer, attempting to make her present in the moment and listen to me. 

“You have a game to get back to. And it’s just a bloody nose.” I prove my point by wiping the blood with the back of my hand. 

There is less blood this time but there is still quite a lot. 

Josie doesn’t seem convinced so I continue, “Hope can just take me. And in no time I’ll be back and cheering you on. And then we can sit together on the bus and you can shower me with tender loving care.” I attempt to joke again. 

This one earns me a slight uptick in the corner of her pouty mouth, and I chalk that one up as a win. 

“Okay?” I ask, searching for the acceptance in her eyes. 

She bites her lip, thinking for a moment before nodding. Without thinking I lean in to give her a peck on the lips. She was biting them not even a second ago, so I think it’s fair to have this reaction. 

I am stopped by a hand on my shoulder. “After you get cleaned up.” She points to my bloody nose. 

Oh yeah. That. 

She gives me one last squeeze on the hand and a rush apology before she is called back to her team. 

I turned around and found that a lot of people seemed to be watching the interaction. Probably wondering why Penelope Park would be so calm when someone legitimately just made her bleed. 

I am a changed woman. What can I say? 

I find Hope’s eyes in the crowd and wave for her to come down, lazily gesturing to my nose. 

She shoves through the crowd, and with one last longing look towards the Stallion’s QB and center, she and I walk towards the school. 

We walk somewhat aimlessly for a bit until we find a pretty girl in a Timberwolves uniform. Knowing that Hope will never start a conversation by choice with a stranger, I speak up. 

“Hey, do you know where the nurse's office is?” I politely ask, knowing how deep our rivalry between our schools is. If I ask the wrong way, she could give me the wrong directions or something. And I just really want to get this blood off my face so I can kiss Jojo.

The girl turns her attention to us, and maybe pretty was an understatement. She is hot. And I mean that in the most respectful and non-interested way. I can admire someone’s beauty, can’t I?

Her eyes land on me for a moment, looking at my blood-covered face. However, it’s Hope that her gaze lingers on. I have seen that face way too many times directed at me to not recognize it. She for sure is interested in Hope. 

Which is perfect. Hope needs someone else. Someone to show her that she is worth more and shouldn’t be treated like a sex toy. 

I also wouldn’t be surprised if a good lay got her off of Lizzie. So I decided that maybe I will play a little bit of a matchmaker.   
Her eyes trail back to me, clearing her throat and smoothly speaks, “Yeah, I can show you.” 

She seems cheerful and upbeat which is good. She can counter Hope’s shyness and brooding personality. Hope usually needs people like that to bring her out of her shell. 

I give Hope a chance to speak, but she just looks disinterested. God damn. Why do I have to do all the work?

“Thanks, that would be great. I’m Penelope by the way, and this is Hope.” I nod my head in the Tribrid’s direction. 

And Hope gives an awkward wave. God help this woman. 

Again, the girl eyes Hope, “I’m Maya.” She says mostly to Hope. 

I would probably be insulted by her somewhat ignoring me if I wasn’t trying to play cupid. 

“Lead the way,” I say with some energy in my voice. If this were any other situation, I would probably be rude or at least not polite. But Hope is my friend and I want her to be happy. And I really don’t see Lizzie doing that. But maybe Maya will. 

We walk a little bit behind Maya, and Hope tugs on my arm lightly, “Why are you being so nice?” She whispers.

I dramatically pull my arm from her grasp, “She’s cute.” I explain, which earns me a shocked expression. I also don’t miss the stutter in Hope’s walking. 

Oh. 

She probably took that wrong. 

I push her slightly, “Not for me you dumb wolf. I got Josie. I meant for you.” 

A might be a little hurt that she thought I was going to pursue Maya. I obviously wouldn’t do that to Josie. I like her way too much to even think about it. 

Hope looks like she wants to say something but Maya turns around, “How did you even get a bloody nose anyways? You’re not even a player.” 

Yeah. Not anymore. 

I mean I am wearing school colours, but it is very apparent I’m not wearing a football uniform. The skirt for sure cannot be mistaken for the blue shorts that Josie pulls off so well. 

And I guess that brings me to the answer. The reason why I have a bloody nose is Josie’s fucking shorts.

“Funny story actually. Josie, the center for our team, well she asked me to catch her snap. And I mean I know she looks great in those shorts trust me. But they were way more distracting than I originally thought. Next thing I know, I have a bloody nose.” 

Maya snorts at that, coming to a full stop and turning around fully. 

“Really?” She asked, clearly amused. 

I nod my head with a grin on my face. It’s pretty funny.

She giggles before turning back around, continuing to guide us. “Well, maybe I’ll have to take a look for myself at how distracting those shorts are.” She teases. I can tell there is no bite in her bark. She is just trying to be funny and make conversation. 

Both Hope and I laugh along with her, “Don’t even try it.” I jokingly warn. 

She throws up her hands in defence, “Don’t worry. I won’t go after your girlfriend.” 

And of course, I don’t correct her. I mean essentially that is what Josie is to me. We are dating. We are exclusive. And we are having sex. 

I mean, we pretty much check off all the boxes except the one where we have had a conversation about it. And maybe I will work up to it. But another label just puts more pressure. I really don’t need the added pressure. I already put so much on myself. Especially when it comes to Jojo and my relationship. 

I see Hope from the corner of my eye staring at me. Probably waiting for me to correct Maya. But I don’t. 

Maya leads us to the nurse’s office, and steps inside with us. 

“Don’t you have a game to be getting back to?” Hope asks, and I will give her props for not making it sound that rude. I mean, it wasn’t great. But with my Hope standards, I can’t help but be a little proud of my awkward tribrid for not sounding like a complete bitch.

Maya pulls up a chair in the office and slumps down. “Trust me, I would rather be here. Football is more my brother's thing.”

We make small talk for a while, talking about schools and friends we have in common, which are very few. Maya seems like a nice girl, outgoing and a little wild. And definitely into Hope. For sure something that would be good for Hope. Even if it is only one night. If Lizzie can fuck other people, Hope should too. It’s only fair. And it’s not even out of spite. It’s just logic. Lizzie has shown no sign of being serious with Hope.

Plus, there is nothing more than I want right now than I want Hope to get over Lizzie. I just don’t see it working out. I just don’t see it ending in anything other than heartbreak. And pain. 

Also, the more time Hope spends around Lizzie, the more time I will have to spend with her. Which is not ideal. 

So, I start getting a little frustrated when Hope isn’t putting on her Mikaelson charm. I mean, I think Hope could so anything and Maya would still be interested, but she doesn’t seem to care. Hope isn’t putting in the effort. She isn’t flirting back, and she doesn’t look interested. 

Fucking Hope. 

The nurse finally comes to check up on me, making sure my nose wasn’t broken. She prods and pokes, causing my only mild pain. She sends me off with a frown when I ask her if I can have a lollipop. 

So then, it’s me, Hope and Maya standing awkwardly in the hallway, unsure how to part ways. I ask for her snap, and make sure that Hope gives over her phone too. Maybe she isn’t interested right now, but she might be later. 

Maya waves us goodbye, leaving Hope and I alone in the school. 

“Why weren’t you interested in her.” I rush out when Maya is out of earshot. 

Hope rolls her eyes, walking back towards the direction of the field, “You know why.” 

That makes me want to roll my eyes too. Roll them a million times. 

“Hope. You have to move on.” I practically beg. 

Hope stops in her tracks turning to me quickly, looking agitated, “Look. I don’t have to do anything. I fucking really like Lizzie and that’s how it is. I can’t move on and honestly, I don’t want to. To leave it be.” Her voice is a harsh whisper. 

For god’s sake. 

It’s weird to see such a powerful and strong creature like Hope be so weakened by love. It’s just really odd. 

I shake my head and let out a frustrated huff, knowing that continuing this conversation will only cause a fight that I don’t want to deal with right now. 

We reach the field, and the game still seems to be going fine. I don’t miss the way Josie’s eyes light up when she sees me sit back in the stands. Once she’s off the field I give her a thumbs up to tell her I’m fine. She mouths ‘I’m sorry’ and I let out a girlish giggle at that. 

Josie is just as distracting as she was in the first half. I don’t even care who is winning at this point. I just watch Josie. Watch Josie snap the ball and run her routes over and over again. Or watch her play defense with intense eyes as she scans the field. It’s hot and intriguing to see her in such a zone, even if she is trying to lose. She has this same hunger or focus when she is doing spells. It’s powerful. 

The game ends and the teams shake hands, and fortunately, there are no angry words thrown towards either team. It seems civil. And as if I even have to mention that the Stallions lost. 

After a short team meeting, Jojo runs over to me, looking flushed from the exertion of energy. 

She almost crashes into me, cradling my face in her hands while her eyes frantically move across my nose. 

“You’re okay?” She asks.

I just nod my head because I don’t know if my words would come out strong, or come out at all. It’s time like this that it all hits me. That I, Penelope Park am dating Josie Saltzman. My literal dream girl. 

Josie is running to me after the game, making sure that I am okay. It just feels really good and warm. 

And I know that my reputation as a stone cold head witch has significantly been damaged since being with Josie but I could hardly care less. I do not give a single fuck that I am getting babied by Josie practically in the middle of the field. 

She pecks me softly on the lips before apologizing again, which I just give a quick shake of my head and go into for another kiss because how could I not. 

The team walks back to the bus and this time I get to sit with Josie. I feel like a dog with a bone. And Hope and Lizzie sit together, which Hope seems very happy about. I can see that Lizzie’s smile is a little brighter as soon as she sits next to Hope. 

Josie looks tired, probably drained from playing and from keeping all these supernaturals in check. She really is a leader on the team, and not only is it something I admire, but I can see everyone else does too. They all respect her. As they should.

Josie interlocks our fingers and rests her head on my shoulder. Before Josie I never was in a relationship where PDA was really practiced. After the accident, my parents stopped giving me caring touches. Stopped hugging me or holding my hand. Or saying the words that every kids needs to hear from their parents. And I wanted to tell myself it was because I grew up, and that is just childish stuff, but I know it’s not. So this PDA, kisses, touches, handholding, cuddling, it’s all new to me in a sense. And I am a very prickly person, so I am sure I am not the only one that’s a little shocked that a cactus likes to cuddle, or at least someone wants to get close to a cactus. 

But Josie is different from everyone else. She opens me up in ways I couldn’t imagine. She makes me want to write songs or poems. She makes me want to write her little love notes. Do all that sappy stupid shit. 

“I’m sorry,” Josie whispers. 

This might be the 30th time I have heard that from her today. 

I place a soft kiss on her forehead, “It’s just a little blood, Jojo. I’m fine.” 

She shifts on my shoulder, turning so she can look up at my face. “I’m sorry about that too. But I meant with Lizzie. Sorry for kicking you out of your seat.”

Oh. 

That’s what she meant. 

“That’s okay too. I understand.” I hush down to her. 

She still doesn’t seem pleased or convinced that it truly is okay. So I decided to lighten the mood, “Well, I get to sit next to you on the ride back. And poor Lizzie is stuck with the lovesick puppy.” I gesture to Hope, who of course is making obvious heart eyes at Lizzie. 

She giggles for a bit before signing and fully resting her head against my shoulder again. “Thank you. For being the bigger person and not starting a fight. I know she was asking for it.”

It feels really good to hear this from Josie. It’s like when you used to get gold stars in class if you were being a good student. It’s nice to get recognition every once in a while. That’s also something that my parents no longer give me. 

I press a final peck to Josie’s head, “Of course. Anything for you.” I rasp, feeling like the words are too deep, but I said them, and honestly, I don’t regret it. 

Josie must know at this point how lost I am within her. How deeply I care for her. How much she means to me, and how I would do anything to keep her happy. She must know that by now.

Josie’s head grows heavy on my shoulder, and I know she has fallen asleep. I rub my thumb along the back of her hand in a soothing pattern, hoping it will make her sleep a little more peaceful. I just lean into Josie, enjoying her soft breathing and the smell of her shampoo. 

The bus ride is too short for my liking, and I feel like a bit of a monster when I wake Josie up. With a slightly swollen face meaning an extra pouty face as well, I guide Josie to my room as she answers questions I ask her about the game. 

“You can shower here, and change into my clothes.” I offer, really wanting a lazy day in bed with Josie. I just want to be close to her. 

“I’d like that.” She sweetly smiles. 

Just before she goes to shut the bathroom door, an idea comes to mind, “I can give you a massage after. I know your back can get sore from snapping the ball.” 

Josie hesitates and turns to me, “Really?” She looks almost gleeful, but I can see the danger that lurks underneath her soft eyes. 

An instinctive smile splits my face as I respond, “Yeah.” 

She scurries off the bathroom, shutting the door behind her, looking mighty pleased with herself. 

When I hear the shower turn on, I look around my room for the scented oils and creams. It takes me a while to find all of them, as they are messily scattered throughout the room in no particular manner. 

I can’t remember the last time I used these. 

I find a towel lying around, placing it down on my bed. I also rearrange some of the pillows, so she will be most comfortable. I am too busy and occupied with making this perfect, that I don’t hear the shower turn off. I must not even hear the door to the bathroom open. The only thing that breaks my focus in Josie. 

It’s always Josie. 

“Pen?” I hear a tentative voice. 

I turn to find a cleaned Josie only wearing a towel. Her hair clings to her face, defining her soft features. Beads of water drip from her hair down her chest, falling below the hem of the towel, down the curve of her breast. Her lips are parted slightly, her eyes relaxed but underlined with mischief like she knows the exact effect she has on me. How she can turn me into a puddle with just one look at her. 

“Are you still going to give me the massage?” Her voice has actual wonder in it, but she should know I would never promise her anything and just take it away. Not to her. Not to my Josie. 

And looking at her, I realize that maybe this massage thing wasn’t the best idea. I might explode before I even get my hands on her bare skin. 

This will be torture for me, I know it and I think she knows it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. The next chapter will prob be painful. It was supposed to happen this chapter but it got too long. Anyways, the next chapter will have some smut to soften the blow, but it will get rough.


	30. Trigger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some very detailed smut at the beginning, and then the shit hits the fan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. Had the first 3/4 of the chapters done for a really long time, just had a hard time finishing

I clear my throat, before speaking, “Umm, you can lie down here,” I gesture to the makeshift spa bed.

Josie looks thankful and a little shy as she shuffles towards the bed, gripping on to the hem of the white towel tightly wrapped around her. She stands in front of the bed, looking a little lost, and she turns to me suddenly. 

“How do you want me?” She asks innocently, obviously not thinking about the repercussions of her words. 

I give her my signature smirk after her question, and I love that her face blushes almost immediately after. After the blush dies down, she lightly pushes me, “Shut up. That’s not how I meant it.” 

My smile doesn’t die, as I tease, “You sure?” 

She huffs in fake annoyance, “Pen” She cutely whines. 

I decide to be nice and give her a break, “Okay okay. Just lie down, and you can put the towel on your,” I gesture to her legs, “lower half.” 

Josie nods and begins to move. I think that she must have used magic because she manages to lie down on the bed with the towel draped over her butt without me being able to see anything. Logistically I don’t know how it makes sense, especially because it wasn’t like I was trying not to look. All I could see was her smooth back, painted with a faint but defined layer of muscle. 

Now, laying in my bed, her back bare and her hair splayed across her flawless skin, I feel like we are in our own bubble. And these moments are my favourite. Moments where it’s just me and her, and I can be truly myself. I feel most comfortable. I feel free. 

Once she looks comfortable, I carefully straddle her covered half. Careful to not actually sit down on her, leaving space between us. It’s not that I don’t want that contact. It’s that I know how this will end. This will end in sex, and I am in the perfect position to lead it. To tease her slowly and painfully. And that is exactly what I want to do. So less contact with a gradual but slow increase is how I am going to do it. 

Still making as little contact as possible, I lean over to grab the oil. 

I lean down, moving Josie's hair to one side and out of the way. “Ready Jojo?” I whisper close to her ear. She takes a sharp inhale, causes me to let out a low chuckle as I move back to my original position. 

“Yes.” She breathlessly says, already sounding very affected. 

With her consent, I slowly pour the oil on her back, causing her to arch slightly. I probably should have warmed them up. Next time. 

Learning from my first mistake, I rub my hands together so they are warm. Once I am content with the temperature, I plan my hand’s open palm on her back. I softly rub in the oils, running my hands down towards the towel and up towards the nape of her neck. 

She hums at the contact. 

I put more pressure on my hands. Feeling her sore muscles under my hands, I dig harder into knots. There is a particularly bad one on her right shoulder. I press my fingers firmly into the knot, kneading it. Which of course makes Josie release an obscene moan. Pornographic really. And with that, I decide it is time to sit down on her upper thighs, finally making some form of contact. I can feel her push up into me for a second, shifting her hips, before settling down and relaxing. 

I work even harder at the knot, pulling more groans from Josie. I even get a “God” and a moan of “Penelope” that makes me press harder into her. It’s just my natural reaction. So you can’t blame me if my hips drive down a bit. Especially when she is tensing like that underneath me.

Once I am content that the knot has lessened significantly, I move on to other parts of her back, being more gentle this time. More sensual. I make sure to drag my nails across her skin as I move along it, satisfied by the faint red marks it leaves. Josie also seems satisfied if her back relaxing and soft moans are anything to go by. 

I make sure to lightly touch her slides. Not too light that it is ticklish but light enough to create goosebumps. I make sure to go extra slow around the sides of her breasts, picturing her nipples hardening as I rake my nails down the pillowing skin. Josie gasps at that, driving her ass up into me. Being not subtle at all. And that’s the part I love. When she is so desperate that she can’t even hide it. 

I am sure that if I were a werewolf or vamp I could probably smell her desperation. Her arousal would fill the room. If I could get closer to her, I am sure my regular witch nose could smell it. 

Fuck.

Just the thought of her being wet and she is only one layer away from me is driving me mad. Her gasps and moans aren’t helping either. 

I start moving my hands lower, to the curve of her lower back. I press my thumbs deep there, and she curves her body. I only stay there for a little longer before drifting down, slipping my fingertips just under the towel. 

“This okay?” I ask, voice sounding beyond rough.   
Josie just hums, showcasing her approval but I don’t let that be enough. I want to hear her say it. 

“What was that?” I ask.

Josie stiffens for a moment, “Yes,” She gulps, “It’s okay.” 

If she is trying to sound unaffected she is doing a shit job. I bet I didn’t sound any better though. 

Slowly lifting the towel, I shuffle back further on Josie’s legs, taking the towel with me. Exposing her more and more. 

Jesus. 

She is so soft and perfect. Fuck. 

I run my nails down the slope of her ass, then I knead the soft plump skin there. Her moans that used to have a hint of sex are now completely laced within it. 

The innocence has drowned and lust has emerged.

There is no hiding it at this point.

I lean my body forward, bringing my mouth to the middle of her back, placing soft kisses there as my hands continue to grope her perfect ass. My kisses start turning into scraping of the teeth and little love bites. 

“Penelope.” She groans out. Almost pleading. 

I sit back on her calves while my hands continue their work. “What is it, Jojo?” I tease by attempting to sound innocent. But I think I am too far gone to fake it. 

She grinds her hips into the mattress, hoping to seek some friction when she pleas. “Touch me please.” 

Fuck. 

It is so hard to say no. So hard to not bring my finger lower, running them through her soaking folds. 

But I want her to wait. I want her to become even more needy and desperate.

“Patience.” 

She lets out a large exhale, attempting to compose herself as my hands continue their diligent work. I move even farther down, spreading her open for me. 

And I see all of her. All wet, all wanting. She glistens in the light, begging to be touched. 

She is so fucking pretty. 

“Fuck Jo.” I gasp, as I spread her even more. She tips her hips, giving me even more of a view. Begging me to take her. 

It takes a lot of self-control to move to her upper thigh. Leading with my thumbs, coming so close to where she needs me. Where I need to be. 

Her skin is so soft, and my hands almost don’t feel worthy to touch it. 

I do this a few times, even though I am probably dying just as much as Josie, who is slowly rocking her hips forward with every movement. I also notice that her hands are now gripping the sheets. She’s growing needier and needier. Her body's calling for contact.

I move to her other thigh, giving it the same attention. I make sure to get closer and closer to her soaking center. I get so close I can feel her arousal. Sweet and sticky on my fingers as I tease her sensitive skin. 

She looks like she is losing it. Her hips are digging into the mattress. She is letting out the neediest whimpers. She is trying to keep control though. Be patient like I told her to be. I love it when she listens to me. So obedient. 

She is trying to be so good, I have to reward her. 

I run my finger lightly through her folds, finding them drenched in her arousal. 

“Oh god.” She cries, happy to finally feel me. Feel me against her where she wants me. 

I bite my lip hard at the feeling of her under my fingertips. I try not to make any noise so I can just hear her. I’m too worried one of my groans will cover up her moans. I can’t miss even a single one. 

I run my index through her again, making sure to slightly nudge her swollen clit with my fingers. Even with her hips tilted back, I don’t have the full view or mobility that I was. I quickly take my hands off her, which earns me a whine. 

So fucking needy for me. 

All for me.   
I lean over and reach for the closest pillow. I get into my original position, but the hand that isn’t holding the pillow is gripping on to Josie’s bare hip. 

I tug slightly up, “Up.” I instruct her, which she instantly does, lifting her ass up, giving me a great view. 

I slide the pillow under her, making her comfortable before leaning fully forward, pressing my body completely against her. I bring my face next to hers and whisper, “That’s my good girl.” 

The reaction is immediate. She bucks back into me, whining out a quiet, “Pen.” 

And I mean. How I am supposed to stay still after that. I am only human, so my hips rock down into her. Her neck is just a mere inch away, begging to be marked. So I close the distance, pressing hard kisses to her neck. I am unaware that my hips continue their hard grind until Jojo pushes back into me hard. 

Fuck. 

I quickly slide on my legs between hers, instantly feeling her wet pussy against the skin on my thigh. Thank god for skirts. 

We both let out strings of swear words at the new friction. With the angle of her hips and the placement of our legs, I feel much-needed pressure on my center. So I shamelessly start a torturous grind on Josie’s butt, gliding my thigh along her slick center. 

The contact is everything but not enough at the same time. It’s so good but I need so much more I could almost cry. I know Josie is in the same boat by the sounds leaving her pouty lips and her body meeting me with every movement. 

I finally leave her neck alone once it’s marked up enough for my liking, and I lightly bite on her earlobe, giving it a tug before rasping, “Tell me what you want Jojo.” 

Her breaths are so heavy she struggles to speak, “Touch me. Please.” 

I place a chaste kiss on her cheek, far too innocent for the current and future moment. “Of course.”

And with that, I sadly remove my body from hers, sitting back. I spread her again, showing that her wetness has now spread a farther distance. Her folds glisten in the light, daring to be touched. 

I bring my fingers through her folds, gather up the wetness and circle her clit. She is so sensitive that the first true touch to her bundle of nerves has her bucking against me. 

Knowing that she is close, I move down to her entrance, teasing my fingers around the opening. Placing just my fingertip in, feeling her clench. 

I easily slide two fingers in her, starting at an easy pace. She seems restless and she pushes back into my hand. Practically fucking herself on my fingers. And I let it happen. Of course. I watch as her desperation pushes herself to practically use me as a toy. Fuck herself. Rocking herself forward and back. 

The only true encouragement I give are groans and the curling of my finger, finding that spot that I know makes her see stars. 

“Fuck Jojo. You feel so good.” I will not get over the feeling of her smooth walls fluttering against my fingers. At least not anytime soon. 

Her own pace begins to lose its rhythm, and I know she is close to coming. With her erratic pace, I start pumping again. Fast and hard. 

That’s what always pushes her over the edge the quickest and makes her have the most intense orgasms. 

With just a few pumps and perfectly curled fingers, Josie arches her back, gripping on the sheets so hard, her knuckles whiten. She tightens around me, pulsing until she finally relaxes. 

I carefully flip her somewhat limp body over, so I can see her face. 

She looks royally fucked. Just the way I like it. Her face is flushed and she pants as she tries to slow her shallow and quick breaths. 

I lean over her, pushing a stray strand of hair out of her face, “You okay baby?” 

Josie gives a lazy nod at that, and her smile is just so precious. I press light kisses around her face. Starting with each cheek, her forehead, her chin, her nose and finally her lips. 

I lie down beside her, pulling her to my side, and she snuggles deeper into me. 

“You did so well, Jojo. So good for me.” I praise as I rake my fingers through her still wet hair. 

She preens at that. She always does. She loves being praised during and after sex. And fuck it, I love praising her so it works perfectly. 

We lie there, attempting to slow our breaths. I am finally relaxed when Jojo starts running her fingers between my crop top and my skirt. Then my breathing isn’t so calm anymore. 

Her nails scratch down my stomach.   
“You are still fully clothed.” She points out. I am in the exact outfit I was in during her game. 

She plays with the colour of my shirt, pulling back slightly to get a better look.

“Shit. There’s some blood on it.” She tugs at the spot that must have gotten dripped up during my bloody nose. 

Josie still looks very guilty and upset. Her bottom lip juts out as she investigates my shirt, making sure there are no other reminisce of the accident that happened on the sidelines. 

“Hey,” I gently tug on her chin to look at me, “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

She brings up her hand to my face, gently caressing it, which I lean into. “I know,” She whispers before playing an apologetic kiss to my nose.

A bloody nose is nothing. Especially here. Students have died. Have gotten hurt and injured. Hell, I have had quite a few run-ins with death myself. I have broken a couple of bones sparring or fighting monsters, but nothing too serious. To me, and to everyone else, well, everyone excluding Josie, a bloody nose nothing. I assume she feels bad because she gave it to me. 

I know I would be upset with myself if I hurt her in any way. I am just worried about her reaction if I actually do get hurt. And fuck, I know that I would go mental if Josie got seriously hurt too. But I guess that is the risk of caring for someone. You hope it’s worth the fear and pain of them being hurt or losing them. 

And loss hurts a fuck ton. Especially when you had a part to play in that said loss.

“I can’t believe that this is the second time I gave you a bloody nose.” She shakes her head. 

I grin at her, “I get them easily so don’t worry. But I don’t know if I’ll be this forgiving if you give me a third.” 

Josie giggles at that, falling back into me. 

“Thank you for coming to my game,” She says as she fiddles with the zipper of my shirt. 

It was barely a discussion when I told her I would come to her game. She talked about when her game was, in casual passing. She was saying it almost as if to explain why she would be absent for a while. She didn’t even stop and think for a second I would care to go. She didn’t offer or try to bait me in any way. 

It makes me think that Raf probably never went to many of her games, or maybe went to none. I think that showing up for a person you care deeply about for an event they are passionate about should be expected. It shouldn’t be thanked. It should be normal. 

It’s not like I am a good girlfriend or whatever for going. It’s average. It’s the bare minimum really. 

“Anytime, really. I enjoyed seeing you play, even if it meant a hurt nose.” 

She kisses me hard on the lips, and I attempt to match her fast tempo. Her tongue enters my mouth, pressing against mine. She rolls onto me fully, straddling me. 

Completely naked. 

Meanwhile. I am still fully closed and deeply regretting that choice because I need to feel her skin on mine. I need to feel all of her. 

Josie seems to have the same idea as she tugs the zipper of my shirt down, shoving it off my shoulders to reveal a somewhat sexy sports bra. Josie almost looks offended by the material, gripping the bottom between her fingers and tugging hard upwards. 

She struggles to get it over my head and out of the way, so I lightly push her back and do it myself. As soon as it's out of the way, her lips attach to my tits, desperately biting and licking.

I wrap my hand in her damp hair, pushing her closer to me when she takes a nipple in her mouth. She teases it with her tongue, biting down softly. She must be too eager to give the other the same treatment as she placed rushed kisses down my stomach until she reached my skirt. 

With a hard and quick pull, she manages to get both my skirt and panties off, now levelling the playing field. She looks at my new exposed center almost longingly before she moves back up to my face. 

“You are so good to me Pen.” She explains in an almost awe like fashion, eyes scanning every part of my face. 

And I don’t know how I am looking at her at this moment but she seems to be pleased as she presses her lips sweetly against mine. I don’t know how my face looks, but I know how I feel. Safe. Protected. Loved. Cared for. Content. Overjoyed. Admired. 

Fuck, I feel a lot of things. 

All mushy soft shit that tells me she isn’t going to fuck me. She isn’t going to take me roughly or make me beg. She is going to take me gently. She is going to care for me. 

Somewhere between the sweet kisses, she slips her hand between my legs to find me already very much turned on. We both groan at the contact but keeps our lips in the slow tango that she has started. 

With slow curls and easy pumps, she moves her skilled fingers. She knows what I like. She knows all my spots now. She knows me completely. 

She pulls back for a moment, continuing her soft thrusts as she brings her thumb to my clit, rubbing tight slow circles. She presses her forehead against mine, eyes searching mine. Staring. Calling for me to bare myself completely. To open my soul to her. 

And she truly is an angel. So I must agree. I must put my heart and soul out on display. I must let emotions flood my eyes and pour into hers. I must give her my heart. 

I am open. I am letting her have all of me. 

Her soft brown eyes speak deeper than words could ever. Each speck, each change of colour I memorize. I memorize the way her eyes blow wide as I let out small gasps as she continues her loving pace. I memorize the openness she is also giving to me. I memorize the slight focus she has, keeping up her rhythm. I memorize how she is looking at me. 

Like she loves me. 

And my eyes mirror hers. I know it. And she knows it.

The words have been said without a word spoken. We know. 

And with those words on the tip of my tongue, I come. I completely fall into Josie. 

My cry is silent, and no sound leaves my mouth. No words. Not the three words that I would have said. Should have and could have. No. 

I could blame it on the timing of the orgasm for not being able to get out the words. But I know that’s a sad excuse. Because it wasn’t the orgasm. It is the fear. The fear of being rejected. The fear of it being too fast. The fear of reading the situation wrong. 

Just a fuck ton of fear. 

And it’s not like I couldn’t say it right now. Right now, Josie laying naked on top of me, mindlessly stroking my arm. It could be the right time. I know how I feel. I am sure of the feeling. That is not the issue. 

The fucking problem is I am a coward. Especially when it comes to being vulnerable and when it comes to feelings. Especially when it's a new feeling as strong as this one.   
My hand rubs circles into Josie's back as I hope that the unspoken connection is enough. That one day I can say the words. That she will say it back and kiss me. 

I know that day will come. It will be soon. It is bound to slip out of me. It seems to be trying to jump out of my throat anytime I see her. I know if I was high or drunk it could slip out. Really fucking easy to. 

And maybe that’s the way it will happen. Me spilling it out when I can’t handle the weight of it in my throat anymore. Maybe I will blurt it out or shout it from the rooftops. Maybe I’ll say it when we are alone or in the middle of a fucking party. 

Maybe it will be romantic. Maybe it won’t. 

The only thing I am sure of is how I feel. I can say with the utmost confidence that my feelings are true. It's so far past infatuation and admiration. It’s so beyond how I feel about anyone else. 

It’s so strong and wonderful that there is no way this is not it. 

Because it is. I can feel it. I am sure of it. 

I fucking know I am deeply and madly in love with Josie Saltzman. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We lay in bed naked for a while before Josie complains about being too cold and changes into my clothes. I follow suit, grabbing one of Josie’s hoodies she lent me, or how she puts it, ‘that I stole.’

We watch some Netflix, do some homework and talk before the blissful peace comes to a halt. 

All because of a question. 

“Tell me about your family,” Josie asks, trying to play it off as a casual question but I know her better than that. I can see her looking at me from the slide of her eye as she snuggles into my chest. I know she knows the weight of that question. She has been baiting me a few times to open up about my family, but this is the first time she has directly asked.

I fall silent for a moment. Thinking to myself, ‘am I ready?’. 

It only takes me a second for my answer. No. I am not fucking ready. I am not going to ruin this. I am not going to spill my guts and make her look at me differently. Not when I am close to telling her how I feel. Not when I haven’t told anyone else. 

Not even Hope. And not even that fucking horrible shrink my parents forced me into seeing before giving up on me after one mere session. 

“There’s nothing to tell. I told you we aren’t close.” My voice is cold. Colder than it has ever sounded when I am talking to Jojo. My wall is up. I put on that mask that I am so used to wearing because doing that is a lot fucking easier than the other way. The truth. 

Josie tenses up at my tone, and of course, I feel bad. 

“Why?” She whispers like it’s such an easy question. 

“Because we aren’t.” My voice is sharp and calculated. Sounding a lot like the old Penelope. The Penelope I show others but never show Jojo. Well, until now. 

Josie pulls out of my chest, looking down on me with so much softness it almost makes me want to throw up. 

“You can talk to me. You know that?” She goes to place her hand on my cheek but I turn away.

Her eyes flash with hurt, and it’s almost enough to dissolve me. But it doesn’t. 

I don’t meet her eyes. I can’t. I just stare off in space. Composing myself. Willing myself not to snap or break. 

Be calm.

I can feel Josie analyzing my face, trying to find something. 

“Do you have any siblings?” 

Fuck. 

“Enough.” I pretty much growl at her. Anger rushing my face for her not dropping it. Anger mostly at myself for not being able to share the story. The pain. Mad at myself for not being strong enough to feel that pain again. 

Josie startles at my raised voice. But she doesn’t move. She just continues to stare down at me. Almost waiting for me to apologize or something. 

And I know that would be the right thing to do. But I am a dick, and I am learning. 

“Just drop it,” I explain in a much softer voice, almost pleading. Begging her to never bring it up again. Asking her to wait until I am ready. And the wall breaks enough. Enough to show Josie I am trying.  
She drops back into my chest, whispering a heartbreaking “I’m sorry.” 

And that fucking hurts. God that hurts. 

I plant a long kiss on her forehead, hoping my apology and gratitude comes across. But I know communication is key. But I don’t know if I am ready for a lot of words. I am not ready to even open that book yet, even if it will only be a page. 

I’m not strong enough for that yet. 

So instead of explaining my outburst, I just wrap my arms around her, squeezing her tight into my body, begging her to not leave me. 

“You mean so much to me. You have no idea.” I whisper into her hair, planting a kiss there too. 

She nuzzles into my neck, “Pen.” She breathes. Like a fucking prayer. 

“I know.” I choke out. 

And we lay there for what feels like forever. But there is this feeling in the bottom of my stomach. A feeling of dread. Knowing that this situation is fragile, and all it needs is a loose thread to unravel.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josie hasn't brought it up since that night. But since then she looks at me when we are alone like she is just waiting for me to tell her, and it’s driving me a little mad. It makes me feel like she expects me to tell her. Like I should tell her. 

Like I shouldn’t wait. 

And I am sure she isn't even aware she is doing it. Josie would never pressure me to talk. Never push me too far. She is much too caring for that.

And I can’t blame her for wondering. 

I just hope she is patient enough to wait for me. Or that I can be enough to keep her around long enough. 

But other than the hint of that look, we have been good. Today is our date day, and I allowed Josie to take me out. She begged me and pouted enough where I just gave up. 

She didn’t tell me much about the date, other than it’s later in the night. So today I have been antsy and excited for tonight. 

It’s Saturday so no school and luckily no monsters. There hasn’t been any for a while. 

But I spend most of the morning doing homework and trying to perfect a spell that I don’t seem to be able to master. And it’s frustrating. It is very rare I ever struggle in school. It comes very easy to me usually, and I have to put in minimal effort. But being with Josie, she has encouraged and pushed me to stay up to date on homework. To actually study for tests and actually do group projects, not just shove it on someone who is too scared to deny me. 

So when I keep working at this stupid spell and can’t do it. I get a little frustrated. Which is normal, but it leaves me a bit on edge. 

And if I didn’t have a date tonight, I would probably smoke to calm myself down and relax. I also started smoking less. It wasn’t a conscious choice, more just that I was busy with Josie and wanted to be fully present for every moment. I still smoke maybe twice a week. Usually at night and usually when Josie isn’t there.

She hasn’t smoked with me since the first time we did it together. Maybe she is worried she will jump me again, but really I see no problem in that. I never ask her or pressure her, because I know if she wants to she’ll ask. 

I do want us to try the sex weed through. The few times I have done it, it has been great. And this is me having sex with people I felt no connection to, like Scarlet. I can’t even imagine what it will be like with Josie. The sex is already by far the best I have ever had.

Maybe I will bring it up to her. Just to remind her. Maybe I’ll say something on the date. She is already so eager when it comes to fucking, I can’t wait to see what she would be like buzzed out on sex weed. 

Just when I am about to give up on the spell or get Josie to help me, she texts me, asking if we can all eat together. 

So that for sure means Josie, Lizzie and I. And wherever Lizzie is, Hope is usually close by, so she will probably be there too. And more recently MG has been hanging out with all of us. He is the piece that makes us hanging out not a double date. He is always so good at making the atmosphere light. 

So I text Josie that I’ll meet her there, and I strut towards the caf. I am stopped a couple of times by my friends that I don’t see as often as I used to. I don’t even know if I would call them my friends. I much rather spend time with the group in the caf, even if it includes Lizzie. 

I know soon my friends will drag me to some party. Lucy stopped to talk to me, talking about this huge party next week. 

I’ll need to ask Josie about it. 

After I manage to slither away from my friends, I finish my walk to the caf, to find everyone already there. 

Josie is squished by both Hope at her twin, leaving MG all alone on his side. I slide into the seat, finding Josie’s eyes and giving her a toothy smile, which she gladly returns. 

When she smiles, her round cheeks lift up higher, scrunching her doe eyes. She looks so cute all the time, it’s almost criminal. 

I steal one of MG’s fries, which earns me a huff of annoyance and a shove at the shoulders. MG and I are always playful like this. 

I perk up in the conversation when I hear Lizzie mentioning the party. 

I finish the food in my mouth before I join in, “You talking about the party this weekend? Lucy just mentioned it to me.” I explain, directing it at Josie, but I can tell this conversation will have to include everyone. And by that, I mean Lizzie will lead this conversation. 

So it comes as no shock when Lizzie speaks up, “Which one is Lucy? The one that hits on you all the time? Oh wait, that’s all of your friends.” 

Jesus. I didn’t even talk to her. She always has to start. 

And maybe on a regular day, I would let it go. But it's a build-up, and my classwork has been putting me on edge. 

“Jealous now Saltzman?” I counter back, attempting to keep the digs on the surface. But I can tell with the mischief behind Lizzie’s eyes, she doesn’t plan to keep it that way. 

Josie seems to be trying to play damage control, darting her eyes between the both of us, knowing how easily this could escalate. Her eyes are almost pleading, asking both of us to not continue. 

“As if. I still don’t understand how you have all those bimbos wrapped around your fingers.” She rolls her eyes casually as if she didn’t just make a sexiest comment that would offend half the school. 

“Easy now. Gonna offend yourself while you’re at it.” I narrow my eyes. And hey, it’s not like I directly called her a bimbo. 

Lizzie seems to rile up at that, and I do feel a bit proud by her reaction, but that significantly dampens when I see Josie’s disappointed face.

I can feel MG tense beside me, and Hope is just staring at the table, probably wishing she could disappear. And with all that magic she has, she probably could. 

“Yes, because you Penelope are so smart, deep and a fully realized person who goes so beyond the surface. You are so much more than your horrible makeup and capes.” She drawls, sarcasm poisoning her already annoying voice

And I mean, to some extent maybe she is right. I have surrounded myself in this wall that I have a hard time remembering what’s on the inside. Or even if there is anything in there at all.

“Lizzie.” Josie hizzes, thinking now is a good time to deescalate the situation. 

Little too late. And I don’t even know if Lizzie really knows what she is getting herself into her. I usually wouldn't get this worked up.

“You don’t know me,” I growl, letting my anger boil over. My jaw feels tight, and the muscles in my back feel strained, begging to exert some force. Begging for a real fight. I am challenging her. I know it. Just the strength of my voice is enough to show I am ready.

Showing my anger only seems to make Lizzie feel bigger. I can feel the shift in power. I can see that smug fucking look on her face. 

“Yeah, and it seems Josie doesn’t either.” She says with a horrible delight in her eyes. 

My eyes instantly dart to Josie who looks torn between being angry at her sister and looking incredibly guilty. 

“What the fuck does that mean.” I spit, no longer wanting to look at Josie anymore. 

What the fuck did she mean by that?

Fuck. 

“Lizzie, stop.” Josie tugs at her arm, trying to physically remove Lizzie from the conversation. 

What the fuck don’t I know?

Why does Josie look so guilty? 

“No.” I demand, “It’s okay Josie. Let her explain.” My voice is sharp, and I can see it takes Josie back a bit. Her eyes widen slightly before they dart down to the ground, biting her lip anxiously. Looking awfully guilty. 

I know that there are people listening around the caf. We haven’t been quiet. And I also know with the amount of supernatural hearing, we were bound to be heard. 

“You never talk to Josie about anything important. And I don’t know if it’s because you truly are that surface level or if you are just using my sister like I think you are. You have some huge freak out when she brings up your family like you have this huge dark secret you’re hiding. You know, some people here have pretty fucked up families, but your past must be really screwed up if no one knows about it. Maybe you really are the daughter of the devil.” 

Fire. 

Rage. 

Red. 

Pain. 

Betrayal. 

Hurt. 

Rejection. 

Fear. 

I feel it all. I feel it all in a matter of seconds. All at once a rush of this. 

Fucking Lizzie. Loudmouth, stupid fucking bitch. 

Nothing new there. 

But Josie. 

Josie has told Lizzie about our moments. My most vulnerable moments. Josie is bothered that I don’t open up. Josie thinks I’m surface level. Josie feels like she can’t connect with me. Josie feels as if I am hiding things. Keeping her out. 

Josie fucking knows she is way too good for me. 

Fuck. 

Memories flood back in. Memories that I haven’t seen clearly in years. Memories of him. Memories of his blood across the street. Memories of lifeless eyes staring blankly at me. Memories of explaining what happens to the cops. Memories of knowing the exact moment your parents hate you. Memories of knowing you will never truly forgive yourself. Or love yourself again. 

The ringing in my ears and the endless words in my head come to a standstill when I hear a lightbulb above me shatter. 

Oh. That’s from me. 

Control. 

Mask. Walls. Put them all up. 

You are strong. You have been running on no emotions for most of your life. 

You can do it now, even if you feel your whole world crumbling around you. 

I turn to Josie who actually has tears in her eyes, but none have fallen. Knowing that she fucked up. Looking maybe the sorriest I have ever seen anyone in my life. 

And it just pisses me off more. 

Tearing my eyes away from Josie, I zero in on Lizzie. I feel every old bit of me coming back. The heartless cruel person that Josie has kept at bay comes rushing back. It’s so easy to just let it happen. When I am hurt, I act out. I am mean. And right now I am so fucking hurt.

But with my last bit of logic and humanity, I cast a silencing spell so no one but our table can hear us. Knowing that what I am going to say isn’t something I want to whole school hearing.

Then after that. I let the floodgates open. A devilish smirk graces my face and my eyes light up, fire shining behind them. I see the fear in Lizzie, and I know that’s when to strike.

“You want to talk Lizzie? Then let’s talk. Let’s talk about the fact that you are a literal black hole that sucks up everything good around her. You drain Josie with your neediness and never give anything to her. I have never met a more selfish person in my life and that says a fucking lot. You drain Hope. You have this poor girl chasing after you as you continue to lead her on. The pain you put her through is something I wouldn’t even wish on you” I don’t dare look at Hope as I continue my rant. 

“I don’t know if you are sick in the head, cruel or just a ditsy blonde, but how you treat people is so horrible and disgusting. And what is the most disturbing part is I don’t even think you notice. So stop worrying about me and focus on how you are fucking up everyone’s life who cares about you.” 

I abruptly stand up, about to storm off when I see Josie going to stand too, hoping to follow me.

I point an accusatory finger at Josie, noticing how bad my hands are shaking, and knowing she can see it to. 

See how close I am to breaking down. Having a panic attack. Collapsing into myself. 

I go to speak, but when nothing comes out, I clear my throat to find my voice, “You. You don’t chase me. I don’t want to talk to you.” As much as I want to say my voice was strong, it wasn’t. It broke a couple times. 

But I manage to keep my face stoic. 

I storm out of the room. 

Get to my room. 

Get to my room. 

Straight face. 

Strong. Be strong. 

Be a Park. 

With each step, my lungs tighten. Each breath becomes harder. Each piece of me unravels. 

When I reach my room I let it go. 

I let it all go, collapsing against the door, face red and streaming with tears, and breathing erratic. 

So this is what heartbreak feels like. 

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! I am not very comfortable in my ability to write out fights and make them seem realistic and make them escalate in a way that makes sense. Did I write this fight okay? 
> 
> Who do you think is really at fault?
> 
> Did Penelope or Lizzie go too far?
> 
> Would you be mad at Josie if you were Penelope or is she over-reacting?
> 
> And last but not least, How was the smut?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is my first fanfic ever! If you guys like it, I might make a part 2! I would love feedback!


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